Chapter 29

When I started this, I was planning 15 maybe 20 chapters. Then I mentally revised to 30. That's not going to happen. At best it's another 6 chapters, probably closer to 10. Hope you guys don't mind.

Laura stood in the kitchen lost. She understood why Robbie needed to get away. What she didn't know was he just cooling off or was this more? Waiting was going to kill her but she was afraid to leave for fear he would return and read something into her not being home.

She looked around for something to do. Cleaning always calmed her, bringing order to chaos. She started in the kitchen and slowly spread to other rooms. Any time her mind would wander to Robbie she would find something else to clean.

Her eyes wandered to the clock in each room watching the hours tick away. The longer he was gone the more anxious she became. When the phone rang she was startled, she grabbed at it hoping it was him, "Robbie?"

"Sorry to disappoint Laura, it's Jean."

Laura's breath caught in her chest, "Hi Jean. Is everything OK?"

"That's why I was calling you. Based on how you answered the phone, can I surmise that things are not ok?"

"I've had better days."

"I'm guessing Robbie isn't there at the moment."

Laura shook her head, "No, he left a few hours ago."

Jean paused, "When you say left…"

A sob escaped Laura's chest, "I don't know. I think he just went to clear his head."

"Laura do you want me to come over?"

"No, if he comes back…" Laura stopped, realizing what she said. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, "No, when he comes back I don't want him to feel like there's no one on his side."

"Laura, what happened?"

"I told him everything."

"I see and how bad is everything."

Laura laughed before sitting on the sofa, "It's pretty bad. If you would like I can tell you. Might as well get it out to everyone."

Jean thought for a moment before making her decision, "No, I don't need to know. We've all made mistakes. It's what shapes us and makes us who we are. I know who you are today. Regardless of what mistakes you might have made in the past, who you are today is all I care about."

"Don't be too sure about that Jean. I did some pretty awful things."

"So did we all Laura, so did we all."

Suddenly very tired Laura sank into the sofa pulling the throw over her, "I don't think Robbie ever did."

Jean's bitter laugh surprised Laura, "I'd say keeping you hanging for years was a pretty horrible thing."

"That's not fair Jean. For many of those years I wasn't ready for a relationship either."

Jean took a deep breath calming herself, then decided to hell with it, "Laura, those last two years he strung you along. Close one minute then pushing you away the next. We all saw it. He knew that you would always be there but he couldn't just go for it nor could he let you go. I get that he loved his wife but what he did to you was cruel and unusual. There is absolutely nothing you could have done that was worse than that."

"I'm not sure that Malcolm would agree with that."

"What difference does Malcolm make? What you did or didn't do to Malcolm shouldn't matter to Robbie. You are with Robbie and, to my knowledge, you have never given him any cause to doubt how you feel for him."

"I'm not so sure that he looks at it that way. There were a lot of things I kept from him Jean. Today he found out all of them. It was a lot to take in all at once."

Taking a deep breath Jean countered, "I understand the shock of hearing it all at one time but it doesn't change who you are now. Who you were with Malcolm is not who you are with Robbie. And if he can't see that then it's his problem not yours. None of us are saints and I don't think you have ever pretended to be one."

Laura laughed, "No, I'm definitely not a saint and I've never pretended to be one." She sat up anger beginning to push back the edges of her self-pity.

"We are all guilty of horrible transgressions in our past. Hopefully we learn from them and become better people because of them. Would you say it happened with you?"

Laura thought for a moment. Jean was right, she had hung on those last two years waiting on Robbie because of what she'd done to Malcolm, "You're right. I'm not who I was. What I did might not have been the most honorable thing to have done but I have never and would never treat Robbie that way."

Jean smiled hearing the fight come back to her friend's words, "There's the Laura Hobson I know. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know but sitting here wallowing in misery isn't part of my game plan anymore."

"Good because I have an idea on something that you need to do."

Laura was suddenly cautious, "Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like your idea on something to do?"

Jean smiled, "Because you know me and you are right."

Taking a deep breath Laura dove in, "Continue."

"You need to confront Malcolm, on your terms, not his."

"Are you insane?"

Jean laughed, "Far from it. He's going to pick apart your support system attempting to weaken you. He's already gotten to James do you really think Robbie won't be next. Do you want him talking to Robbie while he's this vulnerable?"

Laura thought about it for a moment and knew Jean was right, "How did he get to James?"

"James was foolish and went to Malcolm."

Laura gasped, "I can't imagine that went well."

"You are correct. Malcolm picked him apart, child's play really."

"James hates me doesn't he?"

Jean thought for moment about how to answer the question. Finally decided honesty was the best tact, "It wasn't good. When I finally caught up with him he was pretty angry with you." Jean heard Laura's intake of breath, "I've talked with him and he's better."

"Should I talk with him?"

"It wouldn't hurt, but give him a bit of space. He needs to wrap his brain around the fact that you aren't perfect."

Laura stared at the phone before answering, "I've never pretended to be. What does that mean?"

"Laura, don't kill the messenger. I never said you thought you were. But James had an image of you that Malcolm helped to destroy." Laura closed her eyes knowing how destructive Malcolm could be, "Laura, he's OK but he proves my point. Malcolm will keep this up until he gets you alone."

"So I should just stroll into the lion's den?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense."

"Really Jean, a sports metaphor, from you."

Jean laughed, "I'm tired and I have a hangover, give me a break. My point is put him on his back foot. Stop letting him control the game. He may have started it but I suspect you have the power to finish it."

"I don't know if I have any power over Malcolm anymore Jean."

"That's not true Laura. I saw him with you yesterday. You still have a hold on him and him you I suspect. First loves are powerful things."

Laura closed her eyes recognizing the truth of Jean's statement, "I'll think about it. But I can't do anything until Robbie gets back. I won't leave until he's home."

Jean could hear the desperation in Laura's voice, "I suspect you have your reasons, but don't wait too long. Don't give Malcolm any more power than he already has."

"Thanks Jean, I needed this. I promise to tell you the whole story one day."

"Like I said, I don't need to know it. I know who you are now. I don't need to know who you were then. However, if you need to share it, I am happy to listen."