Traditional

Chapter Eleven: Always

Closing her eyes, she tried to stop the world from spinning, her fingers clutching lamely at the wall behind her. The world around her spinning in five hundred different directions as the alcohol pumped through her bloodstream. She felt like she was drowning in questions, one after another flooding into her mind, giving her little time to answer them before the next claimed its place and time there.

Why did he do it? Why her? How could she- Where were the si- His trip to Santa Fe- Had he- When was this awful nightmare going to end?

She breathed carefully through her mouth before fluttering her eyes open to see Jason maneuvering through the kitchen, filling a glass of water. "What are you doing?"

"You need water and painkillers and sleep, and I'm helping you get those things. Where do you keep your meds?"

"Bathroom mirror," she waved with an irritated sigh, leaning her head back against the wall. "You need to stop babying me."

"So you said," Jason muttered before moving past her to her bathroom. "Did you eat?"

"Did I eat what?" Her brows crinkled in confusion as she shifted from one foot to another uncomfortably. She was so hot! What was she wearing? And more importantly, why was she still wearing it?

"Food. Something. Before you tried to drink your liver away," he called out to her, her mirror popping loudly as he opened it.

She moaned in response, trying to think of an answer as her hands reached the hem of her dress and pulled it, haphazardly over her head and tossing it somewhere in the room, walking towards the sound of his voice. "Is that judgement I hear, Mr. Bartender?"

"Just answer the question."

She frowned, unappreciative of his tone as her thumbs hooked at the top of her underwear and pushing them down her legs. "You work at a bar. You shouldn't be judging me."

"I'm not. I just want to know if you… Holy shit," he trailed as he turned out the bathroom in time to see her bra fall from her shoulders and to the floor, leaving her standing naked like Lady Godiva. His eyes traveled up and down her body, his hand shaking a little as if there was a physical war battling inside him.

She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips. "Hey… Eyes up here," she ordered with a weak gesture to her eyes.

Blinking, he cleared his throat before handing her the glass of water and two pills, mumbling a "sorry" and averting his eyes to random spot on the wall as if he was genuinely fascinated by it. If the lights were on she would swear he was…

"You're blushing," the thought rolled out of her mouth before she could even think to stop it. "You. Mr. Should-join-a-nudist-colony is blushing at me being naked?"

"Yes, well… I know how much you treasure your modesty," he huffed, still holding out the items in his hands to her. "Did you eat before you got smashed?"

"I did," she answered, taking the the glass and pills but never letting her eyes leave his face. It was actually quite interesting to see him like this, shy and docile, like a kid whose hand was catch in the cookie jar. He was always so cocky and arrogant and nearly impossible to deal with on a constant basis, it was nice to see him all clammed up.

Taking the two tablets, she lifted the glass to her lips and took a long swig, her eyes still locked on his form. Finishing the glass, she licked her lips with a sigh. "It's weird, being on this side of the fence. Normally, you're the one prancing around naked in my apartment and I'm the one trying to find something interesting on the wall."

His lips curled at one edge. "Is that your way of saying that you like-?"

"Of course, I do," she admitted before she could stop herself. God, why couldn't she stop while she was ahead? "I mean, you should seriously thank whoever made you for… That."

"That?"

"All of it," Why couldn't she stop talking? "Your face, your body…"

"My machinery?" Jason added, his grin growing wider.

Raven bit her lip, finally finding the strength to shut her mouth and hold back the words she would never utter to anyone, least of all, him. Why was it so easy to be around him, and tell him truths she did not wish to speak of? Was she doomed to forever spill her guts to him and make everything more awkward than their whole relationship already was?

She pressed the empty glass into his chest. "Digging," she managed to say and nothing more (thank god!) as she moved past him to her bedroom.

Ignoring his chuckle, she turned her focus to her feet that she could barely feel underneath her. Putting a little too much weight on her left foot, her ankle buckled and her hands flying out for the walls to stop her from falling, feeling pair of hands catch her hips. Raven rolled her eyes. "I got it, I got it. You can quit babying."

"Just taking care of a friend."

She hummed in response as she continued her trek, her fingertips outstretched for the walls in case she should lose her balance again. She refused to acknowledge Jason's hands still hovering around her, ready to catch her at any moment. Actually, it was almost comforting knowing that he was there - that she could just fall into his arms and he would catch her, holding her tight against his chest and keeping her safe.

She would never say that out loud though.

Stumbling over her feet a little, she made it to her bed, sliding into the soft, cool sheets as her muscles relaxed against the mattress. Sliding her eyes closed, she let out a sigh turned moan, her limbs kicking and spreading out over the sheets, a floating feeling tingling her senses.

"Well, you seem to be getting on just fine," she cracked an eye to see him standing away from her bed, his eyes staring at the black string of words posted above her bed. "I'll, er… see you in the morning."

"Wait," she called just as he turned for the door. "You said you'd stay with me."

"I am. In the living room," his voice shook slightly at the end of his sentence. As if he wasn't entirely sure of what he was saying. "Sleep ti-."

"In my bed," she repeated her words from earlier. Wincing from the words that seemed to scratch and claw their way out of her throat. "You said you'd stay with me In my bed and chase the bad thoughts away."

A second of suspended silence drifted between them. Two. She watched his shoulders drop slightly while he let go of the breath he was holding and looked over his shoulder at her. "…I did."

"So…?" She lifted the blanket open for him to join her.

He hesitated for another second, taking a deep breath before he turned back around, his fingers curling around the hem of his shirt and lifting, his muscles rippling and stretching as he pulled the stretchy fabric over his head. God, it was like he was photoshopped!

It was so surreal and flawless and perfect, she didn't know if she wanted to sculpt him or punch him in the stomach to see if it hurt.

She didn't have time to dwell on the thought, feeling his weight on the side of the bed, toying with the belts on his kilt. Maybe it was the booze in her system making her see things but she could've sworn his hands were shaking as he unclasped each belt, his usual confident demeanor waning at the edges.

She opened her mouth to speak. To say what - she wasn't sure. Maybe stop him, but before she could get a word out, he had opened his kilt and let it slip from his hips, leaving him just as bare as she was.

Lifting her sheets, he slipped into her bed, lying down and facing her, his bright malachite eyes locking with hers. Her heart slammed in her chest and her nerves boiled in her stomach, spreading up and out into her veins and tightening her throat. She swallowed as her body subconsciously curled and inched for his warmth. The smell of his cologne flooded her senses, and a small voice in the back of her mind hoped that the scent would linger on her pillow for days after.

"Comfortable?" He asked, his voice soft.

Nodding her head, she inched closer towards him. "You?"

"Yes," he shifted closer, their legs bumping into each other. He hissed. "Aah! Cold feet."

"Sorry," a small giggle skirted her voice as she pulled her feet away from his but maintaining their closeness. "Thank you, Jason."

His brows crinkled together. "What for?"

"Being here. Coming to get me. Taking care of me," she leaned her face into her pillow, slight shame for her behavior and humility flooding her system. "Everything."

"Oh, Little Bird," his hand coming up to her face and push a rogue piece of hair from her face to behind her ear. "I will always be here for you."

Her eyes flicked to his, and time seemed to stand still. She stopped breathing, her eyes scanning every crevice and curve and scar of his face. Admiring how the moonlight from her window poured and fell on his skin, illuminating the white streak in his hair.

Without thinking about it, she lifted her hand to his streak and ran her fingers through his hair.

Somewhere in her was telling her this was wrong. He was a rogue, through and through. Dangerous and wild, and sure to leave her hurt at the bottom of a bottle. Just like he did.

But there was something else in her that pined and ached…

Maybe it was the alcohol, or how close he was. Maybe it was his cologne and the warmth of his body - his gorgeous naked body, lying next to her. Or maybe it was the way he looked at her like she was the only important person in the world. Perhaps it was a dangerous combination of all of these, but for a moment - just this moment where they were suspended in this timeless, dream-like, moonlit moment, alone and naked in her bed, she willed herself to forget who they were.

If just for a moment.

Her eyes drifted down to his lips, parted and waiting, as the memories she only replayed in her private moments flashed before her eyes.

"Do you ever…" She trailed, her fingers following the line of her gaze to his lips and tracing them with feather light touches.

"Do I ever what?"

"The kiss…" she whispered, dragging her eyes to flick up to meet his. Those malachite eyes that she had grown so accustomed to and yet still disarmed her. Why did he have to have those eyes? Why did he have to look at her like that? Like she was something precious. "Our kiss… Do you ever-?"

"All the time," he responded, answering the question on the tip of her tongue before she could fully form it. He leaned his head against her forehead and licked his lips. "I think about our kiss-."

"All the time," she finished, her eyes falling back down to his mouth. Memories flooded her mind of his lips on hers. So slow and dragging and soft and strong and wonderful. The taste of his mouth, the smell of his skin, feel of his tongue running over her bottom lip. All of it. "So do I."

A second passed. Maybe two, and with a little push of bravery, she leaned her head up to his lips and the world disappeared into oblivion. It seemed her memory had failed her. His kisses weren't as good as she remembered it.

They were better.

Slow and so full of passion as his lips moved against hers, matching her kiss for kiss. He tasted like caramel and fresh fruit and the flavor was addicting. His tongue licked at her lips as his hands slid over her sides, gripping and squeezing lightly at the curves of her hips and pulling her closer to flush against his body.

She let out a sigh turned moan as her fingers tangling themselves in the tresses of his hair and her leg hiked up over his hip, trying to scratch the persistent itch that burned underneath her skin. She bucked her hips against his, feeling that he too felt a similar itch.

Growing bolder, she rose above him, making him lie on his back as she straddled him, grinding her naked warmth along the length of him. He groaned between their mouths, his body shaky underneath her. She could feel his heart thrum wildly beneath her palms as they explored the planes of his chest, her lips never veering away from his.

Her skin was hot, prickling with a thin layer of sweat and her blood surged in her veins. Her body trembled in want and anxiousness, the feel of him quickly hardening between her legs slowly but surely driving her mad with salacious thoughts of what they could do.

She wanted this. She wanted him. As they were now, wrapped in a passionate embrace, a blend of endless, tangled limbs and heated mouths and electric desperation. Here, in this moment, she could forget what happened, what he was, what she was, what tomorrow's repercussions may be and just be.

And damn, it felt so fucking good!

Her hips rolled against him rhythmically, his length hardening and twitching with every drag of their bare skin. His hands sliding and squeezing whatever they could reach as their kisses grew more and more desperate, their breaths heavy and volatile.

Her hands slowly slid down his chest, sinking lower and lower to his-

"No!" He grunted, pulling his lips away from hers, and gripping her hips, almost painfully so that they remained still. He sealed his eyes and his jaw clenched as he was battling something within himself. "No… Not like this. We can't do this like this."

She furrowed her brows. "Like what?"

"You're drunk," he said, bluntly, opening his eyes. "And distraught. You don't know what you're doing ."

"I know what I'm doing."

"Raven," he called through clenched teeth, his hands gripping her hips harder to stop the slightest twitch of her hips.

"As much as I want this - and God, do I want you…" He whispered to more to himself, his eyes dropping down to her body before snapping them back to hers. "We can't do this. I won't take advantage of you."

Raven shook her head. "You wouldn't be taking advantage of me."

"If I did this with you in this state, I would be and I'm not going too," Jason spoke a more forcibly. When Raven didn't move, he licked his lips and his eyes softened. "You're worth more than this, Raven."

Hearing her words from earlier that night repeated back to her snapped her back into reality. Jason was right. She was worth more than a drunken one night fix and he was a fucking prick for ever thinking so. "I deserve more than this."

A small smile touched his face. "Yes, you do."

She nodded, her cheeks flushing pink in embarrassment at her behavior, still feeling him press at her between her legs, and the words that threatened to claw their way out her throat.

Jason seemed to notice this and tilted his head to the side. "What?"

Raven pressed her lips, looking away from his curious gaze and trying to fight the words. But the alcohol in her was still stronger than her restraint. "Will you still… At least… Hold me until I fall asleep?"

She didn't have to look down to see the slow grin spread on his face. She could hear it. "Yeah, Little Bird. We can cuddle."

She rolled her eyes at him as they shifted so that she was lying next to him with his arm cradling her to his chest. She sighed as she settled into his arms, splaying her hand out on his chest, his heartbeat thudding softly under her palm.

Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt his fingers stroke her hair, growing comfortable quickly in his arms. It was like they were two perfectly cut puzzle pieces, weird and jagged in some places but they seemed to fit.

She let out a small hum when she felt his lips brush her forehead, planting a soft kiss there. "How are you good at this and be a good kisser?"

He chuckled, pressing his cheek on the top of her head. "Just lucky, I guess."

"You seem to be very lucky in a lot of aspects," Raven pointed out, poking at one of his biceps and wiggling her hips just slightly towards the muscle between his legs, causing him to laugh in response. For once the sound didn't agitated her as she allowed a small smile to make its way to her face. "Jason?"

"Yes, Little Bird?"

"Thank you… For being my friend."

She felt his arms wrap tighter around her, bringing her closer, another kiss pressing to her temple. "Always, Raven. Always."