Time Doesn't Always Run Straight
Adam
Part 4
Last chapter of Adam! Thank goodness. Definitely not a favorite of mine, even if it was fun to come with moments from Jestine's past. Also had 50th review! So thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, it is incredible. And to those who have been reading, following and favoriting. As much fun as writing this is, I could never continue without the support. Next chapter will cover them waking up and then we will have Reset. Enjoy and let me know what you thought.
Jestine bursts into Jack's office before he can even say anything. This close up he can see her eyes are puffy and bloodshot, like she had spent the night crying.
"You ok?" He asks, winching as she suddenly bursts into tears. He gently guides her to a seat.
"I want them to stop." Jestine blurts out between sobs.
"What to stop?" Jack asks with growing concern. Something told him that Adam was somehow involved.
"The nightmares." Jestine replies.
"What nightmares?"
"I keep seeing them. I know they aren't real, they can't be." Jestine continues to sob.
"You need to calm down and explain them to me." Jack replies firmly. His memories told him this was the best way to deal with Jestine while his heart told him there was something seriously wrong with the whole situation.
Jestine stops sobbing and takes a few deep breaths. Her voice is still shaky when she replies to Jack. "I keep seeing these visions. Visions of horrible things. Things I've done."
"What kind of things?" Jack asks carefully, something pricking at the back of his mind that this was a bad idea.
"Killing things. I killed a whole species." Jestine wails, resuming her sobbing.
"When did it start?" Jack questions her, the puzzle pieces coming together in his mind.
"Yesterday." Jestine snuffles.
While he doesn't want to believe it, a part of Jack tells him that Jestine isn't experiencing false memories like Tosh was. He knew this was Jestine's actual memory coming through. He had to remove Adam's influence on the team but he would be destroying one monster to bring back another. He takes a deep breath before replying.
"I can fix this but you need to trust me. No matter what, just trust me." He tries to soothe her.
She nods without hesitation.
"Let's deal with the problem then." Jack moves out his office, just following shakily behind.
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Jack marches over to Adam. Adam is sitting on his chair, looking at his monitor and doesn't see Jack coming.
Jack cocks his gun, pointing it at Adam's head.
The team watch on, a look of shock on all their faces.
"Talk to me Adam, if that's even your name." Jack sneers.
"What?" Adam asks as he swivels around, laughing.
"What are you doing Jack?" Gwen asks nervously.
"He's not who you think he is. He's been feeding himself into our memories, by touch." Jack explains, never taking his eyes off Adam.
"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Ianto asks with disgust.
"He didn't exist until two days ago." Jack argues, his heart clenching at Ianto's protection of Adam.
"Can somebody tell me what's going on, please?" Adam looks to the different team members.
"Jack, we've known him for years. He is part of the team." Owen argues.
"No. he just made you think that." Jack grits his teeth.
"Come on, Jack." Adam reaches out for Jack. "You recruited me yourself. Remember."
Jack darts back, his gun still trained on Adam. "Ah-ah-ah! You don't get me like that."
Adam pulls back. "Jack, you know me. You recruited me three years ago." Adam starts pleading.
"All I know is that when I think of my team, I see you there, but I don't feel anything for you. No pride, no warmth … You, the one who I can confide in, the one who unburied the dead." Jack doesn't mention the undercurrent of feelings surrounding Jestine, his mind too muddled to work them out.
"Jack, maybe you've just forgotten him. Like I did with Rhys, yeah?" Gwen gives what she thinks is an encouraging smile.
"Oh I should have spotted it then. That wasn't stress. That was him. By making us think we know him, he disturbs our real memories." Jack answers tersely.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Adam tries to convince Jack.
"I'm taking him to the vaults!" Jack has had enough talking. He grabs Adam by the shirt front and yanks him out of the chair.
"Jack, this is ridiculous." Adam squirms.
Jack pushes him in front of him as an answer and forces him forward towards the stairs leading to the vaults.
"Move!" He demands.
Suddenly a gun cocks.
"No!" Ianto declares, his gun pointing at Jack as Owen and Gwen take a step towards him.
"Ianto!" They both shout.
He swings the gun around and points it towards them and Tosh.
"That's not gonna help." Owen tries to talk Ianto down.
"Ianto?" Jack calls to him. Jack's heart pounds. He needs to get Adam away from the team now.
He swings around so the gun is pointing at Jack again.
"I'm just going to lock him up." Jack tries to calm Ianto.
"Let him go." Ianto demands. He doesn't notice Jestine moving closer to him.
"I'm not going to harm him." Jack reassures Ianto.
"Why should I believe you?" Ianto grits his teeth.
"Ianto, Ianto, we can talk about this." Owen begs. Ianto glances towards him before turning his attention back to Jack.
"Drop the gun, Jack!" He demands.
Suddenly Jestine strikes. She sweeps Ianto's feet out from under him while twisting his arms. As Ianto thuds to the floor Jestine wrenches the gun from his hands. She shakily holds it over Ianto.
"Shit!" Gwen declares as the team looks shocked at Jestine's suddenly and out of character action.
"He's done something to us. Please let Jack fix it." Jestine's voice trembles.
"This is what you've done to us. Move!" Jack demands as he hauls Adam away. Ianto watches in anguish, unable to do anything.
As soon as Jack and Adam are gone Jestine throws the gun away and sinks to her knees, shakily and sobbing inconsolably.
Gwen rushes to her side while Tosh and Owen help Ianto to his feet. They slowly move to the conference room, hopeful that Jack would have answers for them soon.
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Adam is locked up in one of the cells. He slams his hands against the glass and pants heavily. Jack watches as he continues to slam the glass.
"Don't kill me. I had to become part of your memories in order to survive. I didn't mean any harm." Adam pleads for his live.
"You've changed us." Jack snarls.
"For the better. You didn't remember who you were. I helped you. Look at Owen, all his cynicism gone. He's a different man now. Selfless, happier. And Ianto, too – he's never been this confident."
"What about Gwen? You made her forget Rhys." Jack hisses.
"I didn't mean to. It's a side effect. Surely it's nothing in exchange for my life." Adam argues.
"What about Toshiko? Was making her a murderer just a side effect." Jack sneers.
"Self-preservation. She was going to tell you who I was. I'm sorry. I can change it. I don't want to go back to the void. I just want to exist." Adam throws himself against the glass in desperation.
"What about Jestine? She didn't know who you were but you made her into someone who thought she didn't matter." Jack yells.
Adam smirks. "I didn't have to make her think that. She already did. I merely made the rest of you see it."
"Why though? You claim you made the rest of us better, why not do the same with her?" Jack probes.
"She was a threat. Her mind was fighting me. I had to make sure no one would listen to her." Adam admits.
"Why her, why wasn't anyone else?"
Adam smirks. "She isn't from here. That gave her an advantage. And she is strong, fighting her whole life. While the others accepted their past being changed her mind clang to the truth."
"How did you come here? Why us?" Jack continues the interrogation.
"All of you have such unique memories. Especially you and Jestine." Adam licks his lips at the thought. "Such extraordinary memories, some hidden, some absent." He smirks. "Has Jestine ever said anything to you about those absent memories?"
"What do you mean?" Jack asks cautionary. Jestine had already claimed to know nothing but Jack hadn't believed her.
Adam smirks again. "She has so many delicious secrets. You should ask her to share. They do involve you after all."
Jack resits reacting, knowing Adam's game. Instead he puts his hand on the glass, just over Adam's. "It's a good thing we wipe out aliens for a living."
"You can't shoot me." Adam yells as Jack turns and walks away. "You made me live. And you always remember what you killed…"
This causes Jack to stop. Adam smirks. "Don't you, Jack?"
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"What the hell is Jack doing?" Ianto yells once they enter the conference room.
Jestine sinks heavily into a seat, still trembling. "He changed us."
"Jack already said that." Ianto snarls.
"Please Ianto, let us explain." Tosh reaches out to him, grasping his arm.
Ianto huffs before dropping into a chair. "Fine, explain to me."
"He's a parasite, feeding off our memories. In order to exists he needs to change people's memories, inserts himself."
"What proof do you have?" Ianto accuses. "Who's to say Jack hasn't just made it up?"
"When I was looking up the files there was no trace of Adam. His name didn't appear in a single case file. And his records were created only yesterday. How could that be possible if he had been working here for years like he claims?"
"Maybe Jack altered them." Ianto retorts.
"There is the memories too." Jestine stammers.
Tosh nods in agreement. The memories still seemed real but she believed Jack when he told her they weren't. She just needed to trust him and it would be over. "First Gwen forgetting Rhys."
"Stress." Ianto argues.
"Stress does not cause you to forget your fiancé. Plus he tried to change my memories." Tosh confesses. "He realised I had discovered him so he tried to make me think I was a murderer. If it weren't for Jack I would still think that."
"He did the same for me." Jestine adds. "I would get these flashes, glimpses of these events."
"What were they?" Gwen asks curiously.
"In one I killed a whole species. Another I was the one responsible for Jack's missing memory." Jestine looks away, tears forming again.
Ianto looks between Tosh and Jestine, trying to form an argument.
"You have to believe us." Tosh exclaims. "Look at what Jestine did to disarm you. The Jestine we've been made to believe in would never do that. Adam is trying to make us believe that Jestine trips over her own feet yet she managed to sweep you to your feet and disarm you. How could see do that?" Tosh challenges Ianto.
Jestine shoots up from her seat. "No. That isn't right. It can't be. I'm not like that. Those memories are fake."
Tosh shakes her head sadly. "I don't think so. I've read the case files. You aren't like this. You got in trouble for threatening to cut a guy up alive, you shot an alien that had Gwen hostage. There is a strong possibility those memories are real. I'm sorry."
Jestine collapses back in her seat. "No, it can't be. Your memories were fake, why can't these?"
"I'm sorry. Adam did it to try and stop me revealing what I knew. From the reports you know just as much as Jack does when it comes to aliens. Maybe you knew something about him. He needed to make it so we wouldn't listen to you."
"So we erase Adam from our memories and go back to who we were before?" Jestine asks.
Tosh nods her head.
"So you go back to knowing you aren't a murderer, Gwen remembers her fiancé, who knows what those two will be after." Jestine gestures to Owen and Ianto. "But I have to remember I'm a monster, remember all the horrible things I did."
"Why? Why can't I stay like this?" Jestine demands.
"Because this isn't you." Jack replies, having entered the room. He moves to the front of the room and turns on a monitor. It shows Adam in his cell.
"Our memories define us. Adam changed those memories .. changed who we are. Now I have to help you all go back, find a memory that defines you. Rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he'll still be here when we've done this." Jack explains. "You'll still be who you are now."
He presses the control button and turns the CCTV camera off, replaced with a swirly pattern.
"Let me take you back to before we all met …" His voice sooths them as he dims the lights.
"Feel around for anything that makes you what you are … the hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are." Jack instructs.
The team stare in front of themselves but not seeing the external, their minds drifting through their untainted memories.
Gwen laughs as she recalls her and Rhys at college.
Parts of memories vocalise.
"I love you because you're my son…" Owen whispers.
"Running, so much running." Jestine smiles. "The mad man with a box." Jack startles at the mention but doesn't interrupt.
Toshiko smiles sadly. "Something so reliable about maths…"
Jack watches them all but his heart clenches at Ianto. "Falling in love…"
"That is the nicest thing you've done for me in years, Mother." Owen mutters bitterly.
"The look on his face." Gwen laughs.
Jestine clenches her eyes closed. "Killing, killing them all." Despite Adam's treatment of her, Jestine's true memories were much more painful. He wished he could change it but her past was what made her and Jack had no right to change that.
"I didn't have a flat-warning." Tosh confesses.
Jack watches Ianto again. "Like the world had ended." Jack knows Ianto means Lisa but there were so many other moments in Ianto's life he could be talking about it makes Jack just want to take Ianto away from it all, take away all the pain.
"I love him." Gwen turns and looks at Jack. "But not in the way I love you."
Jack sighs. There were enough complications he didn't want to have to deal with this. Instead of replying he simply holds out a pill for Gwen. "Take this."
Gwen deflates but takes the pill without question.
"…Waiting for someone to see it." Tosh's face is wet with tears. Jack puts a hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him.
"I saw it." Jack replies hoarsely as he puts a small white pill in front of Tosh. She looks at it as Jack moves on.
"Who'll save me?" Owen pleads out loud.
Jack holds Owen's shoulder. "I will." Again he puts a small white pill on the table.
"…Gave me meaning again." Ianto looks to Jack. "You."
Jack tenderly kisses Ianto's forehead before putting the pill in front of Ianto.
"The Doctor leaving. Jestine whispers. "Always alone."
"You aren't alone here." Jack reassures Jestine as he places the pill in front of her. He then moves once again to the head of the table.
"You each have a short-term amnesia pill. It'll make you forget Adam. We have to wipe out the last 48 hours from our memories, go back to who we were." Jack explains.
Tosh, Owen and Gwen take the pill without hesitation.
"What if I don't want to?" Jestine intercuts the silence. Her face is stained with tears.
"You have to. We need to erase every trace of Adam for it to work." Jack clarifies.
"I can't. I can't become that person. She's a monster." Jestine pushes herself away from the table.
"You don't have a choice." Jack gently persuades Jestine back into her seat.
"But she's got no one." Jestine protests.
"You have us." Jack tires to comfort her.
"No. You're not. You're always there. Every when and where, there you are, but never when I need you." Jestine retorts.
"I'm here now." Jack wraps his arms around Jestine. "I'm sorry I wasn't but I am now."
Jestine chokes back a sob before picking up the pill. "Promise?"
"I will always be here for you." Jack promises. If there was one thing he could promise, it was his continual presence.
Jestine silently swallows the pill. Jack moves over to Ianto who still hesitates. Ianto presses the button to view Adam.
"I'm going to lose so much." He stares at the screen.
"None of it was real." Jack argues.
"He loved me … and I loved him. It's no different from real memory." Ianto replies.
"He forced it onto you." Jack gently raises Ianto's chin so they are staring into each other's eyes. "He doesn't love you. I do. You need to remember the truth." Jack leans in and tenderly presses his lips to Ianto's. For a moment Ianto is stock still then he reaches to cup Jack's face with his hand.
They break apart but rest their foreheads together. "I promise you, Adam could never love you as much as I love you. Please trust me." Jack holds out the pill. Ianto accepts it, watching the screen as he swallows. "Goodbye Adam."
As Ianto starts to fall asleep Jack carefully guides his face to the table. The rest of the team start to succumb to sedative.
"I'm sorry for everything I did to you." Jestine whispers before closing her eyes.
Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought. Reviews are critical in helping me improve, plus I love hearing what you think about each chapter, you guys have such interesting thoughts.