A/N: Updated.

Chapter 2

"Are you alright? You've been up in the clouds all night," Lois asked caressing his hair.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. No natural disasters, no big crimes the police couldn't handle, not even a cat stuck in a tree. In their apartment, Clark and Lois sat watching the news, although Clark wasn't really encapsulated. Ever in tune with his mood, Lois had flicked off the news and turned to her boyfriend.

He had been up in the clouds. Today's confrontation lead him to the same thought path he often travelled when he was faced with criticism. During his battle with Faora she had been absolutely right he was weak and unsure of himself. Although six months of constant saves and general approval did wonders for his self-assurance as a hero, there was still that small nugget of uncertainty he held in his heart. Was he truly a hero? Could humanity ever trust him completely? Should they? Often when he voiced his thoughts Lois completely contested every doubt. Gratitude abounded, but he wondered if she was a little biased considering he had saved her life more than a few times and they were in a relationship. If he were to improve himself as a hero, he needed an opinion that wasn't coated with love for him.

And then there was Kassandra. She was intelligent, quick-witted, and generally friendly. Clark liked her, but for some reason, didn't completely trust her. Nothing verbal in their five-minute conversation invited suspicion; it was her eyes. The way they had traced every contour of his face as if she was a kind of facial recognition software made him feel disconcerted and less confident in his ability to play the role prescribed to him. Ironically this lack of confidence actually bolstered his 'Clark Kent' performance as her eyes' constant presence he could feel. Thus he was a little more distracted and more accident prone than usual.

Clark turned to Lois who was patiently waiting for him to start. Knowing the script of the conversation involving Cat, he decided to start with the easy part of his day.

"I was thinking about what Cat said today.

Lois sighed exasperated. "Clark, she's all hot air and you know that."

"Yeah, but she has a point."

"Clark, how many times do we have to go over this?"

"I did cause a lot of damage Lois. I did endanger the lives of thousands of people."

"You also saved billions of people. Not to mention the millions of other animal and plant species on this planet," she said adamantly.

"I'm just saying I can understand why some people can write me off as a terrorist or a threat. I am very powerful," he said.

"I know. So powerful that you could hold the world under your boot, but you don't because you're a good person."

Clark took a deep breath and stretched his hands on his knees.

"Now are you ready to talk about the real problem?"

He looked at her surprised. Underestimating her ability to read him was a mistake he didn't often make.

"What is it?" she asked gently.

"Kassandra. When I talked to her-" Clark stopped, unsure of how to continue.

"What did Kassandra say?"

"That's the thing. She didn't say anything strange or insulting."

"I don't understand," she asked obviously confused.

He didn't understand either. "Does Kassandra seem a little off to you?"

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "She's a little mysterious. I like how she tore into Cat, but I don't know her. On paper she seems on the up and up."

"On paper. What does your journalistic instinct say?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, Clark. She seems normal."

Clark sighed. "When I was talking to her, she kept staring at my face."

"Well, Clark you do have a nice face." She chuckled a little bit. Clark couldn't help but smile.

"Not like that. Like she was studying it. Like she recognized me."

Worry replaced the mirth in Lois' eyes. "Do you think she knows who you are?"

Clark looked away for a moment. It had been a long-standing fear of his that was now shared with Lois. They hadn't discussed what they would do if someone discovered the truth. Frankly he had hoped to stall that conversation. Their relationship was new and he wanted to enjoy the honeymoon period while it lasted.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"That settles it then. We'll keep an eye on her to see if she does or says anything else suspicious. And I'll look into her background," Lois said with a small smile.

He felt as though a weight was lifted from his chest. He didn't know how he handled his secret without her. It was so much easier having another person in his corner, someone to support him and help him protect his dire secret. If the press found out about his alternate identity, his daily annoyances would increase a hundred-fold, but nothing compared to the hell that might happen to his family if a disgruntled felon he helped nab got wind of this sensitive information.

"I don't know what I would do without you." I love you. He wanted to say it so badly, but he sensed that it was too early. Instead he would show her his feelings: he kissed her. She deepened the kiss, as they kissed long and slow. Clark's hands found her hips and slid up to her back. Suddenly and disappointingly, she pulled away.

"Mmm, in the meantime we should start on our story," she purred.

He sighed.

"I suppose you're right. I suppose it is my job. Best to keep up appearances," he said between kissing her neck. She chuckled as she reluctantly extricated herself and flipped open her laptop.

It was happening again.

It was the same place and time and they were both in their roles reliving that macabre moment.

"If you love these people so much, you can mourn for them!" A thrill of fear shot through Clark. He knew what Zod was going to do before he acted. A beam of heat shot out of Zod's eyes towards the defenseless family. Clark watched the cowering family as the beam inched closer and closer. He couldn't do anything. He had Zod captured, but he couldn't move; Zod was as immovable as his choice was inevitable. "Don't do this!" Clark begged.

"Never!" Zod answered darkly.

"Stop!" he pleaded with tears stinging his eyes. It was futile. Closing his eyes, Clark's limbs acted out of desperation as they snapped the neck of the only other member of his race. The thud of Zod's body on the ground was all he registered. It broke him. A terrible, searing pain ripped through his heart until it escaped as a strangled defeated cry.

"Clark!" The next thing he knew someone was shaking him awake. "Clark! You're dreaming, honey."

His breath was haggard and interspersed with sobs. He felt Lois' arms around him and leaned into the comfort.

"It's okay. It's okay," she whispered as she gently stroked his hair. They shared a look. Her eyes filled with love and comfort. His eyes were filled with shame. A silent conversation passed between them. Clark knew how it ended, but he also knew the truth: it would never be okay.

In her eyes he could see the dissent there. But instead of words, she laid his head on her chest just above her heart. Focusing only on that sound, he tried to fall back asleep.