A/N: Updated.

Chapter 3

Clark tiptoed quietly through his and Lois' apartment with a paper bag of maple donuts in his teeth and two coffees in his hands. After being jostled awake by his nightmare, he couldn't fall back asleep, and had snuck out to patrol the city and the world. Not needing as much sleep as a human was helpful on nights like last night, but Clark preferred to stay with Lois when he could and so did she. For that reason, the donuts and coffee were a peace-offering. Deciding the donuts would keep, he carefully set their breakfast on the table and slunk back to the room he shared with her. But instead of finding her in the bed, he found her asleep atop her laptop at her desk. Lois could never fall asleep of her own will after being woken. She must have decided to make her insomnia productive. Feeling guilty, he picked her up and lain her on their bed.

Gently he moved a stray strand out of her face and Clark was transfixed by her in that moment. Her red hair was tousled and strewn across her pillow, a serene look was on her face as her chest slowly rose and fell. The light from the early morning caressed her face gently; highlighting ever freckle and imperfection that she hated and Clark adored. She was angelic.

Looking at her so peaceful and beautiful, he wondered like he often did how he got to this point. Six months ago he was a drifter with no real connection to the world except for his mother, but even she couldn't bring him home. Alone without an identity or a place, he was nothing and no one on this earth. A faceless shadow that was occasionally some help. And he thought it was best that way. Maybe he didn't deserve to have a normal life; maybe it was his destiny to stay alone forever.

Then out of nowhere, a nosy, beautiful reporter came into his life who not only easily discovered his secret (which he couldn't decide if he was impressed or alarmed by), but believed in him so completely from the beginning that she kept it even when her freedom was threatened. That faith in him lead to his faith in humanity. If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have been able to save the world. If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have a place there. If it hadn't been for her, he would have never left that train station.

Without her, he would never move on from it. He knew this. She saved him as much as he had saved her. And then she loved him. She loved all of him! This was the strangest thing. Instead of balking or recoiling in revulsion, she accepted his alien heritage. It seemed she saw it as more like an endearing quirk rather than an obstacle to overcome or "something to get used to." When she looked at him she didn't see an outsider, she saw a man.

He wished then that he could give her everything she wanted. He wished that he could give her a normal life. Perhaps he had built up enough karma to deserve someone like her. Maybe it was all in the Universe's grand and mysterious design. But for whatever reason he was given this chance, the Universe would not go unthanked. He had only met a few people with her capacity for love and acceptance and she was opening up a world full of those people to him. She was astounding in everything she did, flaws and all. Even at his lowest point, she was there for him.

After the Train Station

Two weeks, 1 day, and 5 hours. That's how long it had been since he had last seen her. Two weeks, 1 day, and 5 hours since she comforted him after the horror he had done. He didn't even know if she would want to see him after what he did. He wouldn't blame her. She had stood there stroking his hair, insisting that there was nothing he could have done. Zod would never stop, she had said, you saved the world. A part of him knew she was right. Zod gave him no other recourse, but in that heart wrenching moment when he crossed that line, he vowed never to cross it again. He couldn't; he wouldn't be that monster.

But no matter how understanding Lois had been, in his shame he had remained distant from her. He busied himself with cleaning up the city and fixing his mother's house; telling himself that was the only reason he hadn't called or contacted her in any way. Justifying it more legitimately with the looming threat of military surveillance, he thought he was doing the right thing. The military, he was worried, was watching her.

Before, they had sent drones to discover his home. He fixed that. But despite his conversation with General Swanwick, Clark doubted the United States government would trust him so easily. He figured that they would want to learn his identity at any cost. Although he couldn't blame them, it was distressing. And it angered him that they might involve Lois again. She wasn't his only concern, however.

The fact that Zod attacked Smallville had placed the sleepy town under suspicion and under the microscope of the FBI, CIA, and other government agencies he didn't even know existed. When he learned of the government officials canvassing the place he had been concerned at first, until they didn't find anything. And not for lack of trying. The agents questioned everyone (including his mother) and the town remained silent. No one told about the flying man who looked uncannily like a once local boy, or about the mysteries that had always surrounded that boy. It seemed that Smallville had circled their wagons around Clark without him even asking. And it wasn't just that. No resident of Smallville blinked at the overnight reconstruction of the damaged town. Nor did they opine on the suddenly new roof of the Kent homestead. When Clark passed them on the street to get groceries for his Mom or stopped to get some gas, people would tip their hats and smile, some of them even shook his hand. Of course there was still staring, but that was expected considering everything that had happened. He did crash through the town wearing a red and blue skin-tight suit and cape. While flying. Even with their knowledge of his strangeness, they were probably taken aback by that. And there were other obvious things that justified a few sidelong glances. Still their behavior caused a strange ambivalence. His whole life that town had suspected him and shunned him as an outcast; only accepting his presence because of the general respect for the Kent family. And now they wanted to protect him. He was both bewildered by the sudden change of heart and extremely grateful.

Regardless of their sudden acceptance of Clark, he knew the military and the government wouldn't stop in Smallville. Especially when they already knew someone who was privy to his secret. Lois was...he wanted to be with her. He was a danger to her, he knew. But he had to see her and to comfort himself he had scanned the entire apartment building to be sure there was no surveillance equipment, which was surprisingly absent. He was relieved, but suspicious. Perhaps General Swanwick had convinced his superiors to leave him alone. Or maybe they just hadn't acted on their concerns yet.

But risk or no, he wanted to see her. Needed to, really. Like the force that tried to swallow him into the Phantom Zone, but stronger and something to which he would willingly surrender, there was a pull between them that he couldn't quite explain. He knew that love in fairy tales wasn't real. That true love was a small hot flame carefully tended over a long time, but this feeling was too real to be just friendship. This gravitational power between them was unbelievable. With her, it was almost like destiny. And the tether tying them together wouldn't allow him to stray for long.

So there he was, wearing a baseball cap and loose clothes, standing outside her apartment door drumming up the courage to knock. For God's sake, he was Superman! He could take on an alien military force under apocalyptic duress, but he couldn't knock on a door? Clark shook his head to clear it. Nerves were not his thing. But Lois made him do all sorts of crazy things like thinking about moving in together, marrying her, and having lots of curly-haired, green-eyed children with her. But he was getting ahead of himself. He shook his head again. If he really wanted that, small steps should be taken. Like knocking on her door.

Hesitating only slightly, he knocked once. There was a beat. Nothing happened. He knocked again, this time a little harder. Again nothing happened. Feeling a little defeated, he sighed. Maybe she saw him through the peephole and decided to pretend she wasn't home.

"Clark?" a wonderfully familiar voice asked.

He turned just in time to see her running to him, groceries forgotten on the floor. She kissed him then with longing and something that felt a lot like love. Maybe she felt that pull too. Lifting her off the ground, he deepened the kiss. For a moment they were the only two people in the whole world. The happiness bubbled inside of him. So much so he felt his feet leave the floor. But reality knocked from the cool side of his brain reminding him they were in the hallway of her apartment building and he was hovering about a foot of the ground. He landed, laughing awkwardly and placed her down gently. They separated, collected her discarded food, and went into her apartment. When they got inside, they just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before they embraced again though with less urgency this time.

"I missed you Lois," he said into her hair. "I'm sorry that I didn't call-"

His apology was cut off by her lips this time savoring his taste.

"I know," she said. "But you've been everywhere you needed to be."

"Not everywhere," he said softly as he caressed her face. After so long, now that he was with her, the need to touch her was overwhelming and thank God for his eidetic memory, because he wanted to memorize everything about her; this woman who stood by and helped him save the world and himself. She smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes," he rumbled his thoughts meandering to a warmer place in his brain.

Her smile grew wicked. "I meant for food, but we could always eat after."

How he wanted to just rip the clothes off her body, but the cool part of his brain said that they should talk, they shouldn't rush things. Really we just met, it said. He sighed internally. That cool part was right.

"No, you're right. Besides we should talk," he said putting her at arm's length. If he was going to focus, he couldn't be touching her.

Her brows knit together. "Is this a good talk?"

"I don't know, but it's one we need to have." He looked around uncomfortably. She leaned against the counter waiting for him to start.

"Lois, I've missed you the past few weeks...," he began, but thought that 'missed' wasn't the right word. It was stronger and scarier than that. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you." His voice was stilted as if he was struggling to hold himself back.

"Clark, I want the same thing," Lois responded passionately. Clark's heart soared, it was everything that he wanted, but he was afraid then about what he had to say next.

"You have no idea what that means to me, but Lois, I don't know if this can happen."

Her eyes filled with confusion and hurt. "What?"

"I'm a burden and a threat. If we're together, your life will never be normal." He tried to sound resolute.

"Normal is overrated," she countered.

"Your life and privacy would be in jeopardy."

"I'm Lois Lane. My privacy doesn't exist. Besides everyone knows I was there during the invasion." She shrugged.

"I already put you in enough trouble. I won't allow you to be placed in any more danger."

She crossed the expanse between them and kissed him with all her passion on display. Clark was taken aback, but gladly accepted this contact. Despite his insistence they remain apart, he would be lying if he said this wasn't the desired outcome. The idea of Lois not being a constant in his life made his heart feel like it was in a vice. He felt weak. He needed her, but it was because he needed her, because he- it was way too early for that word, but it was true—he loved her, that he knew they couldn't be together. If anything happened to her, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. But regardless of his protests, the hopeful part of his heart warred with him. The kissing really didn't help his resolve.

"Clark, I was in plenty of danger before you came around," Lois said breathlessly, their noses still touching.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he joked lamely nuzzling her nose with his. He swallowed deeply as he had a feeling what was coming.

"Clark, I want to be with you. When I'm with you, I feel-" Unable or unwilling to continue she kissed him again, though more softly. "I can't not have you in my life. Please don't think that I don't know what I'm getting into. I know it's going to be hard sometimes, but this-" she gestured between the two of them, "is rare and real and it's worth it."

"What if I can't give you everything you deserve?" he asked with vulnerable eyes piercing hers.

It was one of those moments where he remembered what he was. Although he was finally at peace with his heritage there were times when he would think that he may never be completely a part of this world. And that he wouldn't share in the things so many people took for granted. A relationship, a job, a legacy. He hadn't enough time to ask his father before the command key was destroyed, but Clark had always wondered if he could have children. She looked at him knowingly.

"Why don't I decide what I deserve?"

"Lois-" She interrupted him again with a hard kiss to his mouth. "Stop fighting us, Clark."

This time he was the one who kissed her.

He kissed her eyes and her mouth, until he moved down to the soft flesh of her neck, his hands gliding up her waist until he dared touch the underside of her breasts with his thumbs. He felt her pull away and begin to tug him. Delirious, he obliged. Before he knew it, she had led them into her bedroom. Before crossing the threshold, he looked into her eyes to ask her one more time if she was sure. She took his hand and placed it over her heart, then did the same with her hand over his heart, then kissed him, not with fiery passion, but with deep affection.

6 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day since he knew he loved her. 6 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day since he decided that no matter how long or how difficult it would be, he would show her how grateful he was for her. No matter what happened, he would remind her everyday how he felt about her.