Okay, the reason Lauren is in it is becuase I think Joseph would have had a life before Clarisse and I don't plan to get rid of her anytime soon ;)

20/3/72

I passed the security test with flying colours and am now 20,000 feet up in the sky on my way to Spain. Lauren is sort of upset that I have to go, but she knows it's for the best. "Career over love" is her motto, which is silly, but if it makes her not miss me as much, I'm fine with it. I hit a home run with her the other night…and the night after that…and oh, the night after that aswell. I'm not too comfortable with the fact that she likes to snuggle afterwards, but I can deal with it.

Before I left, I somehow found myself listening to the king and queen arguing again when I was walking past the dining room window. It appeared as if she still hadn't forgiven him for whatever he said the other night.

"Clarisse, please. I was drunk, it kind of just slipped out."

"You weren't drunk. I've been married to you long enough to know when you're drunk."

"Excuse me? Did you see me drinking?"

"No."

"Of course not, you were too busy staring at Baxter!"

"I…I was not!"

"Admit it, you fancy him."

"No…I…I do not fancy him!"

"Well you don't fancy me."

"Alright, I think he's good looking, so what? I've seen you ogling other women, why shouldn't I look at other men?"

"Wait a minute, what were we talking about before? Oh yes, I was drunk and you know it!"

"Oooooh!"

I decided to walk away at that point, because I saw somebody coming and didn't want them to think I was spying.

I am really starting to wonder what he said at the party…

22/3/72

I am so exhausted. For the past 2 days, we've done nothing but obstacle courses and making sure nobody assassinates the watermelons we've been guarding as if they were real people. It's hard work. I wonder if being a real guard is this hard. We have a drill sergeant called Miss. Lowell who is making us write up our Journals to pass time. I think she fancies me a fair bit because instead of making me do push ups with the rest of the guys, she asks me to play tennis with her. She's not really my type of woman, but then again, what type is? Miss. Lowell (Sandy) is sort of chubby and looks as if she belongs in the army. She's quite nice, but sometimes when she's yelling at everyone she can be really scary. Oh goodie, the bell just rang. That means dinner time!

23/3/72

I'm on my way home now (already). The course was so exhausting and I can't wait to get a decent night's sleep. I've been given my certificate in security and I plan to hang it up on my bedroom wall for all to see...ok, not that many people will end up seeing it but that's beside the point. I'm looking forward to seeing her majes…I mean Lauren. I haven't been able to hold her for three days and I'm already starting to feel lonely. Flying is so boring, especially when the flight attendants are all men! Luckily Genovia is only half an hour away from Spain, so we should be landing soon.

Later…

Lauren was happy to see me; she greeted me as I got off the plane. I hugged and kissed her then we walked to the GT (Genovian Taxi).

When we got home, we had a bath together and I told her about the trip. She said she missed me while I was gone and I said the same to her. Truth be told, I was too exhausted to miss her - ha!

So after our bath, we went to bed.

I start my new job the day after tomorrow. My duties include walking around the grounds, making safety checks and keeping an eye out for intruders. It sounds fairly easy. Anyway, I only got up to get a glass of water. Time to go back to sleep now.

25/3/72

I made the most of my day off today. I decided to sleep in until 12, then I got up and went for a walk, had a light workout at the gym and spent some quality time with Lauren. She told me all about what she did while I was away – wild parties, unprotected sex with countless men, drinking all day every day…actually that's just a lie. She said she spent most of her time working in the kitchens and cleaning out her room. She also went out with the girls every night for drinks down at the girls club. She said it took her mind off my being away.

I ran into Dale today. He tried to take another swing at me again (what a dickhead). I learnt all about handling trouble makers like him at the training course. I simply said to him, "Do you work for a wage?"

And he said yes, then I said, "Then piss off and earn it or you'll walk away with a shoe logged up your backside!"

I could tell he was angry, because he stormed off without saying goodbye.

27/3/72

I think the king and queen are still fighting. I was walking past the door to their suite at 10pm and heard the queen screaming. She wasn't screaming words, she was just screaming...very loudly. The guards outside the door had smirks on their faces. I asked them what was going on and they said it was none of my concern. I then asked them if we should go and see if something was the matter and one of them said, "I don't think they want to be disturbed, if you know what I mean."

Strangely I didn't and still don't, but since it was none of my concern as he said, I just left it at that.

Apart from that, my first day was exciting. I find starting any new job exciting, especially one where you get to move around and do things instead of just standing in the one spot all day doing the same thing over and over.

31/3/72

Okay, something strange is happening. The queen has actually been remembering my name. It started the other day, I was going about my daily stroll checking to see that everything was in order and I came across her sitting on the bench in the gazebo. I was going to ignore her, because that's what she usually does to me, but she said, "Good morning, Joseph."

I froze and turned to her, "Good morning, Your Majesty."

And ever since then, she's been saying, "Hello Joseph," whenever she sees me. I tell you, it's a strange turn of events…I wonder what the deal is?