Chapter 35

"So Malcolm would have had his way?" Robbie regretted the question the minute the words left his mouth."

He was just about to apologize when Laura laughed. He tensed trying to determine if her laughter was genuine or just a reaction to his insensitivity, "I don't know if it's just because it's been so long but I don't think I've ever looked at it that way."

He met her eyes and could see the laughter was genuine, "Laura, I shouldn't have said it."

She pushed up and captured his lips, effectively silencing him. His arms tightened around her, he didn't know what had prompted the kiss but he wasn't going to push her away. When they came up for air she smiled at him, "It's OK Robbie. One reason I never tell people is because of the sympathy. Sometimes it's overwhelming. A part of me will always miss her but finding something to laugh about somehow brings her closer. Thank you."

"What was her name?"

"Lily, Lily Margaret."

"I know Margaret is your middle name, where did the Lily come from?"

She smiled at him, "It was my grandmother's name."

"It's a beautiful name. Is there a grave somewhere?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Will you take me someday?"

She nodded, "Are you sure?"

"Laura, everything, remember." She nodded tears filling her eyes, "Thank you for sharing."

"I think it's the most I have talked about her in probably 20 years."

He stroked her hair back from her forehead before kissing her gently, "I'm always here to listen." She nodded as she curled into his chest. He held her, letting her relax into him. He didn't want to ruin the peace of the moment but he had to, "Laura, are we OK?"

She nodded, "We will be." He held her to him saying a silent thanks. "Robbie, why did you leave?"

"I don't know Laura. I knew pretty quickly that it was a mistake."

She sat looking at him curiously, "Then why didn't you come back."

"Because I was scared. I was scared you would tell me to leave, that you wouldn't want me anymore. That somehow I had finally proven myself unworthy of you."

"So you just stayed away?"

He looked down sheepishly, "I was kind of hoping if I gave you enough space you would forgive me."

"Or I could work myself into a frothy fit of anger?"

He laughed, "Well I didn't think about that possibility until I talked with Jean."

"You talked with Jean too."

He stretched out on the bed looking up at her, "After you did apparently. She pointed out that I was being foolish. I am ashamed." He sat, sitting so they were eye to eye, "I need you to know that I loved you for far longer than I ever let on. I know how much I hurt you all of those years and, if you'll let me I plan on spending the rest of my life making it up to you."

She cupped his cheek then kissed him tenderly, "Truthfully, I forgave you the minute you walked into the house." He raised an eyebrow, silently questioning her earlier tirade, "Forgiving you and needing you to know how I feel are two different things. You hurt me Robbie. I understand how you feel but you hurt me."

He nodded, understanding her distinction, "I love you Laura; I know they may seem like meaningless words but it's all I have."

She pressed her forehead to his, "It's enough Robbie. It always has been."

"Dr. Hobson, could I talk you into a spot of dinner?"

She kissed him lightly, "I thought you'd never ask."