Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Edited by Sjdavis84 and StillDreaming85.
WARNING: This story contains mature themes and is intended for mature readers.
ISABELLA SWAN.
"Do you see that, little lamb," Anthony said, pointing to the large gathering of people standing around a white coffin.
"Whose funeral is this?" I asked, almost afraid of his answer.
"Yours," he replied, keeping his eyes on me.
"WHAT!" I yelled. My funeral? But I wasn't dead.
"Don't yell at me," he said, gripping onto my thigh to the point of pain. But pain was something I had become accustomed to, and Anthony's grip was almost invisible.
"I'm not dead, Anthony."
"No, you're not, but they think you are." He shrugged.
I tried to calm myself, to steady my breathing. I didn't want nor could I have a panic attack, not now, not here.
"Who's in the coffin?" I asked.
My face was almost pressed up against the window of the car, trying to make sense, trying to see if he was bluffing, to see if there was anyone there I recognized.
My ballet teacher was standing there with flowers in his hands. I spotted Charlotte. There were a few people I recognized, people that my parents worked with, my mom's colleagues, the NYPD. And then I saw them. As the crowd of people moved around, they came into sight. My mom and dad.
Dad on his knees with his hand on the coffin, and mom was being comforted by someone.
"What the hell have you done?" I yelled, trying the door handle and the window, but nothing would open.
"Do you see that, little lamb. No one is going to come look for you anymore," he said, with raw bitterness. "Drive." He ordered.
I slumped back in the seat staring aimlessly ahead.
No one will ever come and look for me. I was dead, dead to the world and dead inside. I had nothing left to live for, no hope of freedom, nothing, it was all gone. I closed my eyes and slipped away slowly into a darkness that I never wanted to leave.
I welcomed the darkness, welcomed it like a cold embrace. The dark place, it was inviting, it welcomed me in. It offered me what I wanted, hope, love, freedom. In this darkness I was free. In this darkness, I didn't feel a thing.
"It was not me who planned this, little lamb. It was your fiancè. He said it was all for the best. Don't you agree, little lamb?" Anthony said. His voice was proud and triumphant and almost cocky at what he had just told me.
Edward had set this up. Edward had been the mastermind behind the plan. He had set up my so called death.
I knew Edward was not the good brother, far from it. I think between the two, I hated Edward the most because he was the one that made me feel things I knew were wrong, he was the perfect demon.
Edward was nothing but a demon with a beautiful face who spoke sweet words, but behind that mask laid a monster greater than the devil.
Anthony was upfront. Anthony never pretended to be perfect. Anthony never hid his hate; he never hid his true self.
My heart wept for my mother, what she must be thinking, feeling. She was a gentle soul, a kind and loving person. This would be killing her, tearing her apart. I hope that she never finds out the truth. I hope she can move on. I hope she can survive this and find some happiness through the pain.
My father...I had loved him so much. I had always looked up to him, and now, I realize I was looking up to a liar, a man who not only deceived his own family and brought them pain, but someone else's family as well. But, I hope that after all of this, he too can find some happiness. Regardless of what he had done, he was still my father and I would always love him.
"Stop crying," Anthony said. "You have no reason to cry. If your father loved you one bit, he would not have done the things that he had done, he would not have risked his family. Look where you are, little lamb. Your father's decisions, his poor choices put you here. Don't cry because you will never see that animal again. He's not worth your tears."
~DINY ~
I became a zombie, a robot, not even James's return brought me any happiness. Everything was too much and my mind didn't know how to cope with it all.
I could deal with almost everything they threw at me before. The mental torture, the mind games, Anthony's physical abuse, even the almost rape, because I knew that no matter what, I had to survive because someone out there was looking for me.
But now, now I was dead. No one would come, no one would look for me again. I was trapped in this world, trapped between two brothers, trapped in hell until the day I died.
"Hey, I thought you would be happy to see me again," James said, sitting beside me.
"I am happy that you're back," I said, offering him a weak smile.
"I'm sorry for what happened when I was away. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you."
"It's not your fault, you have nothing to be sorry for," I said.
"No, but I feel responsible for your safety," he said, putting his arm around me, I leaned into him and rest my head on his shoulder.
"Garrett helped. He took care of me," I said.
"I told you he was a good guy."
We sat like this in a comfortable silence. I missed James, it was good to have him back. It was nice to be around one person who seemed to genuinely care about me. James made me feel almost normal, but James couldn't help me forget. I was dead to the world.
"James, who was in that coffin?" I asked.
"That's nothing for you to worry about," he said, uncomfortably.
"I have a right to know, don't you think? I have a right to know who they killed for me."
"I don't know, Isabella. That's not the sort of information that's shared," he said.
At the mention of my name, it was as if something had snapped in me. I shot up off of the couch, putting some distance between us.
"Isabella," he called me.
"Stop it," I yelled. "Don't call me that. Isabella is dead."
I stood by the large window, staring down at the city below, the people passing by, the cars stuck in the midday traffic, the rain as it fell. From here, there was a clear view of Central Park. It was spring now, everything was once again green, but it might as well have been gray.
Who would have thought, that this would be the thing to break me, a name, a damn name.
Isabella!
There was no Isabella anymore, she didn't exist. She was lowered into the ground days ago. She was dead and so was I.
"Hey, come here," James said. I ignored his voice, I drowned out all the sound around me and continued to look out the window aimlessly. I didn't know who I was. I had no identity. I had nothing and was no one. Anthony did say he would break me, but I never thought it would be mentally. Funny enough, it was his brother who had created this whole mess. They used me for revenge, used me to play their game and now...I had nothing left to lose.
"Isabella, please don't do this," James said, he put his hand on my shoulder dragging me out of my daze.
"I am not Isabella," I shouted, pushing his hand away.
"Stop this now," Edward said.
The brother's stood at the entrance of the room. Edward looked his regretful self, while Anthony stood with his hands in his pockets not seeming fazed by anything.
"Stop what? What's there to stop?" I challenged. What was the point in keeping quiet? What was the point in listening to him when I had nothing left to lose.
"James, leave now," Anthony said. Although James seemed reluctant to leave, he didn't take his eyes off of me, but I didn't look away from Anthony. "NOW, James," he demanded. James sighed, he left the three of us here and took his leave.
"What's the matter Anthony, don't want any witnesses around? You can't hit me with an audience? That's never stopped you before," I said.
"Where the hell is that attitude coming from?" Anthony chuckled.
"Attitude? You think that's what this is?" I laughed out loud, I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. The two of them looked at each other with concern. They couldn't be concerned about me, they didn't care about me at all, nobody cared about me anymore.
"Isabella," Edward said, taking a step forward, I took one step forward as well.
"I am not Isabella," I said again. "Isabella is dead, lying in a coffin where you put her."
"I'm sorry, dolcezza, but please calm down," Edward said. The calm brother, the voice of reason, the monster, spoke. Calm down. I was calm, and I surprised myself that I hadn't had an attack over this yet.
"I hate you the most," I said, staring him in the eyes. An unreadable emotion flashed across his face, he looked almost pained by my words. Good, I thought. He deserved to feel my pain, he deserved to hurt right along with me.
I left them there and went back to the window. I didn't care what they did to me anymore. No physical pain could hurt as much as the physiological one.
I heard the footsteps behind me, not one set but two. One brother stood on either side of me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow, waiting for the pain to come, but after moments of waiting, there was nothing .
It wasn't Edward's chest my face was pressed against, but his brother's. He held me close to him, his arms around me were tight, yet gentle. It was something I wasn't used to getting from Anthony, but I wasn't stupid to think it would last, nevertheless, I relaxed into him and let him do whatever it was he was doing to me, because I didn't care anymore.
Edward stood behind me stroking my hair, he leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly and sighed.
It was what I did next that shocked the hell out of all three of us. I looked up at Anthony, cupping his face in my hands, I kissed him. It wasn't anything soft or gentle, I attacked him, but he responded with as much force as me.
Behind us, I heard Edward let out a feral sound, something that I can only describe as animalistic. He pressed himself into my back, his hand sneaking around my waist, and then I was turned around from Anthony's arms, facing Edward, he pushed the hair off of my shoulder and buried his head there, attacking my neck with open mouthed kisses.
"We shouldn't…" Anthony said, but before he could protest, I kissed him again.
I don't know what came over me, what was wrong with me that I was allowing this to happen. There was a part of me that wanted this, even though I knew how wrong it was, I was powerless to stop it because the feeling was too strong. They both wanted this, they both wanted me. They played me and now I would play them. Maybe I can put it down to stockholm syndrome, possibly, or maybe it was because for a brief moment I was lost in another place. I forgot about the pain and anguish. I closed my eyes and forgot who I was with. It was easy to pretend, almost too easy.
"Stop," Edward said. "No." He pulled me away and out of his brother's arms. "She's my wife. Don't even think about it," he warned.
"I shared mine," Anthony said, smirking back at his brother. Edward looked ready to kill.
"She's not Kate, and I am not you," Edward said, sternly. "Get out. Get the fuck out."
"Right, because you're the good guy, you're the one that swarms in to save the day," Anthony mocked.
"OUT," Edward shouted, making me jump.
"I'm going," Anthony said, holding up his hands in surrender. "But just remember this brother, she kissed me."
I stood frozen in my place. The realization of what I had done finally hit me. I had kissed Anthony, no, I had attacked Anthony. I was no better than a whore...The whore that Anthony promised to make me into. I closed my eyes and felt my body begin to tremble. I fell to my knees with a painful thud, rocking back and forth. What had I done? What have I become? Who was I? I was nobody. Isabella would have never done that, but I wasn't Isabella anymore was I?
I lost track of time and things became blurry. My mind wandered off. Everything that had happened these past months flashing before my eyes, memory after memory that were embedded in my mind. I must have fallen asleep at some point. When I woke up, it was dark outside, and I was in bed beside Edward. He was laying on his side, one of his hands draped over my torso.
I removed his hand as gently as I could. I made it halfway to the living room when I noticed Garrett and James sitting on the couch. I didn't want to go in there, I didn't want to face them.
At the end of the hall were doors that lead out onto a large balcony. I tried the doors, but of course they were locked. Turning back around, I contemplated going back into the bedroom, but there was a dim light coming from one of the bedrooms that caught my eye.
Anthony sat at the end of his bed. He held his arm up in the air, watching the blood as it slowly ran down his arm.
My sudden gasp caused his head to snap up and he came out of whatever trance he was in.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, my voice shaking.
He smiled at me with a smile so beautiful and angelic smile, it didn't suit him..
"Spying on me, little lamb," he said in that deadly tone, that tone that I had become so accustomed to, that tone that meant I was in trouble and there would be hell to pay.
"Come here."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. My whole body was trembling as I made my way to him. Why did I come here? Why didn't I go back to bed? But why was he here, bleeding on the floor? His brother had told him to leave, I saw him leave. When did he get back? Why did he come back?
As I neared him, I noticed the scattered packet of white powder on his left and a broken whiskey bottle on his right. I guess that's what he had to have cut himself with.
"You are supposed to be in bed with my brother," he said, grabbing me with that bloodied hand and pulling down on the floor with him.
"You're not supposed to be here," I said.
"I can't seem to stay away," he said, running the back of his fingers under my chin.
"Why?" I asked, confused by this side of him.
"Because you're here," he said. Putting his bloodied arm on the back of my neck, he pushed me forward until our lips met.
I tried pushing him away. He didn't put up much of a fight, he was clearly drunk and high.
I stood up, ready to walk out and leave him here to drown in his own blood, and booze. But…
"Don't leave me here," he said, weakly.