16/1/85

Well, here we are on the jet on our way to America. Philippe is very excited but also very bored because he is unable to occupy himself on airplanes. I can prevent my boredom by simply thinking of his mother or writing my journal, which is what I'm doing now (obviously). Philippe and I had an interesting conversation earlier. It went something like:

"Joseph?"

"Yes, your highness?"

"If you ever had a child, what would you name it?"

"A boy or a girl, sir?"

"Either one."

"Well, if it were a boy, I'd call it Blake and if it were a girl, then Amelia."

"Mother likes that name too, it's what she was going to call her baby before it died."

"I know."

"Of course you do."

I raised my eyebrows and decided to take the time to get to know him, "If you don't mind my asking, how did you and your wife meet?"

"Well, we were both in the same art class. I'm not much of a good painter, but I wanted to give it a try to see if I was any good. Anyway, I saw her sitting across the room at her easel with a brush in her hand gently stroking the canvas as if she were a natural. I waited for her after class and asked her if she'd have a drink with me, she said yes and we went down to the local coffee shop. We got to talking and found out that we didn't have anything at all in common. We built a relationship from scratch and I eventually proposed to her, she accepted and we were married within two weeks. A couple of months later she informed me that she was having my child. Problem is she doesn't want this lifestyle and I don't want to give her up. I am so..."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"I talk with your mother a lot."

"Ah."

"So have you decided what you're going to do?"

"Not yet. I keep asking myself WWJD?"

"Pardon?"

"What Would Joseph Do?"

"Oh!" I laughed, "Well if I were in your position, I would follow my heart. I wouldn't want to let the love of my life slip away."

"But what if mother doesn't approve? She says I should stay true to my country just like she did."

"It doesn't really matter, does it? If you do decide to live with this woman in America, it wouldn't really affect your country because your brother is first in line to ascend the throne."

"Joseph, my brother doesn't want to be king, he told me. He's going to abdicate at the end of the week and join the church. Please don't tell anyone I told you because I'm the only one who knows."

"You're secret is safe with me."

"Mother would go bananas if she found out."

"I can imagine. Your mother doesn't think with her heart, she feels her head thinks much more logically."

"Mmm…I just wish she'd give Helen a chance! She hasn't even met her, yet she already disapproves."

"I'm sure she'll come around."

He sighed and stared out the window while I went back to writing my journal. He seems very upset about the whole thing and there's nothing I can do to help. He's been staring out that window for hours just looking down at the clouds. I feel so sorry for the boy; I know what it's like to be heart-broken.

17/1/85

Clarisse can be so utterly stubborn sometimes. She met with Philippe's wife today, took one look at her out of control curly hair and paint-stained clothes and immediately turned her nose up at her. She didn't even say hello to the woman who was carrying her first grandchild, she just looked at her and told Philippe to get in the car and leave. He told her that he was going to stay with her for the night and she just walked right out the door, with me chasing after her.

I grabbed her arm and said, "Couldn't you at least try to get along with the woman? She's carrying your grandchild!"

"She is not an appropriate choice for a royal consort."

"It doesn't matter! Clarisse, just because you were raised to honour your country, it doesn't mean that you have to force your son to give up the only woman he loves."

"How dare you talk to me about my upbringing, it's none of your business."

"No, but I have to watch your son suffer because of it."

"My son has nothing to do with you!"

"Keep acting this way and neither will you."

She frowned at me for a moment and walked back into the apartment, I followed.

"Helen? I'm sorry about before, my name's Clarisse and I've noticed that you seem to have taken an interest in my son."

"I'm married to your son."

"So I hear. How far along are you?"

"Four months, you?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"Oh really? I could have sworn…"

She slapped her across the face and stormed out again. I apologized for her behaviour and ran after her.

"That wasn't very nice!"

"She wasn't very nice! I tried to make an effort like you said and she just threw it back at me!"

"Okay, maybe what she said was a bit out of line, but…"

"I hate her! She is nowhere near good enough for my son. Go in there and get him, we're leaving."

"Clarisse, no! You are being completely irrational. Don't you know what it's like to be in love? I'm sure if you did know, you wouldn't be acting like this. You're son is in love and you can either respect that or lose him for good."

She hopped into the limo and told me to get in or I'd be out of a job, naturally I did as she said and we drove back to the consulate.

18/1/85

Today Clarisse asked me to come to the garden for tea and a chat because according to her there is nothing interesting to do at the consulate. She started talking about this problem with Philippe and how he called last night and tried reasoning with her. To me, it sounded as if she disowned him and that he was very upset with her. She brushed it off as something of unimportance.

"Do you know what that son of mine said? He said that his brother doesn't want to be king and that he's going to join the church! That's preposterous, Pierre will be king and that's all there is to it!"

"Have you actually talked to Pierre about it?"

"Why no, but…"

"Clarisse, I think you should."

"Why…? It's true isn't it? Oh gosh, that makes matters worse."

"Do you see now why you need to make things work?"

"You knew?"

"Yes, I…"

"You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"I was sworn to secrecy. Look, will you just talk to your son and come to some sort of compromise?"

"Oh…alright, I'll talk to him tonight."

19/1/85

She came into my room last night for the first time in 13 years, only it wasn't my room; it was the one I was staying in at the consulate.

She came at about midnight and hopped under the covers, thinking I was asleep. I pretended to roll over and put my arm across her. I heard her let out a small giggle and she pulled my arm around her neck. She kissed me and then turned away. A couple of moments later, I quickly squeezed her and said, "Boo!"

She jumped up and put her hand on her chest, "God Joseph, you scared the sh…heck out of me!"

"Are you here for business or pleasure?"

She slapped my arm, "I don't know."

"Let me make it easier for you…are you here for this," I said holding up an untitled document, "Or this…"

I kissed her shoulder and she let out a deep sigh, "I don't think I should be in here for either…I just wanted to talk to you about Philippe. We had dinner together just before and talked about the situation we're in…I told him that if he didn't assume the throne I would disown him, which was terrible of me to say and I didn't mean it, it just slipped out. I was upset and angry because I really don't like this woman."

"Well at least you tried to make an effort."

"I don't want to lose him, Joseph."

"I know."

I held her in my arms and massaged her back. She fell asleep after about 10 minutes, so I lay her down and pulled the covers over her. I then kissed her forehead and went to sleep myself.

For once, she didn't wake up before me, I woke up at 3:52am and she was still there. I pressed my lips to hers and stroked her hair. I heard her mumbling to herself, it sounded like she was saying, "I'm not fat…"

I blew warm air onto her face and wrapped an arm around her hip, she was so warm and soft and I started to wish he moment would never end. Unfortunately for me though, the moment did end because at 3:59am she woke up and yawned. Upon seeing my face she sat up, slid out of the bed and walked to the door.

"Good morning, your majesty."

She yawned some more, "Joseph."

I watched the door open and she disappeared, that was a first; I woke up before she did!

Later on, Clarisse informed me that we are returning to Genovia the day after tomorrow because she hates America and wants to get as far away as possible. She also told me that if Philippe refuses the throne she will have to produce another heir, which I told her I totally object to because she is too old. Honestly, 49 is much too old to be having children, there are too many risks involved and I don't want to lose her.