A/N: Ha! No you get it now.

Kim sized up her opponent. Actually, sized up would be a bit misleading. She'd done that twice before their fight even began, and it was proceeding with enthusiasm. Eyeing up would be a more accurate term, actually. It was kinda creepy, truth be told.

Kim eyed up her opponent.

The woman was skilled, Kim had to give her that. She'd been in the villainous business since junior high, and had traded blows with more wannabes and rent-a-cops then she cared to remember. This one though. Green skin, unnaturally lustrous hair, and hands that were on fire aside, there was something off.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Kim asked, ducking back to avoid the fiery claws that raked at her face.

Shego paused, stunned momentarily at the question.

"My name's Shego." she declared, pausing as she waited for some sort of reaction. "I was once mastermind of the nefarious Team Go, and, uh, you'll learn to fear me you impetuous hero...I mean, villainous cur." This is harder than I thought.

"Hmm, new to the business?" Kim asked pleasantly, almost as if she hadn't just launched a kick at the woman that would take the heads off those with slower reaction times.

"A bit." Shego admitted, launching a volley of plasma bolts at the redheaded thief.

"You must not have been very good." Kim declared off-handedly, cartwheeling backward. "I don't think I've heard of you before."

Shego fumed. "We were the most feared group on the entire western coast!"

"Hmm." Kim hummed ponderously. "Nope; not ringing any bells. You've got some ego there, though."

"You'll eat those words, fool." Shego shook herself. "Gah! I mean, surrender now."

"Wow." Kim grinned. "You're pretty green, huh?"

The entire world stopped for a moment. For a few precious seconds, nobody moved. At all. On the entire planet.

"Boo." Ron groaned from across the warehouse where he held Drakken in a choke hold, the two of them half-heartedly wrestling while watching their respective teammates. "That was bad even by your standards, KP."

"Yuck." Rufus, who was nearby experimenting with Drakken's ray gun by shooting it into the ceiling, stuck out his tongue in agreement.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kim snapped. "I was busy fighting my future nemesis over here. And how witty was your villainous banter, Mr." She was cut off by a crushing roundhouse to the back of the head. She went flying through the air to land beside Rufus.

"Woah there, princess." Shego smirked at the sprawled villainess. "I haven't said anything about being nemesises. I'm way out of your league, kid."

This time, the entire universe just froze in place for about three seconds.

Kim was not a humble woman. She was, in fact, a little narcissistic. And greedy. And shameless. And a vain, somewhat shallow, anti-social, flirtatious, irreverent, deceitful, impolite, sneaky, adrenaline junkie, and in the interest of full disclosure, she was also probably autassassinophilic (don't look it up). Also, she was somewhat sociopathic. None of those things liked being called a kid, and only one of them was particularly crazy about being suckerkicked while her back was turned. Especially by a hero, and her future nemesis.

Something inside Kim snapped.

Ron gave a low whistle, shaking his head gravely. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shouldn't have done that."

"Oh yeah?" Shego laughed, "and what exactly are you going to do about it, blondie?"

"Not me." Ron shrugged, "You know what they say: Hell hath no fury..."

Shego's eyes moved back to what should have been the unconscious form of Kim Possible. She was staggering to her feet, a feral glint in her eyes.

"Rufus," she growled, holding out her hand. "gun."

Rufus quietly relenquished his newly acquired plaything.

Shego gulped as Kim spun the dial on the side of the device. It trembled and hummed with energy.

"CALL ME A KID AGAIN, I DARE YOU!"

Ron, Drakken, and Rufus were already halfway to the doors. Shego, unfortunately, did not move. She was dumbstruck. Not even Hego should've been able to withstand a kick like that. This stupor of hers meant that she was alone with a furious Kim, and no cover between them.

"Er..." Shego began nervously.

Kim opened fire.

Shego began running madly, jumping to either side when she heard the weapon discharge. She cursed her own inattentiveness. Drakken had described to her in great detail what each of that ray gun's settings did, but the fly buzzing on the wall behind him had been so much more interesting at the time. And her nails really had needed to be filed. Just a bit.

She felt her body go entirely rigid as a bolt struck her square in the back.

Paralysis! She thought triumphantly, That's what the maximum setting did.

Granted, it would've helped to know that just a wee bit sooner.

"Ha!" Kim shouted gleefully. "Now who's out of whose league?"

She sauntered up to Shego's prone form, tossing the now depleted gun aside as she did.

"Imma tear you apart." Shego tried, and failed to threaten menacingly.

Kim got a mischievous glint in her eye. "Promises, promises." She purred. Purred!

"Ar 'ou...flirtin' wif me?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?"

Shego was at a loss. She'd been flirted at before by foes, but those had been back when she was still a villain, and always from men. She'd just kicked them once or twice in very peculiar spots (the head, actually) until they stopped or ended up in a hospital. But this was different in so many ways. And she wasn't feeling the usual outrage at the prospect of being...courted. It was probably the paralysis gun. She decided, Yeah. No need to dwell on that any further.

"You kick like a mule," She began, kneeling before her helpless opponent, "and you're kind of an ass, but I suppose you'll do."

"Wha?" Shego slurred, her mouth about the only thing she still had control over.

"For a nemesis, of course!" She began rummaging through Shego's ankle pouch. "A nail file?" Kim exclaimed, surprised, as she withdrew her hand. "Mine now." She shrugged.

"Hey! Tha's mine." Shego numbly protested.

"Thief." Kim grinned broadly as she held the pilfered item in the palm of her open hand, closed it, and then opened it again. The file was gone. "Master thief."

She practically skipped away, humming merrily to herself.

"Tha's pointless!" Shego growled after her. "I hav' mor!"

"Not for long." Kim called back, giggling insufferably as she disappeared into the night.

It took over an hour for the paralysis to wear off, and almost as long to find Drakken again. He was hiding between the support beams under a nearby pier. Upon their return to Drakken's hideout, she wanted to return immediately to her room, but Drakken insisted she join in the briefing. Far from being displeased, Dr. Director had commend her ability to almost subdue the criminals there. It didn't make her feel any better. The absolute lowest part of her day came when she returned to her room just before midnight to find it unlocked. There was a note left on her dresser.

Hey hot stuff,

Kim, why would you even do that to her?

Thanks for not checking your pocket and finding the tracking device I left there. Your base is nice, but the security is terrible. Kinda boring, actually. So lets play a game! You can review the security footage, and for every time you catch me on it, I'll return one of your nail files.

Stay frosty - I mean it Kim, no more puns.

With less than pure intent,

Kim Possible

P.S. (I Can Steal Anything)

Finally, she had pressed her lips to the bottom of the page. It smelled like freshly minted bills.

Shego wasn't able to get any sleep that night.

A/N: SO BORED NOW.