4/7/85

I talked with Maddy yesterday and asked her about Clarisse. She said that what happened at her house was confidential, I questioned her about Clarisse's strange behaviour, but she wouldn't give me any straight answers. We went for a walk around the gardens and ended up at my bedroom door.

For once I didn't feel bad about sleeping with her because of course, Clarisse and I aren't acknowledging each other now. I saw her today, walked straight past her and not a word was said. Normally we would smile at each other or say hello, but not anymore. She's changed. Changed for good.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Helen had her baby on the sixth of June. I spent so much time waiting for Clarisse to come back that I must have forgotten to mention it. Apparently she had Her Royal Highness Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia on the plane on her way back to America – It must have been a real shock for the prince to return from the bathroom to find his wife in labour. Clarisse was upset because she didn't get to see her, I think she was expecting her to still be there when she got back from her mother's house.

I couldn't believe it when I was told what her name was – Amelia – the name I wanted to name my non-existent child.

10/7/85

Clarisse and I haven't spoken since our last encounter, I get the impression she's trying to avoid me for god knows what reason. I feel as if I just don't know her anymore, she's become distant and rude and nothing like the person she used to be. There's some sort of invisible ice-wall that surrounds her and makes her immune to expressing feelings or emotions. Apparently she's become a celibate – haha, Clarisse a celebate – I can't get over it. I mean, last month she was hornier than a rhinoceros and now she won't even touch her own husband, or anyone else for that matter. It's all about her image. What image? The Ice Queen with a heart of stone and a mind that knows not of other people's feelings? Some image…

21/7/85

Wow, some interesting news I found out today…I have a son! Who did I knock up, might you ask? Take a guess…you don't even need to guess, it was Lauren. Remember how I mentioned a child she had when she was 28? Well it turns out he was mine.

Lauren informed me that his adopted parents had been the victims of a car crash and that welfare suggested they find his biological parents, which wasn't too hard for them to do.

Lauren has agreed to quit her job and become a full-time mother, just think…in about 7 months she'll have two children to look after. She's moving into a quiet little cottage on the outskirts of town and is going to raise them there. I contemplated moving in with her so I could be near my son, but it took so long for me to rise to my current position as deputy head and I don't want to lose it, so I'll just be spending Sundays with them.

Samuel is his name. Samuel Damson. I don't particularly like the name, but it's too late to change it now. We're going down to meet him tomorrow morning; I'm looking forward to it, as is Lauren. Can you believe she lied to me all those years ago and told me I wasn't the father? I understand why, but I still would have liked to know.

I wonder what he looks like…I'm thinking brown hair and blue eyes.

Clarisse has to be the most boring person I know now, all she does is sit around all day looking beautiful. She gets up in the early hours of the morn, drinks tea for most of the day, reads books and visits the opera every now and then with the king. As it is my job to guard the queen, I am obligated to follow her everywhere and I get so bored just watching her sip her tea and flip through the pages of thick novels. My job has lost interest, but I can't leave it because it pays really well and I have to start paying maintenance to Lauren. I don't mind having to give her money each week; in fact it was my idea. I want to be a part of my son's life. Yay, I get to meet him tomorrow.

22/7/85

Brown hair and blue eyes doesn't even begin to describe my son. He's tall, slim, mysterious and likes to wear black. He reminds me of me.

We drove down today and picked him up. As soon as we were introduced I felt an immediate bond, he shook my hand and said, "Nice to meet you, sir."

Lauren bent down to his level and introduced herself as, "Mummy". He didn't really appreciate the remark because he needs time to get used to her before calling her mummy. Lauren said she rented a house last week, I wondered why she waited until the last minute to tell me.

I asked the king for permission to take the week off and he allowed it when I told him the reason why. He said something that I thought was interesting, "You may as well take the week off, I can imagine that watching my wife is not a very fulfilling job at the moment. Personally I liked it better when we used to fight, now she just agrees with everything I say. I'd give anything to get the old Clarisse back."

Funny, he has the same views about her as me.

Anyway, I'm staying with Lauren and Samuel in their house on the outskirts of town for the entire week. I'm going to spend quality time with my son and we're going to get to know each other. I have it all planned out, tomorrow we will play sports like baseball and kicking the soccer ball to each other, the day after that we'll visit the museum, the day after that we'll go to the theatre...so much I want to get through.

I'm having a hard time getting to sleep, as I always do when sleeping in a place I've never slept before. It's a three-bedroom house, so Lauren and I are sleeping in one room and Samuel is setting up his room in another. The third room will be for the baby when he or she comes along. It smells really nice here – much like Clarisse's hair…mmm…strawberries.

23/7/85

Sammy and I are getting along really well, he told me that his favourite colour is black, his favourite movie is "Psycho" (even though it's in black and white, he says), his favourite song is "Piano Man" and his favourite subject at school is science. Since we both feel uncomfortable about the idea of him calling me dad, I let him call me Joe instead.

25/7/85

I was sleeping quietly in Lauren's room last night when I heard the phone ringing. I picked it up and said very groggily, "Yeah?"

It was Paul, "Listen we have a situation here."

I wiped my eyes.

"The queen is no longer with us."

"Wha?"

"She's been kidnapped, Joseph."

My eyes widened, "Are you sure she's not just hiding?"

"Yes, we're sure."

"Did you check the lake? The gazebo? The tunnel under the library?"

"We checked everywhere."

"Oh god!"

"You're going to have to cut your holiday short, we need you here."

"I'm on my way."

I grabbed my gun, strapped it to my belt, kissed Lauren goodbye and took a quick look at my sleeping son.

It took me half an hour to get back to the palace. I arrived to find police cars all over the lawn and the guards huddled in a circle having a security meeting. I ran as quickly as I could to find Paul, he was in the king's office.

Allegedly, Clarisse disappeared early yesterday afternoon; she was spotted being dragged into a car by a man dressed entirely in black. I don't understand why nobody went up to see what was going on.

Anyway, there has been no word from the kidnapper yet, but we're ready to trace any calls. I'm worried about her, if I didn't take the week off it wouldn't have happened because I'd have been there to prevent it.

26/7/85

A note. There was a note.

I studied it carefully, 'Free the throne and your wife will be returned.'

It was meant for the king, he received it late last night, or rather it was thrown through his office window attached to a brick. Luckily he was out to dinner at the time.

I haven't had any sleep over the last two days – I've been so worried. I hope she's alright. We're doing our best to find her, but so far no luck. I have a gut feeling that the kidnapper delivered that note himself and that he'll deliver another when the time comes. I'm going to sit outside every night with Bertie (one of the horses) and wait to see if he strikes again. I plan to discretely follow him, as he will most likely return to the place he's holding Clarisse.

27/7/85

8pm: Currently waiting for kidnapper to arrive, so far not a sound has been heard, not a move has been made. Perhaps he isn't coming…

9pm: Still no sign of anybody entering the palace grounds.

10pm: Saw movement – bird in tree (kidnapper?)

11pm: I'm bored.

12am: I am so bored.

1am: He's not coming.

2am-6am: Oops, fell asleep – has he come yet?

7am: Bugger it, I'm going inside.

4pm: Time to watch for kidnapper again. I've picked up my son and he says he'll keep me company tonight and watch for the kidnapper as well. It should give us time to bond some more.

6pm: No sign of anything yet. Sammy started asking me questions before.

"Who kidnapped the queen?"

"I don't know."

"What are we looking out for?"

"Mysterious figures."

"What's that you're writing in?"

"My journal."

"Wow, can I read it?"

I laughed thinking about all the things in there I wouldn't want him to read, like my feelings for Clarisse, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because there are some things in it that I don't want you to know."

"Like what?"

"I said I don't want you to know."

"I keep a journal, too!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you're not allowed to read it!"

"Fair enough."

"Do you love mother?"

I paused and looked him in the eye, "No."

"Did you ever?"

"No."

"I see. Have you ever been in love?"

I raised a questioning eyebrow, "You could say that. Aren't you a little young to be asking about this kind of stuff?"

"No, I'm almost ten."

"Alright then."

7pm: Still no sign of anyone.

"Joe?"

"What is it?"

"What are we looking out for?"

"You already asked me that…mysterious figures."

"You mean like that one over there?"

"Yeah, sort of, except that's just a security guard."

"I didn't know they rode horses."

"They don't."

"But that one's riding a horse."

"Wait a minute, that's no security guard…"

Okay, I wasn't planning to bring Sammy in til later, but I want to hurry this story along a bit more because I'm losing interest and want tojump to the year 2000.

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