We're back from New York and I've set aside my NaNo story for a little while, so I'll be working on this and my other stories.

Chapter 40.

I fell asleep in my office but woke later, feeling famished. On my way out of the hospital, I stopped at the men's room to splash cold water on my face. I wasn't in the mood for a pub or restaurant, so I just picked up a pizza on my way home, deciding to forgo the six-pack of beer I usually got with it.

Once I'd entered my apartment, I collapsed on the couch with the pizza box and opened it. I had to admit, to myself at least, that this game with Jess couldn't go on.

After two slices of pizza, I was feeling a little better, and my mind was clearing. By the time I was half-way done with the third I'd come to a conclusion. Medicine wasn't the only way to have meaning in my life. I dropped the crust into the box and stood, still a little unsteady, I'll confess, grabbed my cane and my keys and headed back out.

I didn't even think about the fact that Jess might have gone out to eat. I walked through the motel lobby, acknowledging the nod from the desk clerk, and down the corridor to her room. I knocked twice and waited for her to open up.

I had to smile when I saw her, with her hair in a towel, turban-style, and her body encased in a wraparound terrycloth robe, horn-rimmed glasses perched on her cute little nose. Does anyone wear those things anymore? Well, I guess Jess did.

"I took a chance you were in."

"You could have called," she said, backing up a step to let me in.

"I guess you've eaten."

"I had a burger in the motel coffee shop." She was studying my face the way she'd done a few times that day. "I was just settling in for the night."

"Do I have pizza sauce on my mouth?" I asked, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.

She shook her head and smiled. "I'm just having a hard time figuring you out. So why are you here, House?"

Good question. Now that I was, I wasn't sure myself. "I guess I was feeling lonely." Once I said it, I knew it was true. But I'd never admitted that to anyone else in my life before!

"Where's Wilson? Or any of your team?"

"None of them look like you, not even Thirteen."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment." A smile crossed her lips, then she looked at what she was wearing, and removed the glasses. "Even now?"

"Sure." And then I didn't know what else to say.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked. "There's a little coffee machine in the bathroom, but unfortunately this room doesn't have a mini-fridge."

"I thought you might want to go get something, but since you've already eaten..."

"Let me get dressed and we can see what kind of desserts they have in the coffee shop."

I nodded. She rummaged in her suitcase and removed some clothes, then stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

I walked over to the window, but there was nothing outside to look at. Jess had left her suitcase open, so I took that as an invitation to snoop. It was full of clothes, some of which I'd seen on her recently, and believe me, they looked better on her than folding neatly away. Before I could look further, I heard the bathroom door opening, and moved quickly back to the window.

"Ready," she said. She'd put on a pair of black slacks and a red sweater, and looked better than any dessert we'd find, but I restrained myself. Maybe if I played my cards right. The only thing was, I wasn't even sure what game we were playing.

We walked down the corridor to the lobby and into the coffee shop. There weren't many people there at that late hour and the waiter told us to take any table we wanted, then brought us menus. I wasn't all that hungry any more, but I could always eat something. I ordered another roast beef sandwich and coffee, wondering if I was getting into a rut. Jess just wanted coffee, then decided she'd have a toasted English muffin with it.

"House, maybe we should just clear the air, say what we want to, and then put it aside."

I nodded. It was basically what I wanted, even though I didn't think it was actually possible, but there really was no alternative, not at this point. But I didn't know how to start.

Jess sensed my hesitation, and took the first step. "I find you very attractive," she said. "And I'm sensing a connection between us. I don't know what that connection is, or whether we should even pursue it, but I can't deny it. And then you say things like you did earlier today. "

I nodded again. "I've been trying to deny that connection but you're right. It's there."

"And if I'm going to continue to work on this project, we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"It's unavoidable."

"So, how will we be treating each other? As colleagues? I guess I can accept that. As friends? I certainly hope we are."

"Jess, I'm not good at relationships, even platonic ones, but..." I couldn't go on. My mouth was very dry and the words were stuck in my throat.

"We can always give it a try," she suggested.

"And when I mess up? When I start to push you away even harder than I did this afternoon?"

"Who says that it won't be me doing the pushing? But...House, I think it's worth any heartache in the future to see where this can go now." And then she clammed up, as if she thought she'd said too much.

The ball was in my court. I took a drink of my coffee and looked her in those amazing green eyes of hers, full of intelligence and humor. "OK," I managed to say. "Let's give it a shot."

She smiled and those eyes began to sparkle.

"Just as long as neither of us is counting on it lasting," I finally added.

"Right."

I suddenly felt a weight lift from my shoulders. That had to mean we were doing the right thing, didn't it?

And then she said, "I'm going back to Dorsey day after tomorrow," and the weight was back. "Just to get my things," she rushed to add. Had she seen something in my face? People didn't usually read me that well. "But I'll be back as soon as I can." She'd been holding on to her coffee cup but put it down on the saucer with a clatter. "I know it won't be easy for us, and that we won't work everything out tonight, but I'm willing to try if you are." She let out a breath, pressed her lips together and waited for me to speak.

I told myself it couldn't hurt to agree, but I was having a hard time getting the words out. I focused on Jess' face and that tipped the balance. "I'm willing." I said.

I hoped there'd be many more times I could make her grin the way she did then, because it was so beautiful and infectious. Yeah, just trying to make a go of it with Jess was going to be fun.