4/3/95

I got a call out of the blue from the palace today, they told me that Paul had taken a bullet for the king and died as a result of it. They then asked me if I wanted an invitation to his funeral, so I said yes and I'm now waiting for it to arrive in the mail. Apparently it is to take place next week.

7/3/95

I received the invitation today, it was so fancy and formal. I read the bottom line and froze, it said that since the king and queen will be in attendance, I must bring the invitation along with me as authorisation. The king and queen! That means Clarisse will be there! I'm not so sure I want to see her after all this time, I mean what if she's changed again? What if she pretends not to know who I am? What if she…doesn't even come across me? That would be both highly probable and convenient, which means I wouldn't have to see her. I hope I don't see her, I don't trust myself enough with her. You know I haven't actually thought about her for years? Well excluding the odd occasion when I'd seen her in the newspaper. Maybe I should talk to her though, find out why she never called when she promised she would. Oh bother, I'll just decide what I'll do on the day.

9/3/95

My little boy is getting married! He proposed to Catherine the other night at dinner and she accepted. I fear as to how it will turn out, they are awfully young and unsure of them selves…but who am I kidding? They're in love!

13/3/95

Paul's funeral was today.

He looked so frail and fragile in that coffin, like an old man who's just taken his last breath. I stared at him for quite a while, we hadn't spoken in years, but our friendship never diminished, unlike mine and somebody else's…

After the funeral we all went to the palace to eat. I walked along the buffet with my plate and reached for the pasta salad, that's when I spotted the huge diamond on her finger. She was reaching for the salad with her smooth hands and indescribable scented perfume. I didn't even have to look at her to know who she was. I cleared my throat, "Your Majesty…"

"Joseph…"

She gently took the spoon from my hand and scooped some salad onto my plate and then onto hers.

"Thankyou."

She was dressed in black, as was everybody else including myself, but there was something about her that I couldn't put my finger on until I noticed her waist. She'd put on weight. Of course, I didn't mention it to her, but I couldn't help but stare.

"You didn't call."

"I did, many times."

"No you didn't, I never got any messages from you when I got home from work."

"I know that, I never left one."

"My wife never mentioned you calling."

"That's because I never spoke."

I thought for a moment and realised something, "You're the prankster! You're the one who used to call and then hang up?"

"Can we talk about this in private?"

"Oh my god it's true. Why didn't you say anything?"

She put down her plate and dragged me out into the garden by my arm.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to have to speak to her."

"Why not? Were you jealous?"

"Certainly not! I just didn't know what to say to her! I couldn't just say something like, 'Hello, I'm ringing to see if your husband would like to go out to lunch with me'. Also I didn't want to sound too pushy."

"I wouldn't have minded."

"Well I would have! Anyway, a few years later you did pick up," she paused for a moment and ran a hand through her hair, "and I didn't have a clue what to say, I thought it was too late."

I was unsure if that required a reply, "So how do you feel about coffee next Tuesday?"

"I'm sorry, I can't."

I looked into her eyes and realised for the first time who I was dealing with, the queen. Commoners aren't supposed to meet with queens for coffee, I'm amazed she even drank with me the first time.

"I have to go back inside now."

"Of course…"

I put my hand on the small of her back and led her back into the palace. Just before she reached the door she said, "One man falls and leaves another to rise."

She looked at me for a split second, smiled and then walked inside to socialise. I wasn't quite sure what she meant at the time, but I soon realised when I went inside and spoke to the king. He asked me if I wanted to take Paul's position as head of security, but I said I wasn't so sure and that I'd have to talk to my wife about it, he understood. I was surprised he remembered me after all those years.

When I got home I realised that I probably should take the job, but it would mean I would have to leave my family behind.

I spoke to Lauren about it just before and she said, "You should take the job."

I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well since Sammy will be moving out soon there'll be no reason for you to stay."

"Of course there'll be reason to stay, I love you."

"You've never said so before."

"I didn't think I needed to…can I trust that the feelings mutual?"

She hugged me and kissed my cheek, "What do you think?"

"Still think I should take the job?"

"I don't know, how often would I get to see you?"

"I suppose every weekend or whenever I can get time."

"Well I suppose that would be okay…they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I don't think absence makes the heart grow fonder, I mean, I was in love with Clarisse but when she didn't call I forgot about her.

"You're sure I should take the job?"

"It's a wonderful opportunity and I'm sure we could use the extra money. Besides, we hardly see each other during the week anyway, so why not?"

I nodded, "Why not indeed?"

14/3/95

After a long and tedious speech from the king about how happy he was that I accepted the position, I was asked to return as soon as possible. I've packed a large majority of my things already, but will need another day to pack the rest, as it's very tiring. Lauren and I are going to spend tomorrow night dining at the finest seafood restaurant in Genovia, walking along the beach in the moonlight, kissing under the docks…making love afterwards and falling asleep in each other's arms dreaming of the time we've spent together. I'm going to miss her, but at least we'll still get to see each other once a week or more. I'm wondering how this will affect our relationship, especially since I'll be near Clarisse again. I can only hope to god I don't fall back in love with her.

15/3/95

Last night was the happiest night of my life. After Lauren and I stuffed ourselves full with the biggest sea platter I had ever seen, we walked onto the pier where we danced to the music that played only in our heads. After that we walked along the shore, sand sinking beneath our toes, wind gently blowing through our hair. I kissed her, softly, passionately and endlessly. We made love on the sand and watched the stars sparkling together, giving us reassurance that everything was going to be fine. She fell asleep on my chest, her hair smelt of lemons. I breathed it in until I realised how cold she was, she was shivering in her sleep. I carefully lifted her up and carried her to the car, placing her inside and quietly shutting the door. She stirred when I recomposed myself and started the engine, but she didn't wake up. When we got home I carried her inside and lay her down on the bed, her slight snoring amused me. I removed my shoes and hopped in with her, wrapping my arms around her waist and falling asleep.

16/3/95

I moved back into the palace today, despite the fact that I had to leave my family, but they'll come and visit and I'll visit them. I was given Paul's old room, which is twice as big as my old one because it actually has a lounge. I officially start my duties tomorrow…I'm sort of looking forward to it.

I went for a walk around the grounds today just like I used to do in old times and just like old times, I saw Clarisse. She was sitting on the bench reading a book, I tried to force myself from walking up to her, but I simply couldn't.

"Good afternoon, your majesty."

"Hello Joseph, I see you're all ready to start work."

"Not quite, I have some things to unpack, but I should be done by tomorrow."

"Good."

She observed my actions, which were twiddling my thumbs and rocking back and forth.

"Would you like to sit down?"

I hesitated, "No thankyou."

My head told me to walk away, but my legs wouldn't listen.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"No."

"Run along then."

I tripped a little as I started to walk off and I swear I heard her giggle.

Later on, I rang up Lauren and asked her how she was going, she said she was fine and that Sammy (or Sam, as he likes to be called now) wanted to talk to me. She put him on and he gave a cheerful, "Hello dad!"

"Hi, son, how are you?"

"Not bad, listen dad, how would you feel about becoming a grandfather?"

"Cat's pregnant?"

"Ha, no. We've been talking about it though. When do you think is the right time to have kids?"

"I don't know, you're really asking the wrong person."

"Oh…Hey dad?"

"Yes?

"You know how you're the head of security at the palace?"

"Yes…?"

"Can you introduce me to the king and queen? I've never met anyone royal before."

"I'll have to ask."

"Thanks, I'll hand you back to Mum now."

Naturally, I asked Rupert, who now lets me call him by his first name, if he would hold an audience with him and he said he would. He is getting so old, I think he's about 75 now and should be retiring soon…

I hate it when people already know what's going to happen in my stories. I was already thinking about the Paul dying thing the other day and yes, the Sammy getting married thing as well. I guess I did make that a little obvious since he really loves his g/f.