I walked into the guild, like usual, preparing for the unexpected... like normal.
But what I didn't know... was that what I was going to walk into would actually be the unexpected.
As I entered, I saw the whole guild cheering, laughing and smiling. And the center of the attention was... Natsu's arm around Lisanna with a smile on his face.
"Oh hey, Lucy! You heard, right? Me and Lisanna are together!"
Lisanna lightly blushed. "Oh c'mon... of course she heard. And so sorry, I didn't tell you in advance. Dang, even though I wanted you to be the first to know... since you're my best friend... I'm really, really sorry!"
thump
"O-Oh! It's fine! Really! Darn, I could've teased you soo much if I knew first!" I 'laughed'. "And I'm sooo happy you two are together. You guys are are really cute!"
"Aren't they?" Erza, Mira, Levy-chan, Gray, and Wendy walked up to me.
"They're so cute hmm? Lisanna's so lucky that I don't talk about her crush the way some OTHER people do!" Levy-chan elbowed me playfully.
"Look Erza, their colors just blend flawlessly!" Mira cheered. Erza nodded her head with a smile.
"Geez, who would've thought someone like Flame Brain would actually get a girlfriend." Gray smirked.
"How wonderful!" Wendy commented with a high-spirited expression.
Natsu smiled gleefully at us, and Lisanna only blushed harder.
But what they didn't notice...
Everything inside of me crashed. The future I had dreamt shattered before my eyes like delicate glass. My heart was wheezing, and my thoughts were spinning. I never knew I was so good at acting until I said what I had just said to them. My throat was hurting, and the world I was in just became blurry, colliding colors fading into black and white.
I slipped myself out of the guild and ran into my apartment. I slammed the door.
Third Person POV
Lucy collided her back with the locked door.
"H-Huh?" Lucy was stuttering to herself in utter confusion. Her lips were quivering and her eyes were covered by her blonde bangs.
"W-Why...? I-I sh-should b-be h-hap-py...! My t-two c-closest f-friends j-just got t-together...! Why a-am I...?"
She noticed that she was about to shed tears. Quickly, she brought her hands up to her eyes, and tried to smile widely so she could somehow falsely convince her eyes that that she was feeling an emotion that didn't have tears.
"N-No... no crying..." Lucy slumped to the floor, her smile disappearing into a pained expresssion. She brought her knees to her chest. "No... crying...!"
Lucy didn't care that she was alone, nor that no one could hear her. She still wasn't going to cry, even if it felt like daggers stabbing her every second she wasn't crying. She hated herself.
Because her heart was objecting this. Her heart was objecting her friends' happiness for its own desires! She was going to punish herself, and not let her heart feel comfort whatsoever.
But... she couldn't help the fact... she had feelings for that pink-haired idiot. Of course, she always knew this, but she couldn't face it. She couldn't see the possibility that Natsu returned her feelings. To the point that she even decided she would just be good friends with him for the rest of her life.
But even then... She couldn't stop her heart from feeling this way...
...so that's why... she would lock up all the pain into her heart. Even though it would slowly kill her from the inside.
Lucy fell to her side, not letting a single tear escape her eye. Her lips trembled upon the decision she made upon herself... but she wouldn't... she would never... ever...
...cry.
(The Next Day)
Natsu and Lisanna were talking and laughing with everyone, and Happy flew around the two, screaming, "You lllllllllllike her~!"
And Lucy just sat there. Smiling. In fact, she was smiling very brightly and optimisticly to the point where it was unnatural. She had to make her smiles sunnier... so she could cover her miserable, crying self. She was quiet. Lucy couldn't talk, or else her cracked and hurt voice would be heard. So she just smiled silently, while everyone laughed loudly... but she was isolated from everyone. She was alone.
Natsu noted her strange behavior and turned his attention towards Lucy.
"Hey, Lucy, what's up? You're quiet." Natsu stared at her.
"Yeah, Lu-chan, what is it?" Lisanna faced the same direction as Lucy.
Lucy panicked a bit inside. If they heard her quivering voice, they would know the secret she was specifically hiding from them.
"Ooh! Nothing, I was just looking at you two. You guys are just SUCH a perfect pair!"
"Ehh? Is that really all?" Lisanna stared confusingly with a hint of suspicion. "Is there-"
"Hey, Lisanna-chan, you wanna talk about... that? *wink wink, nudge nudge*" Lucy teased.
"EH-?! SO EARLY IN THE MORNING... AND NATSU'S HERE!" Lisanna panicked and tried to stop Lucy from doing what she was hinting.
Natsu just watched. Even though Lucy gave her best effort to hide it, his ears could still pick up a hint of despair in her voice that normal ears would not hear. It sounded so sorrowful that it hurt him, even if it was just for a split second, he could depict that there was something behind the curtains, but even then, he couldn't say...
However, with normal people, Lucy was succeeding. If she kept this momentum, hiding it wouldn't be a very bad problem at all. No one could tell, her stabbed, and pained heart screaming and crying for help. But Lucy would give herself no mercy. And she continued... with her fake smile... with her fake happiness... unallowing her desperately needed cries until she would rot away into nothing.
Over the months, however, Natsu's suspicion was pushed to the back of his mind and the least of his worries. Lucy actually was able to keep all her emotions in easily now, but to the point where she had actually forgotten how to express real emotions.
And like that, the team carried on like usual, doing missions, destroying the nearby towns, and having to pay their fees using their reward money.
The guild was normal and expected nothing of what Lucy had locked up. Everything was the usual and fell into place like Lucy wanted it to... except she was now living a pained, colorless life with no room for happiness.
Lucy actually learned to enjoy fighting difficult opponents independently like Erza, Natsu, and Gray. It was one of the few ways she was able to drown out her pain.
In fact, Erza repetitively asks on how Lucy was able to change her level in strength so drastically in such little time, but she often just replied with a "Dunno."
Her act held up for a long time. Almost a whole year to be exact, and by now, she had grown use to the pain. However, in the events of the Holidays, little did she know that her facade would finally disintegrate into nothing.
AUTHOR'S EXTRAS:
Lucy: Hmph, won't you look at that... ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER! And why do you always like put me in pain in your fanfictions? Is hurting me and making me broken and depressed really that fun to you?
Me: Urghhhh, you know what? YES! YES IT IS FUN, YOU LIKE DAT. HUH.
Lucy: ...You're a horrible person.
Me: I thought we've already established that.
Lucy: And since you let me in on the full not three-shot version on this story, I can safely say that you really like making me suffer. Mentally and physically.
Me: Pfft. Only a little bit.
Lucy: Oh god, well, readers, just to let you know, Author is a very messed-up, dark person that has a twisted form of imagination, and if you would like to see the full version of this story, you better review this piece of crap that Author calls "writing" and tell us what you think! But knowing Author, she's a lazy asshole who takes a long time to update not because she's short of ideas, but because she's too lazy to type up the chapters EVEN THOUGH, IT SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THAN 30 MINUTES.
Me: HEY, SHUT UP! IT MIGHT BE TRUE THAT I'M A LAZY ASS HAT, BUT DON'T SAY THAT. SURE, IT MIGHT TAKE AWHILE FOR ME TO GET OFF MY BUTT AND TYPE CHAPTERS, BUT I WILL COMPLETE THE STORY AT LEAST. *But it might take awhile...*
Lucy: Your readers are reading our conversations, and I don't think it's going to make them want to read your fiction based on the fact that you might leave them hanging for awhile...
Me: Ohhh crap, ummm... Hi~... Please follow, favorite and review~~
Lucy: Tch. Like they'll do that.
Me: OH JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.