2/7/99
Clarisse held her reunion ball tonight, oh how I wish she didn't invite him…
Chester, I'm talking about. I finally "met" him…
About three hours after the dancing started, I noticed he was dancing with my girl and I became extremely jealous. That wasn't the worst part though, he whispered something into her ear and I saw her smile and hold up her finger as if to say, "Just give me a minute".
He walked out of the ballroom, so I started dancing with Clarisse myself, "You look absolutely ravishing tonight my dear."
She blushed, "Thankyou…would you mind if I sat this dance out?"
"Of course not."
I dropped her hands and watched her walk the same way Chester had before. Naturally I decided to follow, she walked all the way up to Rupert's old suite and went inside. I wondered what she was doing in there, so I went into my own room to see if I could hear anything. Eventually I heard laughing and something banging against the wall – I think it was the bed. After realising what was going on, I became so enraged with jealousy and hate that I almost ripped my pillow to shreds.
About ten minutes later the noises stopped, I listened to see if I could hear anything else, but all I heard was the door being shut. I decided to wait a couple of minutes to see what happened next. I heard him walk past my door and then I heard her walk past a couple of minutes later. It was then I decided to leave my room and go back down to the party. I positioned myself against the wall and watched as she resumed dancing with him, red faced. They were smiling at each other with adoring eyes – it made me sick. As they continued dancing and acting like nothing had happened, my anger grew and grew. That's when it happened – I marched right up to him and punched him in the face.
He fell back into the crowd and I jumped on him and started beating the crap out of him until he bled – I was eventually pulled off him by Julien (shades) and Kirk. Clarisse wasn't too pleased with my actions, she told me to go immediately to her office and wait until she arrived. I knew I was in for it, the look in her eyes was furifying. I stomped my foot and started walking away, looking behind me to see Clarisse on her knees observing the damage I had done.
My hands were covered in blood, I was already regretting my actions. The man hadn't done anything wrong to me, except had a quick bang with a woman he didn't know was my…girlfriend? Or lover? Well, whatever she is, he didn't know about us. I had no right to hit him without an explanation. I am such an idiot.
I hesitated to open the door to Clarisse's office, even though she wasn't even in there, I kept telling myself, 'Walk away, get out of this hell-hole', but noooo, I didn't listen to what my head was telling me.
I sat down in the chair directly across from where she would later be sitting. I was shaking, I was scared because I already knew what she was going to ask me and I knew I didn't have any answers to give her. I anxiously awaited her arrival, wondering what punishment she would give me; the noose, the rack, death by a thousand cuts…
She came in 32.4 minutes later, I know this because I was looking at the clock the whole time thinking, 'enjoy this freedom while it lasts'.
I was about to fall asleep when I heard the door slam shut, it snapped me awake instantly. I didn't look to see who had entered the room, I knew it was her because I could smell her beautiful perfume.
She stomped over to her side of the desk and slammed her hands down, "What the HELL was that about!"
She was absolutely furious, I didn't say anything. I knew she was looking at me, but I kept my head in my hands to avoid her evil glare.
"Well? You broke my best friend's nose in three places, I think you owe me the decency of an explanation!"
I felt a lump growing in my throat and tears started to form, I still remained silent.
"God damn it, Joseph, speak to me!"
I felt the tears leave my eyes and run down my cheeks, I didn't like her yelling at me.
"Oh, stop it, you're a grown man! Now will you please tell me what is going on?"
I wanted to tell her how I was jealous, how I didn't like her "cheating" on me, how I don't like the influence he has over her, but I couldn't stop myself from sobbing for long enough to do so.
"Are you going to sit there all night crying like a wimpy little schoolgirl or are you going to tell me what your problem is?"
She got up and walked over to me, slapping my face and continuing towards the door, "When you're ready to give me an explanation, you know where to find me. Until then you are suspended until further notice and you are to be confined to your quarters, only venturing out at night. Your meals will be brought up to you. Any questions? Oh! How clumsy of me, I forgot you're not speaking…"
She slammed the door once again and went back down to the ball, I repeatedly banged my head on the desk until I noticed a writing pad. Since my feelings are best expressed through writing, I figured I'd attempt to write her a note telling her why I did what I did, but everything I wrote seemed implausible.
I gave up and stumbled out of the room, heading back to my suite to watch the guests leaving from the chair by my window.
I saw Clarisse on the steps saying goodbye to Chester (the last guest), she kissed his bandaged face and watched him leave. She then put a hand on her forehead and turned around, looking up at my window and accidentally making eye contact with me. She wiped the smile from her face and smoothed out her dress before turning back to walk inside.
I took a long look at myself in the mirror and decided to take a bath. I stayed in there until the water got cold and then I decided I would try and sleep – I couldn't, I can't. I must have insomnia or something.
5/7/99
Being confined to your room is pretty boring when you know the reason you're in there is completely idiotic. If I spend one more day in this bedroom alone I think I will go insane. I've already started talking to the sink on a regular basis; he says that the tap leaks onto him on purpose just to annoy him. I told him he was being silly and that the tap is probably just dripping because it thinks he smells bad and needs a bath. Actually I made all of that up, but tomorrow it will probably become my reality – talking to the bathroom sink, is there anything more sad?
6/7/99
A note was slipped under my door today, it was from Clarisse:
'Either you tell me what happened or you can pack your things and leave. If you choose to remain silent, I want you gone by Friday.'
I screwed it up and threw it under the bed, how am I supposed to explain my actions to her? She wouldn't understand why I just walked up and beat the life out of him… Hell I don't understand why I did it either, I ought to apologise to the man, but I don't know how he'd react. For all I know he might be a maniac, or he might have friends from prison who are going to kill me for what I did to him! I'm getting scared…
7/7/99
Well, I'm fired…
She didn't exactly have the chance to tell me herself, but I decided it from the look in her eyes. I gathered up the remainder of my courage and dignity and walked all the way to her office, ignoring all the "Please don't hit me" comments from everybody I passed.
As I approached Clarisse's office, Charlotte came up to me and asked what was going on, I waved her away and pushed the doors open. She looked up from her paperwork with startled and questioning eyes, "Mr. Alexander, it's nice to see you've finally decided to crawl out of your hole and speak to the person who's party you ruined."
I didn't wait for her ladies maids to leave the room, instead I pointed my finger at her and shouted, "Can the snide comments, Clarisse, I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry. I heard you two fucking, got jealous, hit him, end of story."
Her mouth dropped, which I took as my cue to leave.
I've been hibernating in my room ever since. I'm going to leave tomorrow, no need to hand in a letter of resignation, after that episode I'm fired for sure. So far I've only packed half my things, but I will finish the rest tonight and leave early in the morning before anybody wakes up.
Uh oh, I can hear Clarisse at the door…she probably wants to shout at me some more before I have a chance to leave…
(Later)
Alright, that's not what she wanted at all, "Joseph, we need to talk."
I let her in and she sat herself down on the couch, I sat in the armchair, "You were jealous of him?"
"How could I not be? You slept with him! I thought we were supposed to be…"
"Supposed to be what? We're not together, we're not lovers. I don't even know what we are."
"Neither do I! I've been wanting to ask for so long now but I could never find the right moment."
"So what you're saying is that you didn't know what we were, but became jealous anyway and hit a man you had absolutely no right to hit? Poor Chester spent the past few days trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. He was going to send some of his old prison friends to find out, but decided against it when I begged him not to."
So I was right – he was going to send someone after me…
"Joseph, if you get jealous about me sleeping with someone, you should consult me about it instead of resorting to violence."
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."
"Obviously not! How do you know I slept with him anyway? Did you follow me or-"
"I was curious!"
"You pervert, you didn't see anything did you?"
"No, but that's not the point! I want to be with you."
"Pardon?"
"I want to share my life with you."
"I thought that may be the case, but why didn't you come out and tell me? I can't be expected to just know these things. You have to talk to me about them."
"I thought my feelings for you were obvious, the sleeping in the same bed thing, the intimate displays of affection..."
"But you can't just touch me a couple of times and expect me to believe we're in a relationship. A good relationship is built on talking to one another, not just mere physical."
"Well if I had known that, I would spoken to you sooner."
"I think you've learnt a valuable lesson today, Joseph. Here's another one, if we're to be secretly involved, you will not shout obscenities at me, especially when my ladies maids are in the room, you will not discuss 'us' with anyone but me and you will apologise to the man you so brutally harmed in your fit of rage. Any questions?"
I shook my head and she glided over to me, "Good."
She ran her hand down my face briefly and then she was gone.
I smiled for the first time in weeks and felt an overall pleasantness run through my body. She's mine! Clarisse Renaldi is my girlfriend! I am the boyfriend of the queen! Wait a minute, did she say secretly involved? Oh well, what does it matter, she's my girlfriend!
A little bit shorter than usual, but it's another fill in chapter – I just thought it was too soon to kill off Philippe. Maybe next chapter. Also, I almost forgot that I needed to do the whole 45th Reunion Ball, so here it is. I chose to add the fight because I thought it was a nice touch.
I just finished my proofreading and now I think this chapter is boring, but then again I find most of my own chapters boring.
FAQ:
Furifying is another one of my made up words.
No, Joseph is not divorced, he is merely separated as stated in the last chapter (I think).
Yes, some of my chapters (although short) do take a long time to write. This one didn't though, it was more like only four hours (not all at the one time though). A great way to waste time when you've got nothing better to do like me.
Thankyou all for your kind reviews. It's nice that youse didn't find the last chapter as boring as I did.
Time to review again! Hope I've answered all questions.