Time seemed to stop as Molly walked slowly down the isle. She hadn't spent much time in churches but it was always for the worst reason that she entered these grand old buildings. Next to her, a mother, weeping to herself in disbelief.
You know it, in the back of your mind that this day could come. Burying one of your comrades; someone you loved like a brother. It's always there in your mind that this day could come. That those you hold dearest could leave this world before you.
It's different for a mother. No one thinks the day will come where they put a child of their own in the ground.
Molly almost fell to her knees as they called it. Time of death,16.23.
She ran to the nearest toilet, pushing the door open. The bang of the door hitting the wall echoed covering the sound as she puked up every last bit of her soul into that loo. She fell to the floor, sobbing for Smurf.
Knowing that she could have seen the signs, knowing in her heart that she couldn't have done anything to stop this tragedy and yet also feeling like if she'd spotted it sooner she could have saved him, she sat in a church pew and looked around. Tears rolled down her cheeks silently. She breathed in deeply. Sometimes it felt like he was the only person fighting her corner. And the plans they'd made...
The words of the service washed over her. She was taken by the grief to the saddest and most lonely place she had ever been. Every corner of her heart ached with regret. How would she ever live life again without seeing him, speaking to him, his name flashing up on her phone screen when he knew, as if telepathically, she was feeling down. Molly stared at phone screen in anticipation.
Nothing.
Why did she even expect it? A coldness came across her entire body. She curled into her bunk, clutching at his mothers ring, the ring he had given her out of love. She sobbed herself into a deep sleep, filled with dreams that turned to nightmares. How would she wake up from the worst nightmare of them all... Life.