Sorry, the crow queen, if Chocolatta Soup exists, I haven't heard of it. It's just improv, like most of this story. Glad you liked it though, my little sister wants to come up with a recipe. It does sound good actually... :) Anyways, did anybody catch the Star Wars reference in Chapter 1? Chapter 3 summary: yo mama insults, and everybody's new favorite goofballs almost murder Arima...

'Shit, he's better than I thought...' Touka thought. "Sleeping kitty! Why are you still talking? Nobody listens!"

"Well then apparently everyone in aisle four is named nobody! Where do I go from here, noisy parrot?" Kaneki shot back.

"Upstairs, aisle forty! 'S on floor three, cowardly bunny!" Touka yelled.

"Alright! I wish I had a knife as sharp as your tongue, I'd cut inch-thick steel with it!"

"Yo auntie so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!" Touka thought she was smart to remember the story about Medusa.

"Yo auntie so fat, she drags down the elevator!"

"Yo auntie a bitch!" Touka said.

"Yes she is! Yo auntie so bad at fashion, her clothes are more tasteless than Tsukiyama's!" Kaneki told her.

"My imaginary friend has better insults than you!" Touka announced.

"Then take a few of her suggestions, Touka!"

"My imaginary friend was a dude! And I lost touch with him years ago!"

"If you still have an imaginary friend, I'll be very disturbed, Gummy Bear!"

"You made me miss one, bastard! I mean, radioactive lab rat of a grammar nazi asshole!" Touka snapped.

"Oh yeah? As I recall, this is a no-holds-barred contest of wit, Bunny Rabbit!" Kaneki reminded her.

"I know, hairy eyeball!"

"Then that's allowed! You fight like a whale washed up on a beach, by the way!"

"Are you ever speechless, chattery monkey? You fight like a clumsy teddy bear!" Touka told him.

"Your hair looks like it came out of an anime author's brain!" Kaneki said.

"So does yours, Calamity JANE!" Touka said.

"You callin' me a girl, Volcano Goddess?" Kaneki asked.

"Yeah! And a bandit to boot!" Touka snapped.

"Okay then, I'm your mother, Froggie Princess!" Kaneki said.

"You're my mother?!" Touka shrieked.

"If I'm your mother, you're in trouble, young lady! So let's all be very, very grateful I am NOT yo mama! And don't go calling me a girl, Batso!" Kaneki yelled into the phone.

"Your brain is as strong as the South Pole is hot in July! And you'll die in the end, Kenny!"

The videotape was paused at this point by Washuu. Most of the council members were busting their guts, leaning on the table, each other, or chairs. Arima was lying still on the floor.

"What happened to Arima, Inspector Washuu?" Kuroiwa asked.

"I think he passed out from lack of air. He was laughing incredibly hard at the insult competition. Should we stop for a break until he wakes up?" Washuu asked.

"It'd be rude not to. Plus, I'm pretty sure we all need a break by now." Shinohara said.

So another chapter. This one's kinda short... And I couldn't resist the South Park reference. It perfectly fits Tokyo Ghoul. Too perfectly. And yet somehow I've never seen it in a TG fanfic... ah well. Who do you think will win the insult contest?

Also little side note: Kaneki knows the difference between anime and manga. He simply slipped up in the heat of the moment.