Third Person POV

The guild seemed rowdy as always, except there was something that felt missing. Natsu peered over at the quest board as if expecting to find something note-worthy. Then he remembered last night... the painful image of her screaming, hurt face flashed through his mind reminiscently, as if his consciousness was punishing him. It lingered in his mind short enough for him to feel slight joy, but haunted him often so that that slight joy would crash down, again and again.

Lucy... Lucy... Lucy...

"Natsu!" Natsu looked forward to the direction of the voice familiarly.

"Yo! Lisanna." Natsu made the usual smile, but he was slightly bummed that it was just Lisanna. He examined the guild carefully, hoping to find-

"Oi Flame Brain." Gray stared at Natsu provokingly. "The hell you spacing out for?"

Great. Because Gray was totally what Natsu was looking for. Natsu sighed and looked at Gray unamusingly.

"What d'you want, I'm really not feeling it right now so can you just make it quick?" Natsu grumpily answered. Suddenly, everyone in the guild stopped what they were doing and focused their attention on Natsu with astonishment.

Natsu never turned down a chance to challenge Gray, let it alone not insult him.

"N-Natsu...? Hey, is everything okay?" Lisanna tugged at Natsu's arm with uncertainty in her eyes. "You seem out of it today, is there something bothering you?"

"Hm? No not really-"

Then Lucy entered the guild to notice the awkward situation she was in, interrupting the sudden attention on Natsu. Wait... Natsu... Remembering yesterday, Lucy hurriedly made her way to the bar, where she could be with Erza, Levy, Mira, Evergreen, and Cana. Surely, Natsu wouldn't confront her in front of them.

In surprise, Natsu jumped up from his seat when she was halfway to the bar. "Wait- Lucy!" His voice wasn't loud enough to call for attention, but Lucy heard it and tried to act as if she didn't hear it.

"Natsu?" Lisanna reacted to his sudden jump. "What's up? You're acting strange."

"Huh? Oh, hah. Am I?" Natsu scratched his head in amusement. "Must've eaten too much of that bonfire yesterday."

"Hmm~? Oh I see- Wait a minute, you ate the bonfire?!" Lisanna cried out. Yesterday she had wondered why the bonfire Mira made had gone out so fast. "Naatsuuu!"

Natsu let out a slight chuckle as Lisanna yanked his arm and yelled him to not eat festive fires anymore.

Lucy's POV

I sat down on one of the bar stools next to Levy-chan and Erza with my heart racing.

I can't do it. Facing him is too hard.

Wait a minute. Why am I being so tense like this?! It's not like I confessed to him or anything. Why did I ignore him and run?! All I'm doing is making all of this more suspicious! Ugh, stupid, stupid, stupid!

I peered over at Natsu. Him and Lisanna were together, obviously. Lisanna seemed to be lecturing him like... a girlfriend.

...Oh yeah... they had their first kiss yesterday... huh?

I stared at the surface of the table. My heart still felt heavy, when suddenly I was presented with a milkshake.

"Here, Lucy."

I looked up.

"A strawberry milkshake on the house!" Mira smiled warmly, and welcomed me to drink the milkshake.

"Eh? Thanks." I sipped the milkshake. The flavor of Mira's sweet and gentle strawberry milkshake melted on my tongue and reduced my fatigue only by a small fraction, but I still appreciated it.

"Lu-chan, are you okay?" Levy looked at me worriedly. "You've been spacing out a lot recently."

"Yeah, you had me concerned last night too." Erza took account of my suspicious behavior. "Don't keep us out of the loop when something's happening."

"Yeah Lu-chan, c'mon! Open up!" Levy-chan cheeringly nudged me.

"Eh? Ah! N-Nothing. Really, you don't need to be concerned about me. I-" I sighed and stood up to face them. "I'm okay, alright? Plus, last night, I hit my head, and dang it, that beam really hurt."

I couldn't take any more people finding out about my selfishness, even though I had already presented myself as selfish... and that I...

Already, I felt like running away. My first day of not playing my role of an optimistic facade. The true me... It all hurt too much. I wanted to bury it. My pitiful self, my unrequited feelings, and just my pain overall. I wanted it all to go away. They were supposed to go yesterday, but they're still here. My heart ached again. I wonder again and again... why I still do these things to myself.

I love him.

No. No. No. I can't let that mindset take over again. I can't let my feelings run free. No. Just no more...! I can't love... I can't let anyone know. I told myself to get rid of these feelings over and over and over again! I can't... I can't...

I can't...

I opened my eyes to reality, and in front of me was the exit to the guild. It looked so bright that I thought it would blind me if I stared at it too long. I wonder if it had always been that vibrant.

Could this be...

"Lu-chan?"

...my exit...

"Lucy, what is it?"

...to all of this...?

As if I had been brainwashed, I mindlessly started walking towards the guild's exit. Without explanation, without reason, I just wanted to reach that light.

The inside of the guild seemed so dark and tense, like the pain I had held in for the past year. The pain of one-sided feelings. I was so close to it. The brightness of the exit was literally dancing around my palm. Just one more step...

"Lucy."

I felt my wrist get grasped. And just like that. This vibrant, sun-like light was shattered. It shattered before my very eyes, before I could actually touch it.

Wait... no... please... come back...

That was the chance... that I was waiting for...

The chance to renew myself.

No... way...

I turned around, startled to find Natsu staring at me. Why... why did you stop me from leaving?! My throat felt dry, like sandpaper, and suddenly, I found it difficult to swallow. My eyes of course wouldn't so much as water up, as expected of my naive self that couldn't cry anymore. I bit my bottom lip to withhold my urge to tremble. I could feel his calloused hand gripping my wrist. His grip was firm enough to stop me from going further, but gentle enough that it wasn't threatening. No matter anyway though... the light was gone. My exit was gone. Now I'm trapped in the endless cycle of pain once more.

I wanted to yank my wrist out of his hold, but before I could do so, Natsu spoke.

"Hey Lucy, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"E-Eh?" I could feel the pressure dawning on me. "Sure... what about?"

"Ooh! Love confession?! Dayum Natsu, you're a real player!" Cana laughed. She was obviously drunk.

"Oi can you shut up?" Macao whacked the back of her head with his beer can.

"Yeah he has a girlfriend right?" Droy added.

The entire guild watched us, as if we were acting out a script from a romance drama. Lisanna gazed at us. I couldn't tell if she was interested or troubled, but all I knew was that I could feel her distancing from me. No... no... I don't want that. I want to be her friend. I want her and Natsu to be happy together.

Wait... do I...?

I felt disgusted. I didn't even know what I wanted anymore. But one more time... I just want to try one more time... the time before all of this drama unfolded. I don't want to cause anymore trouble... I want to put on my mask one more time... for Lisanna's sake...

For Lisanna's sake...?

I felt Natsu let go of my wrist, and we started walking towards Lisanna's table. "We're gonna talk about the next mission we're gonna do, duh."

Suddenly, I felt as if an enormous amount of weight had been taken off of my chest when Natsu suddenly stopped.

"...And ...about what happened last night."

Author's Note

Woooooo I updated. Before I say anything else, I'd like to apologize if the writing in the chapter seems forced. Lol. It 'should' seem forced, because it totally IS forced haha. I kind of pushed myself to write this chapter even though I really wasn't in the mood because I had *gasp* Writer's Block. (Writer's Block, you can just. Die. Okay. No one likes you.) I really didn't want to make you guys wait like last time. Hah. Haha. But it's out! Courteous to all you folks who kept saying, "Update soon!" You played a huge role. On another note, how was your guys' Halloweens? Because I didn't do anything! :D

Lucy: Oh yeah, readers, if you've noticed Author becoming more angsty with her writing, and consequently, more sucky, that's because she's been reading... say... a LOT of shoujo manga. I'm so sorry I haven't moderated her.

Me: Okay I'm seriously uncertain if you're my mother or not right now.

Lucy: Oh really? Don't worry. I wouldn't have such a disappointment as my daughter.

Me: (」゜ロ゜)」Can you pls shut up.

Lucy: ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵘᶜᵏ ᵃᵗ ʷʳᶦᵗᶦᶰᵍ⋅

Me: THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU AND WRITE FICTIONS LIKE THIS GOD DAMMIT. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻