Shepard walked to her quarters and removed her armor, then proceeded to the med bay. As the door closed behind her, Karin looked up with a simple greeting. "Commander." Shepard hesitated momentarily, and then stoically made the required statement to the ship's chief medical officer. "Dr Chakwas. I am sorry to report that Lt Kaidan Alenko was killed in action on Virmire. No remains available for disposition to the family." Karin pursed her lips, then schooled her expression, looked directly at Samantha and responded, "Understood, Commander. I'll make the final annotations and close out the Lieutenant's medical records for inclusion in the death notification to Alliance HQ." After a brief pause, she asked her friend. "How are you?" For the moment, Samantha chose to ignore the true purpose of Karin's question and answered the medical doctor instead, "I took a hard rocket, dropped my shields, and consequently took multiple rounds to my right side. Hurt like hell." Karin motioned her up onto one of the treatment tables, and continued, with a cool look in her eyes, "That's not what I meant, and you know it, but if you're not ready to talk about it, I won't press. You know how to find me when you need...Now, compression shirt off, Commander, and let's get you patched up."

Sam pulled the shirt off over her head, wincing as the pressure of the shirt was removed from the wounds. Now bare on top, she laid back on the table for Karin to start work. As Karin removed the temporary medigel patch and cleaned the wound, Sam hissed. "We had to destroy a Krogan cloning facility. The position was being overrun. Kaidan stayed back to guard a nuke...to make sure it would go off and complete the mission." Karin's hands paused only momentarily... "I see..." and she focused on her work, starting the bone stitcher. "You have some stress fractures on the ribs, must have been high impact rounds. Between that and the muscle stitching we'll have to do, you'll be sore for a few days, but you'll only need light duty for 24 hours. Armored or not, might be a good idea to keep a compression shirt on for the same 24 hours to minimize rib movement." Sam closed her eyes, steadied herself, and spoke with no emotion, "I had to pick, Karin...I could have gone back and supported the position, cleared out the Geth...but the Chief was also pinned down, a separate location, with a full Salarian squad. Total of a dozen folks surviving. I had to pick the 12 over the one." Sam fell silent and didn't continue...didn't tell her that Kaidan agreed with the call, that Ashley was angry at the choice and would most likely be suffering survivor's guilt. Sam was the commander. It was her decision, her pain to bear, and it wouldn't be right to dump it in Karin's lap.

The bone stitcher finished; Karin set the muscle stitcher in motion. "I'm sorry, Commander. I know the choice seems obvious, but I also know how you care for those under your command. It could not have been easy, to leave one of your own behind." Just then, the door slid open and Liara started to enter the med bay. When she realized the commander was laying on the treatment table half naked, she immediately stopped and turned around, blushing, "Oh! I am sorry! I did not realize you were in here getting treatment, Commander!" Samantha laughed softly at Liara's bashfulness. "It's alright, Liara. Feel free to walk through to your room...unless you're here to see the doc..." Suddenly, as if she had not considered that possibility before, Sam's face looked more serious, and her tone more concerned. "You didn't get injured, did you?" Liara was rooted to the spot with indecision, facing away from the commander, torn between wanting to retreat, wanting to run to her room, and trying to figure out if it was rude to answer the commander's question without turning to face her. The pause was long enough, Sam encouraged a response, "T'Soni?" Liara turned a bright shade of purple at this point, finally blurting out, "I do not understand military protocol! I honestly don't know if it is impolite to face you or disrespectful to not face you when answering the question, or if it is rude, or... By the Goddess, you're naked! How am I supposed to act?" At this, Karin dropped her eyes and raised her hand, hiding the smile ready to explode into laughter. Samantha had no such restraint and laughed out loud. "I'm sorry, Liara, I shouldn't laugh at your discomfort, but it's just so damn...refreshing! No worries. Trust me; every member of the ground crew has seen me, at one time or another, in some degree of disrobement, thanks to my penchant for getting injured in the field." Still flustered, Liara bleated, "But that does not answer my question!" Frustrated now, Sam assumed her command voice. "T'Soni, get over here and answer MY question...Did you get injured and not tell me?" Liara, who had been slouching like she was trying to disappear, bolted upright and, almost involuntarily, spun on her heal at the unexpected change in tone. She did not move, but looked directly into the commander's eyes and answered, "No, ma'am, I did not get injured during the mission, other than the head ringing we all took when Saren launched every rocket remaining on that damn hover platform."

That statement got Karin's attention, and she turned to Liara, beckoning her over and running a quick scan. "Any headache, blurred vision?" Liara, relieved to no longer be looking at Samantha, lying on a table, breasts exposed. Fit, strong, toned muscles...I want to just...touch... oh, Goddess, help me! shook her head and answered shakily, "No, really, I am fine." Karin acquiesced with a smile, "The scans don't indicate anything, so I have to agree with her, Commander. Unlike you, she apparently escaped unscathed." Sam was relieved, and let Liara off the hook. "Very good. Liara, feel free to retire to your room, I'll check in with you when the doc is done with me here." Sam smiled in light amusement as Liara sighed in relief and practically bolted from the room. "I don't get that girl, Karin. Asari supposedly have fewer hang-ups with sexuality and nakedness than humans, and when I woke up the morning after our mandated rest period, she was stuck to me like white on rice...I could hardly move, she was hugging me so tight. Then something like this happens, and she's embarrassed as all get out."

"That's not a fair comparison, Commander. In that situation, you were both clothed, and it was private; nor was I in the room during all that. I'm sure she would be just fine with other Asari, and while she is very intelligent, she is still young, and very much aware of our cultural differences. She probably has yet to figure out how to deal with them. Be gentle with her." Samantha smiled wistfully, "No worries on that account, Doctor."

Karin returned to Shepard's bedside and, its work being complete, moved the muscle stitcher out of the way. "I'll just put a few skin patches on the more torn up spots, do a little skin regeneration, and you'll be done. I'll do some soft tissue regeneration while I'm at it. Care to tell me how you got the lovely bruise necklace you now have adorning your neck?" The commander relayed the story of Saren, ending with Liara's well-timed Shuriken shots causing him to turn, dropping Samantha on the roof, rather than the multi-story fall off the side of the building. Sam ended with a smile, "That damned Asari is starting to make a habit of saving my ass. It's bad for my reputation!" Karin laughed, "I'm glad someone is watching out for you, Commander! I think I'm going to like Dr T'Soni very much... very much indeed! Now, go make your promised visit and get out of my med bay! I have work to do." Sam got up and put her compression shirt back on, grimacing at the initial pressure, then relaxing. "Ahhh, much better. Thanks, Doc. And Karin...no, it never becomes easy to leave anyone behind...no matter how many times I have been forced to do it." The commander suddenly looked a bit more somber and mumbled, "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." Karin looked at her once more and quirked an eyebrow in question. "Twentieth century human poet, Robert Frost. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. It... seemed appropriate."

Karin sighed, "That it is, Commander. That it is."

The commander knocked on Liara's door and was greeted by a melodious, "Come in." Sam tapped the door panel and stepped into the room; Liara was seated at her little desk, busy typing away. Sam moved into the room, plopping onto a spare crate, showing the courtesy to not interrupt her work. When she finished her thought, Liara turned and bashfully smiled, a light blush still on her cheeks. "Hello, Samantha. All done with Karin, I see." Her mood took a downswing as she asked, "How are you? You look... distracted."

Sam sighed, "Seems to be a popular question today. I really don't know yet. Still processing, and have too much to do to make time to think about it right now. Sorry to say, but this can't be a long visit. I just have a couple things to run by you."

Liara looked disappointed, "Ok, Commander, what do you need?"

Sam shook her head and glanced down, before returning to meet Liara's gaze. "That doesn't mean you have to call me Commander. Just because we may be talking business, it's still a private conversation, and I'd like to keep it that way... conversational. I know you have no military background, so you have no cultural experience to base this on... but keeping things 'casual' per say equates to 'off the record' and it gives people permission to speak freely without fear of retribution or punishment for saying something I may not agree with. Do you understand?"

Liara contemplated the information for a moment then nodded, "Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. So, what do we need to discuss 'off the record' as you say?"

Sam took a deep breath and looked directly eye to eye with Liara. "The beacon. I could tell the information was not truncated like on Eden Prime. There was...simply... more. I don't know how else to explain it, but I know it's more complete."

Liara was excited, "So, you want to meld and sort the data! Figure out what info we now have!"

Sam was hesitant. "Yes, and no... Yes, we need to do it, but we have to be careful here. We've already melded, and I hate to say it, but I don't want the crew to know. It may seem like we tried to hide it."

Liara burst out, "But we didn't! It just happened...it needed to happen! We did nothing wrong! I refuse to believe that!"

Shepard interrupted her, raising a hand to signal a break. "I know that, so do you, and so does Karin... but that won't change perceptions of the crew. So, here's my suggestion. We wait for the debrief, which will be soon, within the next couple of hours, and we'll meld in there, in front of the entire ground crew. It's still not ideal, because the main objector the first time was...well, you know..." Samantha tapered off, unable to finish the sentence.

Liara finished for her, "Kaidan, and now he's not here to stop it anymore."

Samantha let out a long sigh. "Yes, exactly. I don't think anyone will object though, because everyone knows you now. So, I think it's the best solution. You just need to report everything you see, including everything we've already discussed, just like it's our first time."

Liara nodded, understanding exactly where the commander was going. "And, I'll be sure to have an energy drink before hand, so hopefully I won't experience the exhaustion I had the first time...plus you should be much more receptive this time, the meld should go much smoother."

Sam looked troubled for just an instant, then her expression cleared. "I really only have one concern with this...don't take this badly...it's a good thing...but you can't lie worth a shit." Sam had to laugh at Liara's shocked expression. "It's ok, Liara, like I said, it's a good thing! Just don't ever play poker. Anyway, don't bring the meld up...just let me handle it, and play along best you can. Sound good?"

Liara went from shocked to puzzled, and asked, "Poker?"

Sam shook her head... "Oh gosh...um...A human card game, where you bet on your cards...but you have to keep the quality of your hand...um the cards you hold, and the strength of your play... a secret, so the other folks in the game will stay in and bet against you. If you hide it well, you can bluff with a weak hand and make other people drop out, or if you hide a great hand, people stay in and keep raising the bet. In the end, you can get even more money from them." Sam looked at Liara questioningly, not sure if her explanation made any sense at all to the Asari.

Liara smiled, "Yes, I understand, we have similar games in Asari culture, but your assumption would be correct. I have never been very good at them. However, in this case, I feel if you lead, I will be able to play along."

"Ok, good. I think we'll get through this just fine...which brings me to my next topic... of getting through things. I wanted to thank you...seems you are developing a knack for pulling my ass out of the fire whenever I am facing impending doom caused by a long fall to a premature death." Liara once again looked puzzled, so Sam explained. "Ok, too cryptic. I'll give you that one. First time you saved me from a volcano, and today you saved me from a multi-story fall."

Liara honestly still looked baffled, "What are you talking about, Shepard?"

Sam's eyebrows went up. "Really? You don't know?" Liara just shrugged and shook her head no, so Sam had to explain the same story she had recently related to Karin.

When Shepard got to the part about her dangling out past the edge of the roof, Liara paled considerably. "By the Goddess, Shepard! I...I didn't see that from where I was standing! How did I not see that? I had no idea you were not still over the roof! What if he had dropped you, instead of turning?" Liara was actually trembling, "I could very well have killed you!" It was too much for her to contemplate, tears started forming in Liara's eyes and Shepard couldn't stand it.

Sam jumped up and went to her, kneeling in front of her chair, clasping Liara's hands. "Hey, Blue...it's ok! No worries! If he had dropped me off the building, you just would have snatched me back with one of those tremendous pulls of yours." Sam smiled, trying to lift the mood.

Liara was having none of it. She got up and started pacing, almost frantically. She spoke quickly, "It is no joking matter, Samantha Shepard! I do not see any humor in this situation at all. We lost Kaidan, and I had no idea I was so close to losing you as well! I... "

Sam intercepted her, standing in her path and cupping both sides of Liara's face with her hands, forcing Liara to stop. "Liara! I'm ok! He didn't drop me! Sometimes, when you do the things we do, you just have to accept that a little luck goes a long way..." Sam ducked her head down at an angle, and gently tried to guide Liara's face to they would be looking at one another. Even though Liara resisted, trying to look down to hide the tortured look in her eyes, Sam was persistent, and won the battle of wills. Her piercing gaze eventually penetrated the clouded expression in Liara's eyes. Sam whispered softly, one more time, "It's ok, Liara. Believe me." before gently wiping the tears from Liara's face, then hugging her tight. Liara clung on for dear life, and they remained that way for a few moments before Sam managed to break the embrace. "Liara, I really need to go. We'll talk later, though, Ok?"

Liara answered meekly, "Yes, of course Shepard...I am sorry."

"No apologies, T'Soni. It's an emotional time for all of us right now." Sam caressed a damp blue cheek, "Later, Liara, I promise," and headed down to the personal lockers in the armory.

"Joker, point the nose to Noveria, please. When we get close, try to time the jump so we arrive at first light. I want a good night's sleep and whole day in front of us when we land. Also, have the ground team report to the conference room in one hour for the Virmire debrief, and then make a ship wide announcement for a memorial service at 1600 hrs for Lt Alenko." After a brief pause, she heard, "Roger that, Commander." Nothing more. Sam really hoped Noveria gave them something; it was the only lead they had left. Shepard grabbed the box she had picked up and opened Kaidan's locker. He really didn't have many personal items, based on what was in his locker; his entire life was the Alliance. She slowly pulled everything out, removing all personalization and placing the reverted standard issue Alliance weapons and armor in the appropriate cleaning or storage bins. All personal items, insignias, badges, etc, Samantha collected and placed in the box she brought.

She remembered the story Kaidan told her about how he got trained as a biotic. Kaidan had been one of the lucky ones. He had developed biotic potential instead of terminal brain cancer after his Mom had been exposed to element zero, eezo, while he was in utero. When he was old enough, his family packed him off to Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training, where he met a beautiful girl named Rahna. Things went badly right from the start. The Alliance, in their infinite wisdom, had decided to hire Turians as the biotics instructors, even though the First Contact War hadn't been over for even ten years yet. Kaidan's instructor was a veteran, who introduced himself as the Turian "at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father." Even with an ass as an instructor, Kaidan managed to keep his cool...until the instructor physically hurt Rahna by breaking her arm when she physically reached for a glass of water, instead of using her biotics. Kaidan rushed to her defense, only to receive a beating from the instructor. When the instructor pulled a knife and slashed him, Kaidan lost control, releasing a full biotic kick, killing his instructor. After a brief investigation, the Alliance closed the school and sealed all the records to hide their mistakes. Kaidan fell off the radar for a bit, but lacking any better options, ended up joining the Alliance Marines in 2173. Though he was three years Shepard's senior in age, he didn't join the Alliance until a year after she did. Had he joined immediately after BAaTT school closed down, Shepard's and Kaidan's positions may have been reversed and things could have been very different. She was going to miss his soulful eyes and his solid mission recommendations and feedback.

Samantha shook herself out of her reverie and continued to pack up Kaidan's things. She paused over a picture of Kaidan and his father...she had no idea when it was taken, but it was somewhere in Vancouver, Canada. Probably somewhere near where Kaidan's father had retired. She remembered Kaidan always had a fondness for bacon wrapped beef filets and a bottle of beer, saying something about the traditional food of his people. She smiled a sad, half-smile and put the picture in the box. She thought it depressing a man's entire life could fit in a shoe box, and they didn't even have a body to send home to his father. She had no idea how she was going to write the notification letter; Kaidan wasn't just one of the troops, he was a fellow officer and a friend.

As Shepard turned to walk away, she realized Ash was standing there, silently watching, her face a mix of anger and sorrow. Samantha set the box down on the armory workbench and walked over to Ashley. "How you doing, Ash?"

Ashley looked stricken, "I...I can't believe Alenko didn't make it. How could we just leave him down there?"

The Commander shook her head. "He set the damn countdown on that bomb. There was no time, I couldn't save you both, and I hate it." Sam knew what was coming. She'd seen survivor's guilt many times...sometimes experienced it personally, and knew it was a natural reaction.

Ash blamed herself. "It should have been me, Commander. You know that."

Shepard shook her head, trying to be patient with the grieving Ashley. "Chief, don't second guess me, and don't sell yourself short. You're a hell of a soldier, and as I told you on the ground, it wasn't just you. I had to pick the 12 over the one. There wasn't really a choice."

Ashley still couldn't come to terms with it. "I...I'm sorry Commander. you saved my life. I'm grateful for that, but I would have gladly stayed behind if it would have saved the LT."

"I know, Ash. We all feel the same. It's who we are." Shepard's face became granite. "Kaidan's blood is on Saren's hands, and when we find that son-of-a-bitch again, we'll make him pay." Shepard shook herself, grief replacing the anger. "I'll see you at the debrief, Chief. I know it's tough, but try to bring your game face."

Ashley looked at her, stood a little taller and straightened out her shoulders. A bit of angry fire showed in her eyes as she said, "Aye Aye, Commander." Ashley thought about how kind the Lieutenant had been. It seemed conflicted to her, that such a seemingly gentle soul, who always seemed to put others before himself, could be the same man who could tear an enemy apart at the molecular level with little or no regret. He had been the first to welcome the alien crew members on board, making sure they had what they needed, went out of his way to make them feel at home. Ashley had been busy being a xenophobe, and Alenko was busy making sure they knew their way around the mess hall. It just didn't seem fair that he should be the one to go. Of course, Ashley was well aware of how real life was seldom fair.

The Virmire debrief had been long, and they were close to wrapping it up when they finally visited the issue of the new beacon they discovered. Garrus chimed in, "Commander, from what I heard about Eden Prime, your second experience was a significant improvement?"

Shepard agreed. "I think it had a lot to do with the addition of the cipher. Once my head settled down, the cipher allowed the visions to come into sharper focus...and I'm pretty sure the second beacon added more data." Shepard contemplated in silence for a moment, and then asked a question. "Liara, you offered once to meld with me, to join our minds to help me sort the beacon data in my head. I can actually make sense of the images now, but they still don't mean anything to me, maybe you would recognize them... Is that offer still good? Are you still willing?"

Liara hesitated, the crew interpreting her nervousness as nothing more than a natural byproduct of contemplating a meld with a personality such as Commander Shepard. No one thought anything of it, and their deception seemed to be working. She glanced around nervously before replying. "Yes, the beacon in Saren's lab was similar to the one you found on Eden Prime. Combining them both with the cipher, I should be able to help you put all those pieces together."

Shepard stood up and walked to the center of the room. "We may not have much time...we don't know how long Saren has had the data to try to puzzle it all out, but we have you. We should be able to beat him at his own game with that advantage. Let's do it. Just tell me what I need to do."

Liara stood and joined her. "This requires physical contact, Commander. We must join hands... then close your eyes and relax. Focus on the beacon images, Commander." Liara's eyes went black as she spoke the words, "Embrace eternity!" and initiated the meld. {Samantha, focus on the beacon images. Show me everything again.} Liara narrated aloud, for the sake of the crew, "It is a distress call. A message sent out across the Prothean Empire. Goddess, the destruction! A warning against the Reapers. But the warning came too late. {That's very good, Samantha. Breath, relax, control the rate of flow. You are doing very well! Remember to concentrate, and when we get done, remember to let me close the link slowly, please.} There are images, locations. Places I recognized from my research! The conduit is on Ilos! Saren needs to find the Mu Relay... It is the only way to get to Ilos, but it has been lost for centuries..."

Liara continued, "I'm going to withdraw from the link slowly now, Commander. We must ease out gently so as to not cause any type of neural shock to either of our systems...let me terminate the link from my side." Samantha relaxed and gave complete control to Liara, who withdrew softly, until Sam felt a sudden distinct pang of loneliness. Had she not been clutching Liara's hands, Samantha would have thought she had gone. As Liara retreated from the meld, her eyes returned to crystal blue, unusually bright with triumph. As Samantha reopened her eyes, she was mesmerized by the expression of... self-confidence... on Liara's face. Sam totally forgot the rest of the crew, temporarily suspended in time, admiring the rare view. Liara's satisfied smile faltered slightly as Samantha's expression puzzled her. She wondered if she had done something wrong when terminating the meld, if she had left Samantha somehow... stuck? Had her excitement about being able to identify Ilos caused her to be careless? As the worrying thoughts raced through her mind, her grip on Samantha's hands tightened, and she squeaked out "Commander, are you all right?"

The increased pressure on her hands was enough to break Samantha's self imposed trance. She blinked, and then replied, "Uhm... Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that... That was...amazing, Liara." She hesitated before continuing, dropping Liara's hands. "So, Ilos. You recognize it, but don't know where it is? I've never heard of the Mu Relay... You don't just...lose...a star system!"

Liara shook her head. "The records are very old. The system had an unstable star that went supernova. It blew the system apart, tossing the relay to parts unknown, somewhere into deep space. It has never been found, at least not that we know of."

Garrus tossed his hat in the ring. "Great, so we need to find a relay that hasn't been seen in centuries, and it's us on one-each Normandy, versus Saren and an entire fleet of Geth, in a race to the finish. Not the best odds, Shepard."

Shepard disagreed, "Ah, but you're forgetting... he may not even know what he's looking for yet. Saren doesn't have Liara...so maybe he hasn't even identified the planet as Ilos. I'll bet we've got the jump on him; but how the heck do we find it?" The commander looked at Liara. "No pressure, Dr T'Soni, but you're our research expert. This one is all you. Let me know how I can help."

Having nothing to do with the meld being too taxing this time, Liara suddenly felt like she was going to faint all over again. All me? No pressure?

Shepard wrapped things up. "I guess we're finished here... just a couple of announcements. First, our next destination is Noveria in the Horse Head Nebula. Reports of Geth activity, so who knows what we'll find there. I do know we'll probably find a hostile bureaucracy, that doesn't recognize Alliance authority and hardly recognizes Spectres, so we won't get a lot of cooperation. Technically they are outside of Citadel Space, but there is an agreement granting me privileges, but the agreement has never been tested. We'll be able to dock the ship, and won't have to rely on a Mako drop, so I expect everyone to be ready to go. Initial team will be myself, Liara, and Garrus. Ash, you'll have Team 2 if we need backup, with Wrex and Tali. We've got a couple of days so get rested up. Be ready to roll when we make port."

Shepard glanced around...no questions, so she continued. "Second, I expect to see all of you at the memorial service for Lt Alenko, 1600 hrs if you didn't hear the announcement."

"Dismissed."

Sam returned to her quarters and started writing the letter to Kaidan's father. God, I hate these things! After an hour, she still wasn't completely happy with it, but had to give up to get into her Navy Dress Blues for Kaidan's memorial service. I'll finish it after the memorial, after I get some food in my stomach...and maybe a beer. Scratch the beer...that's a really bad idea. As Sam buttoned up her jacket, she started practicing what she was going to say at the ceremony, when her door chimed. She stopped and faced the door. "Come."

Liara walked in, face down, reading a datapad as she walked in. "Shepard, I've been doing some research on Noveria and the companies invested..." Liara's head raised and her eyes drank in the commander standing before her. Her steps slowed, and her hands slowly lowered, the datapad forgotten. "Goddess! Commander!" Liara stopped dead in her tracks. "You...You look...magnificent!" In the time she had been on the Normandy, she had never seen Samantha in anything but her utility uniform or her armor. In either of those she looked... powerful, sexy...as they augmented her angular, muscular physique. But this...this was obviously the formal uniform, and it looked vastly different. The gold trim highlighting its smooth dark blue lines, the way the cut fit her body, her battle ribbons earned with blood and pain proudly arrayed across a strong chest...It commanded respect...yet more intriguing, it showed Liara a refined side of Samantha she had never seen. Beneath the rough and tumble, beneath the guns and armor and utility pockets, there was most definitely a woman. Samantha, by merely changing her clothes, had moved from strong sexy to womanly sensual, the uniform surprisingly softening her lines and definitely accenting her more feminine side. Liara found herself totally unprepared for the emotions and desires that evoked.

"Normandy to T'Soni...You were saying? Research...Noveria...investors?" A quick light smile flashed across Sam's face, but she did not have time to deal with a distracted Asari at the moment...the memorial service was only 15 minutes from now. Still getting no response from the entranced Asari, Shepard took on a firm tone. "Liara!"

That startled the researcher, and a deep blush of embarrassment rushed up her neck and across her face. "Samantha...I am sorry... I have just never seen you in...this," indicating the uniform with a feeble motion of her hand. Liara finally recovered enough of her senses to continue. "In a formal dress uniform. You carry it...very well."

Sam was in full commander mode. "Nice to be appreciated, but I'm short on time. Memorial service in fifteen. What have you got?"

Sensing the unusual abruptness in Samantha's speech, Liara turned to business. "Sorry. I was researching Noveria and turned up some interesting information. Saren is a major stockholder in Binary Helix, and my mother is listed as his Executor for all business operations on Noveria."

That brought Sam up short. "Benezia is Saren's agent on Noveria?"

Liara looked at the floor, answering in a hesitant, quiet voice, "Yes, Commander."

One look at the expression on Liara's face and Shepard quickly realized the implications. Holy shit. Sam needed time to think about her approach to this news, so put Liara off. "Ok, we obviously need to discuss this, but we've got to get to the service. Join me for a private dinner, here in my cabin, tonight at 1900 hrs, and we'll talk. Acceptable?"

Sam noted the worried crease in Liara's forehead as she responded, "Yes, Commander. I'll see you at the service, and then I'll be here, as requested."

Sam felt she had somehow distressed the Asari with her request, and softened her stance, stepping to Liara and caressing a cheek before speaking. "Don't fret, Liara, we're just talking... and it will just be you and me. We'll figure it out. I gotta go. See ya soon, Blue!" Sam almost left Liara alone in her quarters before Liara snapped out of it and caught up, leaving along with Shepard to attend the service.

Liara had never been to a military memorial service and felt rather out of place. Dr Chakwas sensed her discomfort and caught her attention, waving her over. All the Navy personnel stood together in one group, most of the Marines in another, with a small contingent of four standing separately off to the side in a straight line. The outside two carried rifles, and the center two had flags; one was the Alliance flag, but Liara did not recognize the second. The two larger groups stood in perfectly straight lines, with their feet slightly apart and their hands clasped behind their backs. The Executive Officer, Lt Pressley, stood in the middle, at the front of both groups. When the Commander entered the bay, the Lt barked a sharp command, "Detail, Ten-hut!" and the two groups, in unison, clapped their heels together and stood ramrod straight, with their arms at their sides. Lt Pressley turned smartly about, and faced the commander, saluting. Commander Shepard returned the salute, both then dropping their arms. Liara noticed that when the command was issued, the remaining civilian personnel, like she and Karin, had fallen completely silent, but had not changed positions. A noticeable exception was Garrus. Even though in the civilian crowd, he stood at attention like the soldiers. Liara thought maybe she would ask him about that later.

Commander Shepard stood before them all, also at attention. When she spoke, "Parade, Rest!" the military members returned to the position of relative ease they had been in when she had originally entered, but everyone remained silent. The only sound was the gentle thrum of the Normandy's engines in the background. When Commander Shepard spoke, she did so in a deep, reverent voice that penetrated the silence of the Normandy.

"We are gathered here to honor the life of Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. He touched each of our lives in a different way. Most of us knew him as a brother-in-arms; some had the privilege to call him friend. Kaidan's easy going attitude had a calming influence on many of us, and I was always amazed at his ability to find peace and to bring it to others. Few people knew of the severe migraines he suffered if he overused his biotics...that's because Lt Alenko never complained. He was a soldier's soldier, dedicated to duty and dedicated to the mission. We all say we are prepared to give our life in defense of the ideals and freedoms we choose to protect, but relatively few of us are ever actually called upon to do so. If that day comes, we all pray we have the fortitude and strength to face it as Lt Kaidan Alenko did...without hesitation, without regrets, duty and honor foremost in our minds. Today, we lay a good Marine to rest, and our force is the lesser for it."

After a brief pause, Commander Shepard snapped to attention and barked, "Detail, Ten-hut!" Every member snapped to join her. "Present...Arms!" Every member snapped a salute in near perfect unison before the plaintive wail of a single horn played a song that almost made Liara sob. How can a single instrument sound so...forlorn? As the last note waivered and died, the commander dropped her salute, ordered "Order...Arms" and looked to the group of four, "Present the flag." The four marched forward until directly in front of the commander, dipping the flag that Liara did not recognize. She could now read it, and realized it belonged to the Alliance Marine Corps. Lt Pressley stepped forward and gathered it, removing it from the staff pole, the detail of four then reversing and returning to their original location. Pressley handed one end to the commander, and together they folded it, very precisely, into a triangle, Pressley taking it and smoothing all the final edges. The commander saluted Pressley once more, and he slowly reached out and handed the flag over to her. Samantha turned sharply, and placed the flag into a decorative box on a table Liara had not noticed earlier. The commander returned to her original position, then spoke very softly to Lt Pressley and said, "Dismiss the troops."

Lt Pressley turned sharply to face the formation, and issued the final command of the ceremony, "Fall Out!" The entire formation, both groups in unison and in perfect cadence, took a step backward, came back once more to attention, and did an about face, all heals coming together in a final position of attention with a resounding snap.

Liara was amazed when, at that point very evidently finished and after such precision, the group literally just crumbled apart, each individual suddenly going in their own direction, seeming eager to get away from such a reminder of mortality. I cannot blame them...It is...unsettling.

Liara started to walk toward Shepard when something made her stop. The commander had returned to the table and was respectfully sealing the flag display box, taking great care that the flag was perfectly positioned inside. She then picked it up and packed it very carefully into the shipping crate containing the remainder of Kaidan's personal belongings. Sam bowed her head and stood still, apparently saying her own personal final goodbyes. Liara couldn't see Samantha's face, but was sure her eyes were closed. Suddenly feeling like she was intruding on a highly personal moment, Liara turned and returned to the med bay, wondering if Karin was up to conversation.

Though outwardly calm and controlled, Samantha's insides were churning. Kaidan's death brought too many memories...all the friends she had lost over her years of service. As she placed the flag in the shipping crate, she came to accept the letter to Kaidan's father would never get any better. She would never find the words to ease the pain, to lessen the loss, or to bring Kaidan home to Vancouver. The words just plainly did not exist. She closed her eyes and hung her head in sorrow. She was called a hero, but no one knew better than her, the mistakes she had made. The bad calls that got people killed, the signals she'd missed causing her to act seconds too late to save one soldier or another. The mental list of names she carried with her of all the people who had died under her command...the name of every soldier for which she had ever needed to write one of those damn letters was burned in her memory, but the list was getting too long...now, one longer. She would write them down, tonight, before they got too numerous to recall from memory. They did not deserve to be forgotten, and she would do what it took to remember them all...to never forget the people who had placed their trust in her to get them home. The people she had failed. She had no idea how long she had been standing there, but when she sighed and picked up the crate, she realized she was very much alone in the room. She shook her head and walked slowly to her quarters, with the weight of one more dead Marine in her arms and on her heart.