14/7/00

Clarisse gave me quite a scare yesterday – she ran off again.

I went to see her in the morning again, but she wasn't in her suite, nor was she in her office. Charlotte said she'd left early and didn't tell anyone where she was going. I didn't understand why she neglected to tell me where she was going, it's my duty to look after her and know where she is at all times!

As I stormed off down the hallway I decided not to go on another royal goose chase, instead I spent all day pretending I didn't care and then talked to her upon return.

I was informed of her arrival at noon, so I quickly skipped to her office, went inside and dismissed the maids, Clarisse was sitting in her chair looking up at me with a smile.

"Hello Joseph, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I want an explanation."

She stood up and motioned her finger at me, "Come here."

"What?"

"Come here."

I took a few steps towards her desk and stopped still, she came around to my side and slipped her arms around my waist.

"Clarisse, this isn't an explanation and you know it."

"Is my being happy an explanation?"

"Perhaps if you gave me detail as to why you are happy."

"Touch me here."

Suddenly my hand was on her breast and she was smiling, "Clarisse if you're trying to seduce me-"

"It's gone!"

"What's gone?"

"The lump."

My eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

"Yes it turned out to be just a cyst, the doctor drained it on the spot."

"Oh my god! I am so relieved."

I wrapped my arms around her and momentarily lifted her off the ground, I then looked into her eyes and kissed her, "What made you decide to go?"

"I finally came to my senses."

"Nothing to do with my little speech then?"

She touched my face and resumed kissing me. As usual, it didn't last long as the doors burst open and Mia came skipping in. Immediately we broke apart, "Grandma, can we do something exciting today? Like seeing the sights or something. Or rock-climbing?"

I saw her tense, I guess the word 'rock-climbing' dug up memories about Philippe, "Rock-climbing? I don't think so darling."

"Come on, grandma, I wanna at least spend some time with you while I'm here."

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay if you're busy or something, I can find something else to do."

"No, I'd love to spend some time with you. Maybe we could…go shopping or-"

"Cool, can I drive?"

"But your mustang hasn't arrived yet."

"That's okay, Joe showed me a bunch of cars in the garage, he said I can drive one of them."

Clarisse crossed her arms and gave me a mean look, "Oh did he now?"

"Yeah, so if it's alright with you…"

She turned her attention back to Mia and looked at me again, "Alright, you can drive the hatchback, but..."

"Thanks grandma!"

She ran out of the room before Clarisse had a chance to finish, "Alright Joseph, explain why my car is going to end up at the auto repair station."

"I thought you wanted me to show her all aspects of the palace."

"I did, but-"

"Isn't the garage an aspect of the palace?"

"Yes…it's just…I rid myself of one load of stress and you dump another on my shoulders."

"My apologies, I shall thoroughly question your motives in the future."

"We'll talk about this later, drinks in my suite at eight. We're going to have a private celebration."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Good health."

I kissed her hand and smiled, then watched her walk to the door, "Are you coming with us?"

"For protection?"

"Yes."

"Do I have to? Shopping isn't really my thing…"

"Get the car and meet us in the lobby in about an hour."

"As you wish."

"Thankyou."

"Clarisse?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very proud of you."

"I wouldn't have gone if you didn't push me."

We met up an hour later in the said area and I looked Clarisse up and down. She'd had another one of her many wardrobe changes per day, I liked this suit though, it was a nice pink number. I smiled at her and kissed her hand, "Pretty in pink. My dear you look positively edible."

Widening her smile, she whispered into my ear, "Later, Joseph. Are we ready to go?"

"All set, your majesty. Where is the princess?"

"I'm right here Joe. So what are you two waiting for? Get in."

I attempted to open the door for Mia, but she did it herself as usual, Clarisse however, accepted my offer of helping her into the back seat. I jumped in the front with Mia and told her how to work the car, she seemed to get the hang of it…eventually. Altogether I think she must have stalled it twelve times before we exited the never ending driveway!

Shopping with women is not something I like to do on a regular basis, especially when I have to sit there reading women's magazine. Actually, come to think of it, I'm starting to enjoy reading about 'how to manually give myself a fulfilling orgasm' and I'm finding that '10 ways I can tell my partner I'm pregnant without giving away the secret that he's not the father' is becoming extremely useful. Okay I lied, I just like the quizzes. They're so informative and interesting and I always score high on them. Luckily nobody has ever caught me reading these magazines and I hope they don't – I'll be laughed at and teased. Mia spent about three hours straight trying on dresses and miscellaneous clothes. Obviously she's taking advantage of Clarisse's over-enthusiastic attitude towards paying for everything she asks for. I assume Mia is trying to milk her for as much as she can get before she has to go back to America and resume buying things with her own money. Clarisse didn't spend quite so much on herself, she mainly just commented on what Mia was picking out, but if she saw something she liked, which wasn't very often, she would purchase it. I was so relieved when Clarisse walked to where I was sitting and asked me to escort them to lunch. We had this nice meal at her favourite restaurant and then…god help me…more shopping. Mia was on a spree! It wasn't just clothes by then, she was going for CDs, DVDs and anything else she could muster. I think my love ended up spending over $20000 on her; I don't even spend that much in a year! Eventually I stepped in to say something, "Princess, don't you think you have enough possessions to last until the end of the holidays, or more precisely, the end of the year?"

"Well…I don't know, I do need a new hat."

"I'm sorry, we don't have time to acquire the desired item. Your majesty, I think you have dinner guests coming this evening?"

"Yes of course, the Motaz family. Mia I'm so sorry, we have to go now."

"Oh…are you busy tomorrow, grandma?"

"I…don't know…Joseph?"

"Flat out."

"The day after that?"

"Mia, you must learn this piece of information I'm about to tell you now while you're still young. When you're queen, you can't spend every day doing fun things, it's a lot of hard work."

"Your grandmother is right."

"Aww…are you free tomorrow, Joe?"

"NO!"

I think I said that a little too loud and quickly, "I mean, I have work to do also."

"Well I'll just have to stay at the palace and admire my new belongings."

"You do that. Shall we leave, your highness? Your majesty?"

"Joe, do you have to be so formal?"

"Forgive me, princess. Right! In ya get, guys, we're gonna be late for dinner!"

"That's better."

Clarisse giggled at my choice of words while Mia got back into the car, "Ready for another bumpy ride, Joseph?"

"Now that you mention it, I would rather walk."

"Ha, me too."

We reluctantly stepped into the car, which was a fairly difficult task, as the car was full of Mia's shopping bags, and then we drove home. During the trip, I heard things crashing around in the back when Mia hit the brakes too hard - I'm glad it wasn't my car, I'd have killed her.

At 8pm I went to Clarisse's suite and took off my jacket, dumping it on the floor. The bathroom light was on, so I opened the door and walked in. Clarisse was in there soaking in the tub with a glass of wine on the side and soft music playing in the background. I closed the door and walked over to her, she had her eyes closed and a big smile on her face, "You're looking very cheerful this evening for a woman who's just spent a day's salary on her granddaughter."

"Why wouldn't I be happy? She likes me."

I bent down and kissed her forehead, "The water looks warm."

"Are you asking for an invitation?"

"Are you offering?"

She smiled and touched my face with her soapy hands - that was all the answer I needed. I removed my clothes and slipped into the water with her. It's quite a large bathtub, at least twice the size of mine, which is pretty big. She swam over to me and leant against my chest, then she lifted my hands out of the water and looked at them, "Does this seem familiar to you Joseph?"

"A few days before your fiftieth birthday, I haven't forgotten."

"Mmm…I was so much happier back then."

"You weren't happy then Clarisse, I don't remember ever seeing you truly happy back then."

"Yes I was, Rupert was alive, Philippe was alive-"

"Your mother was alive."

She laughed, "Yes. God I hated her so much."

"I know."

"And you slept with her!"

"Must you bring that up?"

I noticed a sponge floating in the water and picked it up, rubbing her stomach with it and running it over her breasts.

"You know I feel that everything in my life went downhill after Rupert died."

That's a great way to make a guy feel loved! Implying that you were happier with your first husband instead of the love of your life, "Everything, darling?"

"Yes. After the funeral I started acting up badly, I drank, I smoked, I fought with you, I stressed! And then the cancer scare…"

She started shaking, but then calmed down, "And now everything is perfect. I'm happy again, I'm me again."

"You were always you, Clarisse."

"Really? You think so?"

"No, I just thought I'd say something comforting, to suit the mood."

She tilted her head to look at me and placed a kiss on my chin. I caressed her neck with my mouth and felt her lean back further and groan, "Would you like some wine?"

"No, thankyou. I have my natural high right here."

After giggling, she turned serious again, "What was the happiest day of your life?"

"I don't know…I'll have to think about it. What was yours?"

"Most people say their wedding day was the happiest day of their life, but not mine. Royal weddings, although beautiful, go on for far too long are become very boring very quickly. The happiest day of my life was the day I found out I had finally conceived a female child, but then the terrible accident."

"The miscarriage."

"Of course you remember, it was your fault!"

"How was it my fault? You were the one racing off on a horse when you were twelve weeks pregnant!"

"You were the reason I was running away!"

"No, you were going to run anyway, I just followed to make sure you were alright."

"No, you were-"

"Clarisse! I don't want to argue about this."

"Then don't."

I continued bathing her with the sponge while she lay against me moaning. Then a tear escaped her eye, "I wanted that child so much."

"I know you did."

"She was going to be my little Amelia."

"Mmm."

"She would have been twenty-eight this year. Oh well, I have my granddaughter to compensate for my loss."

"Children tend to bring joy."

"Does your boy bring you happiness, Joseph?"

"He always has."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"I don't know…a month maybe."

"I haven't seen Pierre for almost a year, he couldn't bear to coming back to the country after Philippe died."

"It's strange how much we miss our children."

"Mmm…it's a pity you and I didn't meet before I married Rupert. With your stern body and my superb looks, we could have made one heck of a beautiful child."

"I would have loved creating a child with you, in fact I used to dream about the life I knew we could never have together, and then I'd wake up to reality and punch the pillow in frustration."

"You wanted to have children with me?"

"Oh yes. Lots of children! Hundreds even!"

"Hundreds? If that were even possible, my darling, I'd have been extremely worn out."

We both laughed and squeezed each other tighter. At that moment I wished I could turn back the clock to when I was eighteen. If I had met her at that age I would have married her and had babies with her and we'd be happy forever and ever. If only…

"So Joseph, have you thought about what the happiest day of your life was?"

"The day I met you."

"Sure it was…"

"Alright, I lied…I think I can honestly say the happiest day of my life was when you told me you loved me and then we expressed how we felt about each other."

"Joseph."

"Mmm?"

"That was a night, not a day."

We continued lying there talking for a while and then both fell silent as she slowly faced me and wrapped her arms around my neck. We looked into each other's eyes and gently resumed kissing. Soon after, we heard Mia knocking at the door, "Grandma, are you in there?"

Clarisse pulled away from me and sat up properly, "Yes I'm in here."

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"Actually I'd prefer you to stay where you are because...uh…"

She motioned with her hands for me to give her a reason, but I made the same motion back to her, because I couldn't think of anything.

"Because I was just about to get out anyway," she finally blurted out.

"Okay then."

Before getting out of the bath, Clarisse leant in really close to me and whispered, "Why didn't you lock the main door?"

"I forgot!"

"Make a noise and you're dead."

She wrapped a towel around herself and walked out of the room, careful not to let her granddaughter peek in. I stayed in the bath and listened to them talking through the paper-thin walls. After a few minutes Mia said something that really pricked my ears, "Oh yeah, by the way, why is there a leather jacket on your floor?"

And then Clarisse cleverly replied with, "It's your grandfather's old jacket, I like to wear it sometimes to remind myself of him."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so insensitive..."

"It's quite alright. So Mia, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I just wanted to thank you for buying me all that really neat stuff today."

"Not a problem, you enjoy it."

"Thanks."

They talked for a while on different matters and then Mia asked if she could use the bathroom. I panicked, what was I to do? Hide in the shower? Climb out the window? Not necessary, Clarisse handled the situation, a little too eagerly I must say, "NO! YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE!"

But she cleverly managed to cover it up with, "I mean my waste depository centre isn't working at the moment, I must have somebody come and repair it, sorry."

"Waste depository centre? Toilet, grandma! It's called a toilet!"

"Well whatever you want to call it, it isn't working."

"That's okay, I'll just hold on until I get back to my own room."

"Suite, Mia! It's called a suite!"

"Night, grandma."

"Goodnight my darling."

I was so relieved when I heard the door close, I was able to move again. The water was beginning to get cold and my knee was sore from staying in the one position for so long. Clarisse walked back in and put her hand on her chest as she fell back against the wall in relief, "That was too close. Why did you have to leave your jacket in my sitting room?"

"I didn't mean to, that's just where I dropped it. I trust it's safe to move now?"

"Is the water still warm?"

"Freezing."

"Oh, you'd better get out then, wouldn't want you to catch a cold now."

"No."

As I stood up and shook myself off, I noticed Clarisse's eyes were fixed on my body, "What do you think you're staring at, your majesty?"

"I'm not staring," she smiled.

I walked over to her and pressed her up against the wall, "Oh yes you are."

"Do you blame me?"

"No, I am rather attractive."

"Shall we take this conversation to the bedroom?"

"Shouldn't I put on some pyjamas first?"

"No, you won't need them in there."

"I like the sound of that."

Taking her hand, I led her into the bedroom and watched her climb under the sheets, pulling them over her head. Thinking she was attempting to start a game, I decided to have a little fun with her, "Oh my, where did Clarisse go? Is she behind the curtains? No."

She giggled, but remained under the covers.

"Is she under the bed? No."

I twiddled my thumbs and pretended not to know where she was, "Where could she be? Perhaps in the cupboard? No, she's not there either."

Her giggling was becoming louder and more frequent, "Well, I just don't know where she could be. Wait a minute, what's this I hear coming from underneath the covers?"

I pulled back the sheet and acted surprised, "There you are!"

Joy spread throughout the room as I started tickling her and kissing her whenever and wherever I could, she seemed really happy. Even I was laughing, which is not something I do very often, I just had fun being with her knowing she's healthy now and isn't under any stress. She was able to thoroughly enjoy herself for the first time in months.

"You see my darling, this is the Clarisse I fell in love with."

The smile on her face softened as she kissed me, "I like being her."

"My dear?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me someday our love will be acknowledged."

It took her longer than I expected for her to answer, but she did tell me what I wanted to hear, "Someday, I promise."

That made me really happy, she agreed that we would go public. When? I don't know, soon I hope. I'd love to be able to walk into her suite without the guards giving me funny looks and wondering why I don't come out until morning. Mia was the only one, apart from the guards at the door, who managed to catch me coming out of Clarisse's suite this morning and she could not keep her eyes off my jacket – I suspect she's onto us, but if she is, then why didn't she say anything?

16/7/00

Amelia caught me sneaking out of Clarisse's suite again this morning, I was gently closing the door behind me and she just came up and yelled, "Hey Joe, is grandma awake yet?"

I almost jumped out of my pants, that was how Lauren used to greet me when I was up to no good, "No, she's still sleeping. What are you doing up so early?"

"I wanted to get to her before she makes plans for the day. I wanna spend some time with her."

"Your grandmother's schedule is always full. Why not make an appointment with Charlotte?"

"I have to make an appointment to see my own grandmother?"

"When your grandmother's the queen you do."

"God…hey Joe?"

"Yes princess?"

"Are you busy today?"

"Not really, why?"

"Remember you said I was going to meet your son?"

I totally forgot I had said that, "Oh! Right yeah. Today? I'll have to call him first and tell him we're coming."

"Kay. I'll just have a shower and get changed, then I'll meet you out the front in an hour."

"As you wish, princess."

After asking permission from Clarisse, I called Sammy and told him we were going to visit making sure he understood he was not to mention anything about Clarisse and I. Afterwards I went to get Mia – naturally, she wanted to drive there, so of course I let her. Much to my relief, her driving had improved since the other day, so I didn't have to grip onto the seat and tear it to shreds. We arrived at four and walked up the front steps, I knocked on the door and Sammy answered it. I was so happy to see my son after so long and just as happy to see my grandson.

"Dad! You're here!"

As I dragged him into a hug, he looked behind me and said, "You must be Princess Amelia, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Joe's told me so much about you. And please, just call me Mia."

"As you wish, your highness."

After greeting everybody else (Catherine and Little Joseph), we all started talking and having a nice time. Mia and Catherine had a lot in common, they spent ages talking privately, they wouldn't even let Sammy and I know what they were talking about.

Little Joe has started smiling now, it's so adorable because he's got these big blue eyes and soft blonde hair – in a way he reminds me of Clarisse. I love watching my grandson, I spent half an hour holding him in my arms, studying his face and smiling while talking to Sammy at the same time. We ate dinner and once again I was left with Sammy and Little Joseph while Catherine and Mia were privately talking again. I assumed their conversations consisted of girly things like clothes, make-up and boys – I was right. Well about the boys part anyway, Mia told me on the way home that they were talking about her boyfriend, Michael. Apparently things aren't going as well as she'd hoped with him because practically immediately after they got together, she was shipped over to a foreign country (this one) on duty. He's supposed to be visiting Genovia with his sister sometime soon, but I'm not sure when. It will be a relief on my part though, because they're supposedly bringing Mia's car over, so I figure she'll spend her time wrecking her mustang rather than Clarisse's hatchback.

I'm not sleeping in Clarisse's suite tonight for a change, instead I'm in my own suite attempting to fall asleep, but not having any luck. I think I might try again now, so I'll say goodnight here.

This took soooo long to write! I had a bit of blockage and distraction for the duration. It's nice that youse like the longer chapters because sometimes I have heaps to write.

Dinosaur, what's up with the rawring? You do it to everyone, I've noticed, except one person.

Jools I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by cancer being an infectious disease, I don't recall using the word infectious.

I did read up on breast cancer before I started writing, so whatever I've written is based on what I read from that particular website.

Anyway, hope youse enjoyed this chapter, I didn't particularly, but hey, it's my own writing – I know what's going to happen lol.

R & R!