26/7/00

I haven't slept in the same bed as Clarisse for what seems like weeks, when really it's only been a few days. What I'm trying to do is become inconspicuous until Amelia leaves, as I don't wish for her to catch me again coming out of Clarisse's suite in the morning and teasing me about it like Lauren used to do. To be truthful, I haven't slept beside Clarisse since the last time Amelia caught me, and to my surprise I haven't been bugged by her teasing me about the times she did catch me.

For some unknown reason, Clarisse was avoiding me earlier, although I don't know why, she just took a glance at me as I was walking down the hall and walked straight into her suite without even acknowledging me or asking me in...strange behaviour, but then again when is she ever normal around me?

Mia will be leaving in two days time along with Michael and Lilly – she only agreed to stay for two weeks during the holidays and she's been here for almost three. I think she must be missing her homeland by now, I know I missed Genovia when we were in America. Her leaving isn't such a bad thing as I'll be able to spend my nights with Clarisse again without being hassled, but I'm sure I'll miss the girl. Throughout the last week of her holiday here in Genovia, Mia has been attending dinner parties with important people and meeting parliament members and all the counts and countesses. I can imagine she wouldn't have anything to talk about with them since she is a teenager and they'd be talking to her about stock prices and other adult topics she has no knowledge of. She must get terribly bored around them.

A dinner was held in honour of the princess and her friends at the Motaz's house this evening as a farewell from the Prime Minister and his family. Usually Sebastian would ask me to dine with them, but I think Clarisse might have persuaded him not to this evening.

I wonder why she doesn't like me? Is she still scared Mia will find out about us even though she already knows? I honestly have no idea! She's been acting weird all week, perhaps there's something medically or mentally wrong with her? I hope not.

After speaking with Harry and Barry (the two limo drivers) for a few hours, Clarisse, Mia, Michael and Lilly came out of the house and said their last goodbyes to Sebastian and his wife. They then walked to the limo and climbed in: Mia, Michael and Lilly in one, Clarisse in the other. Naturally I rode in the front seat of Mia's, as Clarisse for some reason doesn't seem to be talking to me. When we got home I bid Mia and friends goodnight and then started following Clarisse up the staircase. She walked all the way to her suite, gave me a disapproving look and then walked in, slamming and locking the doors behind her. What have I done? Honestly! I haven't forgotten anything! I haven't had an affair! And I certainly haven't done anything to upset her…I don't think. God what if I have and I don't know what it is? I'd better talk with her tomorrow.

27/7/00

"Clarisse?" I whispered as I slowly walked into her room early this morning and sat carefully on the bed, "Clarisse are you awake?"

She stirred, but kept her eyes shut, "Mmph."

"Clarisse?"

I gently pulled the doona away from her chest and ran my hand over her face, waking her slightly, but not quite, "Clarisse?"

A sigh escaped her mouth as she opened her eyes and stared at the table beside her bed, adjusting herself to the daylight.

"Good morning."

Her eyes widened at the realisation I was in the room, but she said nothing, she just took a deep breath and looked at the clock.

"My darling, I haven't done anything to upset you, have I?"

She dropped her legs out of the bed and raised an eyebrow, to me that was a yes.

"I have, haven't I? Would you mind telling me what?"

Still she didn't speak, nor did she make eye-contact or indicate in any way that she was pleased to have me there, "Tell me."

I watched her walk into her closet, she chose a grey suit to wear and a black scarf. Clarisse only ever wears grey when she's upset. Over the past few years I've learnt what every colour in her wardrobe means and have compiled a list:

Black means she's either mourning or feeling fat.

Yellow means she's either borderline happy or summer has just begun.

Light blue means she's either cheerful or pleasant.

Dark blue means it's strictly business/non-feminem.

White generally means she's either happy or content.

Pink means she's feeling very happy or very feminem.

Red means she's either feeling proud or is openly hungry for love.

Green means she's feeling unsure about something.

Purple means she's feeling fine.

Grey, as I said, is what she wears when she's upset.

And orange is a colour I believe she wouldn't be caught dead in, unless she were wearing a ball gown or one of the lighter shades of orange.

I also have a list of the types of clothes she wears, eg: Conservative, revealing etc and what they mean, but I won't list them.

This grey suit she was wearing was very conservative and it was grey, which meant she was really, really upset, yet she wouldn't tell me why. She wouldn't even speak to me or look me in the eye, instead she looked sideways at the wall and walked out of the room. Of course I followed her and asked her what was wrong, but she didn't tell me, she simply marched to her office and started the day. Her ladies maids and everyone else was in the room, so I asked them all to leave and then sat across from Clarisse, staring into her eyes as she signed her name at the bottom of a piece of paper.

"This is stupid, tell me what's wrong. I'm positive I'm the one you're angry at, but why? I've done nothing wrong!"

Her eyes were fixated on the piece of paper in front of her; she hardly acknowledged that I was there.

"Fine, when you get over this little hissy-fit you're throwing, we'll talk."

Deciding to stop trying to find out what was wrong until later, I left to do my rounds - I checked to see that the security cameras were in order, I checked on the men who were supposed to be watching them but were actually playing scrabble instead, I kept tabs on where the princess was etc.

Mia had been following me for a while before I noticed her, she wanted me to take her and her friends to the movies. The way she asked me made it hard for me to say no – she put on this cute little phoney voice and quietly whispered, "Joe, you know how you love me and would do anything for me?"

I became suspicious, "Yeees?"

"Will you please take Lilly, Michael and I to the movies? Grandma says I can't go without you."

Long story short, I agreed and off we went.

The movie we saw was called, "Castaway", it had this volleyball in it called Wilson and the guy talked to it as if it were a real person because he was going insane from living on a deserted island. I'm not quite sure if it was supposed to be amusing or not, but I found it thoughroughly entertaining.

On the way home I had to Listen to Mia and her friends shouting, "Willlllllsooooon!" out the windows repeatedly, it was funny for the first five minutes they were doing it, but it got old fast and I had to put the privacy screen up to drown out the voices. When we got back at four, I was anxious to see Clarisse, but nobody would tell me where she was and I couldn't find her anywhere! She wasn't in her suite, nor was she in her office, and she wasn't anywhere else I looked, so I decided to retire for the evening and I will speak to her in the morning…again.

28/7/00

Clarisse certainly is becoming quite sensitive in her old age – I found out what her problem was…

I went in to see her this morning, but like yesterday she was still asleep. Stroking her hair I looked on her nightstand, there was a photo album lying open so I picked it up, took note of what page it was on and turned to the beginning. As I leant against the head of the bed frame and observed the photos, I noticed how very neatly laid out everything was. She must have had a lot of time on her hands when she put all the photos in because it looks as if she's used a ruler to level them precisely. Anyway, the start of the album was filled with photos from what I believed was her early childhood – when she was about seven years old I'd say. It was the first time I remembered seeing photos of her as a girl, she was absolutely adorable…well in the photos where she was smiling she was adorable.

Half of the photos showed her angry, those were the ones which had her mother in them, which wasn't many. She looked very cheerful in the ones with her father, but her mother...well I guess she hated her all along. All of the photos in that section and the next were in black and white.

The second section of the album showed her as a teenager and guess who was in half of the pictures? Chester! Well I think it was him anyway…it looked a lot like him. In every photo they were either kissing or touching each other in some way, it disgusted me, I hate him so much!

There were so many photos of the two of them together, she must have cared for him very much and I bet she still does. The next section of photos were mainly of Rupert and their wedding day, oh and some of the two of them at public events – she didn't look happy in any of them except for this one photo where they were kissing. I'm guessing it was taken just after she gave birth to Pierre, because she was holding a baby in her arms with exhaustion spread across her face and long hair that fell down in all the right places. It looked as if the photo was taken without their knowledge, they looked so happy and cheerful. After flicking through photos of the boys when they were young and this familiar man I can't quite put my finger, I found a few pictures of me. That's sweet, she keeps photos of me. I don't think they were ones I actually posed for, they were mainly just ones of me sleeping, wearing nothing but a pair of black jeans. Other photos of me appeared to be taken while I was out walking in the garden and another was my resume photo from I think 1972…sigh….I had hair then.

It suddenly dawned on me that Clarisse must take photographs of me whenever I'm not watching, but I've never seen her with a camera. Hmm…this makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable, yet also somewhat flattered.

At the very end of the album was the strip of photos containing her and I in the photo booth in San Francisco, one of many times she's tried to seduce me and failed. I'd been wondering for a while what happened to those photos and it turns out she had them all along! Clarisse began to stir as I looked them over, giggling at the stupidity of her actions that day…a few minutes later she was wide awake. I'd already put the album back on the nightstand by then and turned it to the page she had left it on, which was a good thing because I don't think she'd want me looking though it. I don't think she'd want anybody looking through it, why else would there be a lock on the side?

Before she woke, I moved myself on top of her so to get her full attention when she noticed I was in the room. It worked; she opened her eyes after rubbing them and stared at me with her mouth wide open, she probably wondered why my body was lying atop hers so early in the morning. Noticing she was about to scream, I clasped my hand over her mouth, "Listen to me," I started, while at the same time holding her face so she couldn't look away, "Something is wrong and you're going to tell me. It's not a request, it's not an option, it's what I'm telling you to do. Now you will tell me what's wrong and you will give me the silent treatment no more. Understand?"

She bit my hand and tried to wiggle her way out from underneath me, but it didn't work, "Clarisse if we want to get through this you'll have to open the lines of communication."

"Get off me!" She mumbled as she once again tried to lift my weight from her body, I pushed her harder into the bed and stared her in the eye.

"Well that's certainly the most you've said to me in the past week, would you mind telling me why you're upset? I can do this all day if I have to."

Rolling her eyes she looked to the ceiling and stretched out her arms, yawning as she lay them down to rest beside her. I liked the look of the way she moved as she did this, if I weren't so curious to find out what was wrong with her, I'd have felt quite turned on.

"Clarisse?"

Obviously realising I was serious, she gazed tiredly into my eyes and shook her shoulders, "You want to know what's wrong with me, Joseph?"

I nodded, "Indeed I do."

"It's you!"

She tried to get up again, but I grabbed her arms and held them down on the pillow, "What about me? What have I done?"

A tear fell down her cheek, "You don't love me anymore…"

My stomach filled with butterflies, "What makes you think that?"

"You've been avoiding me!"

"Avoiding you? On the contrary, my dear, I have had an incredibly difficult time trying to get you alone."

"You haven't tried to get me alone all week, that's the point! I wait for you every night to come through that door to see me, but do you ever show up? No!"

I touched my forehead to hers and cringed my face, half laughing, half kicking myself at the realisation of her words.

"Why are you laughing? It's not funny!"

"Oh Clarisse…my dear, sweet, naïve Clarisse. I haven't been avoiding you, I've been keeping a low profile. Your granddaughter-"

"What about her?"

"She knows about us."

"Oh, so as well as avoiding me, you've been keeping me in the dark about the knowledge of my own granddaughter?"

"I told you, I wasn't avoiding you!"

"But you've been lying again."

I allowed her to escape by pushing me onto the other side of the bed where I watched her walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"I didn't exactly lie to you."

"Oh? What would you call it then?"

I paused and walked over to the door, "Not exactly…um…telling you the truth."

"Lying in other words!"

From inside the bathroom I could hear splashing water, "I'm sorry, I wanted to protect you, to relieve some added stress."

"And you think you relieved it? It's doubled now thanks to you!"

"At least now you don't have to put up with it, Amelia leaves for America in four hours!"

The bathroom door slammed open and she came out patting her face with a towel, "Don't have to put up with it? I now have to live everyday with the constant reminder that she knows too much about my private life!"

"She doesn't care about your private life! She just wants you to be happy!"

"Oh pull the other one…"

"It's true, she said it herself!"

She threw the wet towel onto her bed and glanced at me, "Mia said that?"

I nodded, "Yes."

She didn't say anything after that, she just sighed and then got herself ready for breakfast.

I spoke to her later on as the plane took off, she needed comfort and support – she had practically just met her granddaughter and already they were parting. She leant against my chest in the limo on the way home and stared tiredly out the window, when we got home I put her to bed after giving her a bath and then walked back to my room. I can't believe she was upset just because she thought I was avoiding her! So she really does love me.

A very loooong A/N:

Okay, I haven't updated, because if you read the review I wrote, you'd know I was too scared to sign in because I have spyware. I didn't get a new hard drive, but I don't care anymore, nor do I think the spyware is as serious a problem now, so…

Anyway, in the next chapter I'm going to jump ahead to the 2nd movie cos I'm bored with all this fill-in chapter crap and I really want to get to the after Mia becomes queen part. I have lots of drama, action and car-thrashing plans – should be better than they sound.

I'm also changing my username to Naseka, because for quite some time I haven't liked the name Pokimon.

In reply to "Glitterbug47":

Since you took the time to write a very long, very well written review of my story (if I mau say so), I'm going to try not to be a smart-ass in my reply. I agree that it is one of the most unbelievable C/J story and yes, also that they are very much out of character most of the time, but that makes the story much more interesting for me to write. If I stayed in character all the time I'd be bored shitless! I feel that Joseph acting like a teenager adds occasional humour to the story and Clarisse's drug abuse is just something I wanted to put in to add realism and as Rebecca said a while ago it made it seem as though Clarisse actually cared for Rupert. In the first movie Clarisse did seem a little like a selfish woman to me, not attention seeking as I've made her out to be, just selfish because she seemed to be using Amelia to secure the throne. That's how I saw that movie anyway.

And in my story, she doesn't really 'sleep around', she just sleeps with people she knows, trusts and has feelings for - her ex, Joseph, Rupert and another person we won't find out about until later (you could probably guess who it is if you look hard enough).

The whole Joseph sleeping with her mother thing I thought would add a touch of humour and shock, and why would he sleep with her again after he finds out who she is? Because he'd done it before, why not again? In real life it is more likely to happen.

The screaming sex sessions are to be explained in a later chapter when 'all is revealed', I have had the chapter in mind ever since the first screaming sex session.

Anyway, Clarisse didn't say there wasn't any passion; in my opinion she just said they weren't in love. Fondness is just the step before love, which Clarisse and Rupert couldn't climb.

Anyway, thanks for telling me what you don't like about the story, I had fun reading and replying to it. I pretty much do agree with most of your thoughts, but I don't understand why you bothered reading every single chapter instead of stopping altogether. That was certainly a waste of ten hours. Oh well, your choice.

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed.