I'm finally beginning to feel human again, but if this chapter is too crack-y, blame it on my still being sick when I wrote it.

Chapter 56.

"House? Where do you think you're going?" Cuddy stopped me before I could reach the operating theater.

I'd been hoping to resolve this before she even found out about it. Not that it was my fault or that of my team, but it took five hours for us, that is for ME, to realize there'd been a mistake. Maybe if I got her to focus on whoever had sent Natalie to us and Estelle to the OR, she'd ignore the team's part in it. "The idiots in Gerontology sent a patient for surgery instead of to my team. Being old and forgetful must be catching."

"What are you talking about?"

"Fredericks sent us a patient with high platelet levels, only that patient, Estelle, wound up in the OR."

"So who were you treating?"

"A woman named Natalie Kelsey, who was here for gall bladder surgery. So if you don't want Estelle to lose the gall bladder that she might still need, you'll let me go in there."

Cuddy hesitated. "Who's the surgeon? I'll call and stop the procedure." She started for the observation booth.

"How should I know who the surgeon is!" I followed Cuddy to the observation room so I was there when she pick up the intercom and ordered him to stop the operation.

"We'll bring you the correct patient in a short time." Then she turned to me. "Where is she?" Cuddy didn't look happy.

Cuddy commandeered an orderly with a gurney on the way to the room. I realized belatedly that Chase and Thirteen still didn't know they were testing the wrong patient. As unobtrusively as possible, I texted Chase. "No more tests. Wrong patient." I could only hope he got the message.

Natalie was chatting with Chase when we arrived. "We'll take you for your surgery now," I said, indicating that the orderly should transfer her to the gurney.

Chase raised an eyebrow at me, but played along. "You'll be so much better afterwards."

I let Cuddy take her away. It would be more than a half hour before anyone brought Estelle to us. Meanwhile, I told Chase about the mix-up.

"These things should never happen!"

"If Taub and Foreman had bothered to check her wristband, they would have caught the mistake earlier. But there's nothing we can do about it now, except examine Estelle when she gets here, and find out why her platelet count is so high."

"Does Hadley know?" Chase asked.

"About the switched patients? Not yet."

"Don't tell her right away."

"What are you planning?" I asked with a smirk. Chase could be as devious as I was.

"I'm not sure yet how to play it, but the less she knows the better."

I nodded my approval.

"What about Jess?" he asked.

"Jess knows. And so do Taub and Foreman now, so you'd better swear them to secrecy before they blab to Thirteen."

The door slid open and another gurney was wheeled in. The woman on it was older than Natalie Kelsey. She was still under the influence of the anesthetic they'd fed her.

"There lies Estelle Allen, a woman mistreated. Have your way with her," I told Chase.

"It'll be my pleasure," he replied, and I left him to it. Now that we had a patient who matched up with the file we were sent, I was sure the team would find out what was wrong with her without any more help from me.

I felt that I'd accomplished a great feat and it was almost time to go home. But before I could leave, Wilson knocked at my door. "What's this I hear about a patient mix-up?"

"Do you believe everything people tell you?"

"In this case I do. I know for a fact that at least part of it is true."

"All fixed."

"But how did it happen in the first place?"

"Not my concern. And if you're going to imply it was my fault, I'll have you know that I was the one to correct the mistake."

"You?"

"Yeah. Ask Cuddy. And my reward is that I'm going home early."

"You always go home early."

"And your point is?" I started to walk past him.

"House," he called.

"What?"

"How much do you want that condo?"

"What does that have to do with anything? Are you planning to put in a good word with your ex-wife for me?"

"I might."

"Speak."

"Suppose I told you that the third bidder is a plant, a shill."

"Bonnie's resorting to tricks to jack up the price? I thought she was working for me. And Jess, too, I suppose. The only one who'd benefit from that is the seller." I thought that over. "She's in collusion with the seller?" I was not going to let him know what I really suspected,

Wilson, on the other hand, was willing to let me think whatever I wanted, whether it was true or not. "I wouldn't put it past her. She'll do anything to make a sale."

"Maybe you can find out who the owner is so I can lean on him."

Wilson shrugged. "It's probably a matter of public record."

"That's true. What did Jess want earlier?"

"Jess?"

"I saw her visit your office."

"She was just griping about the third bidder."

"Did you tell her what you suspect?"

"I told her it was a possibility. She didn't look too happy about it."

"I'm not either." His supposition was actually plausible, but I was more convinced than ever that he was behind the third bid. "I guess I can confront Bonnie once I find out who the owner is."

Wilson frowned. "Maybe I should do that for you."

"Are you afraid of what I might say to her? If what you suppose is true, she deserves whatever I dish out."

"But if you still want to have a shot at buying the condo, you might want to tread lightly with Bonnie."

"Make up your mind. I thought you wanted me to let Jess have the place."

"That's true."

"I guess I can think about it tonight and decide how to handle the situation tomorrow."

He nodded. "See you then."

I finally was able to head to my car and drive home. There was a lot for me to talk to Jess about. I wanted to hear what Wilson told her and whether she believed his suspicions about the third bidder. It might be time to end this. I wondered what would happen if I told Bonnie that I couldn't meet Jess' price or that of the other bidder.

The first thing I did when I arrived home was to run a search on the owner of record for the condo. Okay, the first thing was to get a beer, but that hardly counts. At any rate, the owner was a woman named Ethel Hardwick. What I learned about Ethel when I searched further brought a smile to my face. Now, how was Wilson going to explain this?

Jess arrived home at five thirty. If she was surprised to see me grinning, she didn't say anything.

"Wilson told you his 'suspicions' about the third bidder?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Would you believe that the owner is an eighty-five-year-old widow named Ethel Hardwick?"

"Hardly the type to be colluding with Bonnie to jack up the price."

"Exactly. So which of us should ask Wilson about that?"

"I'll be happy to," she said. She was grinning as broadly as I was. "And you'll be happy to know I've thought of a way to subtly disclose our relationship."

"Do tell!"

"Well, once I've purchased the condo, and you've convinced everyone how heartbroken you are over losing it..."

"...hardly heartbroken..."

"Anyway, I can ask them to help me move in."

"And when I show up, they'll realize something strange is going on."

"No. That's the beauty of it. You won't have to show up. I assume they've all been here at one time or another."

"Yes."

"So when the moving people begin to unload your piano, and your couch, and..."

She didn't have to finish. I was laughing at the picture I was getting of the astonishment on the faces of my team and my BFF. Leave it to Jess to come up with something almost as clever as I would.