Still 17/8/04

Well I honestly don't know what to say. Clarisse has once again laid another surprise on me, but unlike the many other times she's surprised me over the years, this was by far a most delightful event. I'm writing this in her suite because she left to visit her granddaughter just a minute ago and I have about 10 minutes left in which to write what's happened to me since this morning. Today was supposed to be Mia's wedding day, but a slight change of plans ended it as mine.

When I reached the princess's suite this morning I found her staring at herself in the mirror with her ladies maids surrounding her. I noticed she looked a little off-colour, so I dismissed everybody and asked her what the matter.

"I don't want to do this, Joe," she practically whispered as I stood behind her.

"I know you don't."

"I'm not ready to be married."

"Nobody's forcing you."

"Yes they are. If I don't marry Andrew today my family will lose the crown."

I hung my head and sighed while she stared at me, "Don't you have any advice for, Joe? You always have advice."

"I'm sorry princess, but due to my own emotional inconveniences I'm unable to think straight. The best advice I could give you is if you can't join them, beat them."

"That's an odd bit of advice."

"Well I'm feeling odd. Are you ready to leave, princess? The wedding begins in an hour."

Her face went pale when I said that and she tried to reassure herself by saying, "I am calm, I am in control and I am ready."

She repeated the words as she stepped towards me about to take my hands, then suddenly she got an attack of cold feet and ran into my arms, "How do I get out of this, Joe?"

"You'll figure something out, my dear, you always do. And even if you do end up marrying him, then you'll know you've done a great thing for your country. Don't stress yourself out by the constant reminder that you're not in love with him right now, just give it some time and you'll see."

Shaking her head she cried, "Grandma told me love never grows under pressure."

"It did for me and my ex-wife."

"But it won't for me!"

"Well even if he doesn't love you, remember I always will."

"Thankyou, I know it's not the same kind of love, but thanks Joe. I love you, too," she sobbed once more into my arm before letting go.

"Come on," I whispered, "The time has come."

The ride to the church seemed to take forever. Mia sat on the edge of the seat, gripping the material of her dress, while I stared out the window thinking about you know who. I caught a glimpse of her climbing into a limo as I was escorting the princess out of the palace to our waiting carriage, she was wearing what I thought at the time was the most ugliest jacket I have seen her wear, excluding the one she wore the day after Mia's beach incident in San Francisco all those years ago. The dress she wore underneath however, was absolutely stunning. It was a lovely blue number with golden leaves printed all over it. According to my colour chart, blue means strictly business. At first I wondered whether she was wearing it to show me that last night was purely a business affair and nothing more, but that didn't make sense, so I stopped analysing her choice of clothing and the carriage took off.

After we were well outside the palace walls, I turned to Mia and held her hand, she was shaking, "I'm scared Joe. I am so, so scared."

I hushed her and held her in my arms kissing her forehead, "Don't worry about it, it will be all over within a couple of hours."

"I'm not talking about the wedding, I'm talking about what happens after the wedding."

"How do you mean?"

"The wedding night, tomorrow morning, every day for the rest of my royal life! How am I supposed to live with a man I don't love and have absolutely no physical attraction to? Andrew's a nice guy and all, but I'm not in love with him. At least with Michael I thought I was in love so it wasn't all that bad. But now that I've experienced what true love really is, I can't bring myself to marry Andrew."

"You're upset about Nicholas."

"Yes! I know he set me up and all and it was a terrible thing to do to a person, but for some reason, I still love him."

I felt I had a duty to tell her about Nicholas and how he didn't actually set her up, but then I thought about Genovia's future and decided to keep my mouth shut.

"I'm so confused, I just don't know what to do, you know? I mean I really don't want to marry Andrew."

"Princess, I'm going to say something to you and it's all I'm going to say on the matter until we get to that church. My dear, this is your life and only you can decide how you choose to live it. Today is about you, nobody else. Whatever you decide today should make you happy. You can't please everyone, so simply please yourself."

I wasn't sure if my words helped her, but I just couldn't stand her complaining about her life when I had mine to think about. I mean, at least someone had agreed to marry her and was going to go through with it!

I sat there for the remainder of the journey thinking about Clarisse and how she's like a virus. A walking, talking virus you can't rid yourself of no matter how hard you try. I thought about how much I hated her and how much I couldn't wait to leave the palace for good, but then we arrived at the church and everything changed.

Mia was gripping my arm so hard as we walked up the steps, so I told her to be strong, I reassured her that everything would be all right and I half-believed my words for a moment. Upon entering the church we were greeted by Clarisse, I looked away as she spoke to Mia and offered her support and comfort. Almost immediately after a warm moment the two shared, Clarisse went into business mode and asked, no, told her granddaughter to meet with her bridesmaids. She and Lilly went off somewhere privately for a while and I was left alone with Clarisse. Quickly I gave my apologies and informed her I was required elsewhere, which was a lie. I actually left to stand against the back wall of the church, where I then saw her walk down the aisle to take her seat.

It took 10 minutes for the ceremony to officially begin and I spent every second of that time staring at Clarisse. She knew I was looking at her, but didn't let it show, she just went on pretending she hadn't noticed me and that everything was fine.

While in a trance, I discovered that Princess Mia was talking to me, she told me she was aware of my plans to retire. I thought the only people who knew about that were Clarisse, Charlotte and yours truly. My guess is that the maids were the first to find my letter of resignation.

Since Mia presented the opportunity, and since I had been waiting for a chance to tell her, I told her about Nicholas and how he didn't set her up, which I think made her reconsider marrying Andrew.

After our little chat, Charlotte came up and told me it was time for the Princess to walk down the aisle. I still have trouble looking Charlotte in the eye because of what happened between us the other night, but she seems fine with it. I just can't forgive myself, I don't know how she can.

Anyway, Mia was halfway down the aisle when the wedding started to get interesting - she stopped and ran out the door. When she didn't come straight back, Clarisse followed her and as head of security, I followed Clarisse. I kept the obligatory short distance away and tried to listen in on what was being said, but to no avail. The conversation didn't go on for very long, as when I looked towards them, I saw Mia walking back into the church. Clarisse started following her, but stopped in front of me for a brief second. She looked at me as if I were in the way, which I thought was stupid since I was standing there first, but nevertheless I stepped to the side and glared at her as she re-entered the church.

I watched the bottom of her dress sway from side to side as she ascended the steps and I became quite infatuated. Her legs were really beautiful, so smooth, silky and sexy. Her behind swayed so seductively that I felt like reaching out to touch it. Had it been a warmer day I could have taken her right there on the steps, but I didn't because I snapped back into reality and walked back inside to watch the rest of the wedding.

Upon return, I saw Clarisse standing at the back of the church, hands clasped together, listening to Mia give a speech. I realised the Princess was standing up for her rights as heir to the throne. She was asking the members of parliament to abolish the marriage law and allow her to rule without a man by her side.

The entire audience was hanging on her every word until Viscount Mabrey stepped in and tried to pass the country off to his nephew. Fortunately for Mia, young Lord Devereaux burst in at exactly the right moment and saved the day, saying he didn't want to be the king. To cut a long story short, Mia made a motion to have the marriage law removed, it passed and everybody was happy.

Here's where the day got REALLY interesting.

Static started to sound in my earpiece and I heard the princess ask to speak to Clarisse. I can't really remember what exactly was said, but the next thing I knew Clarisse was asking me to marry her. I thought of a thousand smart-ass replies I could have given her and there were so many questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to yell at her, tell her what a bitch I think she is and after all that I wanted to strangle her, but I didn't. Instead I decided to get her committed first and then ask questions later.

So like any normal couple, we started walking up the aisle, Clarisse said something really cute that I can't remember because I was just so stoked to be walking up the aisle with her, and the archbishop was informed that we were to be wed. I could tell Clarisse was really excited and nervous - I liked that. She was exploring new emotions, facing her fears and not giving a damn about what her so-called friends thought about her marrying someone like me. Obviously she didn't realise how many people knew we were together prior to our marriage, because when the archbishop showed his joy that we'd "finally" decided to tie the knot, Clarisse went wide-eyed and blushed.

After the vowels, came the kiss. I stood practically frozen where I was, unsure of what sort of kiss was appropriate for a royal wedding. Clarisse knew though, thank god, and she slowly leaned towards me and pressed a very soft, closed-mouth kiss upon my lips. The only thing I could hear at that moment was the enthusiastic cheering coming out of my new granddaughter's mouth. Clarisse and I broke the kiss and stared at each other, we'd been avoiding making proper eye contact since I left her naked on the bench this morning, so it was nice to look at her beautiful crystal blue eyes once again.

Five seconds after we were officially made man and wife, I found myself being hugged by Mia, who had come to offer her congratulations and to whisper into my ear, "I thought you said you two broke up."

"Well I may have left out the part where we got back together, then broke up again. Sorry."

"Alright, I'll forgive this time."

"Thankyou my darling, whatever you said to her must have worked."

"Yeah. You realise now you owe me big time, Joey."

I ignored her Lauren-like comment and walked hand in hand with my new wife over to the desk to sign the papers that went with the marriage. Afterwards Clarisse and I walked back up the aisle and outside to the waiting photographers. We were almost blinded by all the flashes, so many people wanted to get a picture of the happily married couple. We stood there for about 10 minutes smiling and kissing (tastefully) while having our photo taken at the same time. Next came the carriage ride back to the palace. My arm was so tired when we finally arrived home, we had to wave to practically every person in the country. Clarisse was used to it, but I wasn't. I was used to standing behind her and keeping an eye out for suspicious activity, not waving to everyone.

When we were halfway back to the palace, I leant in close to Clarisse and spoke a single word into her ear, "Why?"

Her smile didn't disappear when I said that, that meant it was fake. She was faking a smile on our wedding day!

"Why what?" She asked, not moving her lips, but instead looking out at the crowd.

"Why now? What made you change your mind?"

"Can't we talk about this when we're alone and not in the eye of thousands of people?"

"When will that be?"

"Later, now be quiet please. We wouldn't want to cause a scene in front of this many people, would we?"

"Of course not," I moaned, sarcastically.

I watched her continue her waving to the crowd and eagerly awaited our return to the palace. Then finally, after another hour we arrived home. Every member of the staff was out the front waiting to greet us and offer their congratulations. They all wanted to either shake ours hands or stare in wonder. I stood there pinching myself to make sure it was real and when I realised it was, all I wanted to do was pick my new wife up, take her to her suite and make love to her. But since she shot me in the knee all those years ago, I had to survive by just holding her hand and pulling her along. I couldn't wait to get her alone. I wanted to ask her every question I've ever wanted to ask, I wanted to say everything I've ever wanted to say to her and yet I still haven't had the time to do so.

When we got to her suite, we found her ladies maids waiting in the dressing room. I realised then that we weren't going to get much alone time. They were there to dress her, and dress her they did. Why it takes an hour and two women to dress one woman is a mystery to me. Can't she dress herself anymore? I've seen her dress herself before, so why does she have two women to help her and why does it take so long? All she was wearing when they came out was a slimming black V-necked dress with no sleeves. How can it take so long to put that on?

Anyway, when she came out, I commented on her dress and waited for her ladies maids to leave the room, which they did…five minutes later…

"So?" I asked my wife, not wanting to waste any time.

"So," she replied, smiling and sliding her arms around my waist, "We have about twenty minutes left until we leave for the reception, what do you want to do?"

She started pulling me by the hips towards the bedroom, but I immobilized myself and said, "I want to talk."

"Ha! Talk? Why talk when we can do anything we want and be as loud as we want while doing it?"

"Because what I want from you are answers."

"Answers?"

"Yes. I will not lay a finger, or anything else for that matter, on you until I have answers."

She threw her hands up and sat on the sofa, crossing her legs, "What would you like to know?"

"What made you change your mind?"

A sad smile crossed her face, "I didn't want to suffer the pain of having you leave again. You've walked away from me so many times over the years and I thought this might be the final straw. I hate it when you leave me and I didn't want to lose you again. Remember how after I shot you, you left the palace and married that girl?"

"Clarisse, you know her name, just say it."

"I was so depressed that every night I had to cry myself to sleep. I thought I'd never see you again."

That almost made up for all the horrible things she's said to me over the years, for everything she's ever done to me.

"I didn't know you cared so much."

"I do, believe me. I love you with all my heart."

"I love you, too. Don't know why, but I do."

Her hand lightly slapped my chest, "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"I have other questions."

"How many?"

"Thousands. But I'll start with the main ones."

She lay back on the couch, waiting impatiently for me to ask, "Alright, shoot."

"Am I really that bad in bed?"

I couldn't help but ask that question, I had been dwelling on it ever since she told me I'm a bad lover. I just had to know whether she meant it, or whether she said it out of spite.

"Actually you are quite terrible, but that doesn't mean you can't learn."

"What do I honestly do that's wrong? I don't get it."

"I don't like it because you're always in control."

"We've only made love three times, Clarisse, you can hardly say always."

"That's beside the point. You're the only man in fifty years I've let take me in the missionary position. I don't like it."

My eyebrows hit the roof, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it made you happy. Also, you analyse everything, but let's just leave it at that, alright? Tonight I will show you how I like to make love, that is if you're not too exhausted?"

"Shouldn't be."

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I must attend to my granddaughter. I want to congratulate her on her parliamentary victory."

She stood up and softly kissed my lips, then walked out the door. I haven't seen her since, but then it's only been a few minutes. Hmm…I'm getting as impatient as she is.

Well anyway, there you have it! That's what's happened since this morning and I am still trying hard to make sense of this afternoon's events. We're leaving for the reception in a couple of minutes when Clarisse gets back. I'm looking forward to it because it's taking place on the royal yacht, which was specially decorated for the wedding reception. I went there the other night to take a look and I must say it's looking absolutely marvellous. All the rooms have been re-decorated because everybody is staying the night onboard on account of the fact we won't be returning to port until morning. The master suite on the top deck has been painted three different colours – green, white and blue (the colours of the Genovian flag) and the curtains have the royal crest embroided on them. I think Clarisse had the room specially designed to remind Princess Mia of why she was marrying Andrew – for the good of Genovia.

If that was the reason the room was designed that way, then the design has gone to waste because now Clarisse and I will be spending the night in there. It is after all the honeymoon suite.

I'm looking forward to tonight, we're going to dance on the deck, enjoy a gourmet dinner, leave the party early and then start a long night of questioning. If I get through all my questions, I'll allow her to make love to me in whichever way she chooses. I'm so glad the press aren't allowed onboard, because they would probably ruin the entire evening.

Well, Clarisse just came back which means it's time to go. I still can't believe she's my wife, I am going to be so happy when I realise for sure this isn't a dream.

Yay, 50 chapters!

Sorry it took so long to update, I've been getting carried away with real life. This is not the end of the story, I still have heaps I want to write and have been waiting to write for months. Finally I can do so!

R & R.