9/9/04

It's been a few days since the accident and I haven't yet been able to get a response from Clarisse as to who was in the other car. Usually when I ask, she stays silent or makes an excuse to leave. She's been spending a lot of time working on plans for our new house, I think she's creating work for herself so she can move on with life and not think about the incident. The house is coming along nicely, but I feel it could use a few hundred less rooms.

Seriously, if I don't do anything about this, our house is going to be so big it's not funny. Already it has four bathrooms, seven separate toilets, twenty-two large bedrooms, two extra-large bedrooms, eight lounge rooms, four dining rooms, six kitchens, a mass of indoor swimming pools and I think five staircases. I'm going to try and cut it down by at least two thirds, I mean, to me it's sounding as if we're going to be running a resort! All I ever wanted for my retirement was a young wife, a small, but decent sized secure house and a nice car to drive around in. So far, I don't have a single one of those, Clarisse is older than I am, we live in an oversized-hard-to-secure palace and my car is a pile of crumpled metal.

The car is actually getting fixed right now, it's going to cost over twenty thousand dollars to fix the damage because I hadn't gotten around to insuring it before driving.

I don't want to talk about my car right now, it only upsets me.

So anyway, I'm not looking forward to seeing the final design of this house.

10/9/04

Last night after feeding my wife a couple of drinks, I seductively cornered her in the bedroom and held her hands above her head. I was so sick of trying to guess who was in that car that I wanted to find out by any means, "Who was it?"

Clearly her face was red from whatever drink it was I found on the shelf and fed to her, "Darling, who was in the car a few days ago?"

Angry lines formed on her forehead and she struggled to break free, "I don't want to talk about this."

"But if you'd just tell me-"

"No!" She forced her way out of my grasp and turned away, "It's best left at you not knowing and me not remembering."

"Why?"

"Because it just is. I want to get on with my life, not live in the past-"

"It's one of your ex-lovers."

Unable to see her face, but knowing what expression she was wearing, I asked, "It is, isn't it?"

Turning around, she faked a smile, "So what if it is? He's gone now."

"We don't know that. Your old friend Baxter could be right outside this window for all you know, god knows security's gone downhill ever since I quit."

She folded her arms and sat on the couch, "So what if he's out there? What are you going to do about it?"

"Track him down, lock him up-"

"Joseph I do appreciate your concern, but no. You must understand the seriousness of the situation, if he's captured, all my secrets will be out and my perfect reputation will be ruined!"

"Honey-"

"And don't call me that, I'm a person, not a desert topping."

"Clarisse, if you'd just let me-"

"This conversation is over."

With that she left and closed the door behind her, then stormed back into the room when she realised it was her bedroom and it was time to go to sleep. I've been up all night thinking about her, she's made some very bad decisions in her life when it comes to men, but not me, I'm the best decision she's ever made because I'm going to love and care for her until the day I die – that's a promise.

17/9/04

After only one week, we've managed to acquire a nice property down by the sea and are almost ready to start building, as the plans for our new house are almost complete. Somehow, using my knee as an excuse, I managed to cut the amount of rooms down so instead of being the size of two large mansions, it's only going to be the size of one averaged sized mansion. Clarisse has been skipping important things ever since she started on the plans, she skips meals, exercise, socialism and worst of all…sex - I've been untouched for a number of days and I'm becoming worried.

Perhaps things will be different when the plans for the new house are finished and she can take a break. Clarisse says as soon as the blueprints are done we're going to travel for a while, then arrive back at our new home. Personally I think it would be better if we stayed and watched it develop, but hey, if my wife wants to take me around the world, who am I to say no?

Oh great, she's arguing with somebody on the phone.

I think it's a tradesman.

"Well I'm sorry," she's saying, "But I simply refuse to believe that's how much it costs to build a measly fence…I don't care how wide or tall it is, it shouldn't cost that much!"
Oh my god! I can't believe she's complaining about the cost of fences, but is more than willing to spend over thirty thousand dollars alone on the tiles of one bathroom floor. Where's her head at, I wonder? Anyway I have a feeling she's just looked at the first big ad in the phonebook, which is obviously going to be the most expensive one.

"Joseph, do you know how much money this fence is going to cost?"

"Clarisse, if it costs more than your bathroom tiles, I'll be surprised."

She's giving me a dissatisfied look, "It costs-"

"Clarisse listen, an acre of fence does cost a lot of money, especially if it's fancy. Now you can either agree to pay the full price or you can make the damn fence yourself!"

Startled, she stepped back a little, "I don't know the first thing about making a fence."

"Then just pay up! You can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on the floors, but you can't give up a few thousand for a fence that will secure the property?"

She crossed her arms, "I just don't think it's worth it. How much work could possibly go into it? Honestly, I think it's ridiculous to…"

I just dozed right off there, couldn't handle listening to her whine, she's just so idiotic sometimes…

Anyway, I'm going to take it upon myself to arrange this security fence and all cameras which will sit atop it. Perhaps I should declare the yard mine and the house hers like all normal couples. Clarisse can decorate the house any way she wants and I can create a wonderful garden similar to the one I was hired to make when I first came to the palace all those years ago.

It's funny, but when I first came to work at the palace I had no idea I would ever end up married to my boss. I may have hoped for it, but never expected our relationship would go further than friendship.

30/9/04

Good news, I got my car back about a week and a half ago and it looks magnificent! Not as good as it was when I first got it, but they did one hell of a job on it. The only thing is I think we could have saved some money by just buying a new car instead of getting every single panel beated, but oh well, I'm mobile again! Some other good news is that after weeks of planning, our house has finally reached production stage. The foundations are currently being laid and all is going according to plan.

Sammy invited Clarisse and I, as well as Amelia over for dinner the other night to belatedly celebrate our marriage. With my blessing he also invited Lauren and Bernard, however Bernard did not show up.

The meal was lovely, we had curried lamb with rice for dinner and strawberry cheesecake for desert. Afterwards the children watched television in the lounge while us grown-ups sat around the table drinking and blabbing on about nothing. I was so engulfed in my glass of bourbon that I didn't even notice Lauren had left the table to stand alone out on the balcony, so when Clarisse was in the toilet and the others were in deep conversation, I went out to see if anything was the matter.

Slowly I walked up beside her and looked at the view below, "What are you doing out here? It's positively freezing."

Wiping from her eye what looked like a tear, she turned to me and smiled, "Yes it is rather chilly."

"You look upset, have you been crying?"

"No, I was just thinking about – never mind."

"Thinking about what?"

She sniffled, "Well, look how well our son is doing for himself, he has a wonderful house on the most sceneric cliff in Genovia, he's got a loving wife, the cutest kids…not to mention a great father."

"And a beautiful mother."

Blushing, she turned away, "He's so lucky."

"I know," I smiled, subconsciously putting my arm around her shoulder before retracting it again, "We raised him well, you and I."

The waves of the ocean below us crashed against the rocks and almost splashed water on us, we move back to the door a little.

"Joseph, have I congratulated you on your marriage yet?"

"You know, I don't think you have."

"Well I will now."

She looked adoringly at me and started tearing, "I am so happy for you."

Suddenly her arms flew around my neck and I found myself in an awkward embrace. After a short while, I could feel warmth sinking through my jacket and I realised she was using my shoulder as a crying post, "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Lauren pulled back and turned away, "You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you. Yesterday I got fired from my dead end job, then returned home to find Bernard in bed with another man. He claimed he was one of his patients, but I knew better – what patient takes all of his clothes off just for an eye check-up?"

I tried not to make a joke of it, but couldn't help myself, "A hot one?"

Tears were pouring out of her eyes as I viewed the fine lines of her face and I must say I actually felt sorry for her. Suddenly all the times she's flaunted high - profiled dates in front of me at our family gatherings didn't seem to matter and I just saw her as someone who didn't deserve to have her heart broken – even though she did. She became very vulnerable out on that balcony as she spoke to me about Bernard. Never in my life could I have imagined him to be gay, he always seemed too…not gay. Well I guess it goes to show every man is a potential homosexual whether they like it or not. Ah!

Lauren cried in my arms for what seemed like forever, I should have just left her there on her own because whenever I'm upset I like to be left alone, however somehow I felt I had a duty to stay with her and support her through a tough break-up. Our time together ended when Clarisse saw us out there and the jealousy bug crept up on her faster than you could say the first syllable of the word 'Anger'.

Rudely, she interrupted and faked an excuse to take me back inside. She didn't speak to me about what she saw in front of everyone, probably because she expected she would make a scene, so instead she waited until we were in the car and halfway home.

"Why were you hugging her?"

"Who Lauren?" I asked, already knowing well before the conversation started that Lauren was going to be our main topic of conversation for the next week, "She's having a hard time at the moment, she lost her job. Oh and Bernard's gay."

Clarisse smiled, "What? But he's so…not gay."

"I know! That's what I said!"

"The poor thing, she must feel humiliated…not that it gives you the right to touch her."

"I was comforting her, that's what real people do."

"Does it flatter you that she still fancies you?"

"If I say yes will you give up on trying to get the better of me?"

Nodding, she folded her hands in her lap, "Yes."

"Then yes, it does flatter me, alright?"

Keeping my eyes on the road, I slowed for the traffic lights and my hand slightly brushed Clarisse's knee as I downshifted. It was a very simple, but intimate moment that seemed to instantly take her mind off Lauren.

From then on I noticed her knee kept moving closer to the gearstick while I drove, it must do something special for her having her knees rubbed – I'll remember that for a later date. Anyway, that happened a week ago and she's long since forgotten about that night so I can safely say all is well at the palace.

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Sorry, sorry, sorry. Almost 2 months since my last update. You can blame that on the fact that I haven't taken a single day off work, nor have I had any holidays this year. Mainly though, you can blame my lack of updates on my boyfriend who without fail, invades whatever little private time I have to myself each night.

Thanks for reviewing, they are the only things that make me want to update when I have the time and space. R & R.