Wow, a chapter I'm actually liking! I think you guys are in for a treat with this one. If you agree/disagree, please leave a review! I need more feedback in order to get better.
Enjoy!
Smashing Banter - Peach
"Hey look, it's Princess Peach!" Pit commented, pointing a blade at the girl in all pink. Suited up in her signature pink dress, she really did look like royalty.
"Hey look, she hasn't been kidnapped!" Viridi snarkily replied. "I'm surprised."
"Maybe she has a hidden weapon up her sleeve that kept Bowser from kidnapping her! I'll go and check," Pit said. Then the fight began. Pit ran in, brandished his twin blades, and swung them at Peach's thin waist. That earned him a few spores to the face. Knocked back by the sudden mess, Pit flew to the ground. Getting up, the angel could see the princess holding a weird creature the size of a baby with a mushroom-y head: a Toad.
"Er, Princess, I think he needs a diaper change. That reeked!" Pit managed to cough out. Without bothering to reply, she put away her minion… back into her dress.
"More like 'a hidden weapon up her dress," Viridi corrected, staring at her own article of clothing. "Seriously, though, where does she find space for that giant thing?"
Pit had no time to reply as he was charged at. He leaped over the princess's dash attack, aiming to whack her head as she passed by under. He swung; he missed. She had ducked, avoiding the attack entirely. Before the angel could land safely, Peach hopped a bit and flew at him butt-first. Her arse collided with his head, the impact making him see stars as he crashed into the other side of the stage. Pit groaned, "Y'know, I think Peach has more that just that Toad up her dress. That hip hurt."
"That Toad, her derriere; I think she has more weapons than you, Pit," Viridi commented, unknowingly sparking Pit's competitive spirit.
"What do you mean? See, I've got this bow!" Pit replied, pulling back on the bowstring and firing, aiming at the princess's head.
In reply, Peach pulled a tennis racket out of her dress, swinging it at the offending projectile. The impact of the sports equipment sent the arrow flying back at its poor owner. Viridi, always willing to oppose Pit, said, "And she's got that tennis racket."
"But I've got these!" Pit whipped out his Guardian Orbitars, the arrow bouncing harmlessly off of the giant transparent plasma shield and flew back towards Mario's love interest.
Without skipping a beat, Peach pulled out a turnip - one with a stitch face on it - from the ground, and in the nick of time leaped over the arrow. Just as Pit was forced to drop his Guardian Orbitars, the princess threw her prized vegetable. Pit, seeing that Peach was going to give him some grub, opened his mouth wide, ready to inhale the food.
Then it smacked him in the face, sending him flying off the stage. Viridi hastily grants Pit the power of flight, enabling him to recover back onto the stage. Pit wheezed, "I thought food was supposed to heal! No wonder no one likes veggies."
"Give it up, Pit. This princess's arsenal is slick, not to mention eco-friendly," Viridi dissuaded. Still, Pit would not give up.
"I'll show you! She's running out of games to get weapons from!" Pit retorted, causing Viridi to panic.
Hastily, the Goddess of Nature rebuilt the fourth wall, chastising, "Shhh! The readers might hear that!"
"Hyah!" Pit cried, forgoing all sense of danger as he dashed at her, Upperdash Arm ready to send her into the heavens. Peach smirked.
She jumped and floated, hovering back just enough for Pit to miss his assault entirely. While the angel was still recovering from his missed attack, the princess whipped off her crown and whacked Pit in the face with it, sending him face-first into the screen for a flawless victory. "Oh, did I win?"
Viridi shrugged, "Can't say I didn't warn you."
I do hope you enjoyed it. Just don't stone (hint) me if this chapter's not that good. I might not be able to swallow (hint) down your bad criticisms. Heck, I might even have to copy (hint) other source material just to give you a laugh.