Hello my wonderful, patient lovelies! So life has been crazy and I haven't updated in forever, I know Please don't hate me. There are a multitude of perfectly acceptable excuses. I am currently finishing up my Master's degree and this week is my last week of classes, which means massive papers of doom galore on top of planning and grading for four completely different classes and grade levels. On top of that, some major stuff has been happening in my personal life that needed to be dealt with and this story kind of fell on the backburner. I actually only finished this because I am procrastinating….don't tell Sam and Dean. As for the future of this story, I do plan on finishing it, but the last episode I saw was the one that got Sam stuck in the cage so, suffice it to say I am super behind and therefore cannot really continue until I have caught up on SPN, which will not happen until I get through hell week. But hopefully this will hold everyone over until I can start writing fairly regularly again. Thank you to all the amazing people who still reviewed even after I went AWOL…hope you all enjoy! (as an aside…Lily sure does cry a lot, doesn't she…jeez. But I would too in most of these situations)

Chapter 10

"Hello, baby sister."

At Crowley's words, Lily's whole world stopped. Everything narrowed to a pinprick and she felt her knees begin to buckle. He was going to take her back to Rowena. Her worst fear realized; the nightmare that woke her up, gasping in the middle of the night. It was happening. She swooned in his grasp, suddenly dizzy and unable to stand. All she could think was; I can't go back, please don't make me go back. This can't be happening.

Occupied as she was with passing out, Lily missed Dean and Sam's synchronized step forward when Crowley grabbed her. She missed Sam's hoarse shout and Cas's attempt to use his angel juice that resulted in him collapsed with a migraine. She missed Dean's dangerously calm growl and flashing eyes. "Crowley, so help me…let her go."

"Calm down, boys. I just wanted a little family reunion." He held on to her, adjusting his hold so her limp form rested comfortable against his shoulder. He patted her cheek lightly with his hand. "Come on, love. Wakey wakey."

Lily shivered at his cold hand on her cheek and her eyes slowly fluttered open, taking in the nightmare unfolding around her. Dazed, she heard the brothers talking to Crowley from far away

"…a proposition for you"

"Why would we…"

"I'm gonna kill you."

"…tried that before, didn't we Sam"

"…and if Rowena follows…"

At the sound of her erstwhile mother's name, all at once everything rushed into perfect focus and she began to fight the dark, smelly man's hold on her like a cat. She didn't realize she was screaming right away, but heard her voice distantly, as if it was echoing back at her.

"I'm not going back to her! I hate Mother I hate her I hate her! I'm not going back you can't make me!"

She pounded her fists and heels into any part of Rowena's son – for there was no one else this horrid man could be – she could reach.

"Hang on a minute!" Crowley struggled to subdue her, to no avail. "Hold still! You little- calm down."

Lily clawed at his eyes, ignoring him; "I'm not going, I'm not going!"

"STOP! I hate her too, you stupid girl!" At his roar of anger and following confession, Lily paused her attack, shocked.

"You do?" her voice came out trembling and hoarse from exertion.

"Of course I hate the redheaded bitch! Why do you think I'm here nitwit?" Crowley threw her back at the brothers in disgust and Dean caught her as she fell. She clung to him, crying, and he pressed a secret kiss to her temple before passing her to Cas.

"Take her to her ro-"

"No please, I'd like to stay." Lily's shaky voice surprised them. Dean started to say no, but stopped himself when he felt how hard she was holding on to him, and saw her tear-filled eyes gazing unwaveringly across the room at Crowley.

Dean and Sam exchanged a look, but they grudgingly obliged, pulling Lily protectively between the two of them. Dean was still coiled tight with rage, so Sam spoke first.

"You have ten seconds to explain yourself Crowley." He let the threat hang unspoken at the end of his sentence.

"Lighten up, Moose. I just came to meet the family and see what the big deal was myself. My mother has slipped her tail. She was working on raising a coven, and rumor has it you have something she wants." Crowley spoke to Dean, disregarding Sam and Cas, and Lily for that matter, entirely, but his eyes slipped to her briefly as he continued. "More than one thing, actually. I was just popping in to give you boys a friendly heads up, and suggest a little baiting of the hook."

He looked meaningfully at Lily.

"Absolutely not, Crowley." Dean spoke, voice low. "Not her."

"Yea, never gonna happen."

"Well, I'll let you sleep on it. But, if the little lamb is worth anything to you, you'd at least consider it. Because Rowena will come whether or not you are prepared. For the codebreaker and for her," Crowley jerked his head in Lily's direction, "just a little advice, free of charge. Always, a pleasure boys, goodbye Lily"

And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

Lily sagged into Dean, the second Crowley disappeared, letting out the breath she didn't know she was holding, and was caught in a two-way hug between the brothers. Dean shouted at her even as he hugged her tighter. "What were you thinking? I told you to go to your room! If he- if something happened-"

Lily couldn't respond. Dean's scolding was drowned out by the ringing in her ears. She felt numb and disconnected from what had just happened. She kept trying to focus on what Crowley had said at the end, but her thoughts were scattered and piecemeal and all she could think was that everything had finally started to go well and stupid Crowley had ruined everything. She-

"Dean! Catch her!"

Her vision narrowed as the stress of everything got to her and she crumpled into Dean's arms for the second time in the space of ten minutes. If she wasn't so lost in a sea of confusion and fear, she would have the sense to be embarrassed.

"—get her some water she's in shock"

"Come on, Lily…stay with us"

"She's light as a feather, Sam"

Lily forced herself to open her eyes and face the three pairs of concerned ones that were all turned on her.

"I'm sorry" she managed to mumble, gratefully sipping the water Cas proffered. She was not standing on her own, her entire weight supported by Dean's strong arms, and, after she returned the glass of water, he lowered her to the floor, sitting with her so she was pulled into his lap, head lolled back on his should and wrapped in a firm hug. Sam and Cas sat on the floor opposite, and the thought occurred to her that they presented a comical picture, all sitting in a circle on the floor, before it was interrupted by Sam's concerned voice.

"Lily, when was the last time you ate?" Dean tightened his grip a little when she stiffened at the question. "In general, what do you normally eat?"

"What? I dunno…whatever" She stuttered, confused by the extremely mundane topic change after what had just happened.

Dean's voice sounded from behind her, and she could feel it rumble through his chest as he spoke; "Thanks for being specific."

"Lily, why don't you run through what you normally eat for each meal," Sam said, after sharing a glance with his brother above her head.

"Umm…for breakfast I usually have tea. For lunch, I have candy or nothing, depending on whether Cas is watching me or not-" Dean and Sam shot an angry glare at Castiel that Lily missed; "—and for dinner I have whatever you guys have if your home….or nothing. Why?"

Sam sighed, exasperated. "Well for one thing it's a factor in your recent fainting spells."

"Let's go get some food," Dean announced. Everyone seemed eager to get out of the bunker, and Lily was immediately ecstatic. They were going to go out! All together! Her fear forgotten for the moment, she bounced up from Dean's lap with a smile, staggering a little as black dots flooded her vision because of her sudden movement. Dean steadied her and scolded her again, but his heart wasn't in it and the four of them headed out to the Impala.

At the diner, Sam and Dean ordered Lily a feast. A feast of healthy food that is, per Sam's instructions, and even though Dean chowed down on a burger and a beer, he was unwavering in her plea for french fries. She sat in front of a spinach salad, a bowl of fruit, some grilled chicken, and a bowl of oatmeal, with a glass of water and orange juice on the side. As she tucked in, Sam began his lecture. "Lily, you have to eat three meals a day, with fruit and vegetables and protein. And no, gummy bears do not count as a fruit. You will no longer be allowed to eat candy or cookies unless you have permission and always after your real food, not before or in place of. You can still have your tea with a little honey, but no milk or sugar, and you also need to have six servings of water a day, so I'm going to buy you a big water bottle that you can carry around with you. Any questions?"

Lily balked at these new rules and looked to Dean for support, but his head, wisely, was down and he was paying attention to the double bacon burger in front of him. Castiel did not have the tact to act nonchalant and simply stared very hard at the tines of his unused fork. "But…but…Dean doesn't eat like that! Why do I have to?"

She knew she was pouting, but couldn't help it. She had gone for so long without all the best junk foods, it was all she wanted to eat now.

"Hey, do as I say, not as I do princess," Dean said around massive bites of his burger. Sam shot him an annoyed glance. Dean swallowed and continued; "The point is, we are adults and make decisions for ourselves that we think are best. Sam chooses to eat rabbit food and sweat like a pig five days a week, I choose to eat burgers, drink beer, and most likely die young. It's how I was raised and I'm stickin' to it. But, you're just a kid and you're our responsibility. You've been mistreated and malnourished for most of your life and as your…caretakers…it's our job to make decisions for you that are in your best interest. And at the beginning of our little arrangement you agreed to do what we told you to, and we agreed to take care of you. Sam's new diet plan is final; I don't want to hear any more arguments about it."

Dean's final tone made the conversation lull and they ate in silence for a while, Lily picking at her food a bit, but eating after a glare from both brothers. Finally, she broke the silence. "This is all a distraction isn't it. Because you don't want to talk about Crowley with me."

Sam and Dean shared a look, one of the many in their repertoire of silent communication, before Sam spoke, his tone taking on the forced even-ness he always affected when trying to keep a situation calm. "What do you want to ask?"

Lily wasn't expecting that, and it took her a moment to recoup and find something to say. She started slow, not sure where to begin, and Sam and Dean took turns answering questions as best they could, with Cas chiming in occasionally.

"How did Crowley find us?"

"We've...we have a long history. He's been to the bunker. He's helped us before."

"Is he an angel too?"

"Absolutely not…he is the most—"

"Cas means no. He's a demon."

"Rowena's son is a demon?!"

"Yep, they're both hundreds of years old."

"You worked with a demon?"

"It's a long story."

"Is he gonna hurt me?"

"No."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

"Is he gonna tell Rowena about me?"

"We don't think so."

"Is Rowena gonna find me?"

"No."

"What did he mean, use me as bait?" Here the conversation stuttered, as neither of the brothers wanted to answer the question. Finally, Dean spoke.

"It doesn't matter because it's not going to happen."

"What did he mean." Lily insisted and Sam spoke despite Dean's shake of the head.

"He knows Rowena is looking for you. In her eyes, you're a loose end and she is probably worried about us finding you and getting information out of you, if she doesn't already know we have you. Crowley wants to put you in plain sight, in order to draw her out and catch her and bring her back to hell."

Lily chewed on this information quietly for a moment. "I'll do it"

"All right, time to go." Dean threw a wad of bills on the table and dragged Lily out of the booth behind him.

"W-wait!" she spluttered.

"Not happening. End of discussion. Get in the car."

But Lily persisted as they were driving back. "Why not? I want to help! I don't want to be afraid of her anymore!"

Dean said nothing as she continued to badger, but his grip on the steering wheel became white-knuckled until finally he swerved abruptly to the side of the road and got out, slamming the door behind him and rounding on the passenger side. Lily let out a shriek and shrunk back from the door toward Cas as soon as his purpose became clear, but his arms were long and he grabbed her ankle and yanked her towards him and out of the car. Once he had her out, he pushed her up against the frame of the Impala roughly, his hands gripping her arms tightly. Sam and Cas had both gotten out at this point, but Dean ignored them and shook off Sam's hand on his arm, focusing all of his attention on Lily's cringing form.

"Listen to me very carefully. You are not going to be involved in any aspect of hunting. Ever." He punctuated his sentences by pushing her shoulders back into the car. "That is final. Using you as bait for Rowena is completely out of the question. I saw what it was like for you when you lived with her. You are never going back there, you will never see her again, not even for something like this. You are going to have as normal a life as we can give you, so help me, and if you keep arguing against your own health and safety, and whining and pouting like a child, I will turn you over my knee like my daddy did to me and put the fear of God in you. Are. There. Any. Questions."

Lily couldn't find the words to respond through the sobs that shook her small frame. She tried to choke out an apology, but even that all too familiar phrase would not articulate itself. Dean's hands on her arms prevented her from burying her face – and tears - in her hands and so she openly wept, dropping her head so the tears slid from her cheeks to splash onto the pavement. Dean suddenly pulled her into his arms, crushing her face against his chest with a large hand and kissing her forehead.

"I can't lose you" he said softly into her hair, before placing another kiss there. Lily succumbed to the enveloping warmth, staining Dean's t-shirt with her wet cheeks and clutching tiny fistfuls of the soft material as she buried herself in the bear-hug

She finally found her voice and whispered her apology over and over into Dean's chest, while he murmured soothing words to her, calming her down enough to pull her back and look in her eyes. "No more nagging, ok? You need to trust that Sam and I will do what's best for you."

Lily nodded meekly with red-rimmed eyes and whispered for what felt like the thousandth time in her short tenure with the Winchesters; "Yes sir. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven," he replied, punctuating his words with another hug.

"…Dean?" Lily's voice was timid, "What are we…you… gonna do about Rowena?"

Dean's eyes turned black with unconcealed hate and rage as he answered, staring into the Kansas distance; "I'm gonna find that she-witch and give her hell."