26/12/10

It's been well over a year since Clarisse and I got back together and the country has finally moved on from what I did to her. I've gained more respect from the community and now going out is once again a pleasant experience. Clarisse and I haven't argued about anything for the last six months, and even then it was only a disagreement over me using a toothbrush twice, instead of throwing it away. They last months, you silly woman!

Yesterday was Christmas and what a wonderful Christmas it was. Celebrations are always held up at the palace, so we spent a good part of the afternoon dining with lords and ladies that we couldn't care less about, then watched the parade travel through the main street of Pyrus. I'm not fond of the parade, but I was promised sex at the end of the night if I sat through it without complaint, so I obliged.

I had wanted my daughter to be here this Christmas, but Charlotte wouldn't let me have her until the new year. Jess visited us in June this year, which just made our week such a joy. We sent Morris to escort her here as he is quite fond of Jess, and he brought her to us safe and sound. I was amazed at how big she'd gotten. All she wanted to do while she was here was walk around knocking things off tables and chewing on Clarisse's priceless heirlooms. To think Clarisse wanted Jess to live here permanently... I love my daughter, but I'm glad she's not here all the time. We're flying to America to see her in January. We're going to take her to San Fransisco to stay in the consulate with us. It's been a while since I've seen the land of my birth and I can't wait to enjoy a relaxing holiday there.

When we returned home in the evening we had only a light dinner, then watched the Christmas carols on the television. After which we slow danced and I called her up on her offer of making love. She happily took me upstairs and we were in each others arms for almost an hour. Afterwards I lay on my back with her head on my chest enjoying the warmth and the smell of her skin, trying desperately to regain my breath. You take it for granted how easy it is to perform intimate acts when you're young, but when you get to our age, it becomes a significantly larger effort.

"Joseph," Clarisse whispered barely audible as I was almost asleep.

A grunt was the only response I could give at that moment, until she said, "I forgive you."

Suddenly my eyes fluttered open and I was wide awake, this had come out of nowhere. I'd never asked for her forgiveness because I thought it was well out of reach and I sure as hell knew I didn't deserve it. After all this time she'd said the words I thought I would never hear and for once in my life I was left speechless. I wasn't sure what an appropriate response was, so I just held her a bit tighter and kissed the closest part of her face I could find, thankful that the darkness hid the silent tears that fell down my cheek.

When I woke the next morning, she was on the other side of the bed snoring lightly. I reached under the covers for her hand and brought it up to my mouth. I kissed it, then noticed that instead of wearing the enormous ring from Rupert that she had resumed wearing after our divorce, she was wearing the wedding ring I gave her so many years ago. Three sparkling diamonds on a thin gold band wrapped around her finger symbolising our never ending love.

"Clarisse," I said huskily, gently shaking her awake, "What's this?"

I held her wrist up to show her, but she was still half asleep. I touched her face gently until she slowly opened her eyes and adjusted to the morning light.

"Hmm...what?" she spoke drearily.

"Clarisse, you're wearing my ring!"

Finally she opened her eyes long enough to see what I was talking about and closed them again, "What about it?"

"What does it mean?"

Annoyed that I was still talking, she rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed yawning. I took her hand and showed it to her again, "Are you trying to tell me something?"

She didn't respond, so I asked, "You don't want to get married again, do you?"

"That depends," she yawned again, "Are you asking me?"

My next words were chosen cautiously, "Why, are you accepting?"

Playfully she knitted her fingers together, "I don't know, it depends on whether you're asking or not."

I sat up straight and held her hand, "Do you want me to ask?"

"Do you want me to want you to ask?"

The conversation was going nowhere, so I plucked up my courage and hoped that asking for a third time might draw a successful result. Quickly I slid off the bed and walked around to her side, throwing a puffy pillow on the ground before carefully kneeling down on it. Even with the pillow, I was still in an agonising amount of pain from my knee, but I bared it and in my butt-naked state, took her milky white hand and spoke the words I had practiced so many times in my head, "Clarisse, will do me the honour of becoming my wife...again?"

"Yes," she said happily, sounding both scared and excited, "Nothing would please me more."

I would have jumped about ten feet in the air had I been physically able to, but instead I got up from the uncomfortable position on the floor and jumped back in bed with her, kissing every inch of her face before moving on top of her and engaging in what was one of the best love making sessions I've ever had.

Now I've probably said this before regarding other occasions, but this was the happiest moment of my life. The woman I have loved for over forty years just agreed to marry me again, despite everything I've put her through. If I die tomorrow I will die happy. And in fear of the possibility that I might go and screw it up again, I've decided to end my journal here. So if I do mess up, my life according these pages will have ended on a good note, ended happily. I've made many mistakes in my life - hell, we all do - some for the better, some for the worst. Yet I'm not ashamed of them anymore, because those mistakes are what got me to where I am today. I admit I've broken a few hearts, but somehow still managed to keep the love of an amazing woman who despite everything, has made me happier than I can imagine. My children have brought me unimaginable joy and continue to do so. I look forward to the future, however long or short it may be and I will always remember this point in time in which my life was just perfect.

The End.

Well that's it, after over 9 years in the making, I've decided to end this here for fear it may never be complete. I'm trying to get my chaptered stories finished, so I can post the next lot. I know it's not the greatest ending, or the longest, but it would end either here on a happy note, or on a death. I chose happy. Now I realise I may not have tied up every loose end, so when I get a spare week, I will read this again from start to finish and if I've missed anything significant, I will rewrite this chapter. Otherwise that's it.

I'd like to thank all of my VERY patient readers and reviewers who have waited years for updates, your dedication is what keeps me going.

~ Thankyou~

Naseka