Santana woke up on her own according the next day and with Quinn draped over her. She was glad that Quinn was a pretty heavy sleeper because if she was awake now she would ask what was wrong with Santana, because Santana was sure that her face was the epitome of confusion and doubt. She loved Quinn, she loved her more than anything which was why she decided to try again with the blonde, but Santana just couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened. Right now she didn't trust Quinn, she wished she did but she doesn't. She knew she just needed to spend time trying to gain the trust back and that would hopefully come with time.
But still, currently being this close to Quinn whilst her mind was overflowing with doubt she felt like she needed to leave Quinn's house and be on her own for a little bit.
She carefully slipped out of bed without managing to wake Quinn before writing Quinn a little note to say that left and that her mom wanting to spend some time with her this weekend so she would just see her at school on Monday.
She creeped her way downstairs thinking that her escape was going perfectly until she was caught by Judy who was just leaving the kitchen.
"Oh Santana" Judy said startled, "I didn't know you were here"
"Um yeah, I drove Quinn home after the party last night and stayed. I hope you don't mind" Santana said awkwardly as she didn't know if Quinn's parents knew the situation their daughter and Santana were in.
"Thank you for that dear. I'm so glad to see you two back together. Quinnie was heartbroken after what happened at homecoming"
It turns out they did know, or know something which probably wasn't the full story.
"Yeah, we're working on things" Santana confirmed.
"I'm so glad. You two are good for each other"
Santana smiled politely at Judy even though inside she was panicking. "Thank you. Anyway, I should get going. I told my mom I would spend the weekend with her." Santana lied.
"Of course dear, thank you for bringing her back safely last night Santana" Judy said.
"Your welcome. By Judy" Santana smiled before leaving the Fabray house.
Quinn woke up a couple hours later with a big smile on her face, she and Santana were back together and she couldn't be happier. She reached her arm out on the bed for the brunette but when her hand didn't come in contact with anything her eyes opened.
She saw that the bed was empty and because of this she started panicking inside.
Was it all just a dream or had Santana woken up and decided that it wasn't worth it, that she didn't want to be with Quinn after all?
She looked around to the room to see if there was any trace of Santana. Nothing, until she saw a little note lying on the pillow next to her.
Woke up to a text to my mom saying she wanted to spend the weekend with me, didn't want to wake you. Will see you at school on Monday – S x
The note relieved Quinn a little bit. There was no trace of Santana saying she was unhappy or that she made the wrong decision when saying that she wanted to get back together and that was enough for Quinn right now.
She quickly got her phone off the side of the table and sent a message to the brunette.
Wish you would have woke me to say goodbye. I'll miss you this weekend :(, I love you! – Q x
Once she sent it she got a reply about twenty minutes later, which Quinn frowned at a little. Usually Santana would reply straight away but she just assumed that Santana was busy with her mom so she couldn't reply as fast as she used to.
Sorry, I know how much you like your sleep though. – S x
Hmm, no I love you back. Quinn thought, but she let it fly as she kept texting the Latina back throughout the day.
"So you lied about being with your mom all weekend just to avoid her?" Puck asked back as he listened to the brunette.
Santana nodded, "Am I a bad person for doing that?" she asked. She felt like she was in a really weird place right now.
"No, of course not!" Puck was quick to answer. "I honestly don't know you took her back in the first place"
"I love her Puck" Santana told him straight away. That was one thing she was absolutely sure of, her love for Quinn was something which she never doubted. Her trust however, that was still up for interpretation.
She knew that Quinn signed on for whatever the thing with Rachel, Brittany and Tina was when she didn't even know Santana but Santana just couldn't let go of the fact that Quinn was basically playing her just so that she would end up breaking Santana's heart.
Quinn told Santana that she would never do anything to break Santana's trust again and that she deeply regretted it but how did Santana know that for sure? No matter how badly she wanted things to work out with Quinn there was a little inkling in the back of her mind saying that she couldn't trust the blonde and right now it was playing on repeat in her mind.
"I know San, but it is not okay what she did. You don't do that to someone you love"
"She said that she tried to stop it when she was starting to get feelings for me"
"Maybe she did, but it still happened didn't it."
Santana sighed, she really did not know what to do or how to feel right now.
Monday morning came round pretty fast and Santana was honestly dreading it because she still did not know how to act around Quinn, what to say or what to do.
The first thing she did when she got to school was go to her locker and quickly get her books out, hoping that she could do all of this fast and then get to class and maybe avoid seeing Quinn until lunch, however this plan did not kick in to action as moments later the blonde tapped her on the shoulder causing Santana to turn around and deal with everything that had been going through her mind the past two days.
"Hey" Quinn grinned at the brunette, "I've missed you this weekend" the blonde said as she stepped forward into the Latina's personal space and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck
Santana gulped at how close they were, and how people were staring and whispering about them in the hallway, because of that she felt even more uncomfortable.
"Yeah, you know what my mom's like. Wants to spend time with me any moment she can"
"Well I'm glad I get you all to myself right now" Quinn smiled and Santana smiled awkwardly back.
"Well not all to yourself because we have to go to class"
"True" Quinn playfully frowned. "I get you at lunch though right?"
"Maybe, I mean I've got a lot of work to catch up on so I might have to do that during lunch"
"What about tonight? You can spend the night"
"Maybe, we'll see. I should probably get to class. I'll see you later" Santana gave the blonde a small smile. She really know how to leave this situation right now, she didn't want to kiss Quinn in the crowded hallway because she just knew all eyes right now were on her and Quinn and she didn't want to give them all something else to talk about because she knew they were all talking about her already. Instead she gave Quinn a small kiss on the cheek and then slipped out from the blondes grip before walking off down the corridor.
Quinn watched the brunette walk off. That was not how she wanted to start the day off. Santana was obviously feeling weird about something and that didn't feel good for Quinn. She didn't like how Santana was acting distant to her, and it made her start to worry.
Later on, at lunch Quinn went to go and find Santana. She had some work she could be doing also, so if they couldn't eat together they could at least be in each-others company. She went to the quiet area, which totally did not live up to its name where everyone went to go and do work. However, as soon as she walked in there she felt her heart sink a little at what she saw.
Santana was in there, but she wasn't alone. She was smiling and laughing with Kitty, which immediately made Quinn feel jealous but also betrayed a little. Santana knew how Quinn felt about Kitty yet here she was talking and joking with her.
She walked up to them straight away.
"Hey baby" she put on a sweet face and pretended like nothing was wrong.
A surprised look arrived on Santana's face when she saw Quinn standing in front of the table she was sat at.
"Uh, hey Q. What are you… What are you doing in here?" Santana awkwardly asked back.
"Well you said you have some work to do and so do I so I thought I'd join you. It feels weird spending lunch without you." Quinn now turned to Kitty. "Since you're not doing anything you don't mind if I take your seat do you? I kind of want to sit next to my girlfriend if you don't mind"
"Actually I do mind, Santana asked me to be here" Kitty replied back.
That hurt.
"You asked her to be here?" Quinn directed towards Santana.
Santana paused for a moment, "Um, yeah. She's in my math class so asked her if she would help me catch up"
"I could have helped you do that" Quinn pointed out.
"We're not in the same class though"
"No, but we do the exact same work"
"Sorry Q, I didn't want to bother you. Plus I thought you had cheerio practice this lunch" Santana said.
Quinn's eyebrows scrunched together, knowing that Santana was lying straight away.
"I'm not even in my uniform today? Plus Kitty is on the cheerios! What's going on San?"
"Nothing. I just spaced out is all. I'm sorry" Santana apologised but Quinn knew that she didn't mean it.
Quinn could feel the tears build up in her eyes and she just knew that they were about to fall any moment now. Santana was acting like she wasn't her girlfriend right now and that she didn't even care about Quinn. It was like she was purposely trying to hurt her. And because of that thought, Quinn's tears began to fall down her cheeks.
Seeing that made Santana feel bad. She knew she was being a jerk but seeing Quinn cry was something she hated seeing.
"Quinn, come on. I'm sorry"
Quinn shook her head lightly and quickly turned around and left the room. She didn't want everyone to see her cry like this.
She got halfway down the empty hallway before a hand gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty classroom. She knew it was Santana straight away.
"I'm sorry Q, I spaced out okay?" were the first words out of Santana's mouth.
Quinn turned around to look at the brunette. "Do you love me Santana? Do you love me?"
"Of course I love you Quinn" Santana didn't hesitate.
"Then why are you doing this to me? I get that I hurt you and I will spend every day of my life wishing that I didn't, but people make mistakes San. I just want you back, I just want us to get back to the way we used to be"
Santana paused and then spoke up, "how are we supposed to get back to what we used to be when it was all a lie?"
"It wasn't a lie! I love you Santana, I fell in love with you!" Quinn shouted, really wishing that Santana would see how madly in love with her she was. "Please Santana, we can do this. We can forget about before and start again, just you and me"
Santana shook her head lightly, "I don't know if I can do that Quinn" she said quietly, finally airing her true feelings out.
"I love you Quinn, but I don't trust you. I don't think I can be with you right now."
"What?" Quinn said, completely heartbroken upon hearing those words. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I think we should take a break, until we figure out how to get past this"
"You don't need to do this San, we can get past this together. Please Santana" Quinn begged.
"I do Quinn. I think I need to be on my own right now Q"
"So this is it? We're over?" Quinn said defeatedly.
Santana nodded her head. "For now, yeah. I need to figure out how to get back to the old me."
"The old you?" Quinn didn't like the sound of that. The old Santana slept and played a lot of girls and the thought of Santana becoming that person again made Quinn feel sick.
"The old me who knew how to survive without you, because right now all I can think about is forgetting about all the problems we have and carrying on with you like nothing's wrong"
"Why can't we?"
"Because those problems don't go away Q. No matter how far I push them back they're still there. I need to focus on myself right now. I know it sounds selfish but right now it's what I have to do" Santana said as she stepped forward and wiped away the tears that were falling from Quinn's eyes.
"So where does this leave us?"
"Friends? For now, and then maybe we can work on it"
At least they had some hope, Quinn thought.
"Can we even do that? Be friends?"
"I think so. I don't want to lose you from my life Q, you're too important."
Quinn didn't want that either. She definitely wouldn't be able to cope without Santana in her life, she needed her in some way and if that meant being just friends for now she would take it.
"Okay" Quinn reluctantly agreed. She knew that she owed Santana this, no matter how hard it would be for her. "Friends"