Chapter 2: Problems in Ze Air!

Location: Hellsing-Outside-Field

Date: Present: Thursday June 24th (Two days before)

Time: 11:45 pm (3 hours later)

"Good Practice Today, Geese!" Pip announced as he began walking toward the overly exhausted men who were panting and sweating. Seras began to hand out water bottles to all the tired men much to their delight. She then joined at her captain's side and gave him a water bottle.

Pip smiled and wrapped one arm around Seras. "I ESPECIALLY want to thank our booby goddess for taking the time to help us train into becoming even MORE sexy."

He then raised his water bottle and shouted. "TO SERAS!"

"TO SERAS!" The Wild Geese men screamed as they chugged the water and began to whistle at Seras, who was shaking her head from embarrassment.

"Tcch…Men." Seras muttered as everyone in the field laughed.

Pip winked at Seras. "Don't act like you don't like it!"

Seras playfully pushed him away from her and smiled. "Sorry to disappoint you and everyone else out here Captain. But I'm afraid I am not acting."

Pip then swaggered his way toward Seras and replied while raising his eyebrows in a seductive tone. "Oh, but I'm afraid you are my little Mignonette. For you see my one green eye sees the truth. And you my dear little Seras, are lying to this sexy face right here."

"Ooo la la la!"

Then Cyrus, the youngest mercenary moaned aloud which made the other Wild Geese members go into a laughing frenzy. Seras angrily turned her back at everyone, trying to cover her flushed cheeks.

"Honestly. Don't you all have better things to do then to make fun me? Things like I dunno…Take a shower!" Seras said as she gave them a side glance.

The Wild Geese men stopped their laughter and began sniffing themselves. Seras snickered and pinched her nose. "Phew! You guys stink worse than the zombie ghouls themselves…Especially you Captain! The funny thing is that you didn't even practice as much as your men did, and yet you are the smelliest one out of all of them!"

Rather than getting angry, Pip gave Seras the biggest perverted smile ever.

"I apologize Mignonette . I guess the reason I stink a lot is because, anytime I am near you and those generous assets of yours…Let's just say I get a little HOT. " Pip said as wiggled his eyebrows at her as the rest of the men laughed.

Seras at this point wasn't surprised at his sleazy comeback and began walking away silently, which surprised all the men, especially at Pip. She walked about fifteen feet away while shouting "Well then. Then I suggest you stay away from me Captain…or else…"

Seras turned and then did something which stunned and turned on every member of the Wild Geese group. She batted her long black eyelashes and gave a cold look at the men with her piercing ice blue eyes. She then pouted her baby pink lips and began to show one fang.

"Or else, I might BITE you one of these days and turn your sweaty "hot" body into a FREEZING corpse if you know what I mean. "

Then everyone began to freeze at their place and were confused why they were frightened yet so aroused at Seras's threat.

Seras then shot her head back and hollered at laughter. "HAHAHA OH MAN! THAT WAS GREAT! I SO WISH I HAD A CAMARA RIGHT NOW! I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN ALL YOUR SCARED FACES! MORE IMPORTANLY YOURS CAPTAIN!"

She then began relaxing a little she then walked off by shouting. "Calm down everyone. I was only kidding. I wish I can stay a little longer but it seems that night is still young for me and I must report back to my master and begin my vampire training now. Good night everyone! Sleep Tight!"

The Wild Geese gasped for air and then sighed from relief. Then they all began to immediately talk about how incredibly hot Seras looked a few moments ago.

Gus, A brown haired guy with glasses, began to moan. "Oh! Man, I so wanted to scream in fear yet at the same time I wanted to…kiss those plumpy pink lips!"

"I know right? Who knew the girl could be as sexy as her body!" John replied laughing

"Hey! Cut it out!" Cyrus cut in. "We shouldn't be talking about the Captain's girl like that. He might get pissed and kick our asses! "

"The hell you talking about, Cy?" Mike, a darker skinned with a gray cap asked. "You honestly believe the Captain has feelings for her?

Cyrus nodded. Most of the men laughed while John, Cyrus, and a few other men were quiet.

Mike chuckled some more. "Hey? The hell you guys aren't laughing. Are you all crazy? Captain! Can you believe this? They think you-"

But before Mike could finish his sentence they all saw the huge red blush on their Captain's face, which stunned them.

"Wait a second! " Mike said wide eyed. "Are you fuckin serious!"

"WHHHHHHAAAATTTTT!" Most of the men shouted in complete shock.

John shook his head. "Shit you guys, the real shocker here is you all didn't realize this before!"

"I know." Cyrus added. " I mean, I supported this pairing since the day they met!"

All the men gave Cyrus a weird look. "Judge me all you want, I can't help if I'm a romantic type! Only a REAL man can admit to that. Anyway, Don't you think that Bernadotte and Seras make a great couple? "

Several of the few men who knew earlier of the captain's feelings for Seras nodded.

The oldest man of the Wild Geese, a raven haired main with a bear and oval specs whom they called "Doc" since he was the head medical doctor of the Wild Geese, man said. "Really. I have to agree with John and Cyrus here. It was very obvious from the start. I have never been so ashamed to be part of this group of dense men up until now! If I was your captain I'd-"

"Haha that's enough, Doc. " Pip interrupted as he took a cigarette out. "Pssh. Obvious from the start huh? Damn you John, Cy, Doc, and the rest of the few who knew all along. "

Pip then lite his cigarette breathed the smoke in for a moment and blew it out slowly. "Well, at least you didn't tell Seras how I felt in front of all the rest of my idiot Geese clan. So I guess I can thank you all for that. "

Mike and the entire Geese men began to comically sulk to the ground. Cyrus and John began to engage in mini victory hoe down dance while the Doc shook his head along with the few men who knew.

Pip blinked for a moment and smirked. "Well men, now that you all know my "little secret" now. It seems I have no choice but to kill you all. "

The Wild Geese began to comically shriek in fear, which made Pip laugh. "Calm down you pansies. I was kidding. Although… "

Pip began to blow more smoke out of his mouth. "I'd appreciate it if ALL of you would keep this on the down low from Walter, Sir Integra, and especially Mr. Alucard for a while. If word gets out, then I'll have to I'll make sure Mr. Alucard has a few options for a midnight snack."

The Wild Geese sulked as their Captain began to mention Alucard and how they got the chills anytime they were reminded of the huge scary looking vampire. "YES SIR!"

"Good! Now…HIT THE SHOWERS! I'm headed toward the barracks. I'm tired as hell and I gotta get ready for my birthday party on Saturday."

Pip began walking ahead of the men while twisting his long red braid that was wrapped around his neck like a scarf. "Oh and one more thing. If you publically make inside jokes, puns, or remarks about my secret in front of Seras….I will make sure that Alucard knows all those dirty remarks you said about his flawlessly beautiful Sir, Integra. "

At that moment, The Wild Geese turned pale white from the thought of how Alucard would react if he found out and had goose bumps of the consequences.

"Good." Pip waved, as he began to disappear into Hellsing barracks. "I'm glad we are all in the same page."

The moment their captain was far enough from the field, the men were about to go and clean up the field when they heard four yelps. They turned and saw the sound came from Mike and three other men, Simon, Adam, and Tony.

"OH SHIT. NOT GOOD." Mike remarked.

Adam nodded. "This is not gonna end well."

"We're gonna die. " Simon gulped.

"DAMN IT MIKE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU SUGGEST THE IDEA?" Tony shouted as he smacked Mike in the head.

The rest of the Geese looked at each other and until Cyrus asked. "What the hell you guys talking about?"

Mike, Simon, Adam, and Tony began to give each other a nervous look and then looked down. The Doc looked at John for a moment and John nodded. They began walking toward the four men.

"Okay assholes. As your lieutenant, I demand to know what's going on? Why do you all have that stupid guilty and worried looks on your faces? John asked firmly which made the four men more nervous.

Adam bravely spoke first. "Well you ss-ssee…It's k-kinda like thisss.."

"Umm…you know how it's going to be The Captain's birthday on Saturday right?" Tony managed to quickly say.

John nodded. "Yeah? "

Simon began to rub his neck. "Well we wanted to do you know…something special for him."

It was the Doc's turn to speak. "So? What's wrong with that?"

Adam, Simon, and Tony all comically shouted and pointed. "WE PINCHED IN FOR THE MONEY BUT MIKE CAME UP WITH AN IDEA!"

Then all eyes were turned to Mike who began to lower his head down. "Well...Do you remember that night we came to London right after we won that battle in Colombia? We didn't have a chance to celebrate our victory there since we were rushed to England so suddenly. So we ended up celebrating and partying the moment we got here before we reported to Hellsing."

Cyrus smiled remembering that night. "Oh yeah...That was a GREAT night. But how does that relate to Pip? "

Mike gulped. "You see. Do you remember that night we saw the hottest woman in that bar we decided to go to? The one who had dark brown hair, huge plumpy red lips, the sexiest pair of gray eyes, and that amazing body? "

All the men gawked as they remember that specific hooker since she was one of the most beautiful woman they seen in their life. Then all the men snapped out of it and John replied "Yeah...I remember. She was so gorgeous! Yet out of all us men, she saw Captain Bernadotte and - "

Then before John could finish he whispered. "Mike...what did you do?"

"I ran into her when we all had those two days off when the Captain, Seras, and Alucard went to Brazil for that mission. " Mike started as he began to sweat some more. "It turns she remembered me and asked about Bernadotte. We got to talking and then since I remembered how those two were "getting along" well that night in the bar, it hit me. So one thing lead to another and...I invited her here...for his birthday."

All the men stared at Mike for a second until John upper punched his chin. "YOU IDIOT! THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR? INVITING A HOOKER...TO THE HELLSING MANOR...WITHOUT PERMISSION! "

Miked whimpered for a moment. "I was only thinking of the captain!"

"MORON!" It was Cyrus's turn to punch him. "What the hell man! Are you trying ruin everything! Seras is coming to the party! This could have been their chance for something DAMN IT! "

Mike rubbed his head. "How was I supposed to know the Captain had feelings for Seras and he was planning to invite her to the party?"

Doc sighed. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"UNVITE.-what was her name again?" John asked, to which Cyrus answered immediately as he whispered her name in his ear. "Oh, thanks! UNVITE Candy Shimmerspice "

The men suppressed their laughter at the woman's stage name and began nodding along with their lieutenant.

Mike shook his head. "It's kinda too late. We already paid her in advance and plus show knows everything about when the party will start, where it will be."

Cyrus then muttered. "Well go find her and tell her, it's cancelled, tell her Pip died from an accident, TELL HER HE'S GAY, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW YOU DO IT, YOU WILL FIND THE WOMAN AND LIE, LIE, LIEEEEE DAMN IT!"

The atmosphere began to get awkward and a tumbleweed began to blow across the geese men.

"Umm...yeah what he said..." John started. "Adam, Simon, Tony and of course the idiot of the hour Mike will go first thing in the morning to find "Candy" before the party."

Adam, Tony, Simon, and Mike began to sulk while the Geese Men began head for the showers.

"Oh boy..." Cyrus said to John. " I hope they find her and fix this."

"They better." John sighed. "But you know, I can't help but feel this is not going to end well."

Location: Hellsing Mansion:-Seras's Room

Date: Present: Thursday June 25th (One day before)

Time: 3:30 am

"Master! PLEASE!" Seras whined to a very annoyed Alucard. "Come on! Please? Don't you want to go with me? I heard it was going to be cloudy and there was going to be an 80 percent chance of rain tomorrow which is a perfect day and night to go shop!"

"For the last time Police Girl. I am NOT going to waste my precious sleep time to go out "shopping" with you tomorrow."

Seras began to pout and cry. "You're mean!"

"I never said I was nice. So why the sudden desire to go shopping?" Alucard asked smiling since he knew that answer.

Seras flapped her arms and stuttered. "N-n-no reason. Just thought I'd, you know. Get some new clothes, makeup, and other things a girl would want! I mean I have a lot of money saved up from when I was human and not to mention I get those very generous checks I get from Sir Integra and-. "

"Stop blabbering police girl." Alucard snickered. "Apart from those long list of reasons, I also get the feeling this has to do with a certain French mercenary...Am I wrong, Police Girl?"

"EEP!" Seras whimpered.

'Damn my master for his mind reading abilities.'

"Now, now child. Don't use such language in front of you master!" Alucard playfully scolded. "That aside. I suggest you find yourself a new shopping partner. I just can't stand the whole idea of shopping in public during the day."

Seras sighed at her master's response. She was pretty sure he was in a good mood since she did extremely well at her practice today. Although Alucard was a little disappointed that she didn't drink an entire blood packet, Seras did took a mini sip. It satisfied him enough for the moment.

"I'm going to go and mediate on my own. Do what you like for the reminder of the night Police Girl." Alucard began as he began to walk towards the door.

Seras sighed. "Right...See you Master."

She began walking until she heard the words. "Scarves."

She turned to see her master who stopped at the door. "I understand that your captain likes scarves. The first reason being so obvious since he wears a red one. The other being-"

"He wears his braid as one too..." Seras finished smiling. "Thank you master!"

Alucard grunted. "Idiot."

He left while Seras began to write it down. She then began to sit on her coffin and began to think what kind of scarf she should get the captain and in what color.

"Hmm. He has a red one. Maybe he'll look good in a black scarf? Nah. Blue? I don't think so. Errr...I got it green! It'll match his eye perfectly! But still a scarf isn't just enough. I mean sure I will knit it myself just for him but I feel I should give him something more; BUT WHAT! "

Seras began to groaned as she lay on top of her close coffin. During her little sulk fest, she began to remember all the conversations that she had with her captain. She closed her eyes and smiled at the funny stories he told her.

"Of course! I got it" Seras shouted while pounding her right fist.

Seras began to recall two days ago when she had that deep conversation with her captain in Brazil. She began to remember and right down everything Pip liked and disliked. This took about ten minutes. She then looked at the list and circled twenty-six things on the list.

She smiled. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I REALLY can't wait to go shopping tomorrow! It'll be fun! But I still have to find someone to shop with. Well I got the whole night to figure that out."

With that, Seras folded the piece of paper and stuffed it in her pocket shirt and began to go inside her coffin for an early night's (in this case day's) sleep.

*Note: Uh oh! Epic fail in Mike's part! XD

So I had to make up a couple of Wild Geese OC's since I didn't want everyone to be the same. I wanted to show them having different personalities a little. (I LOVE those guys XD)

Hope you like it ^^