Thank you guys for your reviews! you're too kind :3
This is my first attempt ever at writing fanfiction... also at writing in English, so... well, let's see where this story goes... I hope I won't disappoint you!
P.S.: I don't own Glee! I wish.
Later that night, the endorphins released by the thrill of the performance brought Blaine and Kurt closer.
"I really missed this" said Blaine, his hand slowly drawing circles on Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt thought about it. Since Blaine had moved out from the apartment, they hardly had intimacy time with each other. Sure, they always found time to relieve themselves one way or another, but intimacy, or just cuddling, like they were doing right now… well, it was a rare gift, given that they usually met at school or for dinner.
"Yeah… I know what you mean" Kurt agreed, then turned around on Blaine's arms to look right at him "I really miss it too" he conceded, and witnessed Blaine's eyes going wide with longing and hope "… we should, ahem, find more time for us, yeah" he quickly added, panic running all over him. He might miss Blaine's arms around him every now and then, but they were absolutely not ready to live together again.
Blaine's look turned sadder, and the boy simply sighed. "I know… June's gotten me so busy lately" he commented. "I'm gonna ask her to cut me some slack… my fiancé comes first" he smiled, quietly.
Kurt shook his head "No, Blaine, that's fine. That woman is being nothing but dedicated to you and your promising career. It's not a small deal, you know…" Kurt really struggled to find the right words. "And, even if that means seeing you less often than I'd like to… I must admit- well, that I'm really happy for you" he assured him.
"Thank you, Kurt" Blaine added, a genuine smile on his lips. "I know it hasn't been easy for you-"
"No, Blaine! That's what I'm trying to tell you… I'm really doing fine, I mean it" Kurt said. "Even before tonight… Okay, of course tonight's performance has everything to do with this thrill I'm feeling, but… Doing something on your own, or like you said - owning your victories, it feels great and that's what you're doing too, making your own path towards… an even better self... and I like the new Blaine I'm seeing lately" Kurt encouraged him. He really wanted Blaine to keep up with his newly found own rhythm, instead of the clinginess he went through when they were living together.
"But it's… it's just this woman, Kurt," Blaine insisted. "I mean, I really appreciate what June's been doing for me, but I'd much rather walk that path beside you-"
"But you are!" Kurt cut him and sit up, exasperation asking to govern him. He took a deep breath. "Blaine, we… we are together even if we're not taking every single step of the way by the hand… I just- I wish you understood that" Kurt said, a hint of anxiety playing on his throat.
Blaine looked taken aback and regretful "I know, I know, Kurt! I'm sorry, really, I am…" he moved his hand tentatively to reach Kurt's but then stopped midway, unsure. "I just… miss you, that's all, but I completely understand what you're saying" he nodded, trying to look as convincing as possible.
Kurt gulped down. We could continue this conversation forever, and it wouldn't make any difference, he thought. "I'm right here, Blaine… I'm right here" that's all he said, laying down again. "Let's just… have tonight, all right? Just cuddle me" he told his boyfriend.
/
Two hours went by, and Kurt was still wide awake. Blaine had dozed off long ago, so his arms were no longer around him, oppressing him, Kurt thought, and immediately felt bad about it. He needed some air, so he got up and went to the living room.
He walked towards the balcony, determined to make good use of that fantastic fire escape, but his eyes caught a glimpse of Blaine's laptop laying on top of the living room table. They had forgotten it there after watching some episodes of Project Runway earlier. Without as much as giving it a thought, he grabbed it and finally opened it when reaching the staircase.
It was about to dawn, Kurt noticed, and the view distracted him for a moment. He contemplated the views, fascinated, taking appreciation of the big city below him, sleeping like a very big baby. It looked so harmless like that, compared to the way it looked during the day.
Then he remembered the laptop on his lap, and some weird resolution hit him. He looked at the windows left opened and clicked on Facebook. Blaine's account was logged in, and Kurt couldn't help himself. I'm just curious, he repeated himself, for reassurance.
He clicked on the browser and started to type Sebast- when three suggestions appeared: Sebastian Abrams, Sebastian Smythe, and Sebastian Waters. All of them were Facebook-friends with Blaine. He looked at the second one and rolled his eyes. Of course you're friends with him, he thought amused.
He clicked on Sebastian Smythe and his profile page appeared. He didn't know what the hell he was exactly looking for. It wasn't like Sebastian's profile page would help him make sense of Edna's grandson mystery, but still… Curiosity took the best of him.
/
"You don't look so good" Rachel commented to a sleepy Kurt who had just hit his hip against the kitchen table.
"Dammit" Kurt mumbled, rapidly caressing his aching hip. That ridiculously low table. "I swear to God, Rachel, as soon as you're getting rich, you're buying us a new table" he grumpily pointed a finger at her, and then added "a higher one".
"Okay, that was a low blow, but I'll let it slip because you don't look like you caught much sleep last night, am I wrong?" Rachel asked, not exactly concerned, Kurt thought, but… understanding.
"Yeah… No comments, please" Kurt replied and casted her a smile, to thank her gesture.
"You're gonna have to talk about it eventually, Kurt" she sang-song, and Kurt rolled his eyes at her.
"Nothing to talk about, Rachel" he mimicked her singing tone.
"Whatever" Rachel mumbled while offering Kurt his fix of coffee.
"Thank you, sweetie" he said.
"You're welcome" she kissed his cheek "There's some coffee left for Blaine, okay? I'm going to the theatre now, so I won't be back until…" she started counting with her fingers but got irritated and stopped, looking exhausted. "See you tomorrow".
"Have a nice day, beautiful" he offered, feeling more at ease and less grumpy. The coffee was already starting to kick in.
He heard the door shut and looked around, expecting to see a newspaper somewhere close. He picked it up and spent a quiet and comforting half an hour in absolute silence. Kurt wasn't a morning talker, so he was more than happy to have breakfast alone. Thank God for Rachel's crazy schedules, he thought. It was in moments of quiet like this, real early in the morning, when he imagined he was actually living on his own. He had the apartment for himself and it felt like a victory, and that victory he did like to own.
"Morning, Kurt!" a ridiculously awake Blaine greeted him, planting one kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt observed Blaine moving around the kitchen like he did just that every day, and he could feel his grumpiness rising again. For a while, Kurt had actually forgotten that he was not alone on his flat.
"Morning" he mumbled, trying to hide his irritation. If earlier he could easily dismiss Rachel's attempts at talking by the natural instinct of being still asleep, now there was nowhere to hide from the voice on the back of his mind asking: What's wrong with me?
/
Kurt had to wait a few days to gather some needed courage in order to go visit the sweet old people at the Lexington Home. It wasn't that he was scared of them, of course not. It was that he was scared of his own face giving him away when listening to Edna's stories about her family.
Curiously enough, Maggie and Edna had become some sort of second family to Kurt. He could never got tired of watching their brilliant storytelling. Even if they were only talking about their old cats, Kurt would be able to practically taste their skills. They were pure artists, and their lives could only be performed, more than told.
His favourite storyteller was Edna by far. While Maggie was more amusing and entertaining (she always talked like she was addressing a dedicated audience), Edna, on the other hand, looked you right in the eye and made you feel like there was no one else in that room she would prefer to tell that.
There was something, though, that both old ladies had in common: Maggie and Edna seemed to have developed a unique ability to look right through Kurt and know the state of his soul. And that's why Kurt was delaying the weekly visit he had promised them once the play was over. And those old people were feeling abandoned enough by their families. Kurt could not did the same.
"Pillsbury!" Maggie greeted him with enthusiasm. Kurt smiled back.
"Hey Maggs! How are you doing? Still high from the show, huh?" he asked sweetly. It took them less than five seconds to start laughing.
"Oh, you know me so well, Peter!" Maggie was looking gentler than Kurt had ever seen her, and he was pretty sure of the reason.
"Someone looks beaming today, am I wrong?" he winked. "Where is Edna?" he asked as soon as he realised the old lady was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, don't get me started! The old crank's been even more insufferable with her infinite rants, dear God!" she moved her hands exaggeratedly. Show time, Kurt thought. "But… ah, I can't blame her, Kurt. She has one hell of a sweet pie for a grandchild… and so handsome!" Kurt gulped down.
"Is he? How sweet" that's all he managed to say. It didn't matter because Maggie wasn't finished yet.
"… And the way he talks, Kurt, oh my. I can see Edna's doing there. You see? Maybe the old crank wasn't all lying about spending that much time with her grandchildren after all" she added in a sadder tone. Kurt stared at her. "What? Don't give me that look, Pillsbury! Who would have thought?!"
"I would have, Maggie. You could tell me you were Cleopatra in another life, for all I know, and I would believe you" Kurt joked and they both chuckled. But he could see her point. "You can't complain yourself, lady. I hear someone's daughter came to pay a visit, huh?" he asked, cheekily. He was quite proud of his well doing there.
Her face lightened like a blooming rose. "Isn't she the prettiest? She's so elegant, Pillsbury…" Maggie looked hesitant for a moment. Kurt waited. "Can I tell you something, Kurtie? I'm actually really glad that she didn't go and inherit all my ridiculous stardom ambition, you know? That she is pursuing a career on a non-public scene, see what I mean?" Kurt did, so he nodded, briefly enough for Maggie to continue her speech. "I mean it, Kurt. This business is so harsh… I hope times had changed, mostly for your sake, sweetheart" Maggie genuinely smiled and it melted Kurt's insides.
"I know you care, Maggie. Thank you" he went for a brief hug with the petite lady. "But you don't need to worry about me losing my mind over it, you know that, right? Broadway is a dream, but it's only one of the many dreams Kurt Hummel treasures" he grinned. And it was the truth. Kurt hadn't had no one to tell this earlier, since he hardly saw his friends lately, but he actually enjoyed writing the adaption of Peter Pan. As well as choosing the wardrobe, mind you.
"I'm really happy to hear that" Maggie beamed at him and pointed at a table so they could sit and have some tea together, as it was customary for them. "It's the exact same I was telling Edna and that gorgeous boy of hers the other day" Gorgeous, Kurt gulped down again.
"Sure" he added, since it appeared that Maggie always waited for confirmation to keep on talking.
"I was relieved to know that kid is also treasuring other dreams, as you put it" she said and snapped her fingers at the nurse. Kurt could swear Maggie thought they were at some café. He wanted to say something about her manners, since he was a waiter himself, but got distracted by the image of Sebastian being such a versatile person. Apart from sex and singing, what else could he be into?
The nurse started setting the table for their very own tea-party. She smiled at Kurt, acknowledging him. Kurt nodded and smiled back, as in saying hello.
"I'm not sure I follow" he told Maggie. "I mean, I know he attends NYU, but I figured he'd be on the Arts program or something" he said frankly.
"Oh no, nothing like that" Maggie assured him. "He wants to be a doctor".
Kurt had to control himself from choking on his tea. Doctor Sebastian Fucking Smythe, are you kidding me? His throat made a weird cough-like sound instead, and Maggie stared at him.
"You okay, sweetie?" she asked.
"Yeah, ahem, I'm fine, don't worry." He stopped to breath. "Just didn't see that coming" he added nervously and suspected a blush coming. Damn my cheeks.
"Well neither did I!" she exclaimed. "I can see why you'd think that, Pillsbury, with all the grandiloquent speeches about Bas being a natural and his endless skills" Maggie had the humour to mimic Edna here and Kurt realised she had missed his awkward almost-choking moment. Apparently, she just thought that he was as suspicious as her about the big reputation Edna had built around her little Bas. "He's a sweet good-looking boy, I'll give you that, but I bet the kid can't even sing" she chuckled cheekly.
Kurt considered for a moment to laugh along, but somehow it felt wrong. It would be like backing up that lie. If there was one thing Kurt respected, that was art, no matter whose. "I'm actually sorry to differ here, Maggs, but Bas can really sing. And dance too" he assured her.
"How would you know, sweetheart?" Maggie asked, a mix of intrigue and confusion dancing in her eyes. "Did Edna show us a video of him? I think I would recall…" she mused, bringing up her index finger to hold the weight of her head on her chin.
"Oh, she didn't, so you wouldn't remember" he corrected himself. He didn't want to give away that he already knew Bas, but… Wait, why was he feeling like defending the meerkat's honour? A very long half minute passed with Kurt distracting himself from Maggie's stare by drinking some more tea. He looked up, willing to face the weight of those old eyes, but found no courage left on him and innocently asked: "You want some more tea, Maggs?"
"No, thank you, Kurt" she replied, eyes still not leaving Kurt's actions. When another silence followed, she insisted: "So?"
"Mmh?" Kurt mumbled, bringing up the cup to his mouth again to buy himself some time. "What is it, dear?" he asked, mindless.
"How would you know that little Bas can sing?" she repeated again, calmly, now only intrigue running free on her eyes. Little Bas – gross, he thought.
Kurt sighed. The lady was just too much. "Fine" Maggie smiled, pleased. "You nosy lady" he accused her sticking out his tongue. "I met him back in high school…" he stopped to think of what to say next, and quickly decided for the short version… for Edna's sake. "I was in my school choir, and so was him at his own school, and we competed against each other at Regionals" he commented. "Needless to say, my school choir won" he winked, amused, "but he was his choir soloist, and that much I envied, to be honest" Kurt gave a crooked smile.
"Was he good, then?" Maggie inquired, curiosity taking the best of her.
"Actually… yes, he was. Blaming their defeat on him wouldn't be fair. I would blame it on his choir style, though. Too old-fashioned and way too focus on just one soloist, you know? The other talented kids just sway in the back, fake smiling, and working their ass out to be synchronised. Pretty boring" he stopped right there afraid of having said too much. Should he omit that he used to attend that school too?
"You seem to know his school choir dynamic well enough, Kurtie" Maggie observed.
"Well…" he gave in – what was the use of lying? Surely Edna would find out soon enough, if she hadn't already. "I attended that school for a while. But that was before Sebastian was even there" he assured her, "and, also, that's where I met my boyfriend" he added, full of joy.
"Your fiancé, you mean" a sudden voice offered, coming from behind. Kurt didn't need to turn around to know it was Sebastian's, but he did anyway.