I forgot: I don't own Glee! x)
Again, thank you for the reviews! I loved them! I'm quite intrigued myself to find out about who Sebastian Smythe really is ;)
"Your fiancé, you mean" a sudden voice offered, coming from behind. Kurt didn't need to turn around to know it was Sebastian's, but he did anyway.
Kurt was about to bitch out hard on Sebastian, giving him something like ''I can still call him my boyfriend, dumbass' but stopped on his tracks when he regarded the boy in front of him. Maybe it was that Sebastian's voice hadn't changed on the slightest, or maybe that his Facebook page was still way too flooded with old photos from his Warblers' days (Kurt had noticed with annoyance the other night – but what was he expecting to see?). Whatever the reason, Kurt was expecting to see a teenage boy sporting the CW hair and the Dalton dark blue blazer, staring at Kurt with obvious repulsion on his eyes. Instead, he was presented with an attractive male whose looks were somehow smart but casual, whose hair looked nothing but sculpted by Michelangelo himself, and whose smile was cheeky, in a childish way. Repulsion was not something to be read either from Sebastian or Kurt.
"Yeah… that's right" Kurt could only say, feeling dumb enough. Then he wondered: God, why did he keep forgetting to update Blaine's status? "Thank you" Kurt said, minding his cup of tea and wishing the other boy wouldn't notice his blush.
"Anytime" Sebastian emphasized. "It's a memory hard to erase, you know?" Sebastian told Maggie, enjoying a private joke of his and offering her grandma a chair. He sat beside Kurt.
"What is it, sweetheart?" asked Maggie, trying to catch up with Sebastian's naturally malicious remarks.
"Kurt's proposal" Sebastian fucking replied, to Kurt's discomfort. Kurt had conveniently omitted Sebastian being involved in his proposal, thank you very much. Why would he mention that? As Kurt remained silent, and maybe a little tense, the boy added: "I've always been good friends with Kurt's fiancé, Blaine." Ha! You wish, Kurt thought, but took the chance to speak.
"Yeah, as I was telling you, Maggie" he decided to avoid Sebastian's intense stare, "I met my boyfrie- fiancé in that school of theirs" he chuckled awkwardly, trying to regain some domain in the conversation.
"Oh, so you two really did know each other, then" Maggie smiled, a hint of curiosity sparkling on her eyes.
"No" Kurt stated.
"Yes-" said Sebastian simultaneously.
"Well, not really" Kurt looked at Sebastian with suspicion. "Like he said… he's friends with my soon-to-be-husband." Wait, what? What was that for? Kurt hated that expression! Then he noticed Edna looking at him with a gentle smile, and slowly felt himself relaxing. What was he so nervous about? It was just Sebastian. And a woman who truly loved him, so Sebastian wouldn't go as far as to misbehave himself… or would he? He didn't count on Maggie being her impertinent self, though.
"You keep saying that, Pillsbury, but you behave like a friend even when you think you're not" added Maggie, no harshness in her voice. Just commenting. But God, could she stop commenting!
"How come?" asked Sebastian, playing the disinterested. Just kill me already, Kurt prayed to a God he didn't believe in.
"Kurtie here was defending your good name just a moment ago, you missed it by a minute, Bas" Maggie sounded so cheerful that Kurt felt real violent. Defending the meerkat's good name, argh.
"Is that so, Kurtie?" Sebastian mocked him, playfully moving his hand to touch Kurt's arm, to which Kurt responded widening his eyes in shock and putting his arm away discreetly.
"Don't flatter yourself, Bas" Kurt narrowed his eyes, trying hard to mentally wipe out that annoying smirk playing on Sebastian's face. "I merely confirmed that Edna's continuous praises about your skills aren't completely… unfounded – for Edna's good name' sake, not yours."
"Jesus Christ… not completely unfounded" Sebastian repeated, incredulous. "I'm actually offended at that, Hummel" Sebastian said, almost unpleased.
"Why?" asked Kurt, a little surprised. Was Sebastian actually expecting Kurt to compliment him or what? "Your ego is spoiled enough so don't-" Kurt stopped as he locked eyes with Edna, suddenly remembering that he was not alone with Sebastian. Ups. Very bad timing to make a reappearance, bitchiness.
"My God, Hummel… You're losing it" Sebastian quickly followed, playing the disappointed. "I wasn't asking for a compliment, you misfit, but for your actual opinion about my performing skills; which is far from good, I'm sure" he chuckled, staring at Kurt with disbelief.
Then Kurt realised. Sebastian was actually waiting for Kurt to slash him. To criticize him. Sebastian was waiting for bitchy-Kurt. Oh wow.
"Are you serious?" Kurt asked without thinking, but didn't wait for a reply "That was my actual opinion about your performing, Sebastian" Kurt stated. "If you insist, though, I can gladly express my poor opinion about your persona" Kurt tried to smirk but ended up giving a generous smile.
One thing not many people knew was that Kurt had really been struggling to keep his bitchiness at bay since junior year, and there was a reason: he really didn't like his bitchy side. And it kind of saddened him that somebody would expect him to sharpen his claws like that. Even if that somebody was Sebastian. Was that what he wanted people to remember him for?
Both Edna and Maggie chuckled, amused, contemplating the exchange of sharp remarks between the two boys, being the audience for a change.
Sebastian opened his mouth to respond, but then no sound escaped it. Kurt could tell Sebastian didn't know how to proceed with the new and non-bitchy Kurt, and, to be honest, neither did himself. As far as Kurt could remember, he had always been hostile towards Sebastian out of instinct. He shivered at the realisation: back in high school, whenever he saw Sebastian's smirk, Kurt got defensive but rose and prepared for the fight. Now he just felt… uneasy. Like, really uneasy.
"Well… I guess I must thank you, then" Sebastian finally said after what it felt like the longest pause in history ever. "Ahem-" Sebastian cleared his throat, "-thank you for defending my virtue, ladyface" Sebastian winked.
"Bastian!" Edna exclaimed with disapproval, slapping softly her grandchild's hand. "Where are your manners, sweetheart?" she rolled her eyes at him, then approached Kurt. "Don't mind his sharp tongue, Kurtie. There's a heart full of will and love, somewhere underneath the rudeness" she said fondly.
Now it was Kurt's turn to roll his eyes. He did that much but realised fastly that he was being cynical to Edna. Damn meerkat, bringing up the worst in me. "If you say so, Edna" he offered, then stood up. "Well, lady Mag, lady Ed" Kurt acknowledged them to say his goodbyes and turned to Sebastian, considering, and finally decided for: "Meerkat".
"Gayface" Sebastian answered right back grinning like a child who's finally been given a ball to play with.
"Thanks for the delightful meal, my dears" Kurt said happily, feeling at ease for the first time since Sebastian's arrival, "but I must leave you now, if I want to keep my job at the diner… well, want is a strong word-"
"Damn right it is" Sebastian said suggestively. Kurt just rolled his eyes again. Does he feel the pathological need to comment on every possible innuendo?
"Bastian, manners!" Edna tried again, betrayed by her own smile. "Kurtie, Sebastian is gonna make it up to you" she stated with authority, making both Sebastian and Kurt narrow their eyes in disbelief. "Bas, be a dear and give Kurt a lift, won't you?" she demanded and pretended not to hear her grandchild's snort. "Kurt, Sebastian owns a car and won't mind giving you a ride."
"Oh, but I'd very much mind giving ladyface a ride, grandma…" he protested, amused. Yes, it is pathological, Kurt thought.
"It's perfectly fine, Edna. I wouldn't want to risk it and catch something…" Kurt rejected back, giving a crap about manners anymore.
Edna pretended not to notice. "Nonsense, dear. He is driving you and that's final" she stated. Kurt gulped down. Sebastian stood up casually, not nearly as annoyed as Kurt, and looked at him expectantly, as if giving Kurt a lift was everyday business.
" 'Kay then…" Kurt finally conceded, trying not to sound too suspicious.
Sebastian said his goodbyes and caught up with Kurt right at the front door of the nursing centre, grabbing the handle before Kurt could do so, and holding out the door for him.
"Thanks" Kurt mumbled awkwardly.
"Ladies first" Sebastian smiled.
/
Kurt followed Sebastian to a narrow alley, minding his own footsteps and trying not to get disturbed by the immaculate silence they had found themselves immersed in. They reached Sebastian's car, a pretty stunning black Volvo, and got in.
"What happened to you, Hummel?" Sebastian turned around on his seat and stared at Kurt, eyes scrutinising eyes. Kurt stared back at him, eyes wide and hands still trying to fasten his seatbelt. Sebastian frowned at the boy's obvious struggle and said: "Here, let me… it can get stuck sometimes-"
Sebastian tried to grab it but ended up placing his fingers around Kurt's when the boy wouldn't move his hands away. Kurt, of course, had been taken off guard by Sebastian's fast move. Sebastian looked up at Kurt, finding himself unable to move his own fingers now that they were awkwardly and unexpectedly brushing Kurt's. Then Kurt came back to his senses and snatched his own hands away. Sebastian resumed his fight with the seatbelt "… there".
Kurt witnessed the fight while trying to calm his very heavy breathing. Sebastian did have beautiful hands – not that Kurt had noticed, not at all. Then Kurt realised Sebastian's work was done but his hands remained still. "Thanks…" Kurt said coyly, but forced himself to look back at Sebastian, hoping the boy would react and do something, anything, to stop the awkwardness from becoming louder.
It worked, because Sebastian's eyes tingled and the boy rapidly placed his hands on the wheel. "You're welcome" he said, not looking at Kurt and starting the car.
Then Kurt remembered. "What do you mean 'what happened to me'?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. Sebastian smirked and looked more like himself again.
"I meant exactly that, Hummel" he simply replied, aware of the irritation that this answer would gain him from Kurt.
Kurt snorted, annoyed indeed. "Well, would you mind being a little more specific?"
Sebastian chuckled and Kurt's irritation only grew further "I swear to God, it'd appear as if you actually enjoyed annoying me."
Sebastian casted him an amused smile, eyes not completely able to leave the road, since he was driving now. "Of course I do, gayface, what do you find so surprising?" Then headded: "This is how we work, Betty" Kurt made a disgusted face at the nickname, but Sebastian ignored it, "or, at least we used to" he commented.
"Wow, that's a very dysmorphic way of looking at it, Sebastian. May I remind you, it was you who'd like to hit me with your snarkiest comment, and then I'd simply bite back out of instinct and defence".
"Oh, come on!" Sebastian disagreed, "you enjoyed being hurtful just as much as I did!" he pushed, but he didn't actually look offended, just playful. "Just admit it, you'll feel better, Kurt" Sebastian said, patronizing him.
"Kurt" Kurt repeated "–wow, that must be a first".
"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" Sebastian asked, tone full of sarcasm.
"I think I'd prefer you to keep it up with the nicknames… you somehow manage to make my name sound dirty in that filthy mouth of yours" Kurt stormed out.
Sebastian rolled his eyes at him.
"And enjoy is also a strong word" Kurt continued, gaining a new smirk from Sebastian. "Oh, come on, would you stop it with the quest of hidden double meanings? You're not as funny as you think you are" he said, "in fact, you're just childish". Kurt folded his arms, feeling childish himself. Stop it, Hummel.
Sebastian laughed and that exasperated Kurt even more. "Well, I'll take it back, Kurtie. Seems like you didn't lose your superbitchy powers completely" Sebastian conceded, and Kurt felt slightly guilty again. "I was starting to be genuinely concerned, you know? So", a pause, "good to know" Sebastian tried to pull off a concerned look, but, as usual, ended up just chuckling.
"Oh, that's what you meant before" Kurt realised, "that's why you keep expecting me to be harsh on you, isn't it?" Kurt's tone wasn't harsh this time, but regretful.
"Well, I'm just curious. You're… I don't know, you've changed" Sebastian commented, frankly.
"Of course I've changed. Everybody does change, you know? People grow up" Kurt looked taken aback. "Don't try to make it sound like it's a bad thing, because… well, it's not" he presented his case.
Sebastian rolled his eyes at him, again, looking tired. "I know that, gayface. But not necessarily every change is for the best".
Kurt actually stopped and wondered, then asked.
"What are you implying?" Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.
"You're boring now" Sebastian simply said. It didn't matter how many insults and nicknames Kurt had been thrown at all his life… being boring was the worst thing he could think of.
"Boring" he repeated, concern readable all over his eyes.
Sebastian chuckled. "Jeez, calm down. This is what I'm talking about! Two years ago, you would have dismissed every single one of my harsh comments by biting back twice as harsh." Sebastian's words had no malice; they boy was simply trying to speak his mind, and Kurt noticed that. "Now you just… believed me and let my idiotic comment sink in." Sebastian noticed Kurt staring at him with attention, so he added: "That's not boring, that's just…"
"Weak" Kurt completed the sentence for him, looking away.
Sebastian looked regretful. "That's not what I was gonna say, Kurt. I don't think you're weak" he assured him. Weird. But that made Kurt look at him again. "I just think you're restraining yourself so much from letting this harsh side of you show, that it's– well, it just looks like it pains you" Sebastian laughed.
Kurt felt less uneasy now. He might be losing his mind, but for a moment there, he was pretty sure that Sebastian was trying to make him feel better.
But he had never thought it that way; like letting that harsh side of him go would somehow turn out to be bad for him. He decided that it simply made no sense, since his choice had actually been about being a better person. How could 'being a better person' actually... hurt him? Sure, it'd been hard sometimes to repress himself, but it didn't pain him, come on! Or did it?
"Ha" Kurt's mouth let slip. It was not a laugh, just an appreciation. "Pains me…" Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's a choice, Sebastian, of course it doesn't pain me" Kurt stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"So you choose to be this boring?" Sebastian faked concerned, but casted Kurt an amused smile.
"Are you actually disappointed?" Kurt asked ironically and chuckled. But he meant it – it seemed like Sebastian wanted Kurt to be his old self. He wondered, amused: "You're saying you'd like me better otherwise?" it was out before Kurt could realised it. He had gone as far as actually being playful himself. And it felt… good.
"Touché, princess" Sebastian winked, and Kurt felt something inside him moving, really, really alive. He blamed it on the sour tea-biscuits. Sebastian changed the subject: "Okay, Fifth Avenue with…?"
Kurt suddenly felt like being ran over by a truck. "CRAP, we missed the street" Kurt panicked, then checked the time on his mobile phone. "Goddammit, meerkat, you distracted me!" he accused him, gaining a confused and defensive glare from Sebastian.
"Calm down, ladypants! Jeez. I know I'm distracting, babe, but don't take it out on me – I can't help my hotness" he said amused. Kurt slapped his shoulder.
"You idiot! If I'm as much as 10 minutes late, I'm not getting paid that first hour, you understand that?" he stopped himself from adding rich boy, and then wondered why. Sebastian obviously prefered him to be himself… but did Kurt prefer that too? Being himself. Kurt winced at the thought. Did that mean he wasn't usually himself?
Sebastian seemed to take in Kurt's anxiety, because he moved his right hand from the wheel and briefly squeezed Kurt's knee. "Relax" Kurt shivered, unable to stop that merely physical reaction. "I'll talk to your boss, explain we had a car accident, whatever" he said, but Kurt still looked seriously anxious. "Or I'll grant you the biggest tip ever, okay? Just relax, you're freaking me out!"
"Oh, you are the one freaking out here?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "Sweet Gaga, help me bare this cross" he looked up at the sky, dramatically.
"Ahem" Sebastian cleared his throat, faking disturbance. "I don't even know where to start…" he continued, "Gaga is still alive and… well, that was– you're just a weirdo" he laughed.
Kurt smiled a bit, amused. The streetlight went red.
"Drop me here. I'll walk - it's not that far" Kurt prepared himself to leave, looking for a way to open the damn door.
"Here, miss" Sebastian put an arm over Kurt's chest, reaching for the door handle and grabbing it. Sebastian's arm felt heavy on Kurt's chest, and Kurt felt his lungs being slightly oppressed at the touch, but said nothing.
"Well, it was lov-" Sebastian started, but some car's horn interrupted him. He opened his mouth again, but then heard the annoying noise again. He sighed, exasperated. "I fucking hate this city sometimes" he said harshly. "See you around, Hummel".
"Yeah, mmh… thanks for the ride" Kurt smiled coyly, and opened the door.
"Anytime" Sebastian smirked suggestively, just so Kurt could rolled his eyes at him.
"Jerk" Kurt said and slammed the door shut.
/
Kurt needed the walk. He knew the right thing to do was to dive into work 4 hours straight, so he couldn't grant his mind as much as a spair minute to go wandering off. He couldn't bring himself to do it, though.
Wandering about Sebastian, he thought... and grimaced. To be completely honest, Kurt had never given Sebastian a second thought when he had first met him two years ago. Truth was... Kurt used to think that he had the boy all figured out: more likely, just another rich boy whose parents ignored and therefore he took it out on being a total bitch and a manwhore. Kurt had never bothered to find out for real, though. He had just assumed the worst and taken it for sacred truth.
That was two years ago, he thought, trying not to hate himself over nothing. I don't do that anymore... do I? Then he remembered about Elliot Starchild. About the way he had intended to dismiss the talented boy that had actually turned out to be a real friend.
Let's get real, Kurt demanded himself. Sebastian's poor actions spoke for himself back then. There was no way to deny that, and Kurt wanted to be absolutely fair. And, for a minute, he sticked to that, feeling even silly for having thought any differently.
But then he saw it, right in front of him: this big, grey, old wall full of graffiti. Every day he'd walk right by this wall and simply look at it, rather than read any of the graffiti. Today Kurt noticed one of them, slightly bigger than the others, and more coherent... then he realised it was a quote:
"When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself" - Earl Nightingale.