Will, holding Ari's hand, walked through the rec center. Normally, today would be a free day for Ari. She would choose what she wanted to do. If she wanted she could go to the small playground. Maybe do some free dancing in an empty room. Do some gymnastics on the soft equipment.
Today, there was a new option though- softball.
At first, Will didn't make the connection. He knew the rec center had the equipment. He assumed someone finally pulled it out of storage. Will didn't think about who exactly would be supervising.
Will opened the backdoor towards the baseball diamond. As a child, Will spent several hours back there. He learned the game, acquired his skills. Eventually Lucas began making more money and could afford for Will to join a little league team. After that, Will didn't spend as much time there.
Walking out onto the field with Ari brought back several memories. The field needed some maintenance but it was almost exactly how Will remembered it.
"Daddy used to play out here," Will told Ari, swinging their hands together.
"Nu uh," Ari argued, pigtails flopping across her face.
"I did," Will laughed. "I used to swing my bat and run just like this."
Without any warning, Will lifted Ari over his shoulders. He ran around the bases while Ari shrieked and giggled.
Just as Will dramatically jumped onto home plate, he noticed someone. A certain familiar figure that looked all too comfortable on a baseball diamond.
'Oh,' Will paused dead away, staring at Paul and lowering Ari to her feet.
Paul was standing near the dugout and the equipment. The same woman that gave him a tour stood next to him with a clipboard, signing in kids.
"Do you wanna go inside?" Will asked Ari in a strained voice. "You don't have to play this if you don't want to."
Ari, seeing all her little friends standing around, whined.
"Plaaaaaaay," Ari tugged on Will's large hand, dragging him along.
"Right," Will sighed, internally panicking. "Okay, sure."
Reluctantly, Will walked over towards the woman from the rec center and Paul. He hoped he could just sign Ari in and sit in the dugout with the other parents.
Ari skipped off to her group of friends, squealing in excitement, oblivious to Will's dilemma.
"Name?" the woman asked.
"Arianna Horton," Will answered.
Paul, cataloging the equipment, snapped his neck up when he heard Will's voice.
"Ah, Will," the woman smiled. "I was hoping you would show up today."
"Yeah?" Will mumbled, signing the clipboard. He could feel Paul staring at him, literally felt it.
"Yes, you see, Mr. Narita here is going to assist with a new baseball program," the woman explained. "Only we just now realized he doesn't have much experience with children or teenagers. But you…" the woman trailed off.
"I see," Will swallowed nervously. He looked over his shoulder, ensuring Ari was behaving.
"I was hoping you'd be able to assist today," the woman suggested with a wide, hopeful smile. "Just teach Paul the ropes, maybe."
Will could see Paul out of his peripheral vision. He didn't think he would feel like this after all these weeks. He didn't want to feel like this. He thought at least some of his pain would fade.
"Uh," Will licked his lips.
"I would hate to send all these kids home, tell all the parents to forget it," the woman cajoled. "Especially the teen session later in the afternoon. You know how good of a program this is."
Will knew he was being manipulated.
'But she does have a point,' Will twisted his fingers together. 'I don't want to let everyone down.'
"…Just for today?" Will asked shifting from foot to foot.
"Yes, today for sure," the woman nodded. "I doubt he'll need any help after that, unless you want to, of course."
Will smiled painfully.
Paul stood next to Will, alone. He was nervous for several different reasons. He didn't anticipate Will showing up today. He didn't know why the thought didn't cross his mind. He knew Will liked baseball and should have known little Arianna might have inherited the desire.
Will wasn't the only thing making Paul nervous though. What the woman said was true; Paul didn't have experience like this with kids. He didn't know how much or how little to teach them at a time. He didn't know how to handle frustration or tears.
Paul cleared his throat.
"I promise I didn't put her up to this," Paul quietly told Will. "I promise. I'm trying to be respectful of your choices. If you want, you can get out of here. I'll figure things out."
"I told Mrs. Grant I would," Will answered. "Besides, Ari wants to be here."
It was true. Ari, standing with her friends in a lopsided line, buzzed with excitement.
Paul, feeling brave, turned to face Will directly.
"If it gets too uncomfortable," Paul urged. "Please, leave. Or I'll leave, or-or something."
"What did I tell you about making decisions based on me?" Will shot Paul a stern look. "I can handle this. I'm not a baby."
"I know that," Paul shook his head, getting frustrated. "I'm trying to make you as comfortable as possible."
"I didn't ask you to," Will said through his teeth. "Stop making decisions for me."
"Will," Paul said. "What do you want from me?"
"I-," Will made a face. "I don't know. Alright. Just, get through this. That's what I want."
"Okay," Paul agreed.
Rolling his shoulders, trying to concentrate, Paul attempted to get the children's attention. The first session only contained toddlers and primary school age children.
"Excuse me," Paul called.
Everyone ignored him.
Will, rolling his eyes, clapped his hands three times, garnering all the attention.
"Alright, kiddos," Will announced. "This is Mr. Paul. He's going to be your softball teacher. Is everyone ready to get started?"
The children all cheered.
Will turned to look at Paul expectantly.
"Thanks," Paul told Will, grateful.
Will nodded in acknowledgment.
"Hi, everyone," Paul waved one hand. "Our first lesson is going to be what is softball? Can anyone tell me?"
Will took a step back and observed. He only jumped in when the kids got too rowdy, too excited. For the most part, Paul commanded attention.
'But he doesn't know how to handle kids,' Will nearly smiled watching Paul's face when he became overwhelmed.
"Okay," Will stepped in to help again.
After the first session, Will spoke with a few mothers as they rounded up their children. Will was thankful that most of them weren't the gossipy type. Well, he was pretty sure they were. They just made sure not to talk around him.
Today, though, today was different.
"Um," one mother said, staring at Paul. "Interesting lesson, today."
"Yeah," another one chimed in. "It was certainly…something."
"Nice view," another mom quipped as Paul bent over to pick up a dropped ball.
Will snorted, a laugh bubbling out of him.
"Marcy," Will teasingly scolded.
"I'm just saying," the woman shrugged. "Clearly his interests lie outside anything I can offer."
Will's smile slowly dripped off his face, puddling somewhere near his stomach.
"Oh, yeah," another agreed.
"Come on, Will," the last woman elbowed him in the side. "Please, please tell me at least some of those rumors are true. You'd be so stunning together."
"He seems nice," one confirmed. "And he obviously wants you. Does this mean he's officially in your life?"
"We all assumed you were just waiting for an appropriate time to pass," one said. "I'd say it's been enough time. Go for it, Will."
"I'm not," Will denied, astounded by their words. "Paul and I are just, we're not, no."
"Oh, sweetie," one cooed, pinching Will's face. "You're too cute."
"We're not together," Will managed to string a full sentence together. "We're not friends. We're nothing."
"Uh huh, sure," Marcy rolled her eyes. "If that was true you wouldn't be with him here, today."
Will sputtered, mouth opening and closing unattractively as they walked away. Recovering, Will grabbed Ari's hand and her bag. It was time to meet his father at the entrance outside.
Will did his best to disregard the women he spoke to.
'They're just bored,' Will told himself. 'They've spent too long watching soap operas. There's nothing between Paul and I. Not anymore at least.'
"Hey," Lucas greeted Will and Ari, leaning against the wall just outside of the rec center. "What was today's lesson? Just some fun?"
"No," Ari shook her head in rapid succession. "I play with ball!"
"With a ball, huh?" Lucas asked as he took Ari's bag from Will. "What was it called?"
"Ball," Ari insisted. "Mr. Paul teach me."
"What?" Lucas' smile dropped. "Will, what is she talking about?"
"Um," Will pressed his lips together. "Paul is teaching baseball. All of Ari's friends joined his class so she went too."
"Daddy help!" Ari beamed.
Lucas stared at Will incredulously.
"They asked me," Will defended. "I wasn't going to crush Ari's and everyone else's hopes because of a grudge."
"It is not a grudge and you know it," Lucas argued. "I don't like this, Will."
"It's just for today," Will promised, speaking to himself just as much to his father. "I'm helping him out and that's it."
"That better be it," Lucas replied. "Alright, Ari, tell Daddy bye. Grandpa needs to get to work."
"Bye, Daddy," Ari grinned. "Miss you."
"Have fun with Daddy, baby girl," Will kissed the side of her head. "I love you."
"Thank you, for doing this," Paul said as he and Will packed up the equipment at the end of the day. "I would have been lost without you."
"I don't know about that," Will disagreed. He tossed the last of the balls in the box and closed the lid. "One of the parents would have helped out."
"Not with the older kids," Paul denied. "There weren't many of them but they were not gonna listen to me."
"You just have to know how to talk to them," Will shrugged. "It helps that I'm only a little bit older than them."
"Well, still," Paul insisted. "Thank you. I know you didn't want to do this."
"It's not that I didn't want to," Will answered.
Will and Paul picked up the box of softballs and carried it over to a storage shed.
"I just," Will sighed. "I just don't know how to be around you."
"That's why I've been staying out of your way," Paul said. "I know that I ruined things. I mean, not just between me and you, but between you and Sonny."
"It's not all you," Will reluctantly admitted. "You didn't make Sonny do anything. Just like you didn't make me do anything. I should have kept our relationship professional."
"It's not your fault that we became friends," Paul argued.
"Friends," Will scoffed. "Right."
Paul locked up the shed and faced Will.
"I'm sorry, Will," Paul stated firmly, needing Will to understand. "I screwed up. You trusted me and I let you down."
"You did," Will nodded. "But it wouldn't have hurt so much if I didn't let myself get in too deep."
"What does that mean?" Paul asked, heart beating just a bit faster.
"It means I know what not to do next time," Will mumbled.
The two walked in silence until they were back inside the rec center heading towards the exit. Before he could think better of it, Paul spoke again.
"I didn't think I'd miss it this much," Paul said. "Baseball, that is."
"It was your life for a long time," Will commented.
"Yeah," Paul nodded. "But that, seeing those kids get so excited. Watching the older kids hit the ball so easily. I missed that the most, I think, more than playing. Seeing the happiness, the comradery. That's the best part of baseball."
"Well," Will shrugged. "Now, you can teach the game to other people. Help build it from the ground up."
"Yeah," a small, reflective smile spread across Paul's face. "I think I might really like this."
Will almost smiled in acknowledgement. After all the pain, all the hurts, Will knew how much baseball always meant to Paul. Will didn't want Paul, or Sonny for that matter, to be miserable forever.
"Can, um, do you think we could walk to the pub together?" Paul half-asked, half-suggested.
"No," Will answered. When he saw Paul's face fall he sighed. "I have an appointment."
"Oh, right," Paul nodded. "Of course, um, don't worry. I'll make myself scare when you get back."
"You don't have to do anything," Will rolled his eyes and scratched the back of his neck. "Eat downstairs, upstairs. Whatever. I told you to stop basing your decisions on me."
With that, Will turned around and walked away. He was almost late for his therapy session.
Paul watched until Will was out of his sight. It took him a few moments to realize Will wasn't wearing his wedding ring anymore.
With an extra bounce in his step, Paul headed home.
"How did you feel seeing Paul, spending time with him?" Lynn questioned.
"Not good," Will answered. "But, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I mean, it helped that I was distracted. That I had to focus on other things but it still wasn't great."
"Before," Lynn started. "You told me you couldn't look at Paul. That you couldn't think about him without picturing him with Sonny. Is that still true?"
"Not really. I tried not to think at all when I was with him," Will answered. "I didn't automatically think of him with Sonny but it was still in the back of my mind. I knew what Paul did. But it didn't rule over my thoughts."
"That's good," Lynn nodded. "That's progress."
"I just, I don't want to think about that, what Paul and Sonny did, so I don't," Will told her. "It's easier that way."
"I'm sure it is," Lynn agreed. "But I know you think about it a lot."
"Yeah," Will sighed. "It's just hard," Will confessed. "Thinking about Paul doing all that with Sonny and then moving right on to me."
"Well, he told you his feelings were nostalgic," Lynn reminded Will. "That he reconciled those feelings Then he met you."
Will shook his head. He would never get it. He would never get how Sonny and Paul could do what they did and move on like it never happened. Then lie time after time about it.
Will could understand the lying. He knew what it was like to keep a secret, trying to do what you think is best. But it was how Paul lied to Will that confused him.
"Paul saw I was hurting though," Will said. "He knew what Sonny did and he knew how it hurt me. He kept it from me anyway."
"Would knowing have made it better?" Lynn asked. "If Paul told you right away that he slept with Sonny, would you have felt any better? If he told you before Sonny could, if he told you right away?"
"I don't know," Will answered. "I don't know what would have happened. I'd rather have known the truth. I wouldn't have-," Will cut himself off.
"You wouldn't have what?" Lynn tilted her head. "You wouldn't have gotten so close to Paul?"
"I wouldn't have wanted to be close," Will admitted. "Not if I knew he slept with my husband."
"That's true," Lynn nodded. "But you also wouldn't have had anyone there for you after the truth came out. You would have been all alone."
"I guess," Will replied. He hadn't thought of that before.
"Paul helped, didn't he?" Lynn pressed. "He even convinced you to go back to Sonny."
"Why are you doing this?" Will bowed his head, hands fiddling with the edges of his shirt sleeve.
"If you want to get past what happened you need to acknowledge everything," Lynn responded. "Paul hurt you, yes. But he also helped you. I think you need to keep both of those things in mind going forward."
Will nodded. He knew she was right.
"Just like you need to do the same for Sonny," Lynn said carefully.
Sonny was a much touchier subject for Will.
"Sonny's different," Will argued.
"Because he's your husband, yeah," Lynn sat up straighter. "Everything is better and worse since he's your husband. But you can't disregard your entire relationship because of what he did."
"Why can't I?" Will crossed his arms. "I don't know if anything in our relationship was real."
"And you'll never know," Lynn addressed. "Unless you talk to him."
Will averted his eyes, scratching the side of his neck.
"You aren't wearing your ring anymore," Lynn noted.
Will nodded, rubbing against his ring finger. It felt strange not having his ring. He got used to it the few weeks Sonny took his ring to get engraved. But this was different. Will knew he would get the ring back. This time Will doesn't know what was going to happen.
"I don't know if it was meant for me," Will confessed. "Everything else in our relationship was for Paul. I think it might be too."
"Is Sonny the type of person to give you a ring intended for another man?" Lynn pressed.
"I didn't think he was the type to cheat. There's a lot about Sonny I didn't know about," Will answered with a huff.
"I have no idea who Sonny is," Lynn admitted. "I only know what you've told me. But I don't think he would have married you if he didn't love you in some capacity. He wouldn't have immersed himself into your life and your daughter's life."
"He also wouldn't have thrown us away so easily if he loved us the way we deserve," Will spat.
Lynn withheld a cheer. This was perhaps the first time Will ever admitted he deserved better than was given.
"You do deserve better treatment," Lynn agreed. "But how do you know Sonny can't give it to you?"
Will shrugged.
"You won't know, until you talk to him," Lynn reminded Will. "I'm not saying to get back together with him. Just, maybe, consider opening a line of communication. Because if you can't do that, if you can't talk to him, maybe it's time you think about leaving him for good."
Will focused on her face.
"In fact," Lynn jotted something down on the IPad in her hand. "That's what I want you to do for homework. I want you to think about a life where Sonny is no longer your husband. I want you to consider every aspect of it, physical, emotional, financial, everything."
"Alright," Will swallowed. "I can do that."
"Also," Lynn decided. "I want you to decide, once and for all, if you want anything to do with Paul. If you think you could one day get past what happened or not."
"I told you about that already," Will said. "I don't want to see Paul."
"Will," Lynn flatly responded. "If that was true you wouldn't have helped him out today."
Will, stunned, didn't respond.
"Now," Lynn changed the subject. "Have you given any thought about your diagnosis?"
"Yes," Will replied, swallowing.
"Have you made a decision about what you want to do?" Lynn asked.
"I-," Will sighed.
He didn't want to do this, not at all. He didn't want to be crazy. He didn't want anyone to know about this, ever.
'But the pamphlets said it would never go away,' Will recalled. 'Only that medicine would manage it.'
"I-I think I should try some medicine," Will mumbled. "Just, just not the scary ones first."
"What are the scary ones?" Lynn tilted her head.
"I want to start small and see if that helps," Will explained. "I don't want to take something I'll need for the rest of my life."
"Okay," Lynn nodded. "You do understand that we might have to experiment until we find a match, right?"
Will nodded. He read about that in the pamphlets he studied. That it might take time to find something that works for him.
"Alright," Lynn moved to her desk, drawing out her prescription pad. "I'm more concerned for your depression than for a risk of a hypomanic episode. I want to give you an antipsychotic. Don't panic at the name, please. You aren't experiencing any psychosis. Many of these drugs are taken for several different symptoms."
Will fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Now, if this doesn't affect you," Lynn warned. "We'll mix in some mood stabilizers."
An hour later, Will walked out of the hospital with a white prescription bag hidden under his shirt. He looked ridiculous, he knew. But he didn't want anyone finding out what type of medicine he was taking and especially why.
Sonny, holding Ari in one arm, pulled open the door to the pub. He hadn't been in the place in months, not since Will became involved at least.
"Wow," Sonny couldn't stop himself from saying out loud. "This place looks amazing."
Ari nodded, babbling excitedly.
"Daddy boss!" Ari shouted.
Sonny didn't know what to do now that he was inside. He knew he was taking a risk coming here but he had to try. He had to show Will how serious he was about him.
Gingerly, Sonny sat them down inside one of the free booths.
"Hey, Ari," Adam, the waiter, greeted with a grin. "Your daddy is in his office. You want me to order you a sandwich or the mac and cheese?"
Ari tapped her chin, "Cake!"
"Cake?" Adam laughed. "Your daddy would kill me if I did that. How about I surprise you?"
Sonny frowned at the teenager talking to his daughter.
'Who the hell is this?' Sonny thought.
"Oh, sorry," Adam finally acknowledged Sonny. "Can I get you something?"
"Some coffee," Sonny said quickly. "How do you know Ari?"
"Well, she's in here every day," Adam lifted one quizzical brow. "How do you know Ari?"
"Excuse me?" Sonny demanded, offended.
"Yes?" Adam wondered, getting lost. "I'm gonna go see what Will wants her to eat for lunch. I'll be back," Adam gave Sonny a strange look before leaving.
'What the hell was that?' Sonny thought, annoyed.
"Hey, boss," Adam knocked on Will's door. "Ari's here. What do you want me to order her?"
"Um," Will scratched the back of his neck while checking the time. "Can you get her the fruit salad and a few rolls?"
"Of course," Adam grinned brightly. He made to leave before turning back to face Will. "Some weird guy brought her in, Ari I mean."
"Weird guy?" Will frowned.
"I haven't seen him before," Adam shrugged. "He's got dark hair and looked kind of douchey."
It took Will a few moments to realize who Adam must be talking about.
"Oh," Will mumbled.
"Want me to get rid of him?" Adam stood up straighter, flexing slightly.
"No," Will decided. "I can do it."
Will stood in the doorway near the kitchen of the pub. He could see the back of Sonny's head. He was so close, closer than he had been in weeks.
'You can do this,' Will urged himself. 'You can.'
It must have been some sort of karmic justice that on the same day Will spent time with Paul, Sonny appeared. He didn't know what it was but the two seemed to have some sort of radar with Will. Once one came into his orbit the other had to as well.
Taking a few deep breaths, Will balled his hands into fists. He didn't want Sonny to see how visibly affected he was.
'Get it together,' Will ordered. 'Just go over there.'
'You could handle seeing Paul,' Will thought as he walked over, fingers shaking. 'You can handle this.'
Will slid into the booth across from Sonny, hoping he didn't look like he was going to vomit.
"Daddy!" Ari cheered.
"Hi, baby," Will smiled. At least Ari always put a smile on his face.
Ari sat on her knees in the booth, bouncing up and down.
Sonny stared at Will. He didn't even care if Will noticed or not. He hadn't seen his husband in weeks. Sonny wanted to drink him in.
'God, I miss him so much,' Sonny thought, eyes tracing along Will's face and eyes.
Sonny almost forgot how handsome Will was. Seeing Will again felt like the first time they met all over again.
'What's that phrase? Punch drunk,' Sonny thought. 'That's how I felt the first time I saw him. It's what it feels like now.'
"Will," Sonny breathed. "Hi."
Will took a few seconds to center himself before looking at Sonny's face. He nearly sighed in relief. Same Sonny, same face, same eyes.
"Hi," Will parroted back.
"I, uh," Sonny laughed nervously. "I know that I'm not the one who usually brings Ari back but I miss you. It's been so long, Will."
"I know," Will replied woodenly.
Now that he was face to face with Sonny, Will didn't know what to do, what to say. All the pain and insecurity Will was working on came rushing back. Just looking at Sonny made Will feel smaller than he knew he was.
Sonny could see how uncomfortable he made Will. It made his chest ache to know he did that to Will even now.
Recalling the picture his mother sent him, Sonny couldn't help but wonder how much of that he caused.
'How many of his fears did I feed?' Sonny wondered. 'How did I never see what he was going through?'
"I just," Sonny licked his lips. "I wanted to see you, that's all. I can leave now."
'I can't do this to Will, not now,' Sonny thought.
"No," Ari held tightly to Sonny's shirt when he moved to stand up.
"Uh," Sonny looked at Will, desperate. "I need to go, sweetie."
"No, stay," Ari demanded, lower lip wobbling.
"You can stay," Will said, keeping his eyes on Ari, never Sonny. "I need to do some work anyway. Her food will be here soon."
"No!" Ari screamed when Will stood up.
"What?" Will sat again, terrified something was wrong with her. "What's wrong?"
"Daddy no go," Ari pleaded. "Daddies stay with Ari."
"Uh," Will closed his eyes. "Alright, whatever you want, baby."
Sonny pressed his hand against the back of Ari's head.
'Good girl,' Sonny thought. 'Thank you, Ari.'
Even if the situation was tense, even if Will would barely look at him, at least Sonny was in Will's vicinity.
"Here are the coffee and the fruit salad," Adam announced, setting everything on the table. He immediately picked up on tension. "Anything else I can get you?"
"No," Will glanced at Adam with a half-smile.
"Did you eat?" Adam worried, narrowing his eyes at Will.
"No, not yet," Will answered.
"I'll get you something," Adam insisted before turning away.
"Who is that?" Sonny asked as soon as the kid was gone.
"New waiter," Will said. "He's nice."
Sonny refrained from snorting. He saw the way the kid looked at Will. Sonny had no idea how he never noticed things like that before.
'Why did I never notice anyone hitting on Will? I'm sure it happened. Why didn't I ever notice?' Sonny thought. 'How could I be so deluded to think that Will could only ever want me?'
Will reached over the tabletop to push Ari's fruit closer to her.
Wanting to keep the conversation going, Sonny noted, "It looks good in here. The pub, I mean, I like the changes."
"Thank you," Will responded. "I've lucked out."
"What does that mean?" Sonny furrowed his brows.
"Just that I've been able to do what I needed to, to get everything the way I wanted it," Will shrugged. He was doing his best to not look at Sonny.
As Sonny looked around he wondered how exactly the pub was able to afford all the new changes.
"How did Kayla pay for all this?" Sonny gently asked. He was curious. He hoped he didn't sound accusatory.
"She didn't," Will replied.
Realizing how curt he sounded, Will elaborated.
"I found an investor," Will mumbled. He wasn't sure if he should tell Sonny who invested or not.
"Huh," Sonny nodded approvingly. "Looks like they let you make a lot of changes. What type of investment was it?"
"Uh," Will blinked a few times. "I don't know."
"Well, how did it happen?" Sonny pressed.
"He told me he wanted to invest and Aiden looked at the contract," Will replied.
"Someone offered to invest?" Sonny frowned. "Did you approach them?"
"No, not really," Will answered, getting nervous.
"Did they do any research or any planning?" Sonny didn't think this sounded too legitimate. He didn't want Will getting into any bad business deal.
"They talked to their financial adviser," Will supplied. "I talked with Kayla."
"Okay," Sonny wiped against Ari's mouth. "And Aiden made sure everything was alright?"
"He said so," Will shrugged. "Everything's been working out so far. I think I'm doing a good job. It's only my first month but at least we're making a bit of a profit."
"What do you mean it's only your first month? You've been helping out since you got back," Sonny frowned.
"Oh," Will sat up straighter. He didn't realize he never told Sonny what happened, the gift his great-grandma and aunt gave him.
'There's so much Sonny doesn't know,' Will realized.
"Well," Will fiddled with his hands. "A few weeks ago Grandma Caroline sort of gave me the pub."
"Gave you the pub?" Sonny repeated.
"Yeah," Will nodded.
Sonny pursed his lips, trying to wrap his head around what he just heard.
"Your grandma gave you a business?" Sonny asked. "Even though you have zero experience?"
"Yes," Will narrowed his eyes. "Is there a problem with that?"
"No," Sonny realized how bad he sounded. That he was doing his condescending act again. "I'm just surprised that's all. You, um," Sonny hoped this didn't sound too bad. "You never talked to me about any of this, is all."
"You told me you didn't care about the pub," Will defended. "You said it was stupid. I wasn't going to tell you about something you didn't want to know."
"If it was about you I wanted to know," Sonny responded feeling guilty.
'Did I tell him I didn't care about the pub?' Sonny couldn't remember. 'How could I talk to him that way?'
"I couldn't tell you about it anyway," Will crossed his arms. "I wasn't allowed to talk about it."
"Talk about what?" Sonny asked.
Will opened and closed his mouth. He said too much. He didn't want to tell Sonny about Paul.
"You weren't allowed to talk about it," Sonny said, trying to work that out. "Why weren't you allowed to-oh. Oh," it hit Sonny. With a grimace, Sonny barred his teeth. "Paul."
"Yeah," Will swallowed and looked at the tabletop again. "I, um, we would talk a lot here. He found out about the problems the pub was having and offered to help."
'I bet he did,' Sonny rolled his eyes. 'We all know why he wanted to help.'
Will messed with his fingertips. He knew he should have told his husband about Paul investing. A good husband would have, at least.
'But he said he didn't want to know about the pub,' Will argued. 'Anytime I mentioned the pub he would get mad. If I told him there was an investor he'd ask questions. I couldn't tell him who Paul was at the time. I'd have to tell him how I knew Paul and that was out of the question.'
Yet, Will knew that was wrong. If the situation was reversed Will would have been furious and hurt.
'I was developing a crush on Paul and I never told Sonny until it was too late. Sonny was mean, yes. He made me feel bad about myself but he's my husband. I should have told him. He deserved to know what was happening in my life.'
"Is he still helping you?" Sonny asked suddenly, voice firm.
"What?" Will hadn't been paying attention.
"Is Paul still giving you money?" Sonny reiterated.
"Um," Will bit his lower lip.
Sonny's eyebrows jumped high on his forehead.
"After what he did you're still-," Sonny cut himself off.
Sonny was angry, yes. But also hurt. He had been spending these weeks consoling himself over the fact that Paul was no where near his husband.
"I don't talk to him," Will insisted. "I email him updates and the money deposits directly. I haven't seen him since-," Will stopped.
"Since when?" Sonny questioned.
Will didn't appreciate Sonny's tone. He didn't want Sonny thinking he dictated his life. A part of him felt guilty though.
'That's ridiculous,' Will thought. 'I have no reason to feel guilty. It doesn't matter if I interact with Paul.'
"I saw him yesterday and today," Will admitted. "We were both at the rec center."
"Did you talk to him?" Sonny couldn't stop from asking.
"I-," Will sighed. "Technically, yes."
Sonny's face fell.
"Oh," Sonny mumbled.
'Will can talk to Paul but he won't talk to me,' Sonny realized. 'What does that say?'
Will didn't know what to say. He didn't think he did anything wrong. It's not like he sought Paul out.
'I don't owe it to Sonny to tell him when I see Paul,' Will decided. 'We were surrounded by other people or kids the whole time anyway.'
For the first time in a long time Sonny worried that he couldn't do this. That all his plans would fall apart. That all the effort Sonny put into this was for nothing. Sonny never considered that Will wouldn't take him back, eventually. Realistically he knew it was a possibility but he was so confident he would succeed.
'I know what I have to do. I know what Will wants. I can give that to him. I can give him everything. I know I can,' Sonny thought. 'But what if that isn't what Will wants?'
"Will," Sonny said, desperate and nearing heartbreak. "Do you-?"
"Here you go," Adam brandished a BLT, interrupting the conversation. "I hope this was okay. I didn't know what to pick and, um, I hope you like it."
Adam flashed Will a hopeful, nervous smile.
"It's great," Will assured him. "Thank you."
"Okay, good," Adam visibly sighed in relief.
"I'm sorry," Sonny interjected, face pinched. "But we're in the middle of something here."
"Uh, sorry," Adam looked at Sonny distastefully. "I was just trying to-,"
"Yeah, I know what you were trying to do," Sonny rolled his eyes. "Now, can you kindly let me talk to my husband?"
"Husband?" Adam wanted to laugh. "If you're married to Will how come I haven't seen you in here before? Or ever heard anyone mention you?"
Sonny sat up straighter, lips pursed.
"Uh, Adam," Will said with a strained smile. "Can you go check on your tables, please?"
"Sure," Adam replied, side-eyeing Sonny.
"You have got to be kidding me with that kid, Will," Sonny ranted as soon as Adam left.
"He's one of my best workers," Will defended.
"Uh huh, sure," Sonny argued.
Sonny wanted to get back to their conversation about Paul but stopped himself.
'I can't ask him that,' Sonny realized. 'It'll make it seem like I'm prying or I don't trust him or-or something. No,' Sonny decided. 'Just, just keep on with my plan and everything will work out for itself.'
"If you're at the pub so often," Sonny realized something. "When do you have time to write?"
"I don't," Will stated. "I quit."
"Quit?" Sonny's eyes widened. "But you love writing. Why would you quit?"
"My writing does nothing but destroy lives," Will answered. "I'm not going to do it anymore."
"Done!" Ari shouted, throwing her fork on the table.
"Wow," Sonny praised despite wanting to get back to his conversation with Will. "You ate all your fruit. Good job," Sonny held out his hand for a high-five.
Ari smacked Sonny's hand with a loud sound.
Will watched on as Sonny carefully and skillfully wiped Ari's hands and face clean. Will's heart clenched seeing it. Sonny and Arianna together would always pull at his heartstrings.
Once Ari was clean, Sonny realized he couldn't stay for much longer. Not if he wanted to keep up with his appointment. It was so hard though. Sonny didn't know when he'd get this opportunity again. When he'd get to look at his husband in the flesh.
Will didn't say anything. He didn't want to spend any more time with Sonny than he had to. But he couldn't be the reason Ari didn't get any family time.
'I refuse to let her childhood be like mine. She won't be pulled between Sonny and I. She won't,' Will vowed. 'I can handle a few uncomfortable minutes if it makes her happy.'
Will reached across the table again to smooth down some loose strands from Ari's ponytail. Sonny eagerly watched, admiring the stretched muscle in Will's forearm.
So lost in his admiration, it took Sonny a few moments to realize something was missing.
"Where's your ring?" Sonny questioned loudly, horrified.
Will pulled his hand away from Ari, hiding it under the table.
"I took it off," Will answered, eyes on the table.
"Wh-," Sonny sputtered. "Why?"
"Because," Will mumbled.
Will didn't want to get into this now, here. He especially didn't want Ari overhearing.
Sonny blinked several times, face pained.
"This isn't happening," Sonny murmured under his breath. "No."
Will crossed his arms, holding his stomach tightly. He hated seeing Sonny in pain, always had. But he didn't know what to say.
Watching Sonny fall apart made Will uncomfortable and strangely angry. Sonny wasn't the one whose heart was ripped open. Sonny's entire existence didn't unravel, wasn't thrown aside for a weekend of sex.
Sonny shouldn't be angry, Will should.
"Stop it," Will barked, eyes shooting around the pub. He didn't need anyone dangerous overhearing them.
Sonny almost followed Will's directions. At the last second, he decided not to. He followed what Will wanted for weeks. He kept his distance. He saw Ari during the hours Will permitted. Sonny didn't complain.
'And it's not working,' Sonny thought. 'Will isn't healing. He's drifting farther away from me. We're never going to make any progress unless we actually talk.'
"Why did you take your ring off?" Sonny demanded. "Please, just tell me. If this is, if you're thinking about, if you don't-I just, I need to know why."
"When did you get my ring?" Will countered.
"What?" Sonny frowned at the sudden turn in the conversation.
"When did you get my ring? Weeks before you asked me to marry you? Months? Years?" Will goaded.
"I don't understand," Sonny admitted. "Why would I have it for years?"
"Because," Will stridently replied. He fretfully looked around, afraid someone overheard. "Because nothing in our relationship belonged to me. I couldn't wear it knowing it wasn't mine."
"Of course it was yours," Sonny shook his head. "I don't get what you're saying. Who else would-wait."
It hit Sonny. The accusing look in Will's eyes, the reality of it all.
'Will thinks I gave him a ring meant for someone else, meant for Paul,' Sonny realized.
"It wasn't Paul's," Sonny stated, jaw set.
"…I don't believe you," Will confessed.
"It wasn't," Sonny repeated, indignant. "It's only ever been yours."
"How am I supposed to believe that?" Will challenged. "Everything you've ever told me has been a lie."
"Will," Sonny denied. "That isn't, that isn't true. I know I lied about some things but it wasn't like that. I never meant to hurt you."
"No," Will huffed. "You just promised me the world and snatched it away the first opportunity you got."
"No, I didn't," Sonny maintained. "I didn't just jump into Paul's bed. I told him no," Sonny argued. "Even after seeing him the first time, after he kissed me."
"Kissed you?" Will repeated, face reddening. "When did he kiss you?"
"When we first saw each other again," Sonny admitted, shamefaced. "In the hospital, he kissed me."
"Oh," Will didn't know how to feel. He realized he didn't know anything about what happened, not really. Will didn't even know Sonny saw Paul in the hospital.
"I was dropping stuff off and I saw Paul and he kissed me," Sonny stated.
"Then what happened?" Will questioned in a quiet, reserved tone.
"I told him I was married," Sonny explained. "That he couldn't do something like that."
"How long after that did you hop in his bed?" Will wondered.
"That wasn't an easy decision for me," Sonny argued.
"And that isn't an answer," Will pointed out.
Raucous laughter sounded from the entrance. A group of Adam's friends walked through the door, ready to harass their friend and enjoy the discounted student prices.
The loud noise startled Will, causing him to focus.
"I'm not getting into this with you here," Will decided.
"Then where? When? You won't talk to me," Sonny threw his hands up. "This is the first time I've seen you in ages and we aren't anywhere closer to figuring things out."
"I'm not ready to figure anything out," Will maintained.
"How are you going to be ready if you won't talk to me?" Sonny shook his head. "I'm trying. I'm trying to fix my mistakes. I'm doing everything I can. And it feels like you don't care at all."
"I do care," Will sighed. "I just, I don't know anything, Sonny. I don't know. I don't know how I feel. I don't know what you did. I don't know anything."
"And you never will unless you talk to me," Sonny did his best to stay calm.
"Well, I can't do that yet," Will glared.
Sonny wanted to argue. He wanted to cause a scene, force Will into this, goad him into the conversation they needed to have. But he couldn't. He couldn't do it here, couldn't rush Will into anything.
'This is it,' Sonny thought. 'One of my biggest problems. I can't make Will do something I want if he doesn't. If I want him back, I have to do it on his terms. No matter how long it takes, no matter how painful it is. He's worth it.'
Sonny looked at his watch. The one Will left for him when he moved out of their studio when they broke up after Gabi's wedding. He was going to be late for his appointment if he didn't hurry.
"I did not buy that ring for Paul," Sonny insisted. "I bought it for you, only you. I bought it because I wanted to marry you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life by your side. That's what I still want, Will. It doesn't matter how far you push me or how long it takes, you're all I want."
Sonny put his arm around Ari, holding her close. Ari was innocently coloring, oblivious to the tension surrounding her fathers.
"I need to get going, Ari," Sonny said even though he was looking at Will. "Daddy has a few things he needs to take care of but I love you."
Will held Sonny's gaze, understanding. He still didn't know if he believed Sonny, not yet.
Knock Knock
"Guess who?" Chad quipped as he rapt on the door to Will's office.
"Hi," Will barely glanced at Chad, eyes on his work.
"Hmm," Chad narrowed his eyes. He patted Ari on the head as he passed her. "What's with you, gloomy Gus?"
Will gave up the pretense that he was working and tossed his pen on the desk.
"Sonny dropped Ari off," Will told Chad, nibbling on his lower lip.
"Oh, damn," Chad sat down. "What happened?"
"It, well, I don't think it went the way he wanted it to," Will replied.
"I'm sure it didn't," Chad commented. "How you feeling?"
"I don't know," Will scratched as his elbow. "Angry, upset, hurt."
"Why angry?" Chad wondered, eyes zeroing in on Will's ring-less left hand.
"Because he thinks enough time has passed and I don't," Will crossed his arms. "I'm not ready to talk to him. But there's-," Will sighed. "I don't know anything about him. I don't know what happened with Paul. I don't know anything."
"Okay," Chad knew better than to argue. Over the past few weeks Will and Sonny had separated, Chad slowly made his way back into Will's life. It took a lot of work. Will wasn't keen on letting Chad get too close, certain he was only going to spy and report back to Sonny.
It took a long time for Chad to convince Will he actually cared about Will as a person. Just like it took a while for Chad to realize at times like this Will only needed someone to be a sounding board. Will didn't need someone lecturing him or telling him what to do. Will needed to come to his own conclusions.
"Well," Chad said. "You won't ever know unless you ask. Are you afraid of the answer you might get?"
"Yes," Will admitted. "I-I already know everything with Sonny was a lie. Will knowing the details make it any better?"
Chad made to argue before stopping himself.
"Is that why you took your ring off?" Chad nodded towards Will's hand.
"I took it off because I think Sonny wanted it to be Paul's," Will confessed.
"How do you figure that?" Chad tilted his head.
"Because Sonny wanted everything else to be Paul's," Will shrugged.
"Did Sonny even get a ring for Paul?" Chad frowned.
"I…I don't know," Will said. "I don't know anything."
"Didn't you have a therapy session today?" Chad recalled.
"Yeah," Will nodded. "She wants me to really think about leaving Sonny, decide if I can do it. And to figure out what to do about Paul."
"What to do about Paul?" Chad looked at Will strangely. "I thought you already decided that."
"Me too," Will leaned back in his desk chair. "But I guess not."
Adam pocketed his tip and cleared off the table, humming as he went. Waiting tables wasn't his dream job by any means but it worked so well with his school schedule.
'And Will's here,' Adam smiled to himself.
Will might have been a big deciding factor in Adam wanting the job. That night at The Spot was eye-opening for Adam. He couldn't believe his luck dancing with that hot, shirtless blonde. Finding out he was going to work for the guy made things even better.
'Will doesn't seem to remember me,' Adam thought. 'But that's okay. He'll laugh one day when he remembers. I know he is.'
From the rumors, Adam knew something happened between Will and Paul. He had never seen them talk to each other though. If they were that close Adam figured they would spend more time together here.
'I don't know what's happening with that weirdo husband either,' Adam frowned momentarily. 'But whatever.'
Adam knew he was young. His friends thought he was insane for entertaining the notion Will might want to be with him. But Adam couldn't help it. He was completely smitten.
A small, dark-haired woman walked up to Adam.
"Hello, welcome to the Brady Pub," Adam greeted. "You can sit wherever you want."
"Actually?" the woman asked with a hint of an accent. "Can you direct me to the apartment upstairs?"
"Uh," Adam responded, not sure if he should tell the woman or not. He didn't know if she was someone Paul wanted to see or not. The pub had a strict policy about Paul's privacy. "Can I ask why?"
"I need to see Paul," the woman declared. "He's my son."
Author's note:
Thanks for reading! Things in the story will start to pick up soon, I promise.