Loki lay in Tony's bed, fighting to control the harsh sobs that made his throat hurt. He hated crying, dreaded having Tony, or, worse, Thor, walk in and see him in such a contemptible state, but it was useless; the sobs came anyway. He finally gave up and let the tears fall, let them wash out all the muck and debris left behind by the fear and pain he'd recently endured.

Eventually, he was left drawing in shaky breaths, feeling weak and uncentered. He tried to think, to pull himself together, but too many thoughts were pinging off one another in his tired mind. He couldn't form a single coherent thread that would stand up to logic.

And, Loki hated that, too.

One word kept swirling around in the mix: pregnant. A ridiculous word, a woman's word, one he'd certainly never thought of as having anything to do with him. Even in the days before he'd known his true nature, whenever he'd lain with a woman, he'd been careful to ward his seed from attachment. He didn't want to leave behind a part of himself unbidden, to suffer who knew what sort of fate.

Although, when he was a very young man, he'd had a vague notion of becoming a father someday. He'd even thought he might be a good one. He liked kids, liked their utter delight in the world, and he had a patient and understanding disposition toward them. He'd never admit it to himself, but the promise of a pure love, of being awarded unquestioning trust, of caring for someone without reserve, made his heart ache with longing.

But once he'd learned what he really was—frost giant—that sweet, modest hope was extinguished like a flame doused by a bucket of filthy bilge water.

He thought of the life starting within him and the tears began anew. Somewhere in Tony's abode was a photographic image of a little boy of no more than two or three years, with a halo of curly dark hair and a pair of the brightest brown eyes Loki had ever seen. Tony as a child, he thought fondly. He would be grateful to have a child such as that. But, no, his progeny would be nothing but demons, garbled amalgamations of monster and whatever weak, lesser being he'd chosen to copulate with. In this case, a human.

He wouldn't wish that on anybody.

He lay there limply, pondering how pleasant it would be to just fall asleep and never wake up. But, after a while, he managed to shake off the haze and look down at himself.

Oh, lovely.

Lying in a blood-soaked bed, sweaty, hair tangled, face lined with drying tears—he grimaced in disgust. "Stop this," he thought. "Stupid fool, wallowing in self-pity. And for what? You have no problem. The pain is gone. The bleeding's stopped, strength is returning. Mother will bring the potion, and once the... situation has been taken care of, my seidr will return to normal, and then I can do what I want. Nothing whatsoever to cry about; everything will be fine."

Thus encouraged, Loki carefully swung his legs over and sat up on the edge of the bed. His shirt was soaked through with sweat and the air chilled him, but it was bracing after the soporific effects of being covered up in bed, and that was good. He shakily stood up and after a rush of dizziness cleared, he felt well enough to venture off to the bathroom to take a shower.

He let the water flow over him, filling the bath chamber with its good heat and steam. He soaped up and concentrated on washing, pushing confusing thoughts aside and staying focused. When he was clean and refreshed, he stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself, and then dried his hair.

He went to find the clothes Tony had bought for him, but looking at them, he frowned. His stomach already felt swollen, although it was not visibly so. Probably just the idea of having a mongrel creature greedily expanding into the space inside his belly made him feel that way, but even so, he couldn't bear the thought of pulling on snug-fitting trousers.

He went to Tony's dresser and found the freshly washed Hello Kitty sleep pants he'd been given and put them on. He dug around and found one of Tony's precious band t-shirts; it featured an absurd, hairy quintet of wild-looking men on the front, and Loki grinned as he pulled it out of the drawer. Tony might not like him wearing it, but if he ended up being summarily dismissed from Tony's home, at least he'd have a memento of him to keep. Assuming he didn't have the presence of mind to demand it back on the spot.

He had just slipped it on when a knock came at the door. "Loki? Okay if I come in?" Tony asked.

"Yes?" Loki answered uncertainly. Gods. He wasn't ready to see Tony yet. He hadn't put words together to throw back in his face for when he laughed at him, hadn't come up with cruel insults to sear him with when he scorned and derided Loki for being argr...

And then a horrible thought came to him—what if Stark was kind and apologetic as he threw him out? How could Loki ever convince himself that he hated the man if he was kind? How could he—

His fretting was cut short when Tony opened the door and stepped inside. He looked first at Loki, but his eye was caught by the polyester fiber coving much of room's surfaces, and he gave a low whistle as he took it in. "Wow. Nice job. But... what did that chair ever do to you?"

Loki glanced behind him and acknowledged the mess with a nod. "Yes. I'm sorry about that, it was an accident. Bit of seidr gone wrong, like with the toaster."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "The toaster?"

"Mm, yes, Thor and I... Never mind, I'll explain later. Don't worry, I'll make it right. How much is a grand?"

"Huh?"

"I intend to compensate you for all the damage, once my magic is back to normal. How much?"

"Oh. No, it's okay. Toasters don't cost much, and the chair... Well, it was just a chair. An insanely comfortable chair, but...

"I promise I'll make it up to you." Loki folded his arms and dropped his gaze to the floor, and Tony approached him slowly, glad to see he was apparently feeling better. They stood within a few feet of each other, not speaking, and then Loki slowly looked up. "So?"

"So... what?"

Loki rolled his eyes, unable to bear the tension a moment longer. "So, why are you here, Stark?" When Tony didn't answer immediately, Loki's eyes narrowed and he spoke in a sardonic tone. "Ah. Come to have a bit of fun at my expense? I'm sure the situation is about as hilarious as they come here on Midgard. How nice it must be to see my arrogance so fittingly rewarded. Well, go ahead—tell me what you think of me now. I'm not a man, obviously. But, not a woman either, so, what—a freak? What's that you always call me—space alien? Very apt. Or maybe now you can finally say it, eh? The real name you have for me?" Loki's eyes glittered as he hissed, "'Monster...'"

Loki's fists were balled up, every muscle taut. "How disagreeable it must be, having me here; a reminder of just how low you've sunk, lying with such a creature. Must be hard on the famous Stark ego, eh? We can't have that—you must want me out of here, don't you?" Loki advanced toward him, his lip curled in a caustic snarl and his voice dropped to a low, silky tone. "Oh, you do. You do, don't you? Don't you?"

Tony hadn't even attempted to come up with a script for what he wanted to say to Loki. He'd sort of envisioned coming into the room, wrapping Loki in his arms, dealing with a bit of sobbing and listening to some fluttery "Whatever shall I do?" types of comments, and then having the manly, comforting, in-control words magically flow out of him, like they always did when he was in a jam.

Now, faced with this emerald-eyed demon that looked like he was about to eviscerate him, he couldn't come up with anything. He really wanted to stop the torrent of bitterness that Loki was spewing out at him, but nada, nothing, not one word came to mind.

So, he just stood there blinking.

And, unfortunately, Loki took his silence as agreement. "Ha! I knew it!" he said with an insane chortle. "Why don't you come right out and say it? Say it, Stark. I want you to. Tell me to get out. Tell me now, you cowardly mortal buffoon, I want to hear the words so I can treasure them, soothe myself with them as I fall asleep at night, cherish this proof of my weakness, my idiocy in trusting you, in trusting anyone—" He raised a fist and lunged at Tony.

Somewhere in the back of Tony's mind came the thought, "Get the suit, dumb-ass," but he didn't pay attention. He just leaned in, blocked Loki's punch and grabbed his arm, twisting it back as carefully as he could, given that Loki clearly intended to use it to dislocate his jaw prior to going the evisceration route, and then he managed to yank him off-balance from his still-wobbly legs. When Loki fell forward, Tony pulled him to him and hugged him, hugged the little fucker tight, hugged the living shit out of him, plastering himself to the lithe body so firmly that Loki was basically stunned.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked, sounding in equal parts frustrated and bewildered.

"I'm hugging you, you dick-head. It's what people do when someone they love is upset. Even if that someone is in that uber-annoying, about-to-murder-his-boyfriend frame of mind."

Loki felt most of the fight shudder out of him and he curled himself into Tony, clinging to him as he buried his face in the crook of Tony's neck. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he whispered.

Tony held him, murmuring gentle words like "It's okay," and "I've got you," and "You're not going anywhere," and "Sh-sh-sh, don't you even fucking think about leaving me," until they were rocking back and forth together in a comforting rhythm.

Once Loki's violent energy had stilled, Tony pulled back and took his face in his hands. "Okay, are we good?"

Loki nodded.

"Not gonna zap me into the next county or explode me like the seat cushions?"

Loki shook his head.

"All right. Then, how about you listen to what I have to say without trying to put words in my mouth, hm?"

Again, Loki nodded.

"Okay. First of all, I want to thank you for proving once again what an asshole you think I am."

"What?"

"You really think that this..." Tony gestured at Loki's stomach. "...makes me want to get rid of you?"

"Well, why wouldn't it?" Loki asked sulkily. "I'm a freak."

"No, you're not. You are what you are, and that's just different from what either of us is used to. So, we have to get used to it. And, we will. It's like learning a foreign language, or being allergic to peanuts—we just have to think about things in a different way. Like, for example, in the future, when we fuck? We use condoms. Which are cheap, and easy to find, I mean, they sell 'em at Walgreens. So, no biggie."

Loki looked at him balefully.

"And, two, your mom explained everything to me. She told me you don't want to have the kid, and she told me why. Which is fine. Your body, your decision, but... do you even give one tiny little fuck what I think?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, okay, then."

Loki suddenly took a great interest in the examining the floor, and Tony watched him struggle not to sneak a look at Tony's face. But, he finally did, and their eyes met, and after stubbornly holding each other's gaze in dour expressions of dead seriousness, Loki cracked. A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and then they both burst out laughing. Loki put himself back in Tony's arms and they just held each other for a long, long time. Then, Loki pulled back and sighed.

"I do care what you think. Tell me."

"I'm glad you asked, I was about to burst. For your information, I think we could work things out. We could go somewhere. Leave the U.S., live in, I don't know, Russia or Alaska, someplace cold—"

"Alaska's in the U.S."

"What, you been studying for your citizenship test? Anyway, I'm a fucking billionaire, I can make things happen." He pushed a strand of hair away from Loki's face. "We'd figure it out. The kid would have a good life—I promise."

Loki closed his eyes and tiredly drew in a breath. "I find that hard to imagine. But, it doesn't matter. I don't want it. I'm not interested in being a parent. Or... in a full-time relationship, if that's what you're suggesting."

Tony felt a bit like Loki'd managed to punch him in the face anyway. But, okay. So he'd been way off-base about where this thing between them had been going. Fine. Re-calibrate...

"So, what do you want?"

Loki bit his lip and gave a hesitant shrug. "I enjoyed helping Thor with Trondheim, in spite of the fact that things went somewhat awry. When he becomes king, he'll need a lot more of that kind of intervention in the various realms. I can do that, I can be useful. And, as you know very well, that sort of work can be dangerous." He pursed his lips a moment. "If I'm to do a good job, I can't be burdened with worrying over a child. Or, anyone else for that matter."

Tony nodded. "Oh, I see. So, you'll go off galavanting through the universe, and just pop in here for a little roll in the hay once in a while, is that it?"

"I thought it might be, yes. Since condoms are so inexpensive and plentiful."

Tony chuckled, eyes flashing darkly. "I don't think so, gorgeous. I mean, I understand wanting to do good work. I even understand wanting to do dangerous work..." He tapped the arc reactor on his chest. "But, I can't do casual with you." He pulled Loki down for a deep kiss. "Let me make something crystal clear. I want you in my life all the time. I'll never tell you not to go, or even pull a guilt trip on you when you do. But, I want to know when and where you're going, and I want to know that you intend to come back to me as quickly as possible, even if it's going to be a while. I want to know that... your home is here, or wherever we decide to live. And I want to know that you love me. If you do." He stared into Loki's eyes. "Do you?"

Loki felt something surge in his chest, and he smiled. "Yes, you stupid man. Yes, I love you. But—"

"Hey, hey, hey, there're a million 'but's,' and I promise, we'll work through every one of them. But, let me have this for a second—you just said you loved me. And, I love you. That's pretty uncomplicated, isn't it?"

"I suppose."

Tony noticed that Loki's lower lip was trembling. "You gonna cry?" he asked teasingly.

"I'm highly hormonal, so there's a strong possibility."

"Good. Because, I hate doing stuff like that by myself." He made a show of sniffing and wiping away invisible tears.

That made Loki laugh, and they embraced again. Then Loki stepped back and squared his shoulders, his jaw tight. "And, you really believe you'll continue to feel this way even after the pregnancy is... terminated. You won't look at me with hatred, won't be sickened by me, by what I chose to do?"

Tony ran a hand down Loki's face. "I'll be sad."

Loki's expression softened. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I told you how I feel, but I respect your decision. And, I'll be here every step of the way. We'll get through it together. I-I just want us to be together."

Together... A beautiful word, a perfect word, one Loki had long thought would never again have anything to do with him. He nodded, feeling the heaviness in his chest fizzle away. "All right. Once my seidr is back to normal, I'll offer my assistance to my brother. But... This is my vow: I'll come home to you, Tony. I'll return to you every time, as long as you want me. This I promise." He raised an eyebrow mischievously. "I'll leave it to you to figure out the numerous 'but's' that come to mind."

Tony wanted to say something, but again he couldn't put words together, for a very different reason. This time, when he swiped at a tear, it was for real.

Meanwhile, at a hidden land base known as S.H.I.E.L.D. Central, located somewhere underground in New York City, a low level young agent sat in front of a video monitor that looked similar to a radar detection device. He'd already had one blip that morning, and now, a few hours later, there was another. He hastily sent a text.

Almost instantly, Agent Phil Coulson appeared beside him. "What do you have?" he asked softly.

"Another one, and this one's even stronger," the young man replied.

"Were you able to establish coordinates this time?" Coulson asked.

"I think so... Yes. Let me just put this into a GPS program, and—oh."

"What is is?"

"It appears to be coming from Stark Tower, sir."

I knew it, Coulson thought.

Three blips in under three days. It had to be...

Loki.

Coulson smiled as he pressed the "talk" button on his comm device.

"Yes, sir?" a female voice responded.

"Have the team report to the helipad, Agent Hill. Code Green Eyes, repeat, Code Green Eyes."

"On it, sir."

A short time later, a chopper was on its way to Stark Tower.

A/N: Just FYI, I'm going to have surgery tomorrow (nothing life-threatening) so I don't know when I'll be up to working on the next chapter.

Thank you to all for reading, and reviews are much loved!

Seds