Chapter 7; Normality

Jo was laughing and smiling again. The rosyness had returned to her cheeks. The scars and many wounds she had were healing; both mental and physical. She was finally back to putting on weight. Dean was having the time of his life now that he was back home. He made sure to look after Jo and Ellen, and he would do little chores- almost as if he was trying to make a good impression. He had opened up a joint bank account for him and Jo and it had come to the time where he could finally put money in so that they could work on building the foundations to their future.

"Hey, what'd ya say about getting' married soon?" Dean asked Jo, leaning against the kitchen counter as she poured a bowl of cereal. She instantly stopped in her tracks, put the box down and turned around. She had the widest grin on her face, eyes full of hope and excitement like a child on Christmas day. "Really? Wait- do we even have the money for that?" She asked, the excitement beginning to dull back down as she realised that they might not even be able to have a wedding. What if it was just a small thing where they just signed the marriage certificates? And it was nothing like what she had dreamt about?
"Well; we have the money for that. I have the money to pay for it. The only problem is... it sets us back for the future." He told her, kicking at the ground. Maybe he shouldn't of mentioned it. He already knew that this wouldn't end well for them, and that they'd find something to argue about. He wanted to be able to give her a dream wedding, but he didn't know if he'd be able to do that with the money he got from being out there for a couple months. He didn't want a shabby wedding that pretty much meant nothing to any of them.

"Our future is more important. I don't know if I can just deal with signing a certificate. Or if Mom could deal with that. She wants it to be special..." She told him as she walked away to sit at the counter island.

Hearing that already provoked some form of a reaction from Dean. He sucked in air through gritted teeth, clenching his jaw and looking away. "So.. just being married isn't enough? It has to be some special, expensive, extravagant shit that will only be used for a couple of hours?" He asked, his tone more blunt and rude than ever before. He saw Jo flinch, and he felt a twinge of guilt run through him, but the anger he felt overruled that guilt.
He saw the way Jo let out a heavy sigh, and shovelled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. She swallowed and looked up at him, glaring somewhat. "You know being married is important. But you can't say to me that you've never wanted a wedding- a special wedding. It's more than just extravagant shit Dean. You can't say that. I know that's not what you think. You've never thought about it like that before, so why now, huh? Why now?" She asked, her voice slowly graduating in volume.
"Because we can't afford it, for fuck's sake! Why can't you be happy with the basics?"
"I can be happy with the goddamn basics! You know full well I can! I was happy until you started talking about this shit." She muttered.
"If you were so happy, why did you try to kill yourself?" He bellowed. Before he could stop himself, the words were out, and he couldn't stop himself. His jaw clenched heavy, and he wished that he hadn't said a thing now, and that he could just erase this all and pretend that this didn't happen.

Jo dropped the spoon in the bowl, and she just froze. Her heart stopped for a second. Before she stopped herself from doing anything crazy, she took a breath to compose herself.

"Get out."
"Excuse me?"
"I said... Get out. Get out, Dean. I don't want to see you." She demanded, her voice low and calm, which was the most terrifying thing that Jo was capable of. The couple had never really argued that much, but when they did, it was toxic and very dangerous. Dean couldn't deny the fact that he was terrified of her whenever they argued. Who knew what she was capable of. She definitely got her stern behaviour from her mother. That was a given.

"Get the fuck out!" She screamed, her hands hitting the cold island counter repeatedly as she waited for him to leave. The more she saw him, the more she had to hold herself back from slapping him. Dean held his hands up in surrender, and he just turned in silence, and went out of the front door.

Twenty four hours went by, and he had still not returned. He didn't even message her with an apology. Was he expecting her to do it? There was no way in hell that Jo was even near ready to apologise to him. He started it, really. Maybe she was being childish about the whole thing... But she decided that the best thing to do was to just leave it and let him come back to her in his own time...

If he was ever going to.

Jo waited up all night for his return, but yet- he never came back. She didn't know what to do. She sobbed all night, feeling like it was returning back to what it was when Dean left. She shouldn't of said the things she did, but he didn't say the best things either. They were both hurt, and Jo just prayed that he'd come back to her, and that he wouldn't just leave her without saying.

Maybe he was preparing her for what was yet to come. As of yet, she wasn't actually aware of whether he was staying or going any time soon. She just hoped that it wouldn't be soon, and that she had a lot of time left to spend with him.

Although, she knew she would never be that lucky.

After a long night spent sobbing, she finally managed to drift off to sleep, due the crying draining every ounce of energy she had left in her. She fell into a deep, dreamless sleep where she didn't need to think about anything. Halfway through the day, Dean had finally returned. And when he did, he had to confront Ellen about the whole situation, as Ellen was the unfortunate soul who had to listen to her constant crying and sobbing and pleas for him to come back that were shouted into the void of nothingness.

"What do you think you're doin' to that girl?" Ellen asked, her voice stern as she folded her arms and glared at him, jaw set.

Dean knew that he was in major trouble and just stood there and took the firing of words that he deserved. He knew that he had over-exaggerated on a major scale, and that he shouldn't of said the things he did to her. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair before dropping his arm and looking up at Ellen, trying to configure an answer that actually explained why he was doing that.
In all honesty, he didn't know why he did it.

"A lover's quarrel, Ellen. Ain't you ever seen one?" He asked, his voice way too bitter for her liking. She wanted to go over there and hit him, but she knew that wouldn't solve a thing, and she knew that Jo would hate her forever if she layed a hand on him. She didn't know why she'd be so angry about teaching him a lesson that he truly deserved.

"Yeah. Me and my husband had our fair share. Nothin' like that though. Jo was terrified. She honestly thought that you were gonna hurt her- and not just verbally." She told him, wondering what reaction that would get out of him. Hearing it made Dean's heart lurch uncomfortably. He wouldn't ever do such a thing to her- she was so sweet and innocent; he could never possibly lay a hand on her. He loved her too much to do such a thing. He wasn't that type of man, and god help him if he ever turned into such a monster.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. The stress of the military made me lose it. I want to give her the best; really, I do. I want to give her a good wedding too, but right now, money is tight. And I want to be able to pay for it, so that we can say that the wedding was our first step in to the real world and that we are more than capable of paying for things instead of people donating the money that they can't afford to be coughing up, to us. We don't wanna do that- I don't wanna do that." He explained, hoping that Ellen understood. He didn't want to get on her bad side. Right now though, it seemed that he already was. He'd have to find a way to fix that.
"I'll never do it again. You have my word." He told her in the most sincere voice he could possibly manage.
She dismissed him and he walked away like a scolded child and made it upstairs to Jo's room where she slept peacefully. He looked at her and smiled softly. He could see that she had been crying and he felt so horrific for doing so. He brushed the golden locks from her face, and kissed her rounded cheek gently before getting into the bed and laying beside her, arms wrapping around her waist. He knew that she noticed there was a change, as she turned around and curled into his frame.
"Knew you'd come back..." She muttered in her sleep. He laughed quietly.
"I'll always come back to my best girl." He told her, watching how her lips turned into a dozy smile. She didn't reply, and just fell back into a peaceful sleep, reassured that everything was okay again.

He lay awake though. He was thinking about everything in his head, their argument swirling around in his mind. The words just repeating over and over.

"If you were so happy, why did you try to kill yourself?"

Why did she? Every time he saw her, she was always so bright and bubbly. He found it so hard to believe that she had the ability to be so upset, so broken. It was hard to believe, but he knew that it was true, and that it was almost like she stopped working as soon as he wasn't around any more. When he was there, everything was okay again, and she worked like clockwork. It was odd, and he wished there was some way to get into her mind and figure it all out...

"Get out. Get the fuck out!"

That was the first time he had ever seen her angry. It was a side of her that actually scared him. It was something he wished he hadn't seen, and that he shouldn't have provoked her so much to get such a reaction. He was really treading on thin ice now. Despite that, as soon as he came back, it was if she just forgot all about what had happened and that he was a Saint once again.
It confused the hell out of him, and that night he realised that his fiancee was the most complex person he'd ever met.