Mike's car was in the driveway when Alex got home. He turned on the couch to look at her when she came in, frowning when she closed the door behind her. She came home alone. "You changed your clothes," he noticed.

"It's too cold to take a walk in the dress I was wearing."

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Still walking," she answered.

He picked up the bourbon and coke from the table. "This isn't his."

She took it from his hand and took a drink. "No, it's mine."

Mike leaned back and took a drink from his beer. "So what happened?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"You came back alone. Something happened. You have another fight?"

"A small one. I talked to his doctor today. He has a treatment option he wants Bobby to try, but Bobby's being stubborn and won't consider it. He asked me to talk to him."

Mike patted the couch beside him. "Sit down, sweetheart."

She walked around the couch and sat beside him. "What happened this afternoon?" she asked.

"It was a rough one. The scene was chaotic and we probably lost some evidence. That pissed him off royally. One of the vics was just a kid, about ten-years-old. That hit him even harder. Put him into a nosedive he couldn't pull out of. That's why we stopped on the way home."

"Is he smoking again?"

Mike scowled. "No, not that I know."

"He smelled of cigarettes."

"That was from the bar. The owner allows smoking in his place. Bobby told you he quit, and he's trying hard to stick to it."

Alex looked toward the back door. "Mike, I think his drinking is getting out of control."

Mike shrugged, not sure he agreed. "I've seen him a lot worse. I've seen him do a lot worse. At least he comes home every night. Remember what Nicole did to him when you were pregnant with Maggie? He was out of control. Back then, most nights, he had no idea who he went home with. It was bad, trust me."

"It was also when his heart was healthy. After my divorce, when we first got together, he cut way back. Remember?"

"Yeah. I remember. He started easing up when Maggie was born...at least, he did when she was with him. That was the best thing you have ever done for him, Alex, letting him see Maggie whenever he wanted. He had no claim to her back then, and it always sat in the back of his mind that if he screwed up, you could take her away from him forever and there'd be nothing he could do about it. So he tried hard not to screw up."

"He never understood that I would never do that to him or to Maggie."

"On some level he did, but the way his life has always gone...he expected you to leave a long time ago. You have been the exception to every rule."

"I'm not the only exception."

"You're the most important one."

"He has Denise and you."

Mike shook his head. "I don't count. Besides, I'm not his type. Denise rejected him because she knew she could never make him happy, not while he was hung up on you. But you..."

"Me? I rejected him, too."

Mike shook his head. "You never told him no. When you married Ricky, you didn't know Bobby was an option. He was your partner and he wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. But he did fall, hard. You were willing to have him, even then. The only thing that interfered was his damn moral compass. He wanted you bad, but he wasn't going to be responsible for you breaking your word. Promises are important, and you always keep your word."

"I didn't know he was in love with me. He kept it from me! That's where we have our biggest problem, Mike."

He nodded agreement and understanding. Bobby was an expert at keeping things to himself, and it was frustrating for those who loved him. Unlike Alex, though, Mike understood him, too. "Alex...he's spent his entire life hiding—from his mother, from his superiors, from just about everyone. He's always felt he had to hide. The reason never mattered. It was always a fact of his life. You can't change a lifelong pattern of behavior overnight. And his first inclination, always, has been to protect you. It still is. He tries not to burden you with things that are inconsequential in his mind."

"Inconsequential? His health is not inconsequential!" She made a noise of frustration and ran her hands through her hair. "I don't know what to do with him. He doesn't have to hide anything from me and he doesn't have to protect me."

"He's trying to get past that, but it's hard for him." He paused. "How do you think he's been doing lately?"

"Lately as in..."

"I guess since his mother died. I thought he was doing really well before then."

"He was doing well back then. He was happy, wasn't he, Mike?"

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"And now...now he's not."

"I wouldn't go that far. He's still happy, but...have you noticed that he seems to be caught in a self-destructive spiral?"

"I've noticed. I hoped I was imagining it."

Mike finished off his beer and shook his head. "You're not. Back when you were married to Ricky, I understood what was going on with him, why he was self-destructing. But now? I have no idea. He's got a great life and he knows it, so whatever's going on with him, it's beyond his control. It seems to have gotten a lot worse since your dad died. He had a really hard time losing John. I know you did, too, but it was almost like Bobby took it personally."

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know. I mean, I do what I can and I know you do, too. Maybe he needs another wake-up call. If he thinks he's going to lose you, he'll straighten up his act."

She sighed heavily. "I don't want to do that to him again. He panics, and that's not good for him...or me, either."

"It's not good for any of us, but sometimes it takes a sledgehammer blow to get through to him."

"I'm not going to leave him, Mike."

"I never said you should. If anything I'd be doing my damnedest to convince you to stay if I thought you were even thinking about it. I just think that maybe he needs a little shaking up to pull him out of this tailspin he's in."

She finished her drink and set her glass back on the coffee table. "Maybe the counselor Liz Olivet recommended will do some good."

"I don't know how receptive he's gonna be to outside interference. He gets pissed at me sometimes, and I'm like a brother to him. But...who knows? He's unpredictable."

She smiled. "That's part of his charm."

He returned her smile and got up from the couch. "If you say so. I'm gonna hit the hay. Bobby should be back soon. He'll be sorry he lost his temper and want to make it up to you." He took her glass into the kitchen and dropped his bottle in the recycling container. He walked to the back door and looked out across the yard. It was raining heavily and the wind had picked up. "That storm sure blew in fast. Bobby's gonna be cold and wet. He's got a coat on, doesn't he?"

She joined him at the door. "He's wearing a jacket, but not a rain coat."

"Well, I'm sure you'll warm him up when he gets back." He kissed her cheek. "Good night, Alex."

"Good night...and thanks, Mike."

With a grin, he patted her shoulder and walked away. She watched the rain for a couple of minutes, then returned to the couch and turned on the television, determined not to worry.

Her determination didn't last long as the wind picked up, driving the cold rain against the house. As she debated going out to look for him, the front door opened, letting in a gust of icy cold wind, and closed. She stayed on the couch and she didn't turn around. She wanted him to be the first one to speak. After all, he was the one who took off.

Bobby was soaked to the skin and freezing cold. He hung up his wet jacket and looked at the back of her head for a minute before mounting the stairs and heading for the bedroom. He shivered as he stripped his clothes off in the dark and draped them over the hamper to drip dry. Then he went into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower to warm up.

Returning to the bedroom wearing just a towel, he saw the outline of a person seated on the bed, and he knew it wasn't Alex. He walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers.

"Did you have a nice walk?" Mike asked.

"Fuck off," Bobby growled.

"What did I do? I kept you from getting shitfaced so your wife wouldn't rip you a new one. What the hell is going on with you?"

"I'm going to bed, so unless you plan to sleep with me, move your ass."

Mike moved off the bed, but he didn't leave the room. Bobby pulled on his boxers and crawled into the bed. "You're not gonna talk to her?" Mike said.

"I've got nothing to say."

"What the hell...Bobby, I've always taken your side, always. But you're being a real ass right now and I know you're not wasted. So what's up?"

For a long time, Bobby didn't answer. Then he moved suddenly. "Maybe that's the problem," he snapped. "I'm not wasted."

He walked to his wet clothes and fished out the box Alex had given him. Mike watched him open the window and he saw the flare of the lighter flame in the dark. "That wasn't meant as an invitation to get wasted, dumbass. I told her you quit smoking," Mike said before the smoke reached him. He blinked a couple of times as he recognized the scent in the smoke. "You really have lost it this time. She's gonna kill you."

"She gave it to me."

"What?"

"My doctor thinks this will help with the nausea and appetite problems I've been having. I've lost too much weight, he says. It'll help me manage stress better, too. He's been pushing me, and he finally talked to Alex about it. She says if it helps, then she's all for it."

"And you're gonna push it. Why do you always have to push it? Why can't you just be a fucking reasonable person? What's wrong with that?"

"Have I ever been a reasonable person?"

"You didn't used to be an ass, not all the time, any way. What's going on with you, Bobby?"

It wasn't the first time Mike had asked that question. Bobby took a deep draw, held it and then released the smoke slowly. "What do you think is going to happen over the next few years?"

"Do I look like Nostradamus?"

"Maybe a little, around the eyes."

Caught off guard by his answer, Mike wasn't sure how to respond. Then Bobby laughed softly and Mike knew it was okay to approach him. "What's going on, Bobby?" he asked softly.

A voice from the door startled both of them. "Yeah, Bobby, what's going on?"

Alex joined them at the window. Mike had almost made progress, which was further than he'd gotten in more than a month of trying. Now Bobby was going to shut down in his wife's presence—he'd seen it happen every time. He let out a heavy breath of exasperation and waited for her to blow up at one or both of them.

But Alex surprised him. She reached out and lightly touched the back of Bobby's neck with two fingers. Gently, she caressed him and said, "Talk to us."

Us? Mike reeled under the shock. Normally, she lashed out at them. Something had changed, and he wondered just what that cardiologist had told her.

Bobby closed his eyes, enjoying the state she was easing him toward. She moved closer and he slipped his arm around her waist. She pressed her forehead against the side of his head and slid her fingers lightly down his back, along his spine. The cold that had penetrated deep into his body began to warm. "I don't know what to do," he confessed.

"About what?" she asked.

He laughed a little. "About my life."

"I don't understand."

"I know. Neither of you understand."

Mike leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. This wasn't going to be a quick conversation. "So enlighten us," he encouraged.

Bobby finished the joint and slid to the floor as well, tugging Alex's hand to join them. He slid his arm around her. She snuggled against him and settled her hand on his abdomen. She continued to caress his skin and he softly sighed. "Dr. Bergman hasn't told you everything. You're right, he's worried. This treatment option you've pushed me into isn't about getting me better. There is no getting better. It's about making me comfortable. You asked if I was going to be around to see Maggie graduate high school. I might not see Molly finish kindergarten."

Alex gasped softly. "Bobby..."

He silenced her with a soft kiss. Stunned, Mike said, "You weren't going to tell us, were you? That's why you've been such an ass to everyone. You're trying to push us away, so maybe it'll be a little bit easier to let you go. You've given up." He hit the floor with a closed fist. "If you weren't so sick, I'd punch your damn lights out."

"Is he right?" Alex asked. "Is that what you were doing?"

Bobby shrugged. "I didn't know what else to do."

She pulled away from him and sat up straight. "So your go-to reaction is to drive away everyone who loves you, just when you need us the most?"

"Why would I pull you in closer? That will just cause you more pain in the end."

Mike shifted where he sat. "Maybe I'll punch you anyway. For being such a smart guy, you sure can be stupid sometimes."

Alex was frowning. "You honestly think that by driving everyone away, you'd make it easier for us when you die?"

"It made sense to me," Bobby answered defensively.

"You're an idiot," Mike replied.

"Do you have any idea how guilty I would feel if I left you? How much I would regret time not spent with you? How horrible I would feel if you died alone? Damn, Bobby..."

"You didn't think this through at all," Mike added. "You short-circuited again and quit thinking."

Alex hugged her knees and stared at her feet. "Dammit!" she said again, and she got up and left the room.

Bobby leaned his head back and banged it against the wall. "Don't do that," Mike snapped. "You might cause more damage."

He got up and left the room as well. Bobby sat in silence, brooding over what he'd done. Had he done the right thing in telling them the truth? Apparently not. He got up and walked to his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He dressed and sat on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do. Feeling dizzy, he laid back across the bed, trying to think as the room spun slowly around him. For the first time in weeks, his chest didn't feel tight and he could relax. Before he decided what to do, he drifted to sleep.