After Jace left my room I broke. I cried for my hopeless life. I cried for my mixed emotions. I grabbed my knife and cut my wrist. I carved into my own skin 'You will never be loved'. I dug deep and pushed hard. I let the blood flow. I used my own blood as my ink and wrote down my every emotion. I felt betrayed. Not only because of Jace but also because of my own mother. She left me here to die, to rot in hell with these two people that I call family. This is my song to them:
Louder, louder
The voices in my head
Whispers taunting
All the things you said
Faster the days go by and I'm still
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here
Time
In the blink of an eye
You held my hand, you held me tight
Now you're gone
And I'm still crying
Shocked, broken
I'm dying inside
Where are you?
I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me
Be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me
Shadows linger
Only to my eye
I see you, I feel you
Don't leave my side
It's not fair
Just when I found my world
They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart
I miss you, you hurt me
You left with a smile
Mistaken, you sadness
Was hiding inside
Now all that's left
Are the pieces to find
The mystery you kept
The soul behind a guise
Where are you
I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me
Be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me
Why did you go?
All these questions run through my mind
I wish I couldn't feel at all
Let me be numb
I'm starting to fall
Where are you?
I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me
Be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me
Where are you?
Where are you?
You were smiling
As I finished my song I stopped crying. I am turning weak. I am crying over Jace. My tormentors' best friend! No more tears over him!
I glance at the clock and I go running to my bathroom to scrub up my wrist and bandage it properly. I then run to Isabelle's house to prepare for seeing Jace, to prepare for seeing my brother. To prepare to go to pandemonium
Jace POV-
I can't believe that Clary would lie to me like that. Jonathan isn't capable of hurting anyone like that, let alone his sister! She's just an attention whore; I don't know why I thought she was different than the other girls I dated.
But I can't help this nagging feeling I have that, deep down, Clary might not have been lying.
I quickly shake the thought off- I have known Jonathan for ten years now! I've known Clary for what? Three days?! With that I storm off to find Jonathan to get ready for pandemonium. It's all ready 4:30! We have to be there at 5 to set up and, trust me, I don't just wake up looking this good.
I find Jon and the rest of the band packing up our equipment and join in to help.
"What was that screaming up there?" I heard Jordan ask me.
"Oh, that? Clary lied to me about something and I got upset with her. We have to be honest with each other in this project." I shrugged off.
"What did she try to lie to you about?" He persisted. With a quick glance at Jon I noticed him looking intently at me.
"Ya, what did she say?" Jon asked me with a smirk.
"It's nothing guys, just drop it." For some reason, I really didn't want to tell Jon the truth. Something just didn't feel right and until I figured out what that was; I wasn't saying anything.
"You know you can tell us anything right? Even if it's about my little sister?" Jon told me.
"Ya, I know Jon thanks." With that I ran up the stairs and through the door to my car to run home and get ready.
I walk into the house to the sound of music blaring from Isabelle's room. I could hear high -pitched giggles coming from underneath the door as I walked by. With an eye roll I continued on to my room to get ready.
I pulled on my favorite black skinny jeans that were ripped just right. They were tight enough to show off my muscular physique but loose enough so I could perform on stage tonight. I then pulled on my lucky white t-shirt, which showed off my sculpted arms. I grabbed my hair gel and spiked my hair to perfection. I pulled on my signature white converse- a stark contrast to my solid black pants. On my way out the door I grabbed my leather Jacket from the closet and jumped into my car.
I texted Jonathan and told him to meet me at pandemonium so we could go over the plan for our little, lying Clary.
When it was finally time to go on stage I was pumped up. I had all ready had a shot of tequila to take the edge off of my nerves. I was ready for our opening act; but I was especially pumped for our ending act. That's when our plan would unfold.
The concert was going great! Everybody was having a fantastic time! Now is the time, the ending act!
As I started singing into the microphone with all my might and last bit of energy I looked for a certain red headed girl, when I finally found I her I made I contact and smirked. Her reaction was priceless.
Clary POV-
As I finally arrive at Isabelle's house, panting because I was out of breath, I go barging through the door and sprint up the stairs. I slam open the door to see none other than Isabelle Lightwood standing there in all of her glory, glaring me down.
"It's about time missy, you're late!" Izzy exclaimed with a glare.
"I'm sorry." I huff out in between pants. "Jace and I were working on our project." Man, I really have to get in shape, this is just sad.
"Whatever, lets get ready we have to hurry now!" Isabelle shooed me to her vanity in the back corner of her room. On it she had make-up and hair care products scattered everywhere. She runs over to her stereo and begins blasting her music. I grin and we both begin 'singing' to the music. But really it is just us yelling the lyrics as loud as we can. Don't get me wrong, Isabelle is an amazing singer…. When she tries.
As I sit down she begins rubbing and brushing different products into my hair, making it silky and smooth. She then began putting a bunch of different liquids and powders all over my face. We both speak no words, stuck in our own thoughts and periodically busting out in song then a fit of giggles.
Before I know it, Izzy's done.
"Ok, you're done!" Isabelle says with a squeal. As I turn around to look she quickly grabs my chair- preventing me from turning. "You're not allowed to look yet!" She yells at me. "You have to get dressed first! Then you can look!"
With a huff I go into the bathroom where my out fit is hanging up on the door. It is an extremely short dress that looks like it would barley covers my butt. It is long-sleeved with sheer sleeves.
I can't wear this! What about my scars?! They would show clearly in this!
"Izzy! I can't wear this! What are you thinking?!" I yell through the door.
"Just put it on!" She shouts, clearly distracted.
I just groan in response, I can't believe this. What is she trying to do? Kill me?
I pull on the dress and I have to admit I feel sexy but extremely uncomfortable. I look down to my wrists and the new ugly words are barely visible. For such sheer sleeves- they sure do cover a lot.
I look down at my legs and just as I suspected, my self-inflicted scars are very visible. I huff and walk out of the bathroom.
"Izzy, I can't wear this! Look!" I practically scream at her.
"You're fine Clary! Look in the mirror!"
When I turn around to look in her floor-length mirror I am blown away. My hair is perfectly curled into beautiful, soft waves. My make up is a dark smoky brown making my green eyes look even brighter. I look to my dress and see someone I don't recognize. The girl in the mirror looks confident and beautiful. She is all I could ever hope to be. As I scrutinize the dress I notice that my eyes aren't immediately drawn to the faded pink lines on my thighs. They are drawn to the very little cleavage that I have- thanks to Izzy's push- up bra; and my slim but prominent shoulders and hips.
I look stunning.
"Thank you so much Izzy. I can't believe it I don't look myself." I tell her gratefully.
"Don't be silly Clary. Make-up isn't magic, it just enhances the beauty all ready there. You were beautiful with out it. Remember that always." Izzy said with a smile. I just stare at her shocked. That was the deepest thing I have ever heard her say.
"But my mad skillz did add a lil somethin somethin." She said with a wink as she spun around to finish her own make up. That was the Izzy I knew.
In the end, Isabelle and I complimented each other immensely. Where she was tall, I was short; even with the ridiculous heels she made me wear. While my dress was black, hers was red with no sleeves and was also extremely short. My make-up was dark brown and hers was a bluish color that complemented her eyes well.
As we walked into the club, it was packed with crazed fans of The Demon Brothers.
"I'm going to go get a drink." Izzy shouted over her shoulder as she walked to the bar. As I stared after I saw what she was really doing- seeing Simon Lewis. I also saw Maia- the girl in my music class and Jordan's girlfriend.
After awkwardly standing alone for a while I walked over to them and sat down on the bar stool next to Izzy. Right as I sat down I saw Jace motion over to me from the side of the stage. With a quick glance at Izzy I walked over to him. He pulled me into the back room and kissed me very quickly and passionately on the lips.
After, he quickly rushed into a speech about how sorry he was and that he took back everything that he said to my room and that he really liked me. But I wasn't paying any attention. I was grinning form ear to ear like a maniac. Eventually Jace caught on to that I wasn't paying attention.
"What?" He finally asked me.
"You stole my first kiss." I told him breathless.
"What? That was your fist kiss?" He asked me unbelievingly.
"Ya." I told him nodding. It was right then and there that I realized that I liked Jace Wayland. While I was caught up into my thoughts Jace began profusely apologizing.
I cut him off when I said "It's ok, you don't have to apologize anymore I really like you so I'm ok." Right as I finished speaking someone came barging into the room- my brother. I quickly stepped back with a blush he just smirked at me.
"I gotta go, bye babe." Jace said with a wink and a quick kiss on my cheek.
"Bye" I muttered after he had all ready left.
After I got my thoughts back together I went back out to Isabelle with a smile on my face. Before she could question me The Demon Brothers stepped out on stage.
They were fantastic! The way Jace was moving around the mike and his silky sweet yet strong voice was intoxicating.
Finally it was their last set.
Jace comes on stage.
"I would like to dedicate this to Clary." He said with an evil grin.
Music that I didn't recognize went through the speakers.
I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably working
At a nine to five pace
I wonder how bad that tastes
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Now where's your picket fence love
And where's that shiny car
And did it ever get you far
You never seemed so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are
And truth be told I'm going to miss you
And truth be told I'm lying
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on
And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song
I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along
I hope that it puts you through hell
By the end of the song I was crying. How could I have been so stupid as to think that he would ever like me?! I looked over to see everyone staring at me in pity. Out of the crowd I heard someone scream "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR SISTER JONATHAN?!" With this everyone started screaming a booing at Jonathan. My brother.
I ran home to crawl into bed.
However, before I could get ready and get into bed. Jonathan caught me in the kitchen. He threw me into the wall bashing my head repeatedly against it.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOU RUINED MY CAREER! EVERYONE THINKS THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU! AND EVERYONE LOVES YOU! WHY'D YOU CRY?! DID YOU THINK THAT HE ACTUALLY FUCKING LOVED YOU!?"
He then repeatedly kicked and punched me until I passed out in a puddle of my own blood.
Jace POV-
As I was walking home I remembered that I left my backpack at Jonathan's house when I was doing my project with Clary.
I don't know why that hurt so badly. I felt too guilty doing that to Clary. I shake it off as I walk up their front steps. I hear screaming inside and figured I should just walk in quietly and grab my bag and leave unnoticed. As I opened the door silently I grab my bag but as I was leaving I hear my name.
As I walked around the corner into the Morgenstern's kitchen I saw Jonathan screaming, kicking, and punching Clary's lifeless body in her own blood.
I barely contained my gasp as I turned and ran out of the house silently.
I can't believe that he would ever do that. I thought he was my best friend. I walk towards home completely and utterly confused, guilty and angry.
A/N
Thanks for all of the fantastic reviews!
I don't own either of the songs! The first one is Kelly Clarkson's Haunted and the second is All-American Rejects' Gives You Hell
I hoped you like it! Please R and R and tell me what you think of it and what you think I should do from here! I have a general idea but I want to have your thoughts!
Thank you!
Alexa