It had been two and a half weeks since my my powers and the soul society had returned back into my life, and one week since leaving Riuken's hospital, having told my dad where I was. Every limb agonised at night, but, as the training continued, nights became easier, dreamless and relaxed. I've fought my way up to captain level, but that would never feel good enough. I'd embraced it the hollow and surpassed it, and now, I missed the darker side of me that gave me my edge.

I just wished that Urahara would tell me what they were, why he gave me back my powers so readily. What I was training to defeat.

A small tap at the door broke me out of my thoughts, and I hummed to permit the short silhouette to enter. I expected Rukia, but instead, Hitsuguya walked through, eyes cold and heavy behind his mess of white hair. "Kurosaki."

I stumbled through my words over shock for a moment, and sat up straighter in the presence of the young captain. "Hey, Toshiro. Whats up?"

He seemed awkward in the doorway, his hands pinned to his sides. He sighed, and looked down, and instantly appeared younger. Nothing more than a child. He looked back up, and opened his eyes, and I thought of all that time ago, the exiled and wrongly accused captain. "My apologies. I didn't mean to intrude-"

"You're here about Karin."

Again, he sighed, but remained solid in his stance. He didn't deny or admit it. He didn't say a word.

"You haven't...I mean, she isn't...?"

"She will be in the Seireitei, Ichigo. Like many others."

"So you haven't been able to find her?"

He paused for a moment, and for what felt like the millionth time, he sighed. "No. I've looked. But not yet."

I switched my gaze back to my knees, some unidentifiable emotion threatening its ugly head. The room felt thick with it.

"Thanks, Toshiro. I knew-...know...you're friends."

"I have no business referring to your sister as a friend, Kurosaki."

With that, he slid the door to a solid but quiet close, and left me blank.

...

The next morning, I found someone utterly unexpected in the train grounds, playing target practise with Ikkaku. I found Rukia watching from the sidelines, clearly impressed by the accuracy of the florescent blue arrows.

"He's out of practice, apparently. You cant tell, right?"

I watch in annoyance at Uryu, hitting the javelin from half a mile away within Ikkaku's fingers. With each hit, he flashes a further few feet away, spinning it harder and faster, his movements becoming more erratic and unpredictable. "How long has he been here?"

"About half hour, he came along shortly after a phone call with Kisuke. He didn't know you were here before then."

"Of course not, he's been elsewhere for months while I've been holed up in that place. Idiot."

She couldn't hide that condescending smirk. "So you don't know, either. That's strange."

"He disappeared, off the radar, left Riuken to help us get settled in. More or less straight after the war."

Rukia gave the exchange a brief thought, her index finger tapping on her chin. Se placed it back, tucked into her arms, and continued watching. "Maybe he's been doing something about his weaknesses, unlike some people."

i shot straight into defence mode, about to throw all kinds of profanities her way, when a white head flashed into view before us. "If you two wouldn't mind conducting yourselves in the proper manner, Kurosaki...I wish to talk with you."

instantly I straightened up, and itched the back of my neck awkwardly. "Erm, yeah, of course Toshiro." I flashed a look at Rukia, who simply shrugged in disinterest. I turned back to follow and we flashed out of earshot of the others.

"Firstly, Kurosaki, I would appreciate your discontinued use of my first name. I am aware of how much the soul society owes you, in turn myself, but-"

"Just tell me why you said what you did about my sister, and we can forget informalities." He stopped, blinked slowly, and nodded in acceptance. "You've become sharper in the last year or so, Kurosaki."

i didnt reply, i simply waited with my arms crossed like the big brother defending his sister from a bully. I stared down at the child captain, his aqua older avoiding mine. "I said nothing against your sister, Kurosaki. I simply said I have no business referring to her as my friend."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean? She wasn't about enough? Wasn't trained enough, strong enough, mature enough? She talked about you, more than even she knew, and-"

"Don't you dare imply such things! You believe I would say such things about her when I wasn't even around to save the one human i cared for?"

Frozen mid speech, I replayed his angry words in his head, every time sounding more and more like a guilty consciousness. "Toshiro I-"

"I said I had no business... because I wasn't strong enough to save her, and thus I do not deserve to be regarded as her friend."

Silence fell, until after a few seconds I could hear Ishida calling Ikkaku and imbicile for what ever reason. I avoided Toshiro's eyes, and instead focused on the collision far away to escape the thick atmosphere.

"I am sorry, Kurosaki. I failed your family, and myself."

"No, you didn't. Im her older brother, it was down to me."

I still looked away, but I could tell he couldn't say this, be so open and pitiful, any other way. I glanced, but his back was to me. "No. It wasn't. I swear, I'll find her myself." Then he flashed away.

...

On my break I sat on the steps and watched the captains duel against one another. Kyoraku and Ukitake, two of the oldest captains of the 13 court guard squad, laughing and countering murderous attacks like child's play. To me, they were invincible.

"Ichigo," a throaty voice greeted, and I looked up distantly to Uryu. "Ishida. Decided to come back."

"Hmm." He took a seat on the step two behind mine. He said nothing more than that, although he was never one for idle chit chat. We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Ichigo," he finally began. I looked around, pivoting my head on the palm of my hand. "Yeah."

"Do what ever you need to to get back into focus. Guilt is not going to spur you on if you give into it."

I turned back, my eyes tight. "You've spoken to the old man, then."

"No. Rukia told me. When it happened."

I frowned. "What?"

"I had a call from her, one of the few times she was down here. That's why I've come back. One hell of a journey, I'm afraid, on foot."

"I'm sorry, why have you come back?"

He stood, and pushed his glasses up. "Because, before we deal with any of the things down here, we have to get you back in the frame of mind. In order to do that, Kurosaki, we have to find Karin. For your sake, and Karakura Town."