A/N: Short chapter, but the next one should be on its heels…
With his hunger temporarily sated, Loki decided to go up to the tower roof and get some fresh air. He stood before the elevator, punched the "up" button, and marveled once again at the breadth of Midgardian resourcefulness. It was truly amazing how the mortals managed to compensate for their pathetic lack of magical abilities and thus to live almost normal lives, he thought as the car arrived and the metal doors slid open.
Outside, it was chilly to be in only a robe and flannel pants, but Loki found a spot out of the wind and wrapped his arms around his chest for warmth. He leaned against the cold cement wall and stared up at the New York sky, smiling to see the full moon. It was larger and brighter on Asgard, but still very pretty here. He mused on the celestial differences between the two realms, a fitting line of thought for someone preparing to humble himself so deeply.
He needed to speak to his mother, but the only way to reach her was either by getting Thor to act as an intermediary, or by reaching out to Heimdall. Thor was not an option, because Loki was too impatient to take the time to find him and, besides, he didn't care to let his brother know how little fortitude he possessed in the face of his bizarre situation.
No, like a lowly commoner, he'd have to go crawling to Heimdall. He scowled at the thought; Heimdall had been witness to some of the greatest humiliations of his youth, and the sentry had never been one to be taken in by Loki's bullshit. He'd also disregarded Loki's authority during his brief stint as king, leading to, well, not very good things for Loki. But, Loki knew it had all been for the well-being of the people of Asgard, and, now that Loki was in recovery, it occurred to him that he probably owed Heimdall an apology.
He sat cross-legged on the hard rooftop floor and closed his eyes. "Heimdall," he said aloud. "Please. I know we haven't been on very good terms lately, but—"
"But?" came the voice in his head, sounding a bit impatient.
Well, at least he was listening. "Look, I, uh, haven't always... made good decisions, and, well..." Rare was the case when Loki struggled to express himself, but now he hesitated, trying to find the next sentence .
"Go on," Heimdall prompted smoothly.
Loki groaned, but stumbled ahead. "Well, I suppose you could say I've behaved rather badly in the past, and I've probably been a bit short with you now and again, and—"
He heard an exasperated sigh reverberate in his brain. "Forgive my rudeness, young prince, but I'd really prefer it if you'd get to the point."
Loki rolled his eyes, but said, "Very well. What I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry." Once the words slid out, Loki was surprised to find that he actually meant them. It became a little easier to speak. "You've always had the realm's best interests at heart and I... For a long time, I cared only for my own selfish interests. But, I've changed and I've learned, and now I know how wrong I was. I'm sorry for the pain and grief I've caused you, and I-I beg your forgiveness."
His mind was quiet, and for a moment he was discouraged. If Heimdall wouldn't accept his apology, or if he'd been forbidden to assist Loki in communicating with his mother, he'd have no choice but to face the greater humiliation of going to Thor. But, to his surprise and relief, Heimdall laughed.
"Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear Loki Silvertongue say. You really have come far in your recovery. Your mother is very proud of you, and rightly so."
"Yes, well... Thank you." Loki cleared his throat. "Uh... Speaking of the Allmother, do you suppose I might have a word with her? In private. Please."
"Of course. In fact, she's headed here now..." Heimdall's voice now had a positively jovial tone. "A little bird told her you might be asking for her. Farewell, young prince. I... accept your apology."
With that, Loki felt Heimdall's presence fade, and another draw closer. He closed his eyes, remembering the way moonlight made Frigga's blonde hair shimmer. He remembered when he was small, how her eyes would sparkle as she indulgently watched her sons gambol about on nights like this, silly and rambunctious instead of being properly in bed asleep.
Her scent seemed to fill the air. He held out one hand, imagining his fingertips first on a smiling cheek, then brushing over a silk dress threaded with gold. His shoulders began to feel warmer, almost as if a loving arm had slipped around him in a warm embrace. He kept his eyes tightly shut, refusing to face the empty air, wanting to hold on to the illusion as long as possible. "Mother," he said, silently speaking. "I need your wisdom. Please, let me hear you." After a moment, he heard Frigga say "Loki..." as clearly as if she were sitting beside him.
He leaned his head back. "Mother?" he whispered out loud.
"I can hear you, darling. What is it? Are you all right? Is the baby..."
"We're fine. In fact, I felt it move today," Loki said softly.
"Oh, how wonderful! Was it amazing?"
"Yes, but... It suddenly seems so real." He switched back to speaking to her in his mind. "I have so many questions, and no one to bring them to."
"Tsk. I know it's all so strange for you, and of course you have questions. But I've been studying my ancestor's writings and I feel sure I can offer you at least some answers. Ask away, my love. What do you want to know?"
Loki laughed a little. "Well, first, a very basic matter. I'm afraid I know the answer, but—how will the creature, uh, baby, even come out of me?"
Frigga laughed too. "You'll need to assume your Jotun form, dear. Your true anatomy is hidden, but will serve you well once it is revealed."
Loki curled his lip. "Ugh. Isn't there another way?"
"A skilled surgeon could take it out of you, but that is an extreme measure. It would be extremely stressful and dangerous for both you and my grandchild. I sincerely hope it won't come to that."
"As do I." Loki sighed resignedly. "I doubt there's anyone on Midgard with the appropriate qualifications who would understand about my... heritage."
"Mm. Well, the good thing is that, once your Jotun anatomy is available, things will progress like any other birth. Surely there is information on the subject available on Midgard?"
"Tony is going to bring me some books."
"Very good. And, don't forget, I will be there to assist. Everything will be fine."
"Tony wants us to have 'natural childbirth,' which sounds painful." Loki sniffed in annoyance.
Frigga gave an amused huff. "I am familiar with that concept. Feel free to go along with it if you like, but I'll bring a potion, just in case. There's nothing harmful in it, and it's worthwhile to be prepared. Now, what else concerns you, love?"
"My seidr... Will it return to normal right away, or—"
"It will, but remember, it will have been pent up for a long time and your body will be quite weak for a day or so. I would suggest leaving it alone until you are strong enough to control it properly, and then ease into using it again. You'll be back to normal within a week, I would think."
"That will be a relief." Loki thought a minute before asking, "Will the child also have seidr?"
"Judging by what happened at SHIELD headquarters, I would say yes. But don't worry—he won't be able to access the power until he's older, and then only through your teaching. It's rather like learning to read—the potential is there, but there's no comprehension until the child has reached a certain level of development."
"If you'll recall, it's already caused an explosion," Loki pointed out dryly.
"Yes, but it was merely funneling your own magic. Once it's no longer bound to your body, that will not be possible."
Loki nodded, feeling slightly relieved.
"What else?" Frigga prompted.
"Well... If I'm in Jotun form, Tony won't be able to touch me." Loki sounded sad. "What about the baby? Without Odin to place a spell on it, it may be just the same. Will it ever feel its father's caress?"
For the first time, Frigga was silent. "I don't know," she finally answered. "I'll look into that. There has to be a way."
They were both quiet for a bit, and then Frigga said, "Well, I'm very sorry, dear, but I must go now. I hope you feel at least a little better. Oh, and that was a lovely apology you made to Heimdall—if you'd like to talk again, I'm sure you won't have any trouble contacting me in the future. And let Thor know the moment you think the birth is imminent. He will bring me to you right away."
"I do feel better. Thank you, Mother. I-I love you."
"And I you, my son. I can hardly wait to be with you again, and to meet my grandchild. That will be a wonderful day."
"I suppose."
"It will! Now, please don't worry."
"All right. Goodbye, Mother." Loki leaned back and let the energy drain out of him. He felt wrung out, but lighter for having most of his concerns answered. Now, he just wished he could think of a way for Tony to be able to touch him when the baby arrived, since he was so determined to be his "birth coach." What an absurd notion, he thought, as if they were going to play some sort of bizarre contact sport. We've already done that, he thought with a snicker.
Loki idly held his hand up, obscuring the moon in the sky. He slowly flexed his fingers.
And, a thought came to him.