His hand bites to dust, just too early for me to grab it. What if I hadn't gone to take it? Would it have burst in a silent, significant way, like burning wood? Did I speed up the process, would he have stayed a little longer if not for me? What would he have said next?

Could I have saved him? I see the huge, black wings shrinking, disappeared into him, taking him with them. His emerald eyes are cool with silent acceptance. Was that what that emotion was, stuck there each time I looked into them? Acceptance for death? Was he always, eternally prepared for it? That was too sad, far, far too sad.

As his face, the final part of him left, dissolved, my hand, outstretched, felt heavy. I heard words in my head, his voice, but ghost like. Intrigued, curious. A whisper of contentment, and of loss.

"I see it now...in my hand...was a heart..."

I looked to my hand, frozen in suspense, as though holding it out would encourage his atoms to rearrange. I wanted him to have it back, just to see what he'd be like with something so precious. After a few moments, I closed my eyes, and allowed my heavy arm to drop. Not once did I close my hand, frightened to crush the invisible gift. "Ill...keep it safe...Ulquiorra."

...

My eyes burst open to a flash of lime green and white, and then faces blended into the mix. I heaved and jumped, and sat up straight. I looked around at the strangers, barely feeling a pang of familiarity. They stared at me, stunned.

"Orihime," a small, black haired girl said. She too was in one of those kimonos. "Are you alright?"

I thought, and stared down at the palm of my right hand. "Oh, good. Yes, I think so."

My voice was shaky and hollow, but maybe they would stop staring like that if I pretended. I found the bespectacled boy, the only one I vaguely recognised beyond the picture. "Are you...going after...him?"

He met my eyes, and nodded. I panicked, but tried to keep it hidden.

"Why? He's done nothing to you. Any of you. Not him him."

Ichigo, looking like he'd just been slapped or told off, adjusted his seating uncomfortably. "Yeah," he said, itching the back of his head, "We're not killing him. Looks like you win." He stood, and stretched. I'm off to train with Renji. See ya later." He flashed from sight.

"Orihime, do you remember anything at all? Can you tell us what you remember, exactly?"

I pushed hard for memories before the hospital, but they were constantly becoming darker, and darker. Darker than before. So I began where I started. The hospital. Meeting U, finding the school and the clues to my name, the dreams, and escaping the school with Ulquiorra in tow and up to here. I realised then that what felt like a long time with him was merely days when I spoke of them. I included how he was when I first met him, and how far he'd come up to the point he left.

The more I spoke, the closer I came to the end of the story, the thicker my throat felt, until my voice could barely push past the lump. My story came to a close, and I helped myself up. "I'm just going to get some air."

Rukia nodded. "We understand."

I found I liked her. She listened to my story, she didn't interrupt. Her eyes were full of sympathy, as I my story were simply just a tale of losing a friend, someone special. She listened as though the person i'd lost wasn't him, somebody normal.

The rain was pouring heavily, so I stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame and holding myself in a pathetic, lonely hug. Typical, the whether was just as heavy and oppressive as the mood I was in. I felt no better, in fact I was reminded again and again that he was out there, on his own, hopefully smart enough to find shelter. Would he be bothered about that?

Would it affect him if he got caught in the rain?

I had the strongest urge to just go, to find him, seek him out and bring him in the warmth. While both of us wanted answers, I was the one who was getting them, the shelter. The past was coming back to me, but I wasn't sure I was the one who wanted it. All I wanted was a name. The rest I would accept.

"Oh, Ulquiorra..." I whispered pathetically, and a tear silently fell.

A couple of light footsteps approached, and I caught a glimpse of the purple haired woman. I didn't say a word to her.

"You know," she began, not sounding half as angry back in the town, "I would put 1000 yen on things not being so bad in the morning." I heard the light smile in her voice, like a teasing sisterly tone. I looked to her, tears still trickling down. "Really? Just...sleep on it?"

"Yeah!" she motivated, her cat like fangs poking out from her smile. "I recommend it rather strongly. The worst day of your life can only become better with sleep."

I thought about that for a moment, liking the poetry of it, and looked back out to the rain. "I don't know."

"The way you spoke about him in there, I'll say he'll be home soon enough. You wont even have chance to miss him."

The way I spoke about him? What? She wasn't even in there. Was she listening at the door. "You...you heard that?"

"Are you kidding? Cat ears pick up anything, Orihime." She grinned, and left.

The woman...was the cat?! My eyes widened. No...way.

...

The rain drops bite sharply at my skin, the skin exposed by the ever decreasing material left of my clothing. It feels sharp, numb and sore at the same time, a shock and a dull ache at once, all over. I grab at the scant pieces around my torso and arms to shield my shoulders, but they fall apart from my off white skin. I don't stop...I carry on walking, enduring the tiny stabs, slowly causing great aches in my muscles.

What is this? What is this sensation? Droplets of water, rain, filled with tiny microscopic blades, slashing me. My muscles begin to shiver and tense. I don't know this...its unfamiliar.

But its not. I'd tried to work those little sticks, those matches, to stop the girl shivering. I knew what they were, I knew what they did. She was shivering...she once complained. What was that word?

Cold.

Was I...cold? I'd never felt that before. Not even in rain heavier than this, thick snow fall, things I knew somehow were meant to be cold. I'd gone...how ever long i'd gone without being affected in any way by temperature. It was a time like this I wish it hadn't changed.

Wait. If i'm cold...what does that mean? Am I changing?

Is it meant to hurt like this?

I continue walking, but at a slower pace.

What if I were changing, what then? Continue to limber and wonder and ache with no memories? I cant think straight.

I don't recognise this part, although we must have walked through it. I stop to look around, grey sky and dilapidated buildings surrounding, intimidating me. They tower over me like masses of those creatures we encountered, thundering quietly but with a message. I was alone...for the first time in days.

Before, I wanted to be alone with my thoughts much of the time. Now, i'd found someone who shared them.

And I left her...Just as I was becoming...interesting.

I am changing. I had changed. Does that mean im still the enemy? Or am I some ambiguous being, on the line between dead and what ever I was before?

Why do I say things like that? That I was something other than...alive?

Would I ever be that?

Whatever happens, I suddenly begin to realise that leaving her was a poor idea, for my sake. But where do I find her?