Thanks everybody for reading ^^ and reviewing too!
Now, this is the cheesiest chapter ever. But I did warn on the description that it'd be a story of romance and friendship so... It was about time! hehe
I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Ps. I don't own Glee. I just wish I could work there.
From Sebastian S. (08:45 p.m.): I could come over, then.
Kurt shivered. Okay, how could he not want Sebastian to come over? After all, both Santana and Rachel knew about them now. Besides, none of them were on the apartment. That didn't mean they wouldn't come back soon, though...
Ugh. Who was he trying to fool? It was not the girls that Kurt feared. It was himself. He had a limited amount of restraint and energy to keep his feelings and emotions at bay around Sebastian. Kurt might have acted brave and determined last night, but he doubted he had it in him to be like that two days on a row without getting conflicted.
So he decided he'd be honest. Well, sort of.
To Sebastian S. (08:58 p.m.): Okay, your texts were suggestive, but I really meant I'm having a lazy night. No funny business allowed. If you accept my terms though, I gladly invite you to come over :P
Done, he thought while pressing 'send'. Kurt was quite certain Sebastian would not be interested if there was no guarantee of funny business. And Kurt was really feeling in the mood for a lazy night. So there was no harm.
From Sebastian S. (09:03 p.m.): Ha! I'll try to control myself. See you in 30''
Kurt's eyes went wide with shock when he read the text. Okay, so that hadn't really worked.
Now I've seen everything, Kurt thought. Did Sebastian really want to spend his Saturday night like that? Or was he secretly hoping they'd have sex? Either way, Kurt had no choice now but to let him come over.
He sighed, and started typing back.
To Sebastian S. (09:07 p.m.): You better bring some of your mom's pastries then!
If Kurt was to suffer, then he'd prefer to do it with a happy stomach.
/
"How can you not like Julie? What kind of musical theatre geek you are?" Kurt asked, dramatically shocked, with his mouth full of lasagne.
"I'm none!" Sebastian protested, rolling his eyes, and he dug his fork on Kurt's plate. "I joined the Warblers because I liked performing, and the theatre club looked so lame" he said, swallowing down.
Kurt observed him exasperated. "For the third time, Sebastian – there's more lasagne on the kitchen table." But Sebastian ignored him and stole food from his plate again.
The boy continued, pretending not to hear Kurt. "Plus, I didn't say I didn't like her. I'm just indifferent to the woman" Sebastian shrugged casually. Kurt's jaw fell open – he felt almost offended. "Oh, you're so dramatic" Sebastian joked, "all I said was that I didn't like The Sound of Music."
"Shh!" Kurt made, coming forwards and covering Sebastian's mouth with his own hands, playfully. "I told you – every time someone says that, a kitten dies" he giggled.
Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian for a moment, and he had the feeling that whatever the thought invading Sebastian's mind right now, it couldn't be a good idea. Kurt uncovered Sebastian's mouth and the boy gave him a cheeky, malicious smile. Kurt moved back on the couch but it was too late. Sebastian trapped his hands and immobilised him.
"Hey!" Kurt complained, though he was still giggling. Sebastian placed himself on top of Kurt, forcing him to lay his back down on the coach.
"Now," Sebastian smirked – Kurt observed him intrigued, "which movie we're not gonna watch tonight?" he demanded, and Kurt tried to move his legs, to kick him or else, but Sebastian's body blocked him.
"Oh, you little tyrant!" Kurt complained, shaking his upper body. Sebastian bit his lip, amused, and started tickling Kurt's sides. Kurt laughed hard, uncontrollably. "Oh, stop it" Kurt begged, his cheeks hurting from the laughter, "please, Sebastian, I can get very aggressive when I'm tickled – I'm warning you!"
"I'd like to see that" Sebastian argued sarcastically, and kept attacking Kurt's sides.
"I'm serious! I can't control it! Stooop!" Kurt's voice reached its highest tone. Then, as Kurt had announced, he started losing control of his actions. He moved and shook trying to liberate himself in vain. Then, he used the only part of his body he still could control in order to defend himself: his mouth. Kurt bit everything he had at reach: Sebastian's shoulder, shirt, head… anything. It was a defence mechanism Kurt had unconsciously developed when he was a child.
"Ahh, you bit me!" Sebastian complained, and lifted his hand to rub his head, with a painful expression. It liberated Kurt in the process.
Kurt sat himself and started apologising, regaining a steady breathing. "Oh, Sebastian, I'm so, so sorry!" he brought up his hand to caress Sebastian's head. "I tried to warn you!" Kurt protested.
"You actually bit me" Sebastian repeated, looking shocked, but at the same time, somewhat amused, "everywhere". Then Kurt witnessed Sebastian's eyes getting darker. "You were so out of control" the boy chuckled, biting his lip, "it was kind of hot" he added, staring right at Kurt.
Kurt blushed. "Ho-hot?" he stuttered, feeling dumb. "But I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked, coming closer to study Sebastian's head, still caressing it.
Sebastian gave him a side smile, shaking his head on a dismissal gesture, and brought his hands to Kurt's lips, putting them aside to study his teeth. Kurt felt weirdly observed.
"Bite me again" Sebastian suddenly demanded, with that unquestionable tone.
Kurt was taken aback by the sudden roughness. "What?!" he asked, freaking out.
Sebastian pressed his thumb on Kurt's lower lip and his expression got serious, demanding. "Bite me" he repeated, looking right at Kurt's eyes. Challenging him.
Kurt widened his eyes, perplexed. Sebastian turned his head to the side, offering Kurt his neck. "Come on," Sebastian said, his hands now caressing both Kurt's thighs reassuringly, "I know you have a thing for my neck" he added, calmly.
Kurt did nothing. He just observed the boy in front of him, wondering if this was a normal behaviour or Sebastian was kidding him.
"Bite it" Sebastian commanded now, somewhat harshly.
That made Kurt react. He instantly came closer, compelled by Sebastian's fierceness. Kurt touched the skin, feeling it… and he gently bit it.
"Harder" Sebastian demanded him immediately.
Kurt breathed out, not sure if he was excited or scared. He came closer again and bit Sebastian's neck, slightly harder this time. Before Sebastian could tell him off again, Kurt unconsciously bit another spot a little higher, and added some extra pressure on the bite.
Sebastian breathed out somewhat louder, which Kurt took as a good sign. He continued biting Sebastian's neck, never too hard though. Sebastian's hold on his thighs became tighter.
A few seconds later the bites turned into kisses – Kurt really couldn't tell when or how. He kissed every spot around Sebastian's neck, chin, ears and clavicles. God, he was starting to get obsessed with those clavicles too. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's back and laid themselves down. Two seconds later, Kurt realised he was on top of Sebastian now.
Sweet Gaga, how had they ended up like this? Kurt meant it when he said he didn't want any 'funny business' tonight! But having Sebastian underneath him was so… compelling. The boy kept looking at him, vulnerable and expecting, and Kurt didn't want him to feel rejected.
So instead, he came down and kissed Sebastian's lips tenderly, for a few seconds. Suddenly the rush and the heat were gone.
Sebastian broke the kiss and brought his hand to caress Kurt's face. "What's wrong?"
Kurt observed him, unsure. "I don't know" he said honestly, then brushed his nose against Sebastian's. "I suddenly remembered the text I sent you" Kurt admitted.
Sebastian expression turned thoughtful, but the boy kept feeling Kurt's face with his hand, distractedly. Kurt closed his eyes unconsciously. "We can stop if you want" Sebastian said then.
Kurt opened his eyes again. "Oh-" he made, somewhat relieved. "Would that be okay?" he asked tentatively.
Sebastian's eyes were smiling. "Sure. I told you I could control myself, didn't I?" the boy said, giving Kurt a cheeky smile.
Kurt kissed him again, briefly, because he startled at the sound of a slam of the door. He got up abruptly, nervously, to find Rachel dropping his coat on the kitchen table and carrying what it looked like an endless amount of bags.
She turned her head towards the living room and found a visibly panicked Kurt staring at her. "Oh, hey! I didn't see you ther-" she stopped when Sebastian got up too. "Oh. Hey" she said, somewhat perplexed.
"Hi, Rachel" Sebastian said, casually. Kurt observed him at awe. How did he do it? Did nothing ever make him nervous? "You need some help with that?" Sebastian asked her, and before Rachel could even open her mouth to say something, the boy was already there picking up some bags from the floor.
It took Kurt a couple of seconds to react, but he hurried to help Rachel too.
"Well, thank you" she said cheerily. "How you've been, Sebastian?" she politely asked. If there was one thing Rachel Berry was, that was polite. Even to her mortal enemy. Don't be dramatic, Hummel, Kurt thought.
"I'm fine, thanks. Can't complain myself." Sebastian answered politely too. Okay, so that wasn't awkward. Not at all. "What about you? I've been told you landed Funny Girl, right?"
Rachel stared at him suspiciously for a few seconds, but answered with a smile anyway. "That's right. I'll only be doing shows for three more weeks, though" she commented, and started unpacking her bags, full of vegetables and healthy food.
Kurt witnessed the whole exchanged mutely. "Oh, how's so?" Sebastian asked, and he managed to look genuinely interested, although Kurt knew he wasn't.
Rachel loved having a chance to talk about herself a little further, so she took it. "I need to move forward" she said, giving Sebastian a face full of determination. "I've been casted to do a TV pilot" she added brightly.
"That's fantastic" Sebastian told her, overdoing it a little with the excitement. Someone who had just known him could take his expression as excitement, but Kurt did know him by now and he knew that was an act. Rachel wouldn't tell the difference, though, so...
"Exactly" she nodded, proudly. "Thank you" she said animatedly. Kurt took the chance to cut in.
"Okay, then. We'll be on my room, Rach" he said, grasping Sebastian by the arm to leave the kitchen/living room.
"Oh" Rachel made, disappointed. "Well, it's been great to see you, Sebastian" she waved her hand cheerily.
God, you're even weaker than I am, Kurt thought while scrutinising Rachel. At least it took him more than two encounters to get along with Sebastian.
Sebastian returned the hand gesture. "It's been great to see you too, Rach" the boy mimicked Kurt, amused.
Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Mmh" Kurt made, narrowing his eyes at Sebastian once he closed the curtains. "That was nice" Kurt commented, testing the waters.
Sebastian chuckled, then he came closer to Kurt and rested his hands on Kurt's waist. "You know I can be nice when I want to" he grinned cockily.
Kurt couldn't help but feeling instantly better by the warm proximity. Dammit. He brought up his hands to rub Sebastian's arms and gave him a knowing smile. Nope – I'm weaker.
"Wanna lay down on the bed?" Sebastian whispered on his ear, rubbing his nose against it.
Kurt shivered. "Yeah- that sounds… good" he managed to say.
Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand and sat on the bed. "I think there's something we should discuss first, don't you think?" Sebastian asked him, somewhat seriously.
Kurt's stomach made a twist. "Is there?" Kurt mumbled, sitting beside Sebastian cautiously. His heart started beating faster.
Then Sebastian chuckled, squeezing Kurt's knee. "I mean, I've made clear I'm not watching The Sound of Music. What else do you have?" he asked, amused.
Kurt sighed, exasperated. "You scared me" he protested, slapping Sebastian's shoulder and getting up.
Sebastian laughed. "You're such a worrier."
Kurt brought him a box full of DVDs. "This will be easier if you just pick the movie" he said, giving up.
/
Sebastian's sense of irony brought them to watch Taxi Driver, a movie Kurt was not even aware he owned – in fact, he was quite certain the only reason it was on his box was because the cover looked incredibly similar to the cover of an old French movie he did own but it wasn't in the box. His father should be really confused.
So they were in Kurt's bed now, laptop in the nightstand and pastries somewhere near their bellies, all snuggled up in a blanket. Sebastian was holding Kurt from behind, one hand stroking his hair and the other simply playing with the fabric of Kurt's T-shirt. Kurt didn't have much access to Sebastian's body from his position, so he grabbed one of Sebastian's legs and put it over his, intertwining them. He stroked Sebastian's knee distractedly.
The movie theatre scene came up and they found each other quietly chuckling, knowingly. "You conveniently omitted 'the poor guy' was actually some sort of mental case, Bastian" Kurt whispered about half an hour later, freaked out.
Sebastian snorted. "I doubted that would help me present my case" he argued, hiding his nose on Kurt's hair.
"Indeed" Kurt replied distractedly. Then a very violent scene came up and he unconsciously reacted squeezing Sebastian's knee a little too tightly. The boy winced. "Sorry" Kurt mumbled, unsettled. Things were not looking good for Robert de Niro.
Blood. Kurt squeezed Sebastian's knee again. "Sorry" he quickly said again, and decided it would be better if he removed his hand from the spot. Sebastian said nothing, but put his arm around Kurt's, caressing it gently. Comforting Kurt.
Kurt realised what Sebastian was doing, and he was about to turn around to observe the boy when he heard a gunshot coming from the laptop. "Oh, dear" he mumbled, trembling.
Sebastian chuckled. "Jeez, it's just a gunshot, Kurt" he said, but kept on caressing Kurt's arm. His breath was now falling right into Kurt's cheek, and, for a moment, it was all Kurt could perceive.
Another gunshot made Kurt pay attention to the movie again. Kurt's hand found its way to Sebastian's free arm, and grabbed the forearm tightly.
"Are you really scared?" Sebastian asked him, intrigued.
Kurt shook his head. "No. I'm just no good with violence" Kurt told him, nervously. And it was the truth. Sometimes, he could not even handle action movies, which used to be a bummer for Blaine. Okay, why would he think about Blaine right now? He shook the thought away.
"Duly noted" Sebastian said, grabbing the hand Kurt had rested on his forearm and intertwining his fingers with Kurt's.
Kurt shivered. Here it was again: the sweetness. Sebastian comforting him. Kurt hadn't felt this good, this warmly and genuinely good, in a while. It wasn't only about Sebastian's proximity. It was about the attitude he was showing Kurt now. Cuddling wasn't about physical contact, but about intimacy. Non-sexual intimacy. The kind of intimacy that used to confuse him.
This time, though, it didn't. In fact, it acted like a trigger, because as soon as the credits appeared, Kurt turned around to face Sebastian, who had just started talking: "So... What did you thin-" and grabbed his T-shirt to bring the boy closer and kiss him, interrupting him. Kurt knew he was falling hard for Sebastian, but every inch of his mind and body wanted to feel close to him right now. So he had little choice.
Sebastian was quite responsive, but it wasn't an aggressive kiss. The boy moved to rest on top of Kurt and Kurt felt like Sebastian was covering him, instead of trapping him, like many other times.
Kurt covered Sebastian's back with his hands, and with every touch he gave Sebastian, Kurt felt like he was giving a little ounce of his energy away.
Sebastian's hands were under Kurt's PJ, warming up his torso with its touch. The boy never went too low, or too high. It felt like Sebastian was simply making contact with him.
And, for quite a while, they did nothing else than that. They simply held each other and kissed. Kurt felt full of life and wished, with everything he had, that Sebastian was feeling the same.
"I'm really glad you came over" Kurt whispered on his neck, while he inhaled and placed little kisses all over it.
Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Me too" the boy conceded, with the less tense tone Kurt had ever heard him. Sebastian sounded so calm, so relaxed, that Kurt wondered if they were both indeed feeling high.
Kurt's thrust his hands under Sebastian's arms and hugged him, placing his head on Sebastian's chest. It was warm and welcoming. Sebastian returned the hug and Kurt felt the other boy's hands on the small of his back. The tips of Sebastian's fingers were slightly touching his waistband.
Kurt's inner voice had gone mute, so he heard no mental warning when he said: "I wanna get to know you better, Bas." It was probably the high talking, but that didn't mean it was untrue. It took Kurt a second to process what he had just said and panic. He hoped he hadn't killed the mood.
"What do you want to know?" Sebastian answered, still calm, which lifted a weight from Kurt's lungs.
"I don't know" Kurt admitted, slowly peeking out his head from Sebastian's chest. "The simple things" Kurt thought out loud, "who's your best friend, what annoys you… I don't even know if you have any brothers, I think."
"I don't" Sebastian replied, now playing with Kurt's waistband. But it wasn't in a suggestive way. "Only child" he continued.
Kurt nodded. "Me too."
Thankfully, Sebastian didn't ignore the rest of his questions. "My best friend lives in France. Anton – he's called. And I see him once or twice a year."
Kurt couldn't help but feel bad for them. It had to be hard not having your best friend around. He hoped Sebastian had some other good friends who lived closer.
"And I guess intolerance annoys me. Disrespect. That sort of things" Sebastian said casually, looking right at Kurt. "What about you? Is Berry your best friend?"
Kurt felt incredibly surprised by how not awkward this was feeling. He smiled. "I think so" he nodded, "Blaine too, but… we've been distant lately – for obvious reasons" he chuckled nervously.
"You'll fix it eventually" Sebastian said, to Kurt's surprise. "You guys probably just need to meet, and sing about it, and then-" Kurt punched him on the ribs playfully. Sebastian laughed.
"Idiot" Kurt said, but he found himself also giggling. He observed Sebastian for a few seconds, who looked sort of… joyful. "Can I ask you something?"
"You don't have to ask permission" Sebastian said, giving him a small smile.
"Right" Kurt felt slightly embarrassed. "But this might be a weird question, and I really don't know why I'm asking it-"
"Just ask, Kurt" Sebastian said, grabbing his hands playfully, before Kurt could cover his face with them.
"Okay" Kurt bit his lip. "So… what did you like about Blaine?"
Sebastian gave him an actual surprised look. There, Kurt thought. First time I see you surprised.
"It is a weird question" Sebastian admitted, scratching his chin. "Is there a catch?"
Kurt snorted, amused. "Not really. I was just… curious, I guess" Kurt said, and he hoped that was good enough, because he really didn't know where that question was coming from.
Sebastian looked away, thoughtfully. "I mean… besides the fact that he's hot, right?" he asked Kurt, and Kurt rolled his eyes at him.
"I was assuming you found him attractive, yes" Kurt said, containing a smile.
But Sebastian grinned cheekily and Kurt couldn't help but grinning briefly too. "The talent, then" Sebastian said, determined. "Talent is a huge turn-on for me."
Kurt smiled at Sebastian's straightforwardness, then considered it. "Yeah, he's really talented."
"I didn't pay much attention to anything else, really" Sebastian shrugged. "I just found him talented and hot."
Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "But you- liked him, didn't you?" Kurt asked, confused.
Sebastian shrugged again, chuckling this time. "I had like three coffees with the guy, Kurt. And I don't even remember what we talked about in any of them" Sebastian explained, smiling cheekily.
Kurt's jaw threatened to fall open with disbelief, but he regained himself fast enough. "Really? Wow" Kurt said, shocked. "I mean – he claimed you were a nice guy once he got to know you" Kurt shook his head, disappointedly. Blaine could be too innocent.
"Oh" Sebastian made, surprised again. "How nice of him" he joked, "but I don't think we got to know each other. Plus, I was kind of a jerk to him too" he admitted.
"Yeah, don't swear" Kurt said, remembering the slushie incident.
"I mean I really was a jerk to him – in general" Sebastian explained, and he even looked amused, "I made it very obvious that I was flirting with him, even though I knew you existed and all" he chuckled, "really, how is that being a nice guy?"
"You find it really amusing, don't you?" Kurt asked him, more surprised than upset. Sebastian had no problem claiming to be a cheap ass or a jerk, and it didn't cease to unsettle Kurt.
Sebastian bit Kurt's nose. "Don't be mad at me" he whispered, still grinning. "We're knowing each other now, remember?"
"Well at least I know you remember what I talk about" Kurt said sarcastically, but smiled back at him.
Sebastian nodded, cockily. "You can't complain, huh – I paid a lot more attention to you, gayface" he bit Kurt's nose again.
This time Kurt shivered. "Paid?" He casted Sebastian a confused look, noticing the past tense.
The boy nodded again. "Yep, you laughed at my teeth – that was not nice" Sebastian protested, pretending to be somewhat hurt. Kurt thought he had never seen Sebastian as playful as he was acting now.
Kurt contained a laughter. "Oh, did I hurt your feelings?" he asked, pretending to be concerned.
Sebastian rubbed his nose against Kurt's neck to make way for his mouth. He nibbled the spot. "You did, and I think you like my teeth now, don't you?" he asked, and continued nibbling Kurt's neck.
Kurt contained a moan, and nodded instead. "Yeah" he breathed out, and put his arms around Sebastian. "There's not an inch of you I'd mock now" he bluntly admitted, surprising himself.
Sebastian dug out his head from Kurt's neck and stared at him for a few seconds. "There's not?" he asked, seriously.
Kurt damned himself. Could I be any cheesier? But it was too late to take it back. He smiled awkwardly at Sebastian, then bit his lip.
Sebastian smiled tentatively, then placed a kiss on Kurt's chest. "That's… sweet", he rested his chin there, and kept looking right at Kurt's eyes.
Kurt sighed. "That was cheesy. You can say it" he joked.
Sebastian chuckled. "Nah. Cheesy would be asking me what I like about you. So you're good" he joked.
What I like about you echoed in Kurt's head. I like, present tense. Why he was surprised, he didn't know. It was obvious Sebastian had to like him. So why did his stomach feel so funny?
"And narcissistic" Kurt added, playing along.
They fell in a pleasant silence, during which Sebastian moved to lay beside him, instead of on top of him. The boy rescued his cell phone from his pocket.
"I think I should get going" Sebastian said, after a few minutes.
Kurt turned his head to look at him. "Why?" he asked, taken aback.
Sebastian showed him the hour. "It's late" he shrugged.
Kurt didn't know what to say. "Oh". Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "I just thought you'd sleep here" Kurt smiled nervously.
Sebastian folded his arm on the bed for balance. He scratched his head with the other hand, thoughtfully. "Do you want me to?" he asked, somewhat insecurely.
Kurt smiled at him with curiosity. "Yes?" he asked rhetorically, surprised. It wasn't the first time they slept together. What was that about?
Sebastian chuckled. "Don't look at me like that. It's your lazy night, I thought you might wanna sleep alone" he explained, "you know? Maybe wait until I'm gone to gossip about me with Rachel – that sort of cheesy things you like to do" he joked.
Kurt sat on the bed and punched his arm. Then he put the blanket aside, preparing himself to get up. "I'll give you something more comfortable to sleep with."
"Don't bother" Sebastian cut him "You know I sleep in my underwear" the boy simply said, starting to undress himself. Kurt couldn't help but observed him. Sebastian stopped. "Oh, you wanna do it?" he asked suggestively, approaching Kurt.
Kurt rolled his eyes. Then thought it better. "Yes" came out of his mouth, and before he could regret it, Kurt grabbed Sebastian's shirt and pull it off, gaining a smirk from the boy.
Then he opened Sebastian's jeans button and pulled down the zipper. Once he got there, he felt stuck. He raised his eyes to meet Sebastian's and saw the boy observing his hands, while biting his lip. Kurt blushed, but grabbed Sebastian's jeans and put them all the way down.
Then, without previous notice, Sebastian put his hands under Kurt's shirt and caressed the skin all the way up, dragging the shirt with the movement. It felt incredibly intimate. They locked eyes then. Without leaving Kurt's eyes, Sebastian pulled down his trousers.
They got under the covers, so silently that all they could hear were each other's unsteady breaths. Kurt felt weirdly compelled to kiss Sebastian's shoulder… so he leaned in and kissed the spot, his lips lingering there a few seconds. Then he rested his hand there, feeling the skin.
Suddenly, Sebastian sighed noticeably, and Kurt couldn't avoid getting a little tense, worried he might have done something wrong.
"You have a very intense way of looking at me, you know that?" Sebastian said while raising a hand to feel Kurt's cheek.
No way, Kurt thought. "It's you who has an intense stare" Kurt defended himself. "I just try to keep up" he joked.
"I assure you" Sebastian said confidently, his hand now reaching Kurt's neck, "I've never been looked like that. I'd remember" he whispered the last part, and they were observing each other's eyes so closely that Kurt felt both eager to melt with him and to hide.
"Neither have I" Kurt whispered too, hoping it sounded sincere.
Sebastian came closer and held him tight, feeling every inch of Kurt's neck with his mouth. Kurt could have not put into words how that hold felt even if he had wanted to. It wasn't the first time Sebastian was touching him and yet, somehow, that's how it felt.
"Kurt" Sebastian whispered, somewhat pliantly, "let me have you." He kept kissing Kurt with haste.
Kurt returned the hold and the kisses just as dedicatedly, and nodded unconsciously. "You can" he whispered, "why are you asking me?" Kurt smiled, looking at him.
Sebastian captured Kurt's lips with his own hastily, urgently, and it felt rushed, even. Suddenly Kurt realised it didn't feel like they were kissing and touching for the first time, but for the last one. He broke the kiss, worried. Something felt odd. "Now it's me who feels like this is the last I'm seeing of you. But it's not, is it?" he had to ask.
Sebastian's touch felt so eager that it was scaring him. The thrill of the last time, Sebastian had explained Kurt only last night, though it felt like a while ago.
Sebastian rested his forehead against Kurt's neck, breathing with difficulty. The boy froze, stopping his touch and his kisses. Kurt felt Sebastian's body going rigid over him. It no longer felt like he was covering Kurt.
"It's not" Sebastian said against Kurt's skin. But Kurt couldn't see his face, and somehow it didn't sound honest to him. He started feeling uneasy.
"I don't believe you" Kurt said, trying not to panic. "It's just- that you feel somewhat anxious, I don't know" Kurt struggled to explain, and brought his hands to Sebastian's back, caressing the place to calm him. Something told him he needed to calm Sebastian.
Sebastian said nothing, and continued hidden on Kurt's neck, rigid. Kurt didn't know what to do, other than to hold him and wait until the boy felt better.
A few minutes passed and Kurt kept stroking Sebastian's back and hair. He even kissed the top of Sebastian's head, reassuringly, although he was probably quite freaked out too. Sebastian was always so firm, so collected, that it was shocking to see him that… vulnerable. Like earlier that morning, when Kurt watched him sleep.
Slowly, Sebastian's weight started feeling more comfortable and lighter over Kurt. Sebastian's muscles got looser and his body temperature felt warmer again. Kurt kept holding him, though.
"You're feeling better?" Kurt asked eventually with a quiet tone. It wouldn't surprise him if Sebastian had fallen asleep.
Sebastian unburied his head from Kurt's chest gradually, until it was completely out and the boy was finally looking at him again. Kurt gave him a tentative smile.
"I don't know what happened to me" Sebastian said, after a few seconds. "I'm sorry, I-" the boy stopped, visibly stuck, and Kurt took the chance to interrupt him.
"Oh, don't apologise" Kurt assured him, "really… it's okay" he smiled again, awkwardly this time.
Sebastian snorted, slowly regaining himself. "No, it's not" he said, rubbing his eyes, and he sounded somewhat annoyed. "I was about to fuck you and leave, Kurt" he stated, staring right at Kurt now, with a dark, sad expression. "I really don't know what happened" he said again, more frustrated this time. "I got overwhelmed, somehow" the boy admitted, and Kurt could tell he was struggling with his words and emotions. "It was confusing."
Kurt felt overwhelmed too. He wished he could say 'I know what you mean' or something equally comforting. But he really didn't know what Sebastian meant. He just knew Sebastian looked like an emotional turmoil had just shaken him up fiercely. What kind of emotions, though, he couldn't say. And he doubted Sebastian could.
But Sebastian's words did not count for nothing. Nor did his actions. Kurt was feeling shaken up too.
"What was it?" Kurt couldn't help but asked him. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, what was confusing?" he repeated, insecurely. "Did I- make you feel uncomfortable, somehow?" the words came out slowly, encouraged by his doubts.
"What-? No!" Sebastian assured him, looking surprised. He finally recovered himself enough to touch Kurt again. It was just his cheek, but it put everything at ease for Kurt. "Of course not, Kurt. I feel great with you" Sebastian stated, having his fierce honesty back. But maybe that was way too honest, because both Kurt and he widened his eyes a little at those words.
Kurt wanted to say something. To break the tension. Now. But his mind went blank and all he could manage was a nervous, awkward smile. Sebastian looked away, visibly uncomfortable, and Kurt realised he was just being stupid. The boy had just opened up to him and he was reacting like it was awkward. That was not right. So Kurt literally forced himself to behave better.
"I feel great with you too" Kurt whispered back, before he could change his mind. "And, you know what? Whenever I've got confused, you've been helpful and kind to me" Kurt continued, more confidently, "and I think I might know why it got confusing for you now" he said, his mind suddenly buzzing with a weird thought.
Sebastian casted him an intrigued look and smiled. "Why?" he asked.
Kurt bit his lip, gathering some courage. "Sometimes I get the feeling that- you might- not- be really used to receive…" he gulped, fearing he was going too far, "kindness."
Sebastian looked puzzled; amused, but puzzled. "Why would you think that?" he asked.
Kurt felt somewhat discouraged, but carried on anyway. "I've seen it" he simply said. Sebastian's smile fell, and he just looked attentively at Kurt now. "When I say you're not a cheap ass, or a jerk. When I defend you, mostly" Kurt chuckled, nervously. "You give me the same look you're giving me right now, of incredulity" he moved his hand slowly, needing to make contact with Sebastian again, "and I just figured… maybe if I behaved bitchier with you, like I used to" Kurt made a face, remembering their sharp exchanges with amusement, "then it might feel more normal for you. Less confusing. But I'm sweeter now" he added, joking, "what can I do?"
Sebastian simply observed him, thoughtfully. "You are" he said, after a few seconds. "You can pull it off, though… somehow" he joked, clearly eager to change the subject. Kurt couldn't blame him. Things had gotten incredibly personal all of a sudden.
They both chuckled quietly, too aware of everything. Sebastian was still on top of him, but now it didn't feel just natural, because he was not touching Kurt. And it felt awful, Kurt discovered, having Sebastian around him but being deprived of his touchiness.
"Hey" Kurt said, taking a hold on Sebastian's shoulder, "if I'd ask you to do something – could you just- do it? No questions asked?" Kurt asked him, hit by a desperate resolution.
Sebastian nodded. "Seems fair" he said, and Kurt rolled his eyes at him for what those words implied: that Sebastian had to make it up to him for his freaked-out moment.
"Kiss me a little?" Kurt asked him timidly, giving him a side smile. "Touch me – innocently" Kurt emphasised, seeing the smirk that had graced Sebastian's lips, "until we fall asleep? I'm kind of tired, aren't you?"
Sebastian gave him a knowing smile and rolled his eyes. "Okay – but don't get too used to this" he said playfully, liberating Kurt from his weight and lying beside him now, to cuddle him from behind. Sebastian started placing little kisses all over Kurt's neck and cheek, more sensually than Kurt had asked, but he wouldn't complain now. He had Sebastian covering him again and that was all that mattered.