As usual, thanks for reading/reviewing :) really, it helps a lot, and cheers me up too!
Now... this chapter might be some sort of interlude - but the story needed it. I hope you enjoy it, anyway!
P.s. I'm afraid I don't own glee.
"So… how you've been?" Kurt asked Blaine, once they were given a table at their diner.
Kurt had been the one to ask Blaine out on a 'friendly' date. It'd been more than a month since their last meeting, in the same place. This time, though, the situation was way less tense, thankfully. And it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other since then. The gang still had their sacred Monday dinners.
But they hadn't really talked to each other. So, in a way, this was still awkward. Plus, Kurt intended to tell Blaine about Sebastian before the boy heard from someone else. Kurt figured since the bomb was out already, it was only a matter of time before Blaine heard about it.
"Good, I guess" Blaine replied, giving Kurt a small smile. "Can't wait to go back to Ohio, though. I'm really looking forward to spend the summer at home, you know? I've missed it" Blaine commented, while eyeing the menu.
Kurt observed him and ignored the menu. He was quite sure they both would order the same high-fat yummy pasta they always ordered. "I get it" he said, thinking about his dad. "I miss it too but… I've been thinking about it, and I might spend the summer here."
Blaine put down the menu and gave him a surprised look. "Really? What about your dad? And Carole?" he asked, and it was an understandable reply. Kurt feared his decision was selfish, but right now he just wasn't feeling it. There was not an inner part of him telling him to go back home. He needed to stay.
"I'm hoping they'll be understanding…" Kurt smiled awkwardly. "I really don't feel like going home right now. I applied for some summer internships on Vogue and other fashion magazines and… well, I'm just waiting for them to get back at me. I think that's what I need now" he explained Blaine, who smiled with dreamy eyes at him, making Kurt's stomach twirl. Kurt smiled back at him.
"I think that's great" Blaine encouraged him. "If that's what you need, then you should do just that" he told Kurt.
Kurt couldn't help but holding Blaine's hand, on the table. "I've missed talking to you, Blaine" Kurt let slip. After all, it was like meeting an old friend.
Blaine squeezed his hand back. "Me too."
/
"It was hilarious!" Kurt exclaimed, laughing hard. "I can see that now, though" he conceded. They were taking a path down memory lane and Rachel Berry's fugitive fling could not be overlooked.
"Oh, shut up!" Blaine shouted, covering his face. "It was just weird – I can see that now!" he laughed. "Not that she was a bad kisser…" Blaine said jokingly. "Speaking of weird crushes, I ran into Sebastian the other day" Blaine said, all of a sudden.
Well, maybe not that all of a sudden, but Kurt froze anyway. All his muscles tensed up and he had to remember himself to keep breathing.
Kurt giggled, nervously. "Did you?" he asked rhetorically, wondering how or when that happened. And, above all, if Sebastian was kind enough not to say anything about them.
"I did. And he acted so strangely" Blaine made a face. "I don't know. I had never seen him that nervous" Blaine chuckled, taking a sip from his glass of wine.
Kurt bit his lip hard and felt his stomach making twirls again. Repeatedly. He even felt nauseous.
"Hey, are you okay?" Blaine asked him, visibly concerned. "You suddenly got all pale, Kurt" the boy continued, examining their plates of foods. "You think it was the food?" he asked, making a disgusted face. "I mean, it's not the most luxury place ever, but it never gave us food poisoning-"
"It's not the food" Kurt cut him, unable to bottle it up any longer. If he didn't tell Blaine right this moment, he wouldn't be able to keep it together anymore. "It's Sebastian" Kurt started. Blaine casted him a confused yet amused look. "Oh God" Kurt breathed out, trying hardly not to hyperventilate. He grabbed the table and took a deep breath. "We- kind of… have something- going on" it was the most accurate way to put it. What the hell did they exactly have? What were they? This was not the time to panic over those questions.
Blaine widened his eyes in shock. Two seconds later, it was now him the one who looked pale.
"Oh God" Kurt repeated, observing Blaine, who seemed to be frozen. The boy didn't even blink. His mouth was slightly open and his hand still held a glass of wine in the air. "Blaine?" Kurt asked, snapping his fingers discretely to put the boy out of the trance. He put the glass down, just in case.
Finally, Blaine breathed out loudly, like his body had suddenly remembered it needed oxygen. "What does that even mean?" he asked, looking at Kurt, full of confusion and something that looked incredibly similar to disdain.
Kurt gulped. "It means we… became friends like… two months ago. I mean, he kept visiting his grandma at Lexington and I- I don't even know how it happened, but… I just wanted you to hear it from me. It's nothing serious, though" Kurt rushed to add. That was all Blaine needed to know. And, judging by his reaction, it was enough.
"Nothing serious?" Blaine asked rhetorically, then covered his eyes with his hand and rubbed 'em. "Oh my God, Kurt…" his tone was full of reluctance, "why? How could you fall for that?" he asked then, directly, staring right at him.
This was, by far, the most judging reaction Kurt had been given till date. Maybe it was only fair that it was Blaine's. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, unable to hide his hurt. "Fall for what, exactly?"
Blaine didn't even acknowledge his question. "I mean, I get that you probably got lonely. So did I. But Sebastian? Really? It's not even about how there's history there, and how he hurt both of us, but about the fact that you took the easy, cheap way to get over us, and it's not right, Kurt" Blaine said harshly. "What were you even thinking?"
Kurt went mute. He was busy trying to process all those hurtful words. A tear fell over his cheek, making him feel wet and hopeless. Goddammit, not now. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stare right at Blaine.
"You don't know him. Nothing about him, or about what we have, is easy, or cheap. You shouldn't judge what you don't know, Blaine. It's cruel" he ranted, somewhat frantically.
"Cruel?" Blaine asked, sarcastically. "How come you're the victim here? Don't make me state the obvious, for Christ's sake. I was merely talking about the path you're taking to get over us – don't even get me started on the means" he said, rolling his eyes.
Kurt shook his head with disbelief. Every word he heard it was incredibly more hurtful than the word before. How longer could he take it?
"I know this must be hurtful for you" Kurt admitted, being this the only department where he'd give in. "And I'm sorry for that. But I'm here, telling you this, and I'm not dismissing my responsibilities" he stated out loud fiercely, clenching his fists. "I didn't get with him to get over you. It just happened. And that's all I have to say to you." He stood up, gathering his things and leaving some bills on the table.
Blaine observed him perplexed for a few seconds, then stood up too and went after him.
Kurt exited the diner but couldn't take any step further without confronting Blaine again.
"I can't do this right now, Blaine" Kurt said, his cheek wet again. He really needed to get out of there as soon as possible.
"Kurt!" Blaine grabbed his arm, forcing Kurt to look at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I really didn't, but I feel hurt too!" he added, honestly.
Kurt rubbed his eyes, trying to contain his tears. He sighed. "I just told you that I'm sorry for that. There's nothing else I can do" Kurt explained, desperately.
Blaine let go of his arm then, looking away with a sad expression. "You keep saying that. You're just sorry for me, but not for what you're doing" he said slowly, reaching that conclusion simultaneously.
Kurt trembled. That seemed uncomplicated to him. But judging by how Blaine had talked about 'the means', it sure had to be complicated for him.
"Blaine… you used to claim he was a good guy deep down inside. I've gotten to know him better – and you were right." Okay, so maybe that was not the best idea: using Blaine's words against him. But Kurt was also appealing to Blaine's good, fair judgement. If he once thought that way, he should be able to do it again.
Blaine frowned, visibly upset. "That was before the slushie incident. Don't play like that, Kurt."
Kurt sighed. "Okay. But that doesn't make it any less true. I believe he's a nice guy, and I forgave him for what he did to us" he stated.
Blaine looked shocked again. "Do you actually like him?" he asked, making a disapproving face.
"That was unnecessary" Kurt whispered, hurt by the look Blaine was giving him. "And yes. That's what I'm trying to say. I do" Kurt said, but he had no more energy left on him to keep arguing and sticking to what he felt. So he ended up looking at his feet, hiding from Blaine's judging eyes.
"Wow" Blaine gasped, with irony.
Kurt eyed him, full of hurt. He turned around and left.
/
Kurt would like to say that the encounter with Blaine did not affect the way he felt about Sebastian. And it didn't. But it surely undermined the way he felt about himself, therefore undermining all his emotions.
As soon as he left the diner, and Blaine, he started feeling all the heartbreak he'd been unable to feel since they broke up. Suddenly he realised things had been going way too well and he'd been way too naïve. He had fallen for the illusion that he, Kurt Hummel, could for once feel good about himself. And yes, those were negative, ridicule thoughts. But his brain seemed unable to stop producing them.
"Get this, lady – if you don't show up today, Gunther will fire you" Santana shouted at him one morning, while Kurt laid on his bed hidden under the covers. "And for God's sake, Hummel – it's summer already, throw that duvet away!" the girl screamed, exasperated.
Kurt made a grumpy noise and snuggled up further. "I don't care" he breathed out, and turned around to carry on sleeping.
Then he felt incredibly cold as two hands pull the duvet away. "I'm taking this with me where you can never find it again" Santana informed him, and she left his room.
Kurt felt annoyed, but he was too tired to even complain, not to speak about getting up and stopping Santana from throwing his wonderful duvet away. He simply got under the sheets.
"Unbelievable" the girl said, sighing. Then she approached the bed again and this time she took Kurt's creepy pillow with her. "You don't even deserve Bruce anymore."
That made Kurt react. "Oh, don't you dare taking Bruce away from me. He's all I have left" Kurt mumbled, getting up and willing to fight Santana.
"What about slutty Smythe?" she asked, maliciously, and threw 'Bruce' into the living room. Kurt eyed her with resentment and went after his pillow.
"Look, you're up now" she said, faking to be surprised. "See, now you just have to shower and go make sure you don't lose the job I got you" she added, harshly.
"I hate that job" Kurt argued, tiredly, "I couldn't care less about that job" he bit back, while taking back his pillow.
"Oh, excuse me, Mr. I'm-too-good-for-that-shit – it's way much cooler to keep asking your dad for money – I forgot" Santana told him, and the girl looked like she was about to lose her patience.
Kurt looked at her for a brief moment. Then at 'Bruce'. Then he decided to pick it up and throw it at her. Then he got into the bathroom.
/
"What about slutty Smythe?"
Kurt had been ignoring him – that was what. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Sebastian, it was that he didn't want to see anybody, mostly. But, of course, it also had to be with the fact that people seemed to have assumed that the only reason he was 'seeing' Sebastian was because it was an 'easy, cheap' way to get over Blaine.
That was not how Kurt felt, not really. But he had started to doubt his feelings, and that was not good. He feared everything had happened a little too soon and a little too fast. Not that Sebastian and he were officially a 'thing'. But it felt fast anyway.
Later that afternoon, when he got home from the diner, Kurt found an unusually cheery Rachel working out in the living room. Unusually, because ever since her Funny-Girl-screwed-up, she had been flying low. But now she was singing and dancing to the TV, doing a very complicated routine.
Kurt sat down on the couch and observed her, tiredly. "Where did you get all that energy from?"
Rachel smiled brightly at him. "You went to work today!" she exclaimed, taking in Kurt's outfit. "Good for you" she gasped, trying to keep up with her exercises.
Kurt 'mmh' her, then laid down. Rachel pressed 'pause' on her video. "No, hey, no, Kurt – you've made such an effort! Don't lay down again!" she grabbed Kurt's arms and got a very reluctant Kurt up. "Come on, let's have dinner and talk about it" she encouraged him.
Kurt made a face. "Talk about it? Oh no, dear. I'm not in the mood" he said, going into his room.
"But you're never in the mood!" Rachel protested, following him. "Really, how can I help you get back to your awesomeness If you don't even talk to me!" she pouted.
Kurt changed into his PJs, ignoring her. "There's no point in talking about it. None of you support what I've done, anyway, so…" he mumbled.
"Hey, that's not fair" Rachel said, folding her arms in front of him. "I encouraged you to call Sebastian that night. And I made no commentaries, nor did I complain when you had him over last week. I'd say that looks a lot like support" she protested, more seriously now.
"Oh, come on, Rachel. You've been biting your tongue and I appreciated it. But I don't care anymore, so you can't give it a rest" he said bitterly, walking right by her.
Rachel followed him to the kitchen, raging. "Excuse me?!" she screamed. "Kurt, do you honestly think I'd bite my tongue and let you do something I consider dangerous or stupid? If you think that, you're delusional" she said, gesturing dramatically.
Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, somewhat surprised. "You didn't think what I was doing was stupid?" he asked her, staring right at her to study her expressions. He'd know if Rachel was lying to him.
"Why, Kurt? Why would I think that? You looked… happy" she explained, struggling with her choice of words.
Kurt's defences fell off. He sat on a stall. "I did feel somewhat happy, although it was brief" he admitted, sighing.
Rachel approached him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You know what we should do?" she asked him, with exciting eyes.
Kurt eyed her suspiciously. "Don't say 'girls night out', please" he begged her.
"No, silly" she giggled. "It's Wednesday" she argued, and Kurt 'oh' her – he really needed to wake up from his funky state. "We should do Margaritas, right?" she suggested, like it was the most obvious thing to do right now.
Kurt rolled his eyes at her but got up and gathered the ingredients. He could use a drink.
/
Three Margaritas later…
"… and I didn't plan on it, I swear to God! You know how much I used to disdain Sebastian, don't you?" Kurt asked her, needing some confirmation and reassurance. "I mean, come on! Do people think that was easy? Let me tell you: I have no idea how it happened, but it wasn't easy. I struggled. I still struggle. Being around Sebastian, Rach… is a constant struggle" he confessed, grabbing Rachel's hand tightly and staring at her. A deep, tired sigh followed that. Kurt felt exhausted.
"Why? What do you struggle about?" Rachel asked, giving him the look she used to give the TV when she was seriously hooked up on a TV show.
"Oh, everything" Kurt sighed again, taking a long sip from his cup. "First it was how much he annoyed me, you know? He's always messing with me, trying to irritate me… and it reminded me of his old self. But then… I kind of started to like it" he made a cheeky, amused face. "Oh, I started liking our verbal fights a little too much, Rach – because there's a very thin line between harshness and flirting, I'm telling you!" he said animatedly. Oh, and he haven't felt this animated in a while. "And he said some smart stuff. Really – some very smart stuff. And it got me thinking: 'hey, maybe I didn't know him that well'. I thought I did, I was determined to judge him forever for what he did to us on high school… and the minute I stopped judging him, he became a real person in front of my eyes" Ups, I'm drinking too much, Kurt thought, hearing himself. "God-… -dammit, and that's the other reason I'm struggling. My damn, annoying, irritating cheesiness. I'm so emotional" he lamented, laying down on the couch.
Rachel grabbed hers and Kurt's cup and got up. "I'm doing another round" she informed him.
"Oh my God, Rachel, don't! I've drunk enough!" Kurt giggled.
"Listen to me, Kurt Hummel! This" she pointed to the big, pink jar were she was fixing the drinks, "this is why you're talking to me. Communicating with me. And you've been so incommunicative lately! You didn't even give me, or anyone, the chance to listen to you!"
"Oh, Rach, how could I? If I was so fast to judge Sebastian, how could you not? It was pointless" Kurt simply said, trying to sit himself straight. Laying down had not been a good idea – his belly was complaining now.
"Well, as you can see now – it is not" she said proudly. "I've been perfectly able to understand you, haven't I? And you know who's giving you the hardest time with this whole thing, right?" she asked him.
Kurt shrugged. "Blaine?" he asked, tentatively.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Okay, he wasn't exactly understanding when you told him – but you can't blame him" she stated, pointing an accusing spoon to him. "I was gonna say 'you'. No one is judging you more than yourself. Not even Blaine."
"Oh, I was perfectly okay until I filled all of you in – big mistake, by the way" he snorted.
"No, you weren't" she pointed out. "You even told me you were screwed, Kurt – come on" she said, going back to the couch with two full cups.
"At least I didn't doubt the authenticity of what I was feeling" Kurt breathed out, after taking a sip. "Now, I don't even know" he admitted.
"That's bullshit" Rachel said, straightforward. Kurt looked at her at awe.
"Rachel Barbra Berry, did you just course?" he asked, amused.
"I did – big deal" she said giggling.
Suddenly they heard a crack on the door and Santana peeked her head into the apartment. She locked eyes with them and made a face. "Dear Lord, don't you ever leave the apartment?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
Kurt and Rachel looked at each other and started laughing stupidly.
Santana entered the apartment, followed by a visibly drunk Brittany. "Hey, guys!" she said, cheerily.
"Brittany!" both Rachel and Kurt screamed, brightly. "Come sit with us!"
"I can't. Santana says if I sit down, I'll fall asleep and someone will try to steal me" the blond girl commented with a sad tone. Kurt and Rachel shared a confused look, but shrugged.
"Come on, Brit, let's get you a yummy glass of water" Santana said, dragging her to the kitchen table.
"Oh, I want some of what's inside this yummy jar" Brittany said, her face almost entirely inside the pink jar.
"What's that?" Santana asked, eyeing her roommates suspiciously. "Is that… are you guys drinking?" she asked, shocked. "Without me?" she added then, angrily.
Kurt and Rachel gulped down, somewhat scared. A pissed off Santana was a lot to deal with. "We did some… Margaritas" Rachel added, tentatively.
"You guys did Mexican drinks without Santana? That's kind of racist" Brittany said, telling them off.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Santana. Just pour yourself a cup and join us" he said, animatedly.
"Yeah, and we could play 'spin the bottle'!" Brittany suggested, capturing Santana waist with her hands.
"Oh, Brit – we don't have to play that to kiss each other" Santana told her, giving her girlfriend a sweet peck on the lips.
"Booooo, we're not in the mood for love tonight!" Rachel told them, throwing them a pillow.
"No – you have decided you're not in the mood for love anymore, Berry" Santana bit back somewhat harshly. But Rachel took a sip and let it be. Kurt looked at her surprised. That had been kind of mean.
"Santana – not now" he said, making a face. "Let's have some liquid fun tonight!" he added excitedly, suddenly feeling in the mood for a little home party.
"Fine, ladies" Santana sighed, amused. "But help me keep an eye on Brittany. Don't let her drink anything else" she said, grabbing her girlfriend's arm to stop her from falling down.
/
One hour and a half later, Brittany was placidly sleeping in the couch, while the other three had decided to make their own karaoke-Margaritas party.
"Crap" Rachel shouted from the kitchen. "We're running out of Tequila!" she cried.
"No!" Kurt cried along, dramatically. "That's so not cool" he pouted to Santana.
"What do you expect me to do, Hummel?" she winced at him. "I'm not your girlfriend, God help me" she joked.
Kurt slapped her arm. "I expect you to work your Snixxy magic and make some Tequila magically appear" he bubbled, clumsily.
Santana laughed anyway. "Okay, okay – let me see what I can do…" she said, taking out her cell phone, then she eyed Rachel for a second. "Huh" she made, distractedly. "Two birds with one stone…" she whispered.
"Mmh?" Kurt made, not following her.
Santana grinned at him, pleased with herself. "I'm gonna call Sam – I'll tell him to come by and bring some more liquid magic fun" she said out loud, getting up distractedly but eyeing Rachel.
Rachel made eye contact with her momentarily but nervously looked away, making herself busy with some plates in the kitchen.
"What was that about?" Kurt asked Santana, narrowing his eyes at her.
"I know what I'm doing, Hummel" she grinned maliciously. "Let's help Berry out" she whispered.
Kurt casted her a confused face and followed her to her bedroom. "This is Sam Evans we're talking about," Kurt said, perplexed "is it not?"
Santana nodded, and started typing on her cell phone. "That's right. Those two have had some tension going on for quite a while, actually" she told him.
"Oh, dear" Kurt sighed, desperate. Santana raised an eyebrow at him. "You've definitely lost your mind. I knew the day was coming, but oh, you're still so young!" he joked.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you haven't seen it, Kurt" she protested.
Kurt made a doubting face. "I gue- Gee, I don't know!" he sighed, sitting down on the bed. "I mean, he was dating Mercedes until, what? Last week?" he said, feeling bad for his friend. Had Santana conveniently forgotten Mercedes?
"Okay – you know I respect Mercedes. But I don't see that going anywhere, to be honest. Besides, all I'm doing here is… creating some opportunities, that's all" she said casually, getting up. "Something both Berry and Sam are too scared to do. But I've seen how they look at each other, come on! You can't fool auntie Snixx" the girl said, exiting the room.
"So, Sam is coming over" she announced to Rachel, who was now sitting on the couch and fixing Brittany's hair, who had just woken up again.
Rachel nodded, way too neutrally to be true. Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, realising now, for the first time, that every time someone talked about Sam, the girl put on her 'poker face'.
"Now" Santana said, pleased with Rachel's reaction, "where were we?" she asked rhetorically, scratching her chin. "Oh, yes" she eyed Kurt now. Kurt gulped. Dammit, of course it was his turn now. He should have seen this one coming. "Where's slutty Smythe tonight?" the girl asked.
"Who's that?" Brittany asked, confused.
"Sebastian Warbler Smythe, Brit – you need to catch up" Santana told her, patting her back. "Kurt's new beau" she added.
"Oh, I think he's hot" Brittany told him sweetly. The three of them looked at her surprised. "Good choice, Kurt" Brit congratulated him, and Kurt simply chuckled, feeling a little warmer again. This was the first time someone had reacted nicely to the news.
"Thank you, Brittany" he said brightly.
"Yeah, don't be so happy" Santana cut him, "where is he tonight?" she asked again.
Kurt eyed her, upset. "Why do you care?" he asked back, somewhat harshly.
Rachel squeezed his knee. "Relax, Kurt" the petite girl said, trying to break the tension.
"Listen to Berry, Kurt. I'm just asking you a question. Don't be rude" Santana winked, irritating him further more.
Kurt sighed. "I don't know where he is. Why would I?" he asked, rhetorically. "You know we're not dating" he said, annoyed.
"Why not? Does he gel his hair too? Do they force people in Dalton to gel their hair?" Brittany asked him, her eyes big as the moon.
Kurt contained a laughter. "No, Brittany. They don't" he told her. "We're simply not dating because… because" he said, feeling sort of dumb.
Santana smiled maliciously, getting under his skin. "Okay, stop looking at me like that, Santana. Why don't you just ask me what you want to know and then give me a break?" Kurt ranted, tiredly.
"Fine" the girl said, dropping her cup on the table. "What are you doing, Kurt?" she bluntly asked. Kurt raised an eyebrow at her.
"What do you mean 'what are you doing'?" he asked, confused.
"It's too soon" she explained, exasperated. "And it'd be totally okay if it was just about the sex, because it's never too soon for that, but we all know it's not about that. You like him, and you still have feelings for Blaine. You're falling for Sebastian, and this is not the kind of guy you're used to handle. Not even closely" she ranted.
Kurt widened his eyes a little, taken aback by the honesty of those words. Before the girl started talking, he was quite sure Santana wouldn't say anything remotely logical, but he had guessed wrong. She had spoken up Kurt's mind, somehow.
"I'm just saying… keep some perspective" she added, gentler this time. She grabbed her cup again, which Kurt took as a sign that she had ended her rant.
"Oh… you're finished?" Kurt asked her, perplexed.
Santana narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"
Kurt contained a bitter smile. "Wait, no 'Sebastian is cheap' or 'you're being a slut too'?" Kurt suggested, astonished. "Plus, how do you know what kind of guy is Sebastian?" he further asked.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't give me the 'you don't know him' crap. Hey, I'm not judging him for being a slut. I'm just stating it" she said, placing a hand on her heart, like she was the most honest person in the world. "What? I can be a slut too. I own the word, actually" she said amused. "It's just a word people use to name the things they're too scared to do" the girl said proudly.
Kurt smiled this time, genuinely – finally remembering why he was friends with Santana in the first place.
"And I honestly think you could use some of that. You're too limited by all the cheesy bullshit the hobbit has been feeding you during the last three years" Santana said harshly. "But you have to be careful if you're into him. Sebastian might not get what that cheesy bullshit is about."
"You really think I'm into him?" Kurt asked her expectantly, more interested about that particular aspect than any other thing in her accurate speech.
Santana frowned. "Yes?" she asked, rhetorically.
"But you think I still have some feelings for Blaine" Kurt continued, indirectly asking again.
Santana sighed. "Why do you need me to repeat this?" she asked now, slightly irritated.
"Well, because I'm not so sure about that. I mean – I was. I was really convinced I liked Sebastian. I think I like Sebastian. But then I had dinner with Blaine, and he… undermined everything I feel. And now I'm doubting everything" Kurt explained, frustrated, finishing what had to be his sixth cup.
"How did you feel about Blaine, when you met him the other night?" Rachel asked Kurt.
Kurt turned around to face her, taken aback. "Oh – I hadn't really thought about that" he said honestly, scratching his neck.
"Well. Then I guess what you feel about him can't be too strong anymore" Santana snorted.
Kurt sighed, relieved. That had to be right. All he could think of was whether he had genuine feelings for Sebastian or not. Lately, he hadn't thought about Blaine like that. At all.
Suddenly the door slammed open and Sam appeared, carrying two brown bags. Brittany got up excitedly.
"Sam Evans!" she greeted him, going for a hug.
/
Two hours later, the apartment was strangely crowded. Kurt knew most of the people, but how they had ended up there, he had no clue. He suspected it was Santana's doing. His Margaritas night with Rachel had suddenly become a party. And he was having a great time dancing in his living room.
He was about to take a selfie with a friend from the diner when he realised he didn't have his cell phone with him. He found it on his bed, and as soon as he saw it, he remembered a text message from Sebastian he had ignored two days ago.
It had been just one text. But he had not heard from Sebastian since then. Now that his mind was sort of clearer, Kurt decided that he had to make things right. What if Sebastian thought that Kurt had lost interest? No, Sir, we can't have that, Kurt thought, animatedly. Then he impulsively phoned the other boy. Not even checking the hour.
"Kurt?" Kurt heard from the other extreme of the line. Sebastian's voice sounded kind of… sleepy?
"Hey, Bastian!" Kurt greeted him animatedly. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, but as soon as he exited his room, the noise was too loud to hear anything. "Oh, wait- I can't here you! Wait, I'll go outside" he told Sebastian, "hang on!" Kurt insisted.
He reached the fire escape and sat out there, closing the window behind him. It felt amazing, breathing fresh air.
"Hey" he repeated, after taking a few deep breaths.
"Hey" Sebastian repeated, chuckling.
"God – that was so loud" Kurt said, sighing. "So – were you sleeping?" Kurt asked, a little more conscious this time. Thankfully, his alcohol level on blood had diminished with all the fries he had eaten.
"Well, it's five in the morning, and I have class tomorrow, so… yeah" Sebastian said, amused. But he didn't sound upset, Kurt noted grateful.
"Ups" Kurt made, regretful "sorry for that" he apologised. "We've been drinking for hours. I lost track of time" he confessed, slowly feeling more aware of everything.
"Lucky you" Sebastian told him. "I have a test tomorrow."
"Oh, crap" Kurt breathed out, alarmed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sebastian. You shouldn't have picked up! I'll let you sleep" he ranted, awkwardly.
"Hey, it's okay" the boy said, chuckling lazily. He sounded sleepy indeed. "It's at midday – don't worry" he assured Kurt.
Kurt smiled, relieved. "Oh, thank God" he said, "or Gaga" he added, shaking his head. "Anyway, this won't take long, I promise" he rushed to say. Better make it quick. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to your text the other day, Bas" he said, honestly.
"Kurt, that could wait, don't you think?" Sebastian snorted, amused.
Kurt chuckled too. "No, listen. I was a mess that day and I've continued to be a mess until four hours ago, approximately" he explained, nervously.
"O-kay" Sebastian said, slowly.
"Yeah… and why I was a mess can wait. That'd take long" Kurt added. "So I just- I was gonna invite you to come over, to make it up to you, but… it'll have to wait, right?" he said, chuckling.
"I fear so" Sebastian replied, with a calm, gentle tone. "But I appreciate it" he assured Kurt, and he sounded like he was smiling – this was the kind of thing Kurt could proudly tell.
"Okay, then" Kurt said, forcing his mouth to stop smiling so he could use it to speak instead. "Good luck tomorrow, Bas. And again, I'm sorry I woke you. I just… missed you in here, you know?" he said, all of a sudden. Damn alcohol.
Sebastian's breathing sounded warm. "You're sweet, Kurt" Sebastian said, smiling. Or not, but he sounded nice, so whatever. Kurt smiled too. "You're having fun, then?" the boy asked.
"Yeah" Kurt replied, cheerily. "Just… Margaritas and friends" he giggled. "A good combination."
"Mmh" Sebastian made, with that silken voice of his. "Didn't know you could prepare those things."
"Oh – I am great at making those things" Kurt lied, just to play along. "You definitely have to try 'em."
"Sounds like a plan" Sebastian said warmly. God, his sleepy tone was the most addictive sound Kurt had ever heard. More than his suggestive tone, and that was saying something.
"Definitely" Kurt replied brightly.
They fell in a comfortable silence, and Kurt took the chance to observe the beautiful surroundings.
"It's dawning" Kurt commented, casually. "And the sky is spectacular, by the way" he smiled, "but I should let you sleep."
"Nah" Sebastian said, yawning. "I was gonna get up in an hour, to go over my notes and stuff, so… don't worry" the boy breathed out.
"Oh, you're sure?" Kurt asked, insecurely. "I mean… it's a whole hour" he said, feeling bad for waking Sebastian up.
"Yeah – plus, it's nicer waking up like this" Sebastian added kindly. "So – you could keep talking to me, and make the whole waking-up process… smoother."
Kurt needed two seconds to process that. "O-kay" he said slowly, feeling suddenly very self-aware. "It's stupid, but I don't know what to talk about now" he chuckled, nervously. Giving Sebastian a smooth awakening was a huge responsibility.
Sebastian's breath felt so warm even through the telephone… "You were saying something about a spectacular dawning?"
"Oh" Kurt made, observing the sky again. "It is" he said, cheerily. He made the mental resolution to make his voice sound as pleasant as possible, so he took a deep breath. "I'm sitting in the fire escape, and the views are… incredible, Bas" Kurt started. "You know my neighbourhood sucks, but you can see some skyscrapers in the distance. The city, waking up. Or going to sleep" Kurt chuckled. "A matter of perspective... And the streets are frozen-like. Calmer. It looks so peaceful with this lightning that it doesn't even look like New York" Kurt joked.
"Mmh" Sebastian made, pleasantly. "I'd like to see that" he whispered, "from your fire escape."
"Sounds like a plan" Kurt giggled, feeling kind of silly for repeating Sebastian's words, but also brave. He wanted to make plans with Sebastian. As many as possible.
"Yeah" Sebastian chuckled, after a few seconds – during which Kurt's heart stopped, needless to say. "What else? Tell me why you're there" Sebastian suggested, calmly.
"I guess it's- my favourite spot in the apartment" Kurt said, while he simultaneously pondered it. "It's a good place to relax, and think" he offered. "To be alone. But in a nice way- because you're not actually alone – you know what I mean?"
"I'm not sure, babe" Sebastian said, and that velvet babe sounded just like heaven to Kurt.
"Well, if I turn my head to the left, then I can see Santana dancing in the living room" Kurt chuckled affectionately, observing her. "And if I turn it to the right, or look straight forward, then it looks like I'm sitting here on my own, and there's no one else, so… it's a good balance" Kurt explained.
Kurt heard Sebastian's warm breath again, smiling. "Keep talking" Sebastian said.
Kurt gulped. He couldn't help but feeling awkward – talking nonsense like his fire escape. "Really?" Kurt asked, somewhat unsure.
"Yeah" Sebastian said, sounding slightly more awake. "I like it" he added, encouragingly.
Say no more, Kurt thought, smiling. "Sometimes I come here to read, or draw. It gives you the illusion that you could be somewhere else – and that helps, somehow."
"I didn't know you drew" Sebastian said, making Kurt startle. He hadn't even noticed he had said that. Crap. Thankfully, Sebastian didn't make a big deal of it. "Though I can totally picture you" the boy added.
"Oh, it's not exactly drawings, I mean… it's sketching. Fashion sketching, mostly" he admitted, awkwardly. "… And you can laugh at me now" Kurt chuckled nervously, feeling weirdly timid. He remembered very vividly Sebastian's comments about his clothing' choices.
"Why would I?" Sebastian asked, amused. "To you I'm only nice, gayface. I promise" he added then, like it was the most natural thing to say.
Kurt's whole body felt instantly warmer. "I like that" Kurt let slip. "I mean – not that I don't like you when you're harsh, because I do-" Kurt explained clumsily.
"You like me when I'm harsh?" Sebastian asked, somewhat perplexed, though his morning, sleepy-self state made him sound less shocked.
Kurt run a hand through his hair, nervously. "I do" he confessed. "I've learnt to… appreciate it" he said, then hid his face in his hands, terribly embarrassed. "… and tell me you're awake enough now, please – so I can just shut up" Kurt said, chuckling nervously.
"I won't prolong your suffering" Sebastian joked, pleased with the situation. "Though I was quite enjoying it…" the boy added, lowering his voice.
"Of course you were, idiot" Kurt said playfully.
"Don't be like that, babe" Sebastian argued, with a sultry, provocative tone. "I meant I was enjoying hearing you talk."
"Okay – that's your 'hello I'm awake enough to devour you' voice, so I'd say my work here is done" Kurt joked, chuckling.
"You got me" Sebastian snorted, amused. "Any chance you might be up for working for that voice too?" he teased.
Kurt blushed. "Sebastian!" he protested, feeling aroused. "I'm gonna go to sleep now, bye" Kurt said frantically.
"We'll have to work on your dirty talking eventually" Sebastian joked, "stop fighting it" he chuckled.
"I'm hanging up on you now…" Kurt warned him.
Sebastian sighed. "My blushing gayface… Okay. Thank you for that, anyway" he smiled, warmly. "Have a blast."
"Oh- you're- you're welcome" Kurt replied while digesting that my. "Good luck later."
"Thanks" Sebastian added, his tone calmer again. "See you, Kurt" he added, before hanging up.
/
Kurt took a few minutes for himself before going back into his living room. He felt like all the pain and hurt from the last days was finally healing, replaced by Sebastian's warmth.
Eventually, he came back, and found a much less crowded living room – thankfully, because he was starting to feel tired. Sam was still there, though, and he had one arm around Rachel, whose head rested on the boy's chest. They were both asleep, half way laying on the couch. Kurt observed them for a moment, remembering Santana's words. It certainly looked like they both felt comfortable around each other. He grabbed a blanket and covered them.
Then Kurt politely kicked out some random guys he didn't even know from the kitchen and got into his room. Thankfully, it remained immaculate.