Author's Note: The following chapter contains spoilers for Chapter 1 of the Jedi Knight class story of Star Wars: The Old Republic.
Despite the gravity of recent events, Kira had never been happier. She was no longer a Padawan or a Child of the Emperor, and best of all, she now had notes on Ghereth for which Do'lenn had no comparison. She was even flirting effectively. Her confidence was through the roof. Everything was coming up Carsen. But then she thought of Master Orgus and a durasteel fist closed itself around her heart.
Kira could tell that Ghereth was devastated. He was trying his best to be his usually steadfast self in the face of it all, but he was clearly shuddering under the weight. It was as if he couldn't understand that he didn't have to bear it alone anymore.
He functioned well enough on adrenaline. After they escaped Darth Angral's ship, the chemistry between them finally cooked off in the most satisfying way possible. But once things calmed down, he scurried around like a womp rat, avoiding contact with anyone. Now they were bound for Balmorra. Another war.
Kira was almost surprised to find him in his quarters aboard the Defender. He was really only there when he did that weird half-meditation thing that Miraluka have to do instead of sleep. He sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. He looked small and frail, not at all like the Ghereth she had so recently embraced. His shoulders visibly shuddered, but no sobs escaped his lips. He was still trying to be strong, even when he was alone.
Kira silently crossed the room and sat next to him. She placed a soothing palm on his back. Ghereth jerked, as if he didn't notice her coming. "Kira, I…" he spluttered. He sucked in a sob with a disgusting, yet somehow adorable snort. "I didn't want you to see me like this."
Kira smiled. "Yeah, well, I didn't want you to see me possessed by the Emperor. Call it even, huh?"
"Heh," Ghereth exhaled. He looked up at her for the first time. To her surprise, no tears were streaming down his face. "Another weird thing about having no eyes? No tear ducts, either."
Kira chuckled. She began slowly brushing up and down his back with her hand. "Now you get why I don't just get rid of mine." Her expression sobered, and she inched a little closer. Be careful, Kira. Don't make him push you away. "I know we haven't really had time to talk about...what happened."
Ghereth shook his head. "Master Orgus...he taught me everything I know about being a Jedi." His fingers curled into fists until his knuckles cracked. "He taught me about the Living Force. How to be honest with myself, to turn my emotions toward right action. He taught me that all life is precious, and to find joy in protecting it." He smiled without humor. "If I presume to teach anything, I'm just repeating what Master Orgus taught me."
"Wow," Kira said softly. Then her lips quirked and she glanced sidelong at Ghereth. "Must've been a pretty great Jedi then, huh?"
"Him? Absolutely." Ghereth leaned over and settled his head on her shoulder. Her hero looked so small and weak. "You know, Kira...you've grown into quite the Jedi yourself. Nobody would blame you if you felt like moving on. Finding your own way."
"Well…" mused Kira, pretending to consider the idea while her arm snaked around his waist. "I did consider running off as soon as I got what I wanted," she playfully poked him in the ribs. He laughed a little, which made her smile. "But I figured...why not stick around. At least until I get bored and look for a new boytoy."
Ghereth's smile got a little wider. "I wanted that for a long time, Kira. As if that wasn't obvious. But I didn't...need it until after what happened on Darth Angral's ship."
Kira still winced when she thought of the Oppressor. But the spark and warmth of the night after dulled the pain considerably. "Believe me, tough guy...I needed that just as much. If we'd been good little Jedi and kept to ourselves, T7 would still be cleaning up the debris."
Ghereth sat up now, sliding close to her on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. He started once again to resemble the stalwart, conquering hero that Kira loved. "I'm glad you didn't think I was taking advantage of you."
Kira rolled her eyes. "The very idea that you would take advantage of anyone is utterly laughable. Look at me. I'm laughing. HA!"
Love. There was no other word for it.