Thanks for reading and reviewing, really, it makes writing this very worth it! :)
This chapter was quite hard to write... I don't have much time any more and I've had an awful cold since last Friday u.u anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!
P.s. I don't own Glee.
Kurt woke up feeling somewhat cold. Which was understandable, considering that he was on his underwear. But it wasn't only that. There was no sheet covering him, nor there was a body. Sebastian's body.
Kurt opened up his eyes suddenly alarmed, like he had just woken up from a nightmare. He felt weirdly self-aware. He was almost naked and alone on a bed that wasn't his. Something about that made him feel foreign to his surroundings, even though he was not new to them.
Then he heard a noise coming from the kitchen. He slightly sat up on the bed, his weight resting on his elbows. Kurt tried to shake away the feeling of disbelonging he was getting. Ugh, if only he didn't have such a funny mood in the mornings…
The door was opened then, and Sebastian came in carrying a big tray. With breakfast. Kurt's heart made a mortal jump.
"Hey" Sebastian greeted him, too lively for Kurt's state. Not that Kurt didn't feel immediately happier at the view of Sebastian, and what the boy had been doing on the kitchen, but his sleepy state was making things difficult. Kurt managed to give him a small, but genuine, smile.
"Hey" Kurt said back, sitting up straighter on the bed. He rested his hands on his knees to stop them from shaking. The sweet guy in front of him was making him tremble.
Sebastian approached the bed, still smiling, and placed the tray at their feet, getting in bed too and covering both Kurt and him with the sheet he found on the floor.
"I hope you weren't too cold tonight" Sebastian gave Kurt an apologetic smile, observing the sheet.
Kurt was paralysed. Overwhelmed even. He shook his head, smiling. "Not until you got up – I think" Kurt said.
Sebastian observed him with a cheeky expression. "I make one hell of a human covers, don't I?" he joked, stroking Kurt's knee. "Warm, and comfy" he added, running his tongue along his lower lip, with a hungry expression.
Kurt shivered. "You do" he conceded, biting the inside of his mouth, nervously. "What did you bring me here?" he asked, needing a change of subject. His body craved energy to be able to keep up with Sebastian's speed.
Sebastian smiled amused. "Just some fuel – you're gonna need it" he said, calmly staring at Kurt. But Sebastian's calm tone did not hide his intentions. Kurt gulped, already blushing. Suddenly there was not enough air around them. Sebastian moved his hand slightly higher, towards Kurt's thigh. "Don't worry" the boy said, his head now searching for Kurt's neck. Kurt felt Sebastian's piercing eyes running wildly over his flushed neck skin. "I'll get you there warm and ready" Sebastian whispered against his ear. Kurt breathed out nervously, but forced himself to look at Sebastian briefly before grabbing the tray and bringing it closer.
"I'm gonna need this, then" Kurt murmured, giving up. "Thank you, I guess" Kurt said awkwardly, giving Sebastian a quick look before taking a bite from a toast.
Sebastian snorted, and grabbed a glass of juice from the tray. "Oh – it's the least I could do" the boy said, cockily, containing a laughter.
Kurt observed him while he chewed his toast, and realised Sebastian looked really amused. "You enjoy doing this do to me, don't you?" Kurt asked then, relaxing a little.
Sebastian finally chuckled, no longer containing it. "Yes, I do" he admitted, grinning like a little kid. "You can't blame me, though. Your faces are just… well, so expressive" he commented, between chuckles.
Kurt casted him a bitchy glare. "Great. My face is a freaking mirror" Kurt rubbed his cheeks, soothing them.
"Don't" Sebastian said, still grinning stupidly. "Those blushing cheeks are mine and I demand you let them be" the boy said while shaking Kurt's hands away. Kurt rolled his eyes and bit his toast again. "Besides," Sebastian added, coming closer again, suggestively, "they really turn me on."
Kurt coughed, almost choking on his toast, and Sebastian snorted, placing a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek. "Okay, I'll grant you a break to eat – otherwise you won't make it to our fun time" he joked.
"How very considerate of you" Kurt responded ironically. But he was feeling calmer now. Sebastian was being Sebastian. And that was something Kurt always enjoyed and found irritating at the same time. It was their usual dynamic.
They both ate silently, comfortably, but Kurt's stomach threatened to go ungentle on him every time Sebastian and he shared a furtive smile. They had never shared that before. And it was quite something.
"Stop distracting me" Kurt pinched on Sebastian's naked chest, playfully, the third time the boy gave him a not-so-innocent furtive smile.
Sebastian caught Kurt's hand before Kurt could pull it back and kept it there, on his chest.
Sebastian's hand, over his, on that sensitive yet sculptural spot, felt really intimate. Before Kurt could realise what he was doing, his thumb was stroking Sebastian's skin, affectionately. His aim wasn't to turn Sebastian on – not yet, anyway. He just wanted to feel him. To feel close to him.
Kurt got distracted observing his hand under Sebastian's, so when he raised his eyes to meet the other boy's and unconsciously smiled at him, he was taken aback by the serious look the boy was giving him. It wasn't a bad kind of seriousness, but it was serious anyway.
Sebastian looked away two seconds later and let go of Kurt's hand, grabbing the tray and resting it on the floor. Then he moved slowly, no sign of a smirk or a cheeky smile on his lips or eyes, and gradually placed himself on top of Kurt. First, he grabbed one pillow and put it behind Kurt's head, inviting him to rest his head there and get comfortable. Then the boy placed his knees on both sides of Kurt, and helped Kurt lay his back down on the mattress.
The caution and care Sebastian put on every movement made Kurt smile. It was only a matter of time before Sebastian speeded it all up. Wasn't it? Still it felt nice starting things up like this. It gave Kurt the time to prepare himself for it. Not that Kurt didn't enjoy Sebastian's roughness, but it was quite hard to pick between his rough side and his sweet one. Thankfully, he didn't have to.
Then, Sebastian lowered himself down to cover Kurt with his body, but placed his forearms on the mattress to not crash upon him. Kurt gave him a shy smile, and brought his hands to Sebastian's shoulders.
"I know I really wanna do this" the boy said, giving Kurt an intense, insecure look, while he studied Kurt's reactions. "But- sometimes, it's hard to know if you do" he continued. Kurt didn't know what he was most shocked about: that statement, or Sebastian's eyes – full of doubt and insecurity. "I mean- I can't really tell if you're just nervous, or… if I fail to make you feel- well, comfortable enough with- this" the boy explained.
So that was what that serious look was about. Kurt didn't know what to say. Sebastian wasn't entirely wrong – he was freaking nervous around him most of the time. But that wasn't what was making him mute. It was Sebastian opening up to him and telling him what was on his mind. It was refreshing, for a change, but also… intense.
"Look, I know we've already been- sort of intimate, but… well, I need to know that you're totally okay with this" Sebastian continued, struggling visibly. Kurt caressed his face, being this the only way he found to show Sebastian support while he spoke. "Because sometimes I feel like I'm going to deflower you" the boy joked, nervously.
Kurt bit his lip, feeling kind of down with himself. He sighed. "I really don't like that" Kurt said, trying to fight how annoyed at himself those words made him feel so he could find a way to prove Sebastian differently. "I'm sorry" he said, straightforwardly, bringing his hands to stroke Sebastian's sides.
Sebastian regarded him with curiosity, and smiled. "Why? Don't be" the boy added quickly, brushing his nose against Kurt's cheek, then planting a soothing kiss there.
Kurt felt a chill down his spine, but thankfully didn't shiver. He smiled at Sebastian, grateful, and sighed. "Can I be honest?" Kurt asked.
"Of course" Sebastian told him, seriously.
"I really don't know why you make me so nervous" Kurt said, honestly. "But I've stopped questioning it. Because I- I kind of like it" Kurt added with a small smile, tentatively.
Sebastian smiled back at him. "I can help with that, then" he said, livelier. "I don't mind soothing you."
Kurt felt his chest getting warmer. "Oh – that's gonna come in handy" he joked, coyly. "Because I feel totally ready for… you know" Kurt said clumsily. "You might find this hard to believe, but I've felt somewhat ready since you lectured me in fetishism" Kurt admitted, half-jokingly, aware that he might blush – but he didn't care now.
They both chuckled. "Well, humour me – I think I noticed that" Sebastian stated cockily, biting Kurt's neck playfully. "I wanna ask you something else, though" Sebastian added.
"Shoot" Kurt said, feeling relieved. So far, the nerves part had being successfully clarified. He squeezed Sebastian's sides.
"Would I be… your second?" the boy asked, bluntly.
Kurt froze. He thought Sebastian already knew that and was cool with it. "You mean," Kurt gulped, insecurely, "the second guy I um-"
"Have sex with, yeah" Sebastian finished the sentence, giving him an amused smile.
Kurt bit his lip. "Would that be… a problem?" he asked, tentatively.
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. "You're gonna answer me based on what I say next?" he asked, chuckling.
"Maybe" Kurt said playfully. "I really hope I don't have to, though…" he added, since they were sort of playing.
Sebastian shook his head in a 'you silly' kind of way. "So you've only had sex with Blaine, right?" he asked then, though he was stating it.
Kurt nodded, biting the inner part of his mouth. Well, he had never intended to hide that, anyway.
"Okay" Sebastian said again, taking that in. "Maybe that's another reason why you're so nervous" he meditated out loud, observing Kurt for a few seconds. Kurt wasn't so sure about that. He was under the impression that it was about Sebastian, and not about how many guys he'd been with.
"Well," Sebastian said, looking suddenly less lively, "then I guess it's only fair that you know that-" he stopped, looking momentarily away before making eye contact with Kurt, "I've been with a lot of guys" Sebastian stated. Two months ago, Kurt could have imagined Sebastian bragging about something like that. But the guy he had in front of him didn't sound cocky in the slightest.
"So I- I've had myself tested with regularity for a couple of years now" Sebastian explained, and Kurt could tell he felt awkward while telling this. "And I'm clean. Last time I checked was like- one month ago, and you have nothing to be afraid of, because I haven't been intimate with anyone since then."
"O-kay" Kurt said slowly, feeling sort of awkward and amused at the same time.
They locked eyes then and chuckled simultaneously, releasing the tension. "That was awkward, wasn't it?" Sebastian asked him, looking more like himself now. Kurt giggled. "I just thought you should know" Sebastian added, scratching Kurt's arm.
"And I thank you for that" Kurt said, "not that I had any concerns, though…"
"You didn't?" Sebastian asked, giving him a reproachful look. "Kurt, you've got to be careful with that. Especially with guys like me" he joked. "I guess you've never had to worried about that before, but… now you do, gayface" he said, stroking Kurt's hair.
Kurt shrugged. "I kind of had faith that you were smart enough not to catch anything" Kurt said playfully, though he meant it. "And I'm not really planning on go trying people around, so… I think I'm good" he giggled.
"You don't?" Sebastian asked – and the boy was asking honestly, with a glint of shock on his eyes. Kurt tried not to overthink things. "I mean, you just got out of a three year relationship" he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Don't you wanna live a little?" Sebastian asked, but not maliciously. Still, Kurt forced himself not to show how he didn't like that expression.
"I guess that depends on what 'living a little' means… I do feel very alive right now" Kurt said, giving Sebastian a small smile. He hoped Sebastian got it. Kurt felt like this was where he was supposed to be now.
Sebastian's pupils dilated, and his eyes smiled genuinely at Kurt, while he run a hand along Kurt's body, from chest to navel. "What else do I make you feel?" Sebastian asked him, wetting his lips.
Kurt doubted briefly whether this conversation was going smut, or he could stick to the butterflies-on-my stomach talk. Sebastian's eyes were not even remotely looking as hungry as they usually did when things got intense.
"Challenged" Kurt said, feeling a pleasant tickle on his navel. Sebastian had just kissed the spot.
"What else?" the boy asked, his breath only millimetres away from Kurt's skin, now reaching his abdomen.
Kurt closed his eyes. His whole mind was focused on Sebastian's mouth and its closeness to his skin. The feeling somehow opened up Kurt's box of honest answers, and his mouth took charge of everything.
"Accepted" Kurt breathed out. Sebastian kissed the lower part of his ribbons.
"Keep talking" Sebastian demanded, noticing that all he could hear from Kurt was his breathing. He kissed the higher part of his ribbons now.
"Warm" Kurt said. Sebastian kissed just slightly below his left nipple. "Brave" Sebastian kissed his right nipple now. Kurt gasped quietly. "Eager" Sebastian's lips were on his clavicles. "Wanted" Sebastian's tongue was out now, wetting Kurt's neck until it reached his lips, which Kurt parted immediately.
They both sat up impulsively, and Kurt pulled Sebastian's hair fiercely, beaming with electric energy. Sebastian's hands grabbed Kurt's torso roughly.
"I want you so bad" Kurt breathed out, feeling a wave of joy invading his insides. "Don't you doubt that" he said, smiling against Sebastian's lips.
They locked eyes briefly, still devouring each other's mouth. Sebastian smiled warmly too, then grabbed Kurt's head and broke the kiss. "You won't regret this. I promise" he whispered, staring right at him with a kind smile. He placed a lingering kiss on Kurt's cheek, and Kurt felt himself relax.
Sebastian rested his thumb on the sore spot, caressing it. "Lay down" the boy demanded Kurt then. "You wanna know how you make me feel?" he asked, once Kurt's back was pressed against the mattress again.
Kurt casted him a curious look. Sebastian bit his lip, pleased. "Wanted" he whispered, and playfully bit Kurt's nipple, making him startle. "Eager" Sebastian breathed out on Kurt's ear, nibbling his earlobe briefly. "And warm, and accepted, and challenged…" he continued, placing wet kisses all over Kurt's neck and chest. "And alive" he finished, kissing Kurt with his mouth closed.
Kurt observed him, speechless. Funnily enough, those were the words he had also pronounced just one minute before, and yet they sounded so powerful on Sebastian's lips. So impacting. He brought his hand to Sebastian's hair and stroked it, unable to do or say anything else.
Would Sebastian be feeling this too? The way Kurt was feeling? Or was the boy just repeating Kurt's words? Kurt had not dared to say 'loved', but that was also how he was feeling.
"You mean it?" Kurt whispered eventually, while Sebastian kept feeling his skin with his mouth.
The boy stopped then, and dug up his head to look at Kurt. Sebastian gave him a knowing look. "Of course I do" he said, and placed a kiss on Kurt's hipbone.
That did the trick. Kurt didn't know what took over him, but one second later he was grabbing Sebastian's neck and bringing him closer to kiss him. Just as electrically as two minutes before. This time though, they were laying down, and it didn't take long for their bodies to start rubbing against each other.
Sebastian pulled Kurt somewhat higher, towards the headboard, and Kurt quickly wrapped his legs around Sebastian's upper body – their intimate, lower parts now pressed, making full contact. Sebastian stroke Kurt's thighs, urgently, but broke the kiss.
"You wanna bottom? Or shall I?" he asked, while searching for Kurt's mouth and teasing him with wanting bites on his lower lip. Kurt attacked Sebastian's neck.
"I don't mind being bottom" Kurt mumbled against Sebastian's skin, nibbling and sucking every spot of that freckled neck. "It's what I- normally do" he breathed out, cautiously feeling Sebastian's torso with his hands, inch to inch.
Sebastian rested his mouth on Kurt's forehead, and let Kurt take his time to know and explore his body. Kurt was touching him less eagerly now, and more knowingly.
"I really wanna top this time" Sebastian told him, breathing more steadily now. "But I'll bottom for you some other time, 'kay?" the boy assured Kurt.
Kurt dug up his head from Sebastian's clavicle, and observed him for a moment. "Okay" he said, smiling warmly. Then he directed his attention to Sebastian's chest again. He run a hand over it, slightly slowing down when he reached a nipple. Then, without giving it a second thought, he brought his lips gradually closer to the spot, and rested them on the middle of it, placing a soft, lingering kiss. Then he pulled out his tongue, and traced a wet line towards Sebastian's left nipple, where Kurt started sucking.
Sebastian pulled Kurt's hair somewhat strongly, but not too hard. The boy rested his head on top of Kurt's, and kissed it between moans.
Kurt took in Sebastian's pleasure and decided to take it a little further. He slowly brought his right hand towards Sebastian's waistband, and slipped it under the fabric, feeling Sebastian's ass cheek, then stroking it. He stopped sucking then, and just kissed Sebastian's abdomen wetly, leaving sore skin at his pass.
Sebastian's hold on his hair got tighter, and only two seconds later Sebastian's tongue was on his ear, licking it thoroughly. That distracted Kurt, whose lips just stayed parted below Sebastian's pectoral. Somewhere in between that, their erections had started to rub against each other.
Sebastian removed one hand from Kurt's thigh and run it all the way up until it reached Kurt's lips. He introduced two fingers on Kurt's mouth, and Kurt licked them.
"I'm gonna open you up a little, okay?" Sebastian whispered on his ear, calmly. Kurt nodded almost imperceptibly. His eyes told Sebastian he agreed to that, though. Sebastian's wet hand stroked Kurt's back until it reached the waistband, then he teased Kurt over the fabric, caressing the hole over it.
Kurt hid his head on the crook of Sebastian's neck, and enjoyed the anticipation. He gasped when Sebastian's first finger entered him. Sebastian rubbed Kurt's back with his other hand, soothing him. "It's okay – you're just a little tight" he told Kurt. And Kurt was surprised to realise how that wasn't smut talking. Sebastian's tone was quite gentle.
Kurt relaxed, and let Sebastian keep working the sore spot. Once he felt somewhat comfortable with the pressure, Kurt kissed Sebastian's jawline and whispered "You can add another one", quietly.
Sebastian did just that, never stopping his rubs on Kurt's back. Not long after that, Kurt was nodding to tell him he could add another finger. They remained a while like that, just kissing wetly while Sebastian opened him up.
Sebastian's fingers were skilled. Soon enough, they started to hit Kurt's prostate, and Kurt was moaning mindlessly all over Sebastian's chest. "God- Bas" he babbled, unconsciously. He grabbed Sebastian's sides now, scratching them with want. Sebastian pressed himself further above Kurt, trapping him now against the mattress, and speeded up his movements above him, bringing his erection to rub constantly against Kurt's.
Kurt grabbed Sebastian's waistband, on a desperate gesture, and pulled it down, meeting Sebastian's hardness with his hands. He had never, in his short sexual life, felt this turned on. This anxious, this heated. Up until this day, Kurt never thought it would be possible for his body to contain so much want. He had always thought people exaggerated stuff when talking about sex. Maybe they did not.
Sebastian removed his fingers from inside Kurt then, and pulled down Kurt's briefs too. Then he quickly moved to catch a condom from his nightstand, and bit it open, while eyeing Kurt, who returned the look.
Kurt felt flushed, and sweaty, and was quite certain his skin might look kind of sore. He run a hand over his forehead, confirming his suspicions, and blushed – though his skin was already quite heated up, so it didn't show too much.
Sebastian observed him, side smiling, then he came forwards and kissed Kurt's forehead. It was a lingering kiss. Then, he grabbed Kurt's hand, and offered him the condom.
"Wanna put it on?" Sebastian asked, with a hoarse voice. Kurt took it – the sweat, the heat and the gesture making him feel somewhat self-aware again. He observed Sebastian's eyes then, and found a glint of kindness on them. But it wasn't the only part of Sebastian that irradiated kindness. His hands did too. The way he stroked Kurt's back, constantly calming him, or the way his other hand wrapped around Kurt's, giving him the condom.
Kurt gave him a brief smile, and came forwards to kiss him. Maybe not so heatedly anymore, but there was enough want around them by now. Kurt lowered down his hand while he kissed Sebastian until it reached his erection. He struggled a little, not capable of seeing much since he could not bring himself to pull back from kissing Sebastian.
Sebastian lowered down his hand too, and grabbed Kurt's, helping him put on the condom. Kurt's breathing became somewhat deeper from that moment on. More intense. Sebastian removed his lips from Kurt's and placed them on his cheek then, while he used his hand to locate Kurt's hole and place his cock at its entrance. Kurt grabbed that same hand then, startled, and Sebastian held his hand back tightly.
They locked eyes again, and Kurt simply nodded. Sebastian started thrusting inside him, slowly, with care. Kurt bit his lip, containing any slight pain or soreness he might feel, since he knew it would be temporary.
It wasn't long until Kurt started to feel at ease and Sebastian speeded up his movements a little, mouthing Kurt's chest constantly and his hand never leaving Kurt's.
Then, as Kurt breathing became panting and he started moaning incoherently, Sebastian's hands took a hold on his ass then, grabbing it fiercely, making things a little more rough and intense.
They never broke the eye contact, only when they kissed because it was almost inevitable to close their eyes then. However, every now and then Sebastian kept studying Kurt's eyes, silently asking Kurt if everything was okay, which Kurt responded nodding along.
"Kurt- ba-babe" Sebastian panted, on his neck, "can I- come against your skin?" he asked, mouthing the sweaty spot. Kurt didn't quite know what that'd imply exactly, but he didn't have it in him right now to deny Sebastian a thing, so he stroked Sebastian's arm and whispered: "You can do any- thing you- want", tiredly.
Sebastian exited him then, and threw away the condom, thrusting his hands between Kurt and the mattress to grab his shoulders from behind. "You close?" Sebastian asked him, his cock now caressing Kurt's belly, just as Kurt's was caressing Sebastian's belly too.
Kurt nodded. Sebastian hid his head on the crook of Kurt's neck and they let their bodies took care of the friction. Kurt came first, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's back, frantically. It felt like nothing he had felt before.
A few seconds later, realising that Sebastian hadn't come yet, Kurt restarted his movements until he felt Sebastian's cum on him.
The boy rested on top of him, not removing his hands from his back, or a single inch of skin from above Kurt's. They remained like this for quite a while.
Eventually, Sebastian moved to the side, resting his head over the pillow, but kept his arms around Kurt, and their legs intertwined.
"I had never done it like that" Sebastian said, observing Kurt with a calm expression. Post-orgasm calm expression.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "Like what?" he asked. His hand had started to revive and his thumb was now rebelliously drawing circles on Sebastian's back.
Sebastian shook his head, giving him a tired smile. "I don't know" the boy said, truly.
Kurt's insecurity made him imagine the worst case scenario. He gulped. "Is that… a bad thing?" he asked, tentatively.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, amused. "Of course not, idiot" he answered bluntly.
Kurt sighed, relieved. "Well, you're not giving me many clues" he defended, playfully. "And I'm a worrier" he joked.
Sebastian squeezed Kurt's side. "It was great, gayface" he said suggestively, coming slightly closer to Kurt. "I always suspected you'd be quite something in bed" Sebastian told him cockily, grabbing his hips. "The way you move these – damn." He wetted his lips, cheekily.
Kurt looked away momentarily, trying to hide his blush. "Oh" he made, self-awareness coming back. Getting a bed-compliment from someone as experienced as Sebastian was not a small deal. "You had never had a hip-shaker then?" Kurt joked, shyly.
Sebastian smirked, his hand now moving from Kurt's hipbone to Kurt's arm. "Not just that, though" the boy admitted then, biting his lip. He looked unsure for a moment, and Kurt wondered if he was failing to get him, because there was a glint of struggle on the way Sebastian frowned.
Kurt wouldn't allow that – to have Sebastian looking insecure. With a courage Kurt didn't know he had, he came closer to Sebastian and wrapped himself around his torso, where Kurt placed a long, innocent, kiss. Sebastian's muscles felt somewhat rigid at first touch.
Sebastian's hand came tentatively to rest on his hair, where it began to stroke. Kurt broke the kiss with Sebastian's torso, and rested his cheek against it. "It was different for me too, meerkat" Kurt conceded, struggling to find the right words to say that he might be feeling just as overwhelmed. Kurt felt Sebastian's muscles relax a bit at that, and he couldn't help but smile.
"Different how?" Sebastian asked, that vulnerable tone the boy had when he had just woken up making a comeback.
Kurt dug up his head and placed it on the pillow again, though he didn't lose his wrap around Sebastian's upper body. Kurt wondered how far he could go. After all, he had just asked Sebastian the same question and the boy had been evasive. And it wasn't that Kurt was feeling like being evasive too – it was that he feared there might be a line he shouldn't cross just yet.
"I don't know if that's fair" Kurt decided, giving Sebastian a small smile. Sebastian casted him a knowing one, like he knew exactly what Kurt meant. "But I'll tell you anyway" Kurt added, pushed by that invisible force that always made him want to be as brave and honest as Sebastian, even though the boy wasn't acting like that right now. Still, something told Kurt that Sebastian was just not used to this kind of intimacy – just like Kurt was not used to Sebastian's rough, suggestive talk and touch before.
Sebastian's expression turned expectant, putting Kurt out of his inner monologue. Kurt cleared his throat, nervously. He might have resolved to speak his mind, but that didn't mean it'd be a road of roses. "Well," he started, biting his lip, "it was… quite a mix, you know?" he asked, rhetorically, and judging by Sebastian's eyebrow he wouldn't get a nod anyway, "I mean…" Kurt babbled, his eyes distracted by the tiny freckle of Sebastian's nose. Sebastian run his fingers along Kurt's cheek then, making Kurt look right into his eyes. There was a kind, patient smile there. "I felt like- my body could explode any moment with… want" Kurt let slip, feeling almost compelled to tell Sebastian. "It was almost dangerous" Kurt explained, half-jokingly, smiling briefly, "but I also felt… incredibly safe so…" Kurt sighed, feeling awkward. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"
"It's the effort that matters" Sebastian chuckled, but the boy wasn't mocking him, Kurt realised.
Kurt covered his face, embarrassed. "Oh, God, why did I even open my mouth?" he lamented, blushing badly.
Sebastian brought him closer, laughing quietly, and shook off Kurt's hands to make contact with his nose. The boy definitely had a thing for biting that spot.
Kurt sighed, giving up. "Okay, look… this is gonna sound incredibly shallow, but… I don't think I've ever enjoyed myself so much during… it" he admitted. There, he thought relieved.
Sebastian casted him a surprised look and smiled cheekily. "Is that so?" the boy asked, cockily, moving his thigh slightly higher towards Kurt's crotch, and it could have been much higher if Kurt hadn't stopped him.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd take it that way" he said, pinching Sebastian's chest. Sebastian pinched him back and they chuckled stupidly, until their muscles remembered them the tired state in which they were. "Anyway, can I tell you something?" Kurt asked, even if he knew he didn't need to.
Sebastian nodded, looking curious.
"I've always had this- stupid, really stupid idea that sex was only crazily good in people's imagination – or porn" he added, chuckling quietly. "I mean – sex with Blaine was great, don't get me wrong…" Kurt smiled awkwardly. Why am I mentioning Blaine? "But I used to have this dirty, little secret fantasy" Oh, wait, why are you telling him this? Kurt thought, amused and embarrassed at the same time… But Sebastian's pupils dilated at the mention of dirty and fantasy so… "In which I'd be married someday, live in a big house…" Kurt deviated briefly, then cleared his throat, "but anyway, one day I'd have an affair with the gardener, you know? Like in Desperate Housewives, and it'd be crazy, great, porn sex… only because it'd be only physical… you know what I mean?" he asked then, animatedly, but unsure if Sebastian would be following him.
"You mean… you thought you could only have great sex with a stranger?" Sebastian asked, amused.
"Exactly" Kurt responded brightly, glad that he hadn't lost Sebastian in that stupid story. "And the thing is… well, that I was wrong" Kurt added, tentatively now. This was the hard part. "You're not a stranger, and it wasn't only physical, and- yet…" he stopped to shallow down the nod on his throat.
"It was good, crazy, porn sex?" Sebastian asked, chuckling now cheekily.
Kurt looked away, visibly embarrassed. Well at least I'm saying what I feel… "It was the best I've ever had…" he said, shrugging, trying not chicken out now. He felt Sebastian's hand on his side then.
"I'm really flattered, Kurt" the boy said, getting back Kurt's attention. Kurt looked at him, insecurely, but relaxed a bit. "And I'm definitely not gonna forget that any time soon" he assured Kurt, giving him a genuine smile. "Wanna hear my reasons now?" Sebastian added, rubbing his hand along Kurt's side.
Kurt simply smiled.
Sebastian gulped and bit the inner part of his mouth, looking much less cocky now. "I had heard people say that- sex might um-" the boy scratched his neck, uncomfortably, "make you feel closer to someone" he explained, locking eyes with Kurt briefly, then looking away again, "but I had never experienced it – until now, that is" Sebastian finished, going mute and rigid.
Kurt observed him, but the boy didn't look at him. His hand felt kind of inert on Kurt's skin. And Kurt was feeling kind of motionless too. Here he was, talking about 'crazy, porn sex' and Sebastian about 'feeling closer' to him. Had they switched bodies or something?
"I guess sometimes people's notions are not that wrong" Kurt joked, to break the tension, mostly.
Sebastian side smiled, shrugging. "Sometimes" he conceded, looking at Kurt again.
Kurt giggled. "Is it too late to add 'bonding' to my poor, very poor list of adjectives 'crazy, good, porn'?" he asked jokingly, though he kind of meant it.
Sebastian came over him, predatorily. "I'm corrupting you, huh?" he asked, all awkwardness gone.
Kurt chuckled. "I'm afraid so" he admitted, playfully. "I'm also afraid I might be softening you" he whispered jokingly, scratching Sebastian's arm.
"Huh" Sebastian made thoughtfully, pretending to be pondering it. "I wonder how many times I can make you say 'oh, Bas, this was definitely the best sex I've ever had'" Sebastian mimicked him maliciously, although it wasn't as mockingly as it was suggestive. Two seconds later, Sebastian was nibbling Kurt's neck. "Let's see…" he whispered against the skin.
Kurt felt a chill down his spine, suddenly remembering they were both still naked. "Bas – I'm gonna need more fuel" he lamented, amused. "Then you can get me there 'warm' and 'ready' again" Kurt was surprised to hear himself say. Sebastian groaned against his neck.