Apprehension felt foreign to me, and that's how I knew how to identify it. Unpleasant, clammy, and sickly, distantly of course. I felt temperature changes now, and appreciated it like a newly developed skill, but it didn't mean I was cured. My fingernails were still broken, my skin still an off white. My pulse was my only sure reminder of what was happening while I was fully clothed.

Orihime regarded me with a forced disinterested expression, but I could see another emotion playing in her eyes. Pleasure? What was that? Not quite, and I looked down at the clothes self consciously. "Do you not like them?" She asked at once.

"I'd rather see them for myself." I'd not risked a look in the mirror yet, worried ill be disappointed by the corpse-like face staring back at me. Sure, I'd showered and washed away any residue of coagulated blood, but I had no idea what that made me look like. I felt like I was a zombie playing the part of the living, and my body felt sub-par.

That was when there was a knock at the door, and we both turned to find the short girl enter the room. "Hows everything...oh!" A smile crept up on her face, replacing slight fear. "You look much better, Ulquiorra."

I couldn't see Orihime's face, but Rukia was making eye contact with her behind me, and she was containing a grin. "Orihime, what do you think?" I switched my glance to her before I knew what I was doing, and caught her red cheeks and beaming smile. Her eyes were watering, and it puzzled me. "Don't cry, woman."

"I'm not," she rushed, and pushed away the smile, failing.

Rukia saved her. "Have you looked in the mirror yet?"

I shook my head, feeling sick again. The motion felt sluggish. Rukia took my arm, and closed the door to the walk in wardrobe with us inside. She turned me round gently, saying nothing. The room felt braced for something, silent and still as I regarded myself.

The man I saw in the reflection was, needless to say, very different. He looked back at me, seeming to suit the clothes he'd been given, the only piece of colour on him showing beneath his thick black bangs, shiny and free from dirt and remnants of his life as the zombie. I walked closer to the mirror, following my eyes as I went, startled with a hint of recognition. I knew who it was. I knew it was me.

"Well?" Rukia asked gently. I made eye contact with her through the image, but my eyes flew to the face of Orihime. I thanked her silently, and she seemed to response with a dazed look. Rukia nodded. "You look a little different from how I remember you."

"...how so?" I asked, wondering how it was possible that I still had some way to go. I looked alive, what else was there left to change?

She met my eyes again. "You had marks running beneath your eyes, like tears." She laughed dryly. "Pretty ironic, actually."

"What...what do you mean?" Orihime asked in curiosity. I was interested in what Rukia had to say about me, and turned to face both of them. "How was it ironic?"

Her face was like ice, but her eyes switched from the ground to Orihime in concern of saying too much. "You were very cold. Very callous."

"Really." I commented. I didn't find this difficult to believe. My face didn't look very emotive. She nodded. "I guess it was why Aizen gave you the most responsibility of the arrancars; you didn't care. It was a job to you."

"Who was Aizen?"

Orihime, her face now sullen, looked at Rukia. "He was your superior. There was a war between him and the soul reapers."

I remembered I knew what they were, and pushed my brain for more knowledge. I couldn't push through the fog that had settled. "What was I?"

"You were a hollow," Rukia answered. "The enemy of the soul reapers, the things we kill to protect the human world. You were an arrancer, the most intelligent race, closest to soul reapers."

"What did I do?"

She crossed her arms in insecurity. "You were part of the Espada, the 4th strongest."

"What did that mean?" I realised I was throwing questions her way, but I was like a sponge soaking up the knowledge. I didn't care, I wanted to know.

"It meant that you were our enemy. You were the strongest group of hollows. You were very difficult to defeat."

"But you defeated us."

She nodded. The room felt thick and uncomfortable. That was when I noticed a question, seeming to be floating before me.

"How do I know...Orihime?" I had suspicions by the first time we encountered the soul reapers, but now I had a chance to hear the full story. Or at least a fraction.

Rukia met my eyes again for the first time in a few seconds. "You obeyed Aizen's commands."

I looked back to Orihime, who looked too pale. I was so used to the blood rushing to her face, now she just looked sick.

"I think we need to take you to the training ground."

"Why?" Orihime asked. Rukia shrugged, and it appeared that she was passing off the responsiibilty of the full story elsewhere. "So then maybe there'll be enough enforcement around to prevent any fights between you and Ichigo."

Hatred bubbled up at the sound of his name, and intstantly I inched closer to the woman, who, to my surprise, closed the gap between our arms. I thought I sounded like a demon in the short girl's description of me.

"Why do we have to be in the same room?" I quizzed stubbornly. My voice came out clipped and cold, but she didn't look surprised.

"Because you and he have the most history. Haven't you wondered why you hate him so much?" She looked over her shoulder, already facing the door, a small smile on her face. She turned back round to face the door. "This should be fun," she sighed.

...

For some reason, I found myself holding Ulquiorra's hand as we descended the steps into the large desert. I scanned the huge grounds, recoiling at the appearance of the sky meeting the horizon. It was impossible! As we continued, I was increasingly thankful for Ulquiorra's earlier appearance to save me. Man there were a lot of steps.

Finally we reached the bottom, and numerous figures dotted the horizon, some far away and some within perhaps a few feet, sat and observing as they took a break. The bald man with strange eye make up was lying down, but craned his head to see us and instantly propped himself up to his feet. "Lietenant! I was just taking a break."

"Give it a rest, Ikkaku. Where's Ichigo?"

The man grunted grumpily. "Squished up a wall like a fly for all I care-"

"He beat you," another voice said, and another man appeared. Yumichika, the man with very feminine features. "get over it, already." He leaned against the nearest bolder with smug satisfaction. "Instead of lounging around and catching a tan on that dome of yours you can join me for a little sparring."

Ikkaku drew his weapon, and a force seemed to surround him, aiming it straight at the man. Rukia had lost her patience.

"Will someone PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO FIND ICHIGO!"

They paused, and pointed into the distance with shaking hands. "H-he's th-that way."

I stared in awe at Rukia, my new friend, her short frame hiding a very scary person indeed. She sighed heavily and sharply. "Thank you."

We walked in the direction we'd been given, and I felt nervous. I had a sneaking suspicion that Ulquiorra was too a little nervous, but he hid it well. His face was a cold mask in contrast with the warm hand holding mine.

It took a good few minutes to find him, but it appeared that Rukia detected him first. "Man, he sure needed his space."

A crash, and a huge dark mass erupted from a spot in the distance, which was met with a equally large, light pink glow. It dispersed and consumed the mass, but the small black spot shot up, and disappeared. The roaring filled my ears, and Ulquiorra tightened his grip on my fingers.

"What is it?" I looked to him for the thousandth time, and he just shook his head minutely.

"Ichigo!" Rukia called, and the fight stopped as the pink glow disappeared abruptly. Captain Kuchiki appeared before us in a flash. "Rukia. Ichigo is training, it would not be best to interrupt him at this time."

"I'm sorry, brother, but this is important."

As I looked between the siblings, it occurred to me how similar they looked. It was almost possible to imagine the captain smiling if you pictured Rukia's expressive face.

"Please, just try and persuade him."

Byakuya hesitated. "I do not think it wise for him to be around," presumably meaning Ulquiorra. At least he wasn't 'it', which seemed to be the sentiment.

"Ulquiorra is the reason we need to see Ichigo, sir," I chimed in. "Rukia said that Ichigo has the most history with him, and so will be able to tell him the most about his life."

"Can that not wait?"

I grabbed his hand tighter. "No, sir," I said defiantly. Byakuya hesitated again. "Very well." He turned on his step, and walked in a slow stride so we could keep up.

"Well done, Orihime," Rukia whispered next to me. She seemed surprised, but not offended, by how her brother listened to me over her. She must be used to his stubbornness.