Thanks everyone for R&R!^^ It keeps me going with this fic :)
Don't worry! I won't start the Samchel spin-off until I'm finished with this fic. Plus, I'm participating on NaNoWriMo on November and I won't have the time for Samchel anyway. So my goal now is to finish this Kurtbastian fic on October :) you can rest easy! hehe
P.s. This turned out to be incredibly long and full of twists. I hope it's not angsty, but sometimes it just happens even when you don't want to!
P.s.2. I don't own Glee.
Kurt had to go to bed with the utter feeling that Sebastian had ignored his text. He kept checking his cell phone until his eyes could no longer bear being open.
A few hours later Kurt got this text from Sebastian.
From Sebastian S. (04:37 a.m.): You miss me like crazy
Of course, Kurt wouldn't read it until he woke up for work. Damn time difference.
Of course I do, he thought, fondly. Wait. Doesn't that scare the shit out of him? Kurt wondered. But he was too thick to think clearly. Morning was definitely the worst part of day to text someone. His grumpy morning mood could totally play him, so Kurt decided to give it a few hours.
He went on his morning like he normally did. Coffee for Isabelle, some errands and attending phone calls and website requests. Lunch time came unnoticed, and soon enough he was on the subway, on his way back home, when he realised he hadn't replied Sebastian yet.
Oh, wow, Kurt thought. He would've never thought he'd so absorbed that he'd literally forget about the world. Vogue was doing that for him, and it felt great. Santana had been right: it'd just taken some focus on himself to actually start thinking he mattered more.
Kurt got home and saw a note from Sam: late night shoot. Kurt felt somewhat thankful, since he really needed some time to think of some witty comeback for the text. Which he just couldn't do.
After a few minutes he realised it didn't have to be witty. It just had to be his! But nothing came up anyway. He started typing nonsense.
'of course I do'
'you got me begging you for mercy' Kurt blamed his iPod.
'get your ass back on a plane'
'I miss your warmth'
Then he remembered something.
To Sebastian S. (07:43 p.m.): You make one hell of a human covers, of course I do ;)
Okay, so not exactly witty. But he was tired! Kurt made himself comfortable on the couch and devoured his sandwich while he turned on the TV to some random reality show.
This time he didn't have to wait long for Sebastian's response.
From Sebastian S. (07:51 p.m.): Well, someone's gotta keep marble warm… How you manage not to freeze without my burning heat around is beyond my understanding
Kurt chuckled. Okay, that was a witty comeback. He better shaped up.
To Sebastian S. (07:58 p.m.): I like it when you call me 'marble' :) but I'm missing some gay references to my face here… are you that out of your game, meerkat?
Kurt smiled pleased at himself and finished his sandwich.
Of course he missed Sebastian, and his warmth. God, suddenly a wave of melancholy took over him. He got up and poured himself a glass of wine. Then snuggled up to a blanket and nervously eyed his cell phone every now and then.
From Sebastian S. (08:05 p.m.): Don't provoke me… the things I'd do to you if I was there
Ups. Kurt was briefly shocked (he hadn't been told things like that for weeks). Then he realised he clearly had triggered Sebastian's predatory side. Soon enough the shock was over and a glint of arousal tickled his throat.
To Sebastian S. (08:09 p.m.): Like what
Oh, that was too short. Dammit, Kurt thought. That sounded desperate, he mentally slapped himself.
He took a long sip of wine.
From Sebastian S. (08:11 p.m.): Like mouthing your trembling, pale body. Restlessly. Mm, I know some of your sensitive spots… would you cooperate this time?
Kurt had to put the blanket away and took another sip.
Yeah, he hadn't been exactly participative last time. But he'd had his reasons...
In fact, he still did. Damn right he still did. Kurt shook his head, annoyed at how easily he could forget sometimes.
To Sebastian S. (08:15 p.m.): I might have to consider it… would you be willing to talk to me?
I'm totally killing the mood, Kurt thought. But he was getting tired of things being expressed physically between them. Sometimes words were needed.
Plus, Sebastian's voice was kind of one his favourite sounds in the world. And Kurt loved the way the boy expressed himself (when he did).
Really, was it really too much to ask? Their bodies would only get them so far. Kurt needed more. Sebastian better shaped up, not him.
From Sebastian S. (08:19 p.m.): … Tease. What do you call this, if not talking?
Kurt rolled his eyes. Don't play dumb, Smythe.
To Sebastian S. (08:22 p.m.): Dirty talking, that's what I call it. Emphasis on 'dirty'.
I'm not giving up that easy, Kurt thought. For Christ's sake, he just wanted to talk! Was it that hard?
But once he gave it a second thought… what was he doing? Sebastian was in France. It wasn't like they could talk through texts, or phone. Kurt wanted to talk in person.
Maybe he needed to let it be.
From Sebastian S. (08:25 p.m.): You're gonna be the end of me. We'll talk when I see you, okay?
Kurt lips immediately curled up and adopted the shape of a smile. Finally.
To Sebastian S. (08:29 p.m.): :)
Okay, it was a vague promise, made via text. But Kurt needed Sebastian to know that it was a good thing. That talking would be good for them. There was nothing to be afraid of. Kurt only had nice things to say, after all.
From Sebastian S. (08:31 p.m.): Oh, just kill me already…
Kurt rolled his eyes and couldn't help but wondering. It would be at least a month until they could see each other. A whole month.
Yet he needed to stick to his points. I know what I'm doing, Kurt repeated to himself. I'm looking out for myself. For both of us. He'd have to fight Sebastian a little – that was all.
To Sebastian S. (08:34 p.m.): Jerk ¬¬
From Sebastian S. (08:40 p.m.): Whatever. I'm alone and horny.
From Sebastian S. (08:42 p.m.): And knowing you were touching yourself thinking of me would've been quite a nice, soothing image.
Kurt couldn't help but smile again. How did Sebastian manage to sound sweet when he was actually being kind of smutty?
And, above all, how could the boy not know that he was all Kurt could think of? Intimately and… emotionally?
To Sebastian S. (08:44 p.m.): … I do that every night, idiot
Did I really just send that? Kurt thought, alarmed. The worst part was that he hadn't intended to sound dirty. He was actually trying to reassure Sebastian.
Kurt snorted. His mind process was getting kind of funny. What kind of way of reassuring someone was that?
From Sebastian S. (08:46 p.m.): Aww. Good to know. :)
Idiot, Kurt thought, chuckling. Seriously, these were the most awkward compliments ever. Sweet and dirty, all at once.
To Sebastian S. (08:48 p.m.): You're disturbing.
From Sebastian S. (08:50 p.m.): And you love it. ;)
Kurt had to bit his lip. Of course he did. In fact, he felt almost addicted to Sebastian's dysfunctional love displays.
And what's wrong with that? He wondered. Nothing, that is. Then it occurred to him that Sebastian had wanted a mental image of him, Kurt Hummel, to feel less lonely and to ease his horniness.
Kurt couldn't be too sure that the boy hadn't already banged someone else. And Sebastian had every right to. But that didn't mean it didn't unsettle Kurt.
Kurt had a crazy idea then. He preferred Sebastian to be horny about him, even if that meant overcoming how awkward sexting made him feel.
To Sebastian S. (08:52 p.m.): I do… okay, we can dirty talk if you want to :)
Kurt chuckled then, already picturing Sebastian's surprise.
From Sebastian S. (08:57 p.m.): As touched as I am that my gayface actually offered, I'm going out now. But knowing that you'll jerk off to the image of me tonight is priceless. I'll keep that in mind all night… ;)
Kurt blushed furiously. That's… cute, he thought. Was he losing it? How could a text like that be cute? And yet it was. Maybe not for someone who didn't understand their dynamic, or who didn't get Sebastian. But Kurt got him. Kurt so got him and loved what he saw.
Sebastian's sweetness was his kind of sweetness. Kurt liked it and couldn't help it.
To Sebastian S. (09:03 p.m.): That was somehow sweet, I think. Or maybe I'm getting equally disturbing. Take care meerkat :)
Kurt buried his head on the pillows and cursed. He knew now why he was screwed, why he had been screwed all along. He was in love with Sebastian.
/
A few days later, Kurt would be forced to think that the texting between Sebastian and him had been a one-time thing, even though he felt the need to talk to the boy all the time. Still Kurt knew he needed to learn some restrain.
Truth to be told, it had been easier to restrain himself and to focus on his own life right until those texts took place. Ever since, Kurt had realised what he felt for Sebastian was stronger than he had thought, and that terrified him.
And if it terrified him, how could not terrify Sebastian?
Thankfully Rachel came along that weekend, proving to be a good distraction. Her TV-show was on a hiatus and she had a few days break that she'd spread out between Lima and New York. What she didn't expect was to find a new roomie when she got home. So, naturally, she dragged Kurt to his bedroom with a dramatic expression as soon as said boy came back from work.
"When were you planning on telling me that now Sam lives here?" the girl asked frantically, pointing a finger at him.
"Oh… that" Kurt shook off Rachel's tight grasp on his arm. "It's just for the summer, Rach. We were both feeling a little lonely" he pouted.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't pout! It doesn't look good on you" she bit back annoyed.
Kurt sighed. "Rachel, come on! What's the big deal? You don't even live here anymore!"
Rachel's jaw fell open with shock. "That's a very mean thing to say, Kurt Elisabeth" her finger dropped.
Kurt rubbed her arm. "Oh, honey, you're still my number one roomie, and this will always be your home… but you live in L.A. now" Kurt told her carefully.
Rachel looked away. "I know. It also gets a little lonely out there, you know?" she bit her lip.
Kurt hugged her. "Well, you're here now. And we're gonna have the absolutely most fabulous weekend ever" he said, once they broke the hug.
Rachel gave him a small smile. Sam peeked his head then into Kurt's room.
"Hey, Rach?" the blond boy asked, tentatively.
Rachel startled a little and looked at him.
Sam came in to the room. "So I just changed the sheets on your bed and did some cleaning…" the boy scratched his head, awkwardly. "It should be good now, I think."
"You mean… my bedroom?" Rachel asked, a little surprised.
"Yeah" Sam smiled, brightly. "Everything's just as you left it. I swear" he added, seriously.
"Sam…" she brought a hand to her chest, and gave him a fond smile. Kurt had to roll his eyes. "You didn't have to… I mean, I no longer live here" she said sadly.
"Oh, come on" the boy put an arm around her. "This whole place screams your name" he said, cheerily.
Kurt cleared his throat, loudly.
"And yours too, dude" Sam added, reluctantly. "I'll take the couch for a few days, it's no problem" he assured them both.
/
Time didn't seem to run fast enough. Kurt kept finding himself longing for the tiniest gesture from Sebastian, then pissed at himself for having always his mind wandering off like that. Rachel had been talking for two hours now and Kurt's attention was anywhere but on his living room.
God, what's going on with me? Kurt didn't want to be that dependant. He wanted to only depend on himself. But this wasn't some silly, temporary crush. Some rebound, as people had thought at first. Kurt knew what he was feeling was real, and what could he do if his feelings were that consuming? He was human, after all.
"Kurt, where are you?" Rachel asked him with an amused expression. "I just said I saw Gena Rowlands at the studio lot – Gena Rowlands! You love that woman. Granted, I just saw her on the distance, but I'm quite sure it was her" she said convincingly, and Sam nodded to back her up.
Kurt's bubble exploded. "You saw Gena Rowlands? The Gena Rowlands?" he asked, astonished. Rachel smiled brightly. "Oh, God, I hate you!" he chuckled. "Did you ask for her autograph?" Rachel looked down. "Anything?" the girl shook her head. "No?" Kurt asked, disappointed.
"She was getting in a car and I- I froze" Rachel admitted, then took a sip of wine. "Anyway, what's got you so out of it?" she asked again. Although Kurt hadn't heard it the first time.
"Out of what?" he asked, confused.
Rachel seemed exasperated. "Of here! God, you're not even listening to any of my anecdotes!" she protested dramatically. "I have tons" she told Sam, nodding for emphasis.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm not out of-" he defended, but Rachel's 'cut the crap' expression made him back down. "Fine, I'm distracted, okay?" he admitted irritated.
"Okay" Rachel said, then eyed him suspiciously.
"He just misses Sebastian, cut him some slack" Sam told Rachel, innocently.
Both Kurt and Rachel looked shocked. "Oh" Rachel made, "right."
They fell in the most awkward silence ever.
"Who wants some ice cream?" Kurt asked, getting up abruptly.
"I do" Rachel said, relieved.
Sam got up. "I'll help you."
"Hey, you okay?" Sam asked Kurt on a whisper once they were preparing the ice cream bowls.
"Yeah" Kurt nodded almost automatically. What else could he say?
"You sure, dude? You looked kind of tense when I brought up Sebastian" Sam added, tentatively. "I mean, did something happen? You looked fine the other night…"
Kurt had to stop fidgeting with the bowls and the spoons and took a deep breath. "I- um… don't know" he said, giving Sam a tired look.
Sam patted his back. "You'll figure it out" he told Kurt, and Kurt couldn't help but remember the time Sebastian had said to him the exact same words right before Kurt made the decision to allow himself to feel whatever he was feeling. Ironically, the situation seemed similar enough. Just that this time, his feelings were more intense.
They made his way back to the couch, and Rachel waited no more to interrogate Kurt.
"Okay, I need a Sebastian-rehash. What did I miss?" she asked Kurt, intrigued.
Kurt casted her an awkward smile. "Not much, I think" he answered, evasively.
Sam snorted. "Sebastian's in France and they won't text or Skype" he informed Rachel. Kurt sighed, exasperated.
"Really?" Rachel asked, surprised. "I mean… on the other hand… you guys are not exactly dating, are you?" she seemed genuinely confused.
Kurt couldn't supress a chuckle. "It's confusing, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically, not hiding his bitterness.
"Kids these days…" Sam joked, making Kurt relax a little.
"We texted the other day" Kurt let slip.
"Uh-hu" Sam made, waggling his eyebrows.
"Well, don't look so happy, I started it" Kurt informed him, chuckling. "But it went well, I think" he said, his mind momentarily wandering off. Sebastian's last text had been just too... sweet?
"Oh my God, you're blushing!" Rachel accused him. "Oh, I don't even wanna know!" she laughed dramatically.
"Did you guys sext?" Sam asked, his jaw on the floor and looking genuinely interested.
"Oh, dear, no!" Kurt shushed them, blushing further. "We did not!" he assured them, but they wouldn't stop chuckling now. "I'm serious! It's just that Sebastian can be a little suggestive, sometimes…" he tried to explain. "Anyway, who cares? That was days ago. He won't text me again, and he won't be back till the end of August so…"
"Kurt" Rachel said suddenly, and when Kurt looked at her she was wearing Rachel Berry's signature bright smile. "I just had a great idea" she nodded, enthusiastically.
Kurt gulped. He loved the petite girl, but her ideas could be a little crazy sometimes. "What?" he asked, coyly.
"Okay, first of all: don't judge me, but I spend a lot of my time on Facebook lately" she admitted, looking slightly insecure for a brief moment. "But it's the only way I have to keep in touch with all of you, okay? And my dads, and the glee club… " Rachel ranted, until she realised none of the two boys were saying anything. "And by the way, do you even check Facebook sometime Kurt? Your wall is kind of dead" she said, making a face. Kurt rolled his eyes. He couldn't care less. "Anyway" she shook her head disapprovingly, "last month I friended Sebastian" Kurt's eyes widened with shock.
"Why would you do that?" he asked, glaring at her.
"Hey, don't look at me like that" Rachel covered her face, alarmed. "It's just Facebook, and he had been so nice to me with all the Funny Girl thing" she explained. So nice was a little exaggerated, but Kurt couldn't blame her. Rachel wasn't used to people being remotely nice to her. "And let me tell you – he is always online" Rachel assured Kurt.
"What's your point here?" he asked, tiredly.
"My point is" she said, looking as confident as ever, and dammit, Rachel Berry's confidence was kind of contagious, "that you've been keeping such a low profile on the social media that he'll have no choice but to notice if you suddenly upload, let's say, some pictures" she suggested, lifting her eyebrow. "Okay, I haven't come up with a whole strategy just yet, but I'm just saying – you should make some noise!"
"Hu" Kurt made, scratching his chin. That rang a bell. On his second week at Vogue, Isabelle had made him pose with some jackets for a photography test. "I might have just the right material" he said, cockily. He just hadn't uploaded any of it because he was following Santana's advice to heart. Although he kind of had betrayed it when he texted Sebastian the other night… "Oh, but this is silly, Rach. What am I, fifteen?" he asked, sarcastically.
"Dude" Sam said, somewhat resented. "I upload my shoots all the time. I mean, not all of it, because it's like 500 photos looking just the same, but, well, you know" he explained.
"That's different, Sam" Kurt rolled his eyes. "You're not trying to get anyone's attention" Kurt said bluntly, then realised what he had just said. Who said Sam wasn't trying to get anyone's attention? Sam's blush definitely said differently.
"Mock my idea all you want" fortunately, Rachel was still on 'mission' mode, "but those things work. People are that simple" she said, and Kurt wished the girl just stopped talking, judging by Sam's even redder cheeks.
"Works for you, Rach?" Kurt asked, maliciously.
The girl looked taken aback. "I- I don't know. I mean- I guess. Works for everybody, I think" she admitted, suddenly very interested on a napkin.
Kurt sighed and threw back his head. Who did he want to fool? He was on a mission too.
/
Saturday night came along and Rachel wouldn't shut up about going to Callbacks. The brunette claimed to miss the place and promised all she needed was a song, then they could leave.
This time they were a majority of straights, so going to a gay bar wasn't exactly appealing, nor for Sam or Rachel. But Kurt wasn't exactly feeling like having that kind of night – he was simply feeling cheerier again.
Somehow, uploading those silly pictures to his Facebook page had acted like an adrenaline-shot-to-the-heart. Santana said it better: he could both take care of himself and do something about Sebastian, couldn't he? It was not incompatible.
And yes, Kurt might not want to admit this to anyone, but taking care of the Sebastian thing had made him feel better. Sue him. That didn't mean he was dependant… did it? Oh, boy, Kurt preferred not to think about that.
Anyway, they reached Callbacks and of course Rachel didn't settle for just one song. She demanded two solos and a few group numbers with both Kurt and Sam. Two beers later, Kurt was delighted.
He was heading to the bar searching for his third beer when one hand grasped his arm tightly. Kurt startled.
"Kurt?" Andy was standing right in front of him, with a pleased smile.
Dammit, Kurt thought. He was not even remotely happy to see the blond boy. Last time they "talked" (more like 'texted'), Kurt had asked him out. Ups.
"Andy, hey" Kurt tried not to sound too forced. "What are you doing here?" he frowned.
"Are you kidding me? I love this place!" the guy replied enthusiastically.
"Really" Kurt asked, but it was quite rhetorical. And suspicious. "Do you sing?"
"Not really" Andy shrugged. "But it's fun, isn't it? Plus, my friends do. I mean, you've heard Sebastian, haven't you?" he asked, in a confidante way.
Kurt felt a chill down his spine and got rigid.
"Seb- Sebastian?" he stuttered. "Is he- Is he here?" No, he couldn't be… right?
"Oh, no, no… he's in France" Andy said casually. "But he loves coming here."
Kurt frowned. How come he didn't know that? Plus, how come they had never come across each other here? Then it hit him. Kurt hadn't really come much to the place since "the Teenage Dream incident". What a terrible night.
"Oh. Right" Kurt made, awkwardly. "Have you… heard from him?" he asked tentatively, hoping really hard not to be too obvious.
Andy shook his head. "None of us have" his expression got thoughtful for a brief moment. "You know, actually- we've been all talking about him lately" he said, and Kurt's stomach got funny. "He's been acting kind of weird" Andy told him lowly, like it was not official.
Kurt saw it clearly. This was his chance to find out once and for all what the hell happened the night with the weird phone call.
Kurt tried to exaggerate his surprise, because somehow he wasn't surprised at all.
"Really? Wow. Weird how?" he asked, then had an idea. "Hey, you want a refill? We could sit in the bar and catch up… What do you say?" he asked with a soft tone, and casted Andy a cheeky smile. He was on a mission, after all.
"Sure!" Andy agreed, maybe a little too excitedly for Kurt's taste.
They reached the bar and sat on a couple of stalls. Suddenly, Rachel's voice filled the bar. She was doing a Celine Dion rendition, of course.
"Is that your friend Rachel over there?" Andy asked, pointing to the stage perplexed.
Kurt nodded and gave her a look, then realised Sam was standing right next to her on the stage, with a microphone in hand. Kurt's jaw fell to the floor. "And Sam" he added.
"Boy, can she sing" Andy seemed mesmerised. "See, this is why I'm bi, you know?" he asked Kurt, though it was rhetorical. "I mean… wow, she's outstanding."
Kurt couldn't help but smile. So Andy was bi… it seemed like Sam might have some competition… Then he shook the thought away and focused on his "mission" again.
"So, you were saying… Sebastian's being acting weird?" Kurt asked again, casually. "I mean… I haven't seen him in a while… Maybe even before the night you told me you were going to his place, I think" Kurt scratched his chin, thoughtfully. He mentally congratulated himself, though. Points for subtlety.
"Oh, that's long" Andy replied, still kind of distracted by Rachel. Thankfully, Sam chose that moment to join her, and the song became a duet. Andy pulled back his eyes from the stage, looking defeated. "Yeah, I mean…" Kurt could tell Andy hadn't heard much of what he had said. "One night he invites over to prepare a play – you know, saying he'd stick around for a couple more weeks in the city, then next thing I know the guy's leaving for France and doesn't even give us an explanation."
"Mm" Kurt knew that much. That much was not enough. "And he acted completely normal that night?" Kurt inquired, hoping he wasn't being too curious.
Andy didn't seem to notice. "That night? Oh, no, not at all" he chuckled, amused. Kurt frowned. "I mean, when we got to his place, the guy was so wasted we couldn't really work much."
Kurt couldn't help but find unnerving how Andy kept repeating "the guy" when referring to Sebastian. He had a name! For Christ's sake. And a beautiful one!
Andy continued. "I remember he wouldn't stop babbling nonsense about marble, I think?" Andy chuckled. Kurt got pale. Marble? "And then, all of a sudden, this random guy appears knocking on his door, claiming they had agreed to meet on Grindr, and Sebastian kicks him out." Andy's annoying chuckle was starting to get under Kurt's skin. "Crazy night" the blond boy added, then took a long sip from his beer.
Kurt wouldn't speak. Even if he had wanted to. Grindr. Marble. Crazy. Yes, crazy indeed.
"So…" Andy eyed him suspiciously after a few seconds. Kurt realised then he had worn an expression of silent shock for way too long.
"Hm?" Kurt asked, giving Andy a small smile.
"What's the deal with you two?" Andy seemed confused. Get in line, Kurt thought amused. "I mean, are you guys like… dating? 'Cause maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, the Grindr guy looked nuts. Who knows if it wasn't just some creep, right?" he chuckled nervously. Andy clearly looked regretful, like he had just realised he had said too much.
Kurt shook his head, alarmed, and patted Andy's back. "Oh, no, no… rest easy – you didn't say anything wrong. It's okay" then he got up, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. "I think it's my turn now to hit the stage" Kurt commented, seeing as Rachel and Sam's duet was coming to an end.
"Oh, I wanna see that" Andy said, cheery. "But we'll catch up later, right?" he asked, wishfully.
"Right" Kurt lied.
/
Kurt woke up to an unpleasant buzz on his ear. It was his cell phone, buzzing on the nightstand. And judging by how brief it was, it had to be a text.
Damn my light sleep. Woken up by a silly text. It was 9 a.m.! And Kurt was exhausted. And hungover. Extremely hungover.
He grabbed a bottle of water from the floor and drank it all up. Then he checked his phone.
From Sebastian S. (09:08 a.m.): You're trying to kill me or what
Kurt frowned. What the hell was Sebastian talking about? Then Kurt's body got rigid. Sebastian. Grindr. Marble. Andy. Andy! Kurt turned his head to the side and felt a wave of relief running down his body as there was no one lying next to him. Thankfully, his bed was empty and unopened on the right side.
Oh thank Gaga. He sighed.
But wait. He did remember kissing Andy. Or hadn't it been Andy? It'd been a blond boy – that was for sure. Oh, boy, why did he get so wasted? Sebastian. Sebastian! The text message.
To Sebastian S. (09:16 a.m.): Wht ar you taking abou
Kurt's stomach was feeling funny. And pained. Oh, God, why did his body pain so much? He hadn't drunk that much… had he?
From Sebastian S. (09:18 a.m.): The suggestive pictures you posted on Facebook?
"Oh" Kurt made. Apparently people were that simple. He had to give that to Rachel.
Rachel. Rachel! And Sam! What the hell had happened last night? Was Kurt delusional or had he caught them kissing?
From Sebastian S. (09:20 a.m.): By the way, did you forget how to spell?
Kurt didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes, so he just groaned and threw the cell phone away. He was not in the mood for that. Maybe not in the mood for Sebastian? Ah, he didn't know.
What was he so upset about? The Grindr guy? Was that even relevant? Sebastian had kicked him out according to Andy. Andy! Oh, God, Andy.
Another buzz.
From Sebastian S. (09:28 a.m.): Oh, come on. Have some humour. Did I mention you gave me an eyegasm, marble?
Marble. Kurt shook his head, not sure if he found that funny or annoying. He was getting tired of the flirting. And the sexting. And the stupid, stupid arousal that seemed to gain over his body when it came to Sebastian.
Kurt needed to start listening to his heart, as cheesy as that sounded. He missed it.
He read the text again, and his eyes fell over the word 'marble'.
To Sebastian S. (09:33 a.m.): When are you coming back?
Kurt checked the text twice before sending it, just to make sure he hadn't made any spelling mistakes. Annoying meerkat…
From Sebastian S. (09:35 a.m.): Is someone a little eager to see me? :)
Kurt chuckled, imagining Sebastian's smirk. Needless to say, of course Kurt felt eager.
To Sebastian S. (09:37 a.m.): It's just for the souvenirs, meerkat. I expect some silly T-shirt, or some fancy chocolates. I'm really not that exigent ;)
Kurt got up, deciding to finally attend his bladder. That bottle of water was having its consequences.
He crossed the living room but blinked twice and even rubbed his eyes when he realised there was no one sleeping on the couch. Where was Sam? Should he be concerned?
Then his cell phone buzzed on his hand, making him startle.
From Sebastian S. (09:40 a.m.): Mm what will you give me in return?
Kurt sighed and scratched his head. Who was he trying to fool? His arousal would take the best of him as soon as he finally laid eyes on Sebastian.
To Sebastian S. (09:42 a.m.): Am I not enough? :P
Kurt's belly and bladder complained then at unison. He got into the bathroom, feeling dizzy.
Damn beer… Damn shots? He suddenly got a flash of a salty neck. Wait, had he licked that neck? He felt nauseous and kneeled down in front of the W.C. When he couldn't take it any longer, he threw up.
Oh, sweet merciful Gaga, what had he done last night? And with whom?
Another buzz.
From Sebastian S. (09:46 a.m.): Of course you are :) See you in two weeks, marble.
Kurt felt nauseous again, images of shots and Sebastian mingling on his head.
/
Later that morning, a very hungover Sam exited Rachel's bedroom while Kurt held his belly with true care on the couch. They locked eyes and Kurt's got wide. Sam blushed, and pointed awkwardly towards Rachel's room.
"That- was… I mean- that's not… it's really not what it looks like" the blond boy babbled, coyly.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled quietly. "I'm not judging."
Sam got alarmed. "Hey, there's nothing to judge! I swear!" he looked kind of overwhelmed. Kurt took pity of him.
"It's okay, Sam- really, you don't have to explain" he assured the blond boy, giving him a knowing smile.
"Dude!" Sam was not really listening to him. The boy looked freaked out. "We didn't sleep together! I swear!" he repeated, even more fervently this time.
Kurt got up, quite unsettled by Sam's frantic movements.
"Hey, hey, I believe you" he patted Sam's back and dragged him to the kitchen, to make sure his screams didn't wake up Rachel. That would be even more awkward, Kurt feared.
"Look, man – you weren't supposed to see me" Sam said, and Kurt couldn't help but frown now. "I mean…" the boy grabbed the coffee, nervously. "Rachel doesn't have to know I slept there. She would freak out!" Sam covered his face with his hands, alarmed again.
Kurt decided he would take care of Sam's breakfast. Coffee was not a good idea. The boy seemed nervous enough.
"How can't she know already, Sam?" Kurt asked, confused. The girl wasn't stupid.
"Because I told her I would go to the living room as soon as she fell asleep, but then I- I- fell asleep too!" he murmured, lamenting – shaking his head like crazy.
"Sam, you need to calm down" Kurt said then, soothing the boy. "It's really not that big of a deal as you think it is. It's very innocent, actually" Kurt thought out loud, his mind inevitably wandering off to the memory of Sebastian's roughness. Not that he didn't like that, though. But Sam looked quite innocent compared to it.
Sam didn't look any calmer.
"Okay, jeez, we won't tell her" Kurt promised him, giving up. He left Sam with his breakfast and lay down on the couch. He was feeling nauseous again and unable to deal with any drama right now.
Sam followed him, looking calmer now.
"Thanks, man" the blond sighed with relief, then happily attacked his bowl of cereals.
"Don't mention it" Kurt murmured. Like really, don't.
Then Kurt remembered he might need some help too. "Hey, Sam… could you… I mean" Kurt gulped, nervously. There was no easy, or proud, way to ask this.
"Anything you need, Kurt. I owe you my life" Sam said, regarding him intensely.
Kurt contained a chuckle. "You really don't. Anyway, you think you could… maybe, tell me- what I-" he cleared his throat, embarrassed, "oh, God… what the hell happened last night?"
Sam burst out laughing. "You really don't remember?" the boy looked really amused.
Kurt hid his face behind a pillow.
"Oh, you're killing me!" Sam kept laughing. "Oh, damn! If I didn't owe you I would so mess around with you. What a pity" and he looked sad indeed.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "It can't be that bad. Can it?" he asked, scared.
Sam shook his head. "It's not, but I could totally play with your head" he said with a mysterious tone.
Kurt snorted. He so could not. But Kurt let it be.
"Nah, you just fooled around with that Adam guy, but we got you home safely" Sam winked. "Don't sweat."
Kurt was only partially relieved and very confused now. "Adam? Won't you mean Andy?"
"No, Kurt, he means Adam" Rachel said all of a sudden, jumping to sit right next to him on the couch.
"Adam? Adam who?" Kurt asked again, even more confused. Had he been fooling around with a random guy he just met on the bar? Not that he would've preferred it to be Andy, but… at least he could put a face to the guy.
"Adam, as in your Adam?" Rachel asked rhetorically, shaking her head then like she just couldn't stand so much nonsense.
Kurt froze. "What?!" he screamed, with a high-pitched tone he hadn't pulled off since he sang "Defying Gravity" on the glee club reunion. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no…" he mumbled, feeling nauseous again. "No, no, no, no, no! Oh God, no! Why didn't you stop me?" he asked Rachel then, full of resentment.
"Man" Sam interfered, casting him a reproachful look.
Kurt sighed. "Sorry" he mumbled to Rachel, who looked unaffected.
"Well, you looked cheery enough" she shrugged. "And he's a nice guy, so I figured…" the girl started to explain, but Kurt shook his head and cut her, feeling like world had just gone crazy.
"But I'm in love with Sebastian!" he said, exploding.
Both Sam and Rachel looked taken aback.
Kurt gulped, realising how dry his throat was. I feel so stupid.
Rachel's hand was on his shoulder then. "I didn't know that, Kurt. I'm sorry" the girl admitted, truly.
"Yeah, neither did I, dude" Sam added. "But don't worry, from now on I'll help you keep an eye on… um-, well, you" he added, awkwardly.
Kurt couldn't contain a bitter chuckle. "Wow. I'm such a mess" he sighed, resting his head on Rachel's lap, who started stroking his hair all mommy-like.
"Don't say that, Kurt. You're not" she told him off. "You're just… in a very confusing relationship. You should talk to Sebastian, you know" she added, somewhat lower.
"I know" Kurt agreed. Thankfully, Sebastian had promised they would. "Just two more weeks" he remembered.
/
Rachel left on the next day, taking away with her all the craziness from that weekend.
Kurt didn't hear from Adam, nor did he expect to. He wanted to get back to his normal, peaceful working life, and forget any of that had actually happened.
Except that it had, and he had a hickey on the lower part of his neck that proved it. Dammit. Thank God Sebastian wouldn't be there for at least two more weeks. That gave his skin enough time to recover… right? Kurt bought an expensive ointment just in case.
Plus, Adam. It wasn't like Kurt had made out with some random stranger. Adam was a great guy and he didn't deserve to be treated like that.
A week later, though, Kurt still hadn't heard from him. Huh. Would the blond boy regret it just as much as Kurt did? Oh, Gaga, was I that awful?
Yet Kurt knew that was the least of his problems. The biggest one being that upcoming conversation with Sebastian. The talk.
Dear Lord, had that really been his idea? Because it surely was a terrible one. Now that Kurt had come to terms with his feelings in such a drastic way, what could he expect from Sebastian? Or worse yet, what if there was nothing the other boy had to come to terms with?
But that couldn't be right, could it? Not after what Andy had told him. Even Kurt was not that thick. He was marble.
One week and a half later Kurt still had no news of Adam. But neither had he of Sebastian, and that unsettled Kurt way more. Not even a silly text. And his profile page was every day more and more loaded with pictures of the boy having fun. Like, really enjoying himself. He was sporting his bright-like-the-sun smile in all of them, and it tickled something inside Kurt.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Sebastian had looked miserable when he left.
Kurt wanted him to be happy, he truly did, but he also wanted to make him happy. What if he didn't?
Kurt's inner monologue would go on and on and on and on until that Friday morning. He was leaving a coffee shop on a hurry when he bumped into someone.
"Kurt?" a familiar English voice asked.
Kurt trembled and raised his eyes tentatively. "Adam?" Somehow, seeing the blond boy with his full conscience back let Kurt recover some memories from that night.
"Kurt, hey, I've really wanted to call you earlier, but…" the boy scratched his head, clearly embarrassed.
To say Kurt was surprised would've been an understatement. "Why? I mean – I was such a mess the other night… I'm sorry" he apologised seriously, his cheeks and ears burning furiously.
"No you weren't" Adam told him quickly, firmly, but with a kind smile. "You were fun, and gentle, and really, really understanding."
Kurt went mute. "… Was I?" he asked, puzzled.
Adam giggled. "Of course you were, silly. It was me who wouldn't stop whining like a baby about my boyfriend. Really – you, sir, were nothing but great" Adam patted Kurt's back, in a friendly way. Kurt was shocked. "And I hope you noticed how I said 'boyfriend', and not 'ex'" Adam giggled, happily.
"Oh?" Kurt giggled too, just to play along discreetly.
"That's right, we made up" Adam exclaimed, smiling brightly. "I took your advice and I confronted him. I said: you and I need to have a little talk, sir, and… I came clean! And it felt great, Kurt" the boy sighed, relieved.
Kurt was at awe. Hu. Had that really been his advice?
"So what about you?" Adam asked, smiling cheerily. "Did you also talk to this – oh, how did you describe him? – 'passionate yet sweet' boy of yours? He sounded dreamy" Adam chuckled.
Kurt blushed even further. "I- I-" Kurt stuttered nervously. How much did he tell Adam? "I did not" he admitted, bitterly. "Still waiting for him to come back from Europe, I'm afraid."
"Oh, right, right. France" Adam nodded. Apparently he knew that much. "Well, good luck, mate. I'm sure it'll turn out marvellously for you" Adam wished him genuinely, and Kurt felt overwhelmed by his generosity.
Kurt had to giggle, really, because what else could he do? He didn't deserve so much kindness. Not when he didn't even remember talking to Adam.
"Oh, come here, you!" Adam asked him, going for a hug then.
"Oh" Kurt startled, but returned the hug just as enthusiastically. It was the least he could do.
"You deserve the love, Kurt. Now go get it!" Adam encouraged him, once they broke off the hug.
Kurt smiled at him and waved him goodbye while he observed the blond boy leaving with an animated attitude, brightening up the day at his pass. Kurt could not move his feet.
Something felt odd. The way Adam had acted with him… their interaction had been anything but awkward. Plus, in which moment between the mutual whining about their lovers had they started to make out, exactly? Adam couldn't be more in love with his boyfriend. It didn't make any sense. And the hickey. Come on.
Something told Kurt there was some information missing from that night.
He had to talk to Andy. And he had to do it soon.
/
Oh, God. How could he be so stupid? Of course it had been Andy! Kurt had known it from the very moment he opened his eyes that dreadful morning after. What if they had hooked up while Sam and Rachel were… distracted? By each other's uvulas, Kurt thought sarcastically.
Dammit, that Andy boy had such a big mouth. He surely didn't seem like the discreet type. The 'I get some and shut up about it' type.
Crap, what if he had told Sebastian already?
Kurt literally had no time to react, though. As soon as he was greeting Vogue's doorman good-bye, he was presented with the charming view of a very handsome and tanned Sebastian.
Yeah, dreamy was actually just the perfect adjective for him.