I Am… A child

A/N: I don't know if people are going to be mad at me about the last chapter of All Grown Up. I'm going to be honest, I wrote that in about 15 minutes, but before that I think that I wrote and rewrote the last chapter so many times that I lost track.

~Chapter 1~

Connor

I was 5 when my older brother, Grey left Dauntless for the Abnegation. I was 7 when my other sister got married. I was 9 when she had her first kid and 10 when she had her second kid. I was 11 when my older brother Cale got married. I was 13 when he had his first and second children.

I'm 16 today. It's my birthday. I like birthdays. The fact that I'm here and the fact that anyone is here, it intrigues me. It's always intrigued me. I've spent a lot of my time in the school library, which is normally filled with the Erudite students. I don't mind, though. The librarian, Mrs. O'Connor, used to give me odd looks but she doesn't anymore.

This year marks the year that I make my decision; whether I am brave, intelligent, selfless, peaceful or honest. I don't know what I am, though.

I guess that might be the problem. We're supposed to be sure of what we want to do. Maybe my test will help me understand. That's what it's supposed to do, right?

That's what they tell us in school.

Maybe. I don't know.

"Connor?" I pop my head up that the sound of my mama's voice. I'm in the living room, doing my homework, (Geometry, my favorite) with Beast laying at my feet. She smiles and sits in the big chair next to me. "How ya doin' sweets?"

Sweets, I love that name. My mom has always been one for affectionate nicknames. Weird, since we're supposed to be brave. Nicknames have never really been viewed as a brave act.

I nod, letting her know that I'm okay.

"That's good," she smiles through the yawn that escapes her. I nod again while I set my work on the table, shooing Beast off of my lap. "How was school?"

I shrug and Mama nods. "Your dad will be home in a little bit and then we can go over to the cafeteria for supper. How does that sound?" I smile and sign, "okay." "Cool. I need to vacuum in here; Beast's hair is crazy today."

I nod, starting to pack up my stuff. The air is stiff today, I notice. I shrug, not caring anymore and just worry about getting my stuff cleaned. Mom gets like this. Whenever something isn't neat or in the right place, she becomes very strange: running around, trying to fix something that isn't broken, dusting, and going mad over the tiniest detail. She also becomes very loquacious. I have a few classmates like that. They just won't shut up whenever I'm trying to learn.

"Hey, Conner!" I hear, recognizing my Dad's deep, smooth voice. It reminds me of jazz, a music drama from before the wall was built. "How was your day?"

I shrug while throwing a few stray papers into my already overly filled backpack. He asks me this every day and every day I respond the same. It's a nice little routine that we have going on.

"Where's your mom?" I point in the direction of their bedroom. He smiles and makes his way to the room.

I smile and take my stairs into my own room upstairs. It's across from Grey's old room. I don't remember my mom and dad cleaning it out, but the door always stays shut. I haven't gotten the nerve to look in yet, though.

"Connor!" Mom yells, calling me downstairs.

"I didn't hear the vacuum?" I sign.

"Yeah… I didn't think that your dad would be home until later. Sorry, sweetie. Are you ready to go, though?" I nod, grabbing my shoes and following mom and dad out the door to the cafeteria for dinner.

I've never been someone to have a lot of friends. It doesn't help that much that I can't talk. I'm a quite unique person.

My mom always tells me that I was the momma's boy out of all of her kids.

The only reason that I enjoy going to dinner with everyone is getting to see my family. They are all social butterflies, though. They sit with all of their friends at dinner while the little kids run around.

"Connor?" I look up from my mashed potatoes. "Do you want to go and sit with Micha or Kalia?"

I shake my head and finish off my peas, chicken breast and potatoes. I tap my mom on the shoulder, pulling her attention from Christina.

"I'm going home and going to bed," I sign.

"Okay, we won't be home for a little bit I think, but don't wait up for us to get home," she smiles, kissing my head and turning back to her friends. I smile and wave at my dad, as well as my brother and sister. They both give me kind words about tomorrow for the aptitude test.

X

I stay true to my words and go home and go to bed not long after being home for very long. I don't fall asleep, though. I've never been able to go to sleep right away any time when I want to. I even self-diagnosed myself with insomnia.

HEY GUYS! Long time no read right? Yeah… I'm for real sorry about that, but it has been a really long winter. I know that isn't a really good excuse, but trust me you do not want to be in my shoes right now.

I'm really hoping that I am going to be able to write a little bit more, but I can't really guarantee anything because I have a really busy summer coming up. I'm taking an online course (Criminology 101), I have two books to read and analyze over the summer, and I've got a job, finally. I've also got three weeks where I'm not going to be around a computer at all.

I also got diagnosed with TMJ over spring break and I spend a lot of nights with headaches and jaw aches. SO, that is a lot of fun. (Mind the sarcasm.)

I hope that you guys are enjoying this story. I know that I just started it, but I want to know what you think of Connor's characterization. I really put a lot of thought into his character. I think that taking honors English this year really paid a lot more with my writing.

I want to know what you think of this story and the characters so far. I promise that we'll most definitely meet Natalie and Cale's kids. AND if you guys want we can explore Grey and his new life.

~Lauren