"Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart."
― Paulo Coelho
FEAR
It was them. It really was them. All these years, all of this time spent in confinement from them, and there they were. All the lectures his father had given him about the wrongs of incest, all of the nagging his mom had given him abut them, and here they were, trying to find him. He watched as they wandered the arrivals crowd at the Portland Airport, searching for the person who had the face most similar to his. He noticed that Dipper was wearing green shirt under a long sleeved flannel shirt with jeans, and that old hat with the tree on it. Andrew also noticed that he had grown chin stubble. Mabel was wearing a loose fit shirt, having long grown out of her sweater phase, and was wearing a headband. And one more thing. They were holding hands. Boy, if Andrew's father saw that, he would give them one hell of a beating. Both of them. It didn't matter to Andrew's dad.
Andrew just stood there, noticing all these differences of his siblings from the last time he saw them. He froze, afraid to act or do anything. Everything that was happening came crashing in on him: yes, this was actually happening. He was actually looking at his siblings, not the blackened out faces that loomed above the kitchen, the real deal. Andrew didn't want to move. He suddenly became to shy to do anything. All of his insecurities like, "What if they don't like me?", and "What if they don't want to talk to me?", came flooding around him in a giant mess of fear. He was afraid after all this time of waiting to see them again, they wouldn't even like him or talk to him".
"ANDREW!" He heard a voice shout, shattering the moment in time he was frozen in. His heart skipped a beat. He jerked his head up to see Mabel pointing at him and smiling, with her mouth agape. He didn't know what to do. There was no turning back now, he had to do this. He took one step towards them. Dipper was also looking at his older sibling, who had made an age jump from six to thirteen years old since the last time he saw them. Andrew forced every molecule of bravery in him to continue walking towards them. Andrew was trying his best to stop his heavy breathing, trying to conceal any twinge of awkwardness and nervousness from his facial expression. He looked back up to see both of his siblings faces still lighten up as they viewed him.
Mabel couldn't take it anymore and lunged at Andrew in a tight hug, in which Andrew was totally unprepared for. To be honest, Andrew hasn't hugged anyone since the last time he saw them. As Mabel was nuzzling into Andrew shoulder, Andrew just held his arms out, not sure what to do with them. Andrew looked at Dipper, who was laughing at the events of Mabel so intertwined at Andrew, who was basically awkwardly standing there. When Mabel finally released Andrew from her grasp, Andrew leaned back to find the face of his older sister.
"Oh my gosh..I..I can't believe how much you've grown!" was the first thing Mabel had said to Andrew in eight years.
It was true, that Andrew was about three and a half feet the last time he saw her and now he was bordering on six feet. In fact, he was almost as tall as her. Andrew noticed that Mabel was just as tall as Dipper.
"Y..yeah. I guess I am taller" Andrew managed to squeak out.
Dipper all of a sudden held out his hands, in preparation of a hug from Andrew. Andrew stopped. Andrew never was comfortable hugging someone, especially someone who had been absent from his life for eight years. He did the once thing he knew he would be comfortable with. Andrew held his hand out for a handshake. Dipper paused at Andrew's enlarged hand, and after a second, finally got the clue, and hesitantly shook Andrew's hand, confused at Andrew's social awkwardness.
"I just can't believe that you're here!" Mabel said with glee, in hopes of ruining the awkward tension.
Andrew just stood there, not sure what to do about anything. He had waited for this moment fro so long, and he was ruining it with every passing second. He wanted to act like a chilled out suave guy, who wouldn't freak out, who wouldn't say anything stupid, everything he wasn't. But he couldn't just say nothing. He had to force something out.
"I just…I can't…It's just so good to see you!" Andrew chokes out to them.
A wide grin grows on Mabel's face, who then goes in for a second hug. Andrew decided he's going to try his best to accept it. He slowly raises his hand over Mabel's back, and gently sets them down on what Andrew can only guess is her bra strap pushing against the fabric of her clothing.
Sometimes Andrew felt as if he never really got to know his siblings. He was born when they were both 13, and the news about his mother being pregnant again had been broken to them right after they arrived in Piedmont, from that summer in Gravity Falls. God, that summer. He had heard so many stories about that summer, it was hard to piece them together. He remembered staying up with Dipper and Mabel in pillow forts they had built over weekends, hearing countless story, after story, after story. He just assumed they were trying to scare him or something. They were, right?
"Have you guys been hugging long enough?" Dipper asks us jokingly.
Time suddenly caught up to Andrew and he realized he had been locked in a hug with mabel for at least 30 seconds. He looked around and saw that there were people looking on at him, laughing. It reminded him of school, of how people laughed at you for doing the simplest things wrong. But he didn't think they were criticizing him, they had friendly smiles on their faces after all.
"Well, I'm sorry if I want to reconnect with out younger brother, right bro-bro?" Mabel asked Andrew.
Andrew froze. She's never called him bro bro before. She's only called Dipper that, from what he can remember. Then again, he hasn't seen her for years.
"I…You have no idea how much I've missed you guys" Andrew said, feelings his speaking skills were slowly progressing.
"We've missed you too" Dipper replied, still smiling from the joy of reuniting with his younger brother.
Andrew just couldn't believe this was actually happening. He was…talking with his siblings. Actually talking. All they did when he was younger was just play around, but they were speaking like civilized people. Andrew had longed for this moment for so long, but for some reason, something felt…lacking. Felt as if something wasn't all there.
"Well, grab your stuff, we better head on over to Gravity Falls if we don't want to be tired out of our minds!" Mabel cheerfully exclaimed.
Andrew pulled my suitcase behind me as we left the arrivals area of the Portland Airport. They walked down the hallways, Dipper and Mabel leading the way as Andrew trudged along. Andrew noticed that they were holding hands as they were walking. he thought to himself for a minute. His parents never held hands like that. At least he couldn't remember holding hands. What makes their relationship so different from his parents? His dad had explained to him that they were in love the same way "Mommy and Daddy" were in love. But it didn't seem like that. It felt more free. Sure, Andrew knew that it was wrong for them to be together, but the truth was the truth.
They exited the airport into the cold Portland air, it was January after all. It felt much colder than the air in Charleston, Andrew thought. He lugged his suitcase, which Andrew felt he had packed too much in, to a tram bus which led them to a parking lot not far from the airport. For some reason, Dipper and Mabel had decided to park the full distance between the earth and the moon away from the tram drop off station. Dipper and Mabel didn't seem to be cold, or shivering for that matter. Maybe they were just used to it, instead of Andrew, who had spent most of his life growing up in the warm summers of the south. They finally arrived at a car which was painted red, but had a white top to it.
"All aboard the Stanmobile! Hoot hoot!" Mabel exclaimed while pulling her upward arm down.
Dipper helped Andrew load his suitcase in the trunk, and made their way around to the front. Andrew sat in the back, while Dipper and Mabel sat in front.
They pulled out of the parking space and headed out of the parking lot, into the unknown.