Okay, so, I am a terrible, terrible person for being MIA for so long; but life was a little crazy for a while and my writing got put on the back burner. Things have calmed down and returned to normal. I hope you all didn't give up on me and will continue to enjoy this story. Thank you all for reading and please let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Twilight.
Chapter Seven
Johanna's hands were shaking as she raised them from her sides to rest on his solid chest all the while returning the searing kiss he was giving her as best she could. He made a noise of approval against her mouth as his hand left her face and lowered to settle on her side like his other hand before he pressed his body to hers a little more and gently forced her back against her mother's car. Johanna slid her hands up his chest and rested them on his shoulders for a beat before she wrapped her arms around him and rose up on her toes to get as close to him as she could manage. JJ seemed inclined to help her because she swore he practically lifted her from the ground, which she knew was likely impossible but when it felt like her toes were barely brushing the ground as the length of her entire body was against his as he stood slightly she was sure he had. However, she didn't think much of it because all her attention was on the feel of his mouth against hers and how wonderful it felt.
Sadly, decent oxygen was needed and slowly she started to pull away. JJ let her and Johanna felt her feet return to the ground. Her legs were shaking and she leaned against JJ for support as his lips left hers only to press a soft kiss to her cheek and then her forehead. Johanna took a ragged breath and it trembled out past her lips as she opened her eyes and looked up at him. JJ smiled at her, a silly and happy smile, as he raised his right hand and gently brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. That kiss and the way he looked at her then were unbelievable and gave a whole new meaning to fireworks on the Fourth of July for her.
It was nothing like her first kiss, the memory of which was tainted and tarnished by what happened barely seconds after it had happened. It had been with Ian, when she had foolishly thought that he was genuinely interested in her. He'd taken her on a few dates and had kissed her when they left the movie theater in Port Angeles. As soon as he had pulled away Piper, Jon, and the others had seemingly come out of nowhere and were laughing at her, but Ian had been the worst. She didn't want to think of the terrible things he had said to her and the names he had called her. That memory was even more painful than Jon's words from earlier that day; and for a fleeting moment Johanna worried it was going to happen again.
However, nothing happened and JJ gave her a blindingly happy smile as he looked down at her. The air around them was quiet save for the faint sound of those that were in JJ's family's backyard talking and the soft noise of crickets hidden in the grass. In return, Johanna had given him a small uncertain smile while her hands continued to rest on his shoulders. Part of her was as happy as JJ looked, but as nice of a time as she had that night and as wonderful as that kiss had been Johanna feared it wouldn't last.
She knew that JJ meant everything he said to her and that he obviously had feelings for her that went beyond those of friendship, but for how long? She was falling for him and falling for him hard and after that kiss she wanted nothing more than to do it again. However, before things progressed and she was left with a broken heart once he realized just how unspectacular she was she figured it would be best to be honest with him and lay it all out for him. She wasn't sure if right then was the proper time, but she needed to take advantage of her bravery because if she didn't do it then, it was likely that she never would and the heartbreak that would follow with JJ leaving her would be much much worse than if it happened now.
"That was even more amazing than I thought it would be," he said quietly in a soft, raspy, and rough whisper that broke her out of her thoughts. Johanna felt her already heated face flush a bit more at the honesty she saw in his dark eyes and the slight tremor the state of his voice had caused to ripple through her.
"You've thought about it?" she asked, her own voice a bit raspy and breathy.
"Many times," he admitted. It was true and he wasn't ashamed of it, so, he had no qualms in admitting it to her; especially after the kiss they had just shared. He leaned into her again, but Johanna slid her hands on to his chest to stop him. He froze and looked down at her, a small frown on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, I just . . . I need to say a few things before you decide to do that again," she said. The frown remained on his face, but he nodded his head. "I'm boring, JJ," she said and he raised an eyebrow at that declaration. "I don't like to party or skip classes or do anything illegal. I'm not saying that you do or anything, but . . . it's just . . . I like boring things. I like reading and learning about new places and people. I like helping my mom in her garden, quilting, and while I don't like to do it all the time, occasionally I actually do enjoy playing the violin."
"And none of that is bad," JJ said as he shook his head slightly, his hands tightening just a bit on her waist as she looked up at him with tears filling her eyes once again.
"Maybe not," she conceded, but she shook her head and sighed as her eyes left his to rest on her hands that remained on his chest. "You know, I've been off and on diets since I was thirteen and I had actually lost a good deal of weight a couple of years ago, but it's hard to manage when I tend to eat my feelings and I'm told time and time again how disgusting I am and how it didn't matter if I lost a pound or fifty I would still be ugly. How it was pointless to try and change because no guy in his right mind would ever want me."
"I want you, Jo, just the way that you are. You're far from ugly and I'm not crazy," he said and she turned her eyes back up to his, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm going to guess it was your brother that told you that," he said, his anger at her brother once again returning full force as he looked at her and her face that was still illuminated by the flood lights.
"Not just him," she admitted and his hands tightened on her waist again before he wrapped his arms around her, settling his hands on the middle of her back as he pulled her closer to him. "Ian . . . when I was fifteen I'd lost about forty pounds and it was the first time that I actually felt almost pretty. Ian had even asked me out and like an idiot I had said yes." She hadn't meant to tell him that, but before she could stop herself the words were tumbling from her mouth. "We went out a few times, but it . . . it was just a joke. He said things . . . things that I don't ever care to repeat ever again, and ever since I thought that aside from my parents I would always be alone. If you think about it, it's easier that way since it's harder to get hurt, but Jon and the others still managed to do it every day. Then I met Harry and Sarah and Meredith, and Lacy and . . . and you.
"I don't want to be alone, JJ, but it's only been a week," she said as a few more tears fell and JJ felt like his heart was breaking as he looked into her green eyes. If he'd thought he had seen loneliness in her eyes before, it was amplified by a thousand as she looked up at him. "I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for telling you all of this, but I need to. I need to give you an out and if you don't really mean any of this, please take it now. I can handle Jon saying the things he says to me and even Ian, but if . . . if you turned on me, I honestly don't think I would survive it."
"Johanna," he said, his voice heavy with his own rollercoaster emotions that were presently filling him. She looked down at her hands on his chest again and he wanted to turn her eyes back up to his, but he kept his arms around her and held her to him.
Part of him wanted to never, never, let her go and another part of him wanted to tear Ian and her brother limb from limb and anyone else that had ever hurt her. However, he managed to settle on a middle ground. He'd deal with Jon and Ian later, he had unresolved issues with them anyway for the whole cliff incident. Johanna needed him in that moment and he hoped that he could find the right words.
"Jo, everything that I've said and everything I've done I've meant," he said, his voice still heavy as his hands moved to gently grasp her upper arms. "I don't need you to give me an out and I don't want one. I just want you, and I mean that. I mean that more than I've ever meant anything before in my life. You don't have to be scared, not with me, not ever with me." Johanna sniffed quietly before she turned her eyes up to his yet again. She looked up at him, and while she was surprised by his words part of her knew she shouldn't have been. Her heart was racing as he took her face into his hands, his thumbs wiping at her fallen tears. "You're not alone anymore, Jo," he whispered. "You have me, and you'll always have me."
"JJ," she breathed, but before she could say much more than that he once again pressed his lips to hers. This time, she was much faster to return his kiss and his hands left her face to wrap around her once more while her hands slid up and took his face in her hands. She was trembling, he could feel her body shiver slightly in his arms and the gentle shake of her hands as her left hand remained on his cheek while her right found its way into his short hair. He let out a quiet moan at the feel of her nails scraping along his scalp and she gasped against his lips, which he took full advantage of and deepened their kiss even more.
JJ moved forward a half step, which forced Johanna against the side of her car as he continued to kiss her while she eagerly kissed him back. JJ's left hand settled on her upper waist as his right hand gently cupped her left cheek. Johanna's left hand left his face to rest on his chest, but her right hand remained firmly laced in his hair as she wished for the moment to never end. However, once again oxygen was soon needed and JJ very reluctantly brought the amazing kiss to an end. Once again both of them were practically panting for breath as JJ rested his forehead against hers for a beat before he lifted his head and looked down at her. Her hand slid from his hair to rest on the side of his neck, but her eyes were still closed and her cheeks were flushed as her face remained upturned towards his. Slowly, Johanna opened her eyes and looked up at him, her cheeks darkening even more before she gave him a small smile.
"I believe you," she said and those three words from her not only lifted a heavy weight off his shoulders, but even Johanna seemed more at ease and at peace as she looked up at him. Her eyes were no longer lonely or sad as she looked up at him and he could clearly see tender affection and shining hope as he looked into her eyes. He just hoped that when he finally revealed everything to her she still looked at him the way she was looking at him then.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked, his voice quiet.
"I have church in the morning," she said, "but I'm free after."
"What time?" he asked as he ran his thumb along her cheek.
"Noon."
"Can I pick you up at twelve-thirty? I want to take you somewhere," he said and Johanna found herself nodding. She knew she would have to ask her parents, but she highly doubted that either would care. JJ smiled at her then before he leaned in and kissed her chastely once more. "I'll see you tomorrow then," he whispered and Johanna was sure her face was on fire it was so heated, but she did manage a small smile before she nodded once more.
"Okay," she said in return before JJ started to pull away from her. Her hands fell to her side as he stepped back and after a beat she pulled out her car keys.
"Drive safe and text me when you get home," he said and she nodded once again.
"I will," she promised as she pushed herself away from the car and started to turn to open it, but JJ caught her right arm and she looked up at him expectantly only to have him kiss her chastely yet again. He hadn't intended to kiss her again, but now that he'd kissed her he couldn't get himself to stop. That would likely cause problems if he didn't manage to get that under control.
"Good night, Jo," he said when he finally pulled away and Johanna let out a quiet giggle as she looked up at him. He smiled at the sound while she blushed in mild embarrassment before she bit her swelling lower lip, which only made him want to kiss her again. However, he managed to refrain from doing so as he let go of her arm and took a half step back from her.
"Good night, JJ," she said softly before she climbed into the car. After buckling her seatbelt and starting the car, she waved at him one final time before she backed out of the driveway and made her way back to Forks. Smiling to himself JJ tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans before he made his way around the house to rejoin his family and friends only to have the small group fall silent once he walked around the house and headed towards them
"What?" he asked, his tone defensive, when he caught the grins and knowing looks on practically all of their faces. Even his grandpa was grinning at him and sent him a wink when JJ met his gaze and pulled his hands out of the pockets of his jeans before he sat back down in the spot he had vacated when he had walked Johanna to her car.
"You were gone for almost thirty minutes," Sarah said, eyebrows raised as she looked across the fire at him. "It shouldn't have taken you more than five minutes to walk Johanna to her car, say goodbye, and come back. Care to share why it took you so long?"
"Not really," JJ said back, his voice even, and everyone laughed. JJ couldn't help but grin at his family's/friends' reaction to his response before his thoughts settled back on Johanna and their date tomorrow afternoon.
When Johanna parked her mother's car beside her father's she realized that she was still smiling and had been smiling since she had left JJ's parents' house. She was happy. Happier than she was pretty sure she had ever been and it was all because of JJ. Sure, there was still a tiny part of her that doubted JJ and his intentions, but a larger part of her believed him because he had never given her any cause not to and after that night . . . well, she was pretty convinced that he really meant everything he said. Still smiling, she climbed from her mother's car and felt like she practically floated to the front door. The living room lights were on, so, Johanna knew her parents were awake and thankfully Jon's car was nowhere in sight. She really didn't want to see her brother and have her good mood disappear.
"Well, someone looks like they had a nice time," Elise said from where she sat on the sofa, settled into David's side, and Johanna smiled at her parents as she closed and locked the front door before she stepped out of her shoes and walked into the living room.
"I did have a nice time," Johanna said as she nodded her head before she nervously tucked her hair behind her ears, remembering she had a question to ask her parents. "Um, JJ wants to hang out tomorrow. I'm not sure what we're going to do, but he said he'd be here at twelve-thirty to pick me up. Would it be okay if I go?"
"JJ? Is that the boy your mom told me brought you home last week? Sarah's older brother?" David asked, brow furrowed and Johanna nodded. "Is your 'hanging out' tomorrow a date?" David asked, using air quotes and everything.
"Possibly," Johanna said and David raised an eyebrow as he looked at his daughter, who blushed lightly before she nodded her head. "Yes, Dad, it's a date."
"I knew that boy liked you," Elise said happily as she quickly stood from her seat and rushed over to Johanna and hugged her tight. Johanna laughed and felt her blush deepen as she hugged her mom back. "You're first date! Oh, this is so exciting," Elise said as she pulled back, but kept her hands on Johanna's upper arms.
"Mom, it's not that big of a deal; we've hung out before already," Johanna said, her face still read, but Elise just continued to smile like she'd just won the lottery she looked so happy.
"Now hold on, Elise," David said as he too stood and walked over to the ladies in his life. "How old is JJ?" David asked, his eyes back on Johanna while Elise lowered her hands from Johanna's arms.
"He's twenty-one," Johanna said, remembering his answer from their talk at the restaurant in Port Angeles.
"Twen – Johanna Marie, you only just turned seventeen last month," David said and Johanna sighed, but before she could say anything Elise put a gentle hand on her husband's chest.
"David," Elise said softly. "Let's reserve judgment of the young man for after we meet him. Besides, I was sixteen and you were twenty when we first met and I was seventeen on our first official date. He's no older than her than you were me when we started dating." David heaved a heavy sigh before he put his hand over Elise's that was on his chest before he looked at Johanna.
"All right, you can hang out with JJ tomorrow but only after we talk to him," David said. "I'd like to know more about the boy before I let you go off with him on your own." Johanna nodded before she smiled up at her dad. Sure, she'd been alone with JJ a couple of times now, but after the events of the night things were going to be different and Johanna was both nervous and excited for the new developments.
"I'm sure he won't mind, Dad," Johanna said. "Thank you." David smiled down at his daughter before his hand left Elise's and he held out his arm to her. Johanna laughed before she moved over to her parents and hugged them both at the same time. It was a brief hug and Johanna stepped back from her parents, her smile still on her face. "I'm a bit tired, so, I'm going to head up to bed."
"Sleep well, sweetheart, and we'll see you in the morning," Elise said and with one last nod Johanna turned on the balls of her feet and made her way to the stairs. She went upstairs and slipped into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Once that was done she went into her room, closed her door, quickly changed into her pajamas, and turned down her bed before she pulled out her cell phone and sat down on her bed.
"Home safe and sound," she texted to JJ and what felt like barely two seconds later JJ was calling her. She smiled before she laughed softly and quickly answered her phone. "You could have just texted me back, you know," she said, her voice quiet.
"I know," JJ said with a chuckle, "but I wanted to hear your voice one more time." Johanna couldn't help but laugh as her cheeks warmed in another blush and she heard JJ sigh. "That was kind of cheesy wasn't it?"
"A bit, but I don't mind. It's nice," she said. "Since you called, I need to warn you about something."
"What?" he asked and Johanna smiled.
"My parents want to officially meet you tomorrow and like with the girls you're probably going to go through a small interrogation. I'll apologize for my dad now," she said and JJ laughed once more.
"No need to apologize and I'll be ready," he said. Johanna smiled before she yawned quietly. She didn't think JJ heard her, but his next words told her that he did. "You're tired," he said quietly, his tone tender and making goose bumps rise across Johanna's skin. "Get some sleep, Jo, and I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."
"Okay," she said. "Good night JJ."
"Night Jo," he said and Johanna reluctantly ended the call before she lowered her phone and rested it against her chest as she bit her lower lip. Johanna knew then that she was likely in over her head when it came to how her relationship was changing with JJ, but she trusted him and even if it may crash and burn in the end leaving her with a broken heart she would enjoy the ride until then.