Chrysanthemum (4)

Besides Aoko's frequent texts and nagging reminders, she would call and ask her father for a day of his time, just to have dinner together. Since they weren't living with each other anymore, she could tell he was putting effort to keep to his promise, though his packed and impromptu meetings at his headquarters was hard to make prior arrangements work out.

But it wasn't entirely his fault for their agreed plan to end up a failure sometimes. Aoko also got called back when something bad happened to the baking studio, or her colleague caught a flu and wasn't able to conduct lessons. She calculated that it was always one-third of a chance their dinners ran well without hiccups, so it was considered lucky to have a meeting at least once a week, which they had been doing so for the past two years.

When her father hadn't called fifteen minutes before the time to meet, Aoko smiled a little brighter as she waved her goodbyes to her colleagues and receptionist before heading to the restaurant just a street away. It was a place Keiko recommended, and she was hopeful that her father would enjoy it there.

Aoko reached right on time, and surprisingly, her father was actually earlier than her. She pointed at the corner of the restaurant before the waiter was about to inquiry about the number of seats and snaked her way towards the table where her father sat.

"Hello Dad."

He perked up and handed Aoko the menu once she sat down on the seat across him. They exchanged brief greetings and focused on choosing their food before starting any conversations. Once the waiter left with the orders, Aoko gleefully picked up the bag she placed by her feet and passed it over the table. Her father sighed once he looked at the content.

"Not this again."

"It's good for your health." Aoko pulled out the bottle of tonics to point at the labels, emphasizing on her point. "You're growing old, Dad. You need these."

"I know my health well enough." He set the bag aside and Aoko pouted, giving him a warning sign of her possible long rants. Knowing her patterns pretty well, he reassured that he would finish them like what she wanted and with that, she was satisfied enough to let the matter drop and continue onto the next subject.

Aoko was in the middle of complaining about Kasumi, a new colleague who recently been targeting and pulling her students away from her class when she noted how distracted her father was. She stopped and followed his gaze, which was out of the window and onto the street beside them. She frowned and glanced back at him.

"What's wrong?"

He snapped his attention back at her. "It's nothing."

She frown deepened. "Come on, what is it?"

Her father sighed as he stared at the streets again. "I'm wondering about Kaitou Kid."

"Oh." Aoko slouched. It meant the world to her that her father tried his best to fork out time for this, and she knew she shouldn't push her luck by making Kaitou Kid a taboo for their conversation. She took a sip of the complimentary water, giving herself some time to process her thoughts. Even if she knew how bad it felt to be talking about this, especially when she knew the truth... Kaitou Kid was basically her father's life, even before she was born. Aoko tried to respect that as much as she could.

"What about him?" She continued.

"There's been some suspicious people lurking about during his heists recently."

"Hardcore fans?"

"If they were fans, they sure aren't friendly ones." He muttered before he hardened his gaze over at Aoko. "You remember the incident two years ago, when Kaitou Kid was shot?"

Aoko bit the inside of her cheeks. Of course she remembered the day like it happened a second ago. The redness, his raspy breath, her salty tears and the scent of metal... She unconsciously cupped her mouth in horror, forcing every nerve in her body not to retch at the memory of Kaito's blood soaking her hands. Aoko cleared her throat and used the pretense of coughing to cover up the mistakes she made.

"Yeah." She nodded calmly.

"They were something similar. Or even the same." He clenched his teeth, continuing. "If this goes on, Division 1 may be involved."

She had no idea what to say. Other than Kaitou Kid's real identity, Aoko knew nothing about everything. Kuroba Kaito refused to tell her, and the secret room she chanced upon gave her no clues to anything. She was no different from her father about the thousands of answers she wanted to know, regarding the thief and his ways.

It was supposed to be none of her concern now, but why was there this feeling of unease in her heart?

"Sorry, I should've put work aside." Her father straightened his posture, perhaps mistaking her silence as anger for his negligence, which was what she often complained about in the past. He loosened his tie and placed his chin on the palm of his hand. "So do you have a boyfriend?"

Her mood didn't improve. This wasn't a conversation Aoko was looking forward to.

"No, I do not."

"When are you getting one?"

"Dad, you can't get one as and when you like."

He leaned back on his seat, eyes raised. "After you've broken up with Kaito-kun for so long, I thought living in town will prove a better chance for you."

If Aoko tried hard enough, she could vision Kaitou Kid as Kaitou Kid, the phantom thief with white cape who boldly stood on roofs and smirking like a winner, just to make it less painful to hear or speak his name. For Kuroba Kaito... She couldn't imagine him as anything but Kuroba Kaito, the one she loved, hated and invested all her feelings into. Aoko couldn't think about his name as its own without stirring all the anger and pain in her chest.

Nonetheless, Aoko forced a grin. If she insisted her father to stop talking about him, it wouldn't validate those times she convinced him it was a mutual break up between them. Besides, it wasn't as though her heart wasn't trained for this moment. Her two-times meeting that occurred for the past month did help to cushion the blow.

"I know my love life well enough."

"You're my only daughter. I want to make sure."

"Dad."

"Actually, maybe your tonics will be suited more for Kaito-kun than me." He glanced down at the bag. "He looked like a different man the last time I saw him."

She lowered her gaze. "Is he...?"

On the cue, their food finally arrived to the table, nicely interjecting the topic Aoko wished it didn't start and they moved on to discuss about the food, something that Aoko found the only comfortable thing they had talked about that day.

.o.

It was raining heavily that night and Aoko barely kept herself dry under the small umbrella she carried all the way home. An easy fifteen minutes' walk from her baking studio dragged till thirty because of all the slippery steps and steep slopes she had to look out for.

Once she got sheltered, Aoko shook her wet umbrella, water droplets dripping everywhere as she walked up the metal steps to her home on the second floor. It was lucky there wasn't much wind, or the whole corridor would have been a bigger wet mess. A flash of lightning lit the area much brighter than the pathetic lights along the corridor, and a soft thunder could be heard rolling at a distant a few seconds later. Those two didn't scare her, as least not as much as seeing a figure sitting outside her door.

She gasped out loud, and the lightning struck on the cue, illuminating the floor once again. It was all clear for her to realize the person was none other than Kuroba Kaito, his arms wrapping around his knees to firmly lock it to his chest. Despite her loud presence, Kaito didn't notice her, something which she couldn't believe would happen since his ears were the sharpest ones of all people she met. After her dumbstruck moment that lasted for a few seconds, Aoko approached towards her door tentatively, unsure of what to expect.

It was only till she towered over him, casting a weak shadow over his huddled body then his head shot up, his blue eyes staring right through hers.

Aoko blinked as she watched Kaito frantically stood up. Now that she got a better view, she noted he was drenched from head to toe, and seeing him like that made her shiver in cold for him. She tried searching for clues in Kaito's eyes, and as usual, there was none. There was no choice but to be literal about her questions, and because there was so many of them running through her head, she carefully picked the most important one and decided on it first.

"Are you okay?"

Kaito looked at her with a brief emotion that Aoko recognized as confusion. She should be the one looking like that, she almost said out loud. Aoko sighed inwardly when he glanced away, apparently choosing silence as his answer. He would say yes if he was, lie even if he wasn't or reply in an indirect manner to conceal his feelings. Since he didn't say a word, she guessed he was too broken.

Broken.

She knew how that felt. And it sucked.

"You need something to keep yourself dry. I have some spare towels."

"It's alright." He said hoarsely and turned his back at her. "Sorry. I don't know why and how I ended up here. I should go."

"How are you going anywhere in this heavy rain?" She spat. "If you go-"

Kaito stopped.

It was too late for her to retrieve her words now, might as well she complete her darn sentence. "If you go." She took in a deep breath. "I won't be able to sleep well tonight when I don't know what the hell is wrong with you."

He peered at her over his shoulder and she gave him a pointed look. Defeated, Kaito gradually faced her, though his eyes were on something else.

She decided to take a new approach and treat him like a kid. Ironically, he did look like one, seemingly lost and weak.

"What happened?" Aoko cautiously said. She gave him some time until he dared to look at her and she spoke again. "Is it something bad?"

Kaito clutched his fist so tightly that she noted it was shaking.

"Someone, an innocent bystander, was held hostage during my heist a while ago." He wrinkled his brows, his voice was rough. "The hostage was shot during attempts of negotiation and rescue."

Aoko froze, her mouth moving like a fish. Because the rain was so heavy, her main concern was getting the umbrella to steady over her head. She didn't have the chance to go through the social media to see the news, but she didn't expect it to be like this. The words she remembered her father said during their last dinner came crashing back at her. Those hardcore fans really weren't friendly at all.

Her fingers touched her quivering lips and she hesitantly looked up at Kaito. "Ho-How is the hostage?"

"It was a hit to the arm. The operation went well."

She let out a deep air she didn't know she was holding and touched her chest with a hand, feeling relieved at the final news. Aoko understood the end of her tension was resulted from knowing the good ending of the hostage, but in fact, there was something more to her comfort, which she didn't want to admit out loud or even to herself. She knew Kaitou Kid's number one rule; never to let anyone hurt, and he had always been trying to keep it that way. Even though the rule had been broken, it didn't reach to the point where a life was lost, which Aoko wouldn't know how Kaitou Kid, or Kuroba Kaito, would cope if that happened.

"Everything is fine now." The overwhelming feeling of ease caused Aoko to put out her hand, wanting to reach for his shoulder. Her fingers curled back instantly once she realized what she was about to do and she clasped onto her other arm, making the whole situation a little less awkward. It seemed Kaito didn't notice.

"For a moment-" He lowered his head, water slowly dripping down from his black, messy hair. "For a moment... I thought the hostage was you."

Aoko straightened her back. Was this the reason why he was here? It didn't make sense. Why would he think that way? She glimpsed at the floor he was staring so intently at and sighed.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He glanced up back at her, as if to confirm what she said.

"Then what happened to the bad guys?"

"...They escaped."

Being on this topic, Aoko clutched onto the strap of her bag tightly, deciding to take this wildest chance and hoping she would withdraw an ace from the deck. "Who are they? Are they the same as the ones from two years ago?"

Half of her was expecting him to build the same old wall around his emotions when this situation happened, and half of her was expecting him to finally speak the truth, since he had admitted something so delicate like his fears that haunted him, something Aoko never knew she would ever hear in her life. But it seemed Aoko got a Joker card. This time, Kaito perfected his poker face, revealing nothing that Aoko could even use to guess or decipher at all.

But telling herself not to care this time round was much difficult than expected. Aoko wanted to know, and she was desperate for the answers. Her hands fist into a ball, lips as thin as a line.

"Why can't you tell me anything?"

"It's better if you don't know."

Those words. Those exact six words were the same thing he said to her two years ago. Was it all scripted? His lies, schemes, everything? She narrowed her eyes.

"What is with you and your secrets?"

He looked away.

"I thought I'm important to you, important enough for you to tell me things that everyone else couldn't know but me."

"Aoko-"

"Or perhaps it's because I was important to you." It hurts her to even say this, but she wanted to put her point across, even if she hoped it wasn't true.

"No it's not-"

"Then what is it? Why can't I share your burdens? Why can't I help you with anything? Why are you always doing things alone?"

"I'm-!" Kaito cut in curtly, catching Aoko by surprise. "I'm not strong enough."

"What?" In a millisecond, her widened eyes turned into a scowl. "You're not strong enough? Not strong enough to buck up your ass to admit the truth to me? About how you're thieving and making a fool out of my father 3am in the morning as he chased after you? Is that it? You're not strong enough?"

"Ye- No, Aoko-"

"Then what is it?" She could feel tears brimming her eyes, about to pour just as heavy as the rain outside. "What is it that you-"

His cold, damp hands grabbed her shoulders, silencing her right there and then.

"You'll be in danger if you do." His stern voice hushed through the pitter-patter of the rain.

What?

"The lesser the people who know, the lesser the people who cross their path..." He slowly released his grip, returning her the space and freedom of movement. "The better it will be."

Kaito was visibly struggling with his words, but Aoko let him continue.

"You've crossed their path once, and I almost lose you." He rubbed his hand over his face. "In the end, I lost you in a different way. But it's fine. At least you're okay, even if it's not okay for me."

She gaped incredulously. How is this okay for me...?

"That's why I can't, not again." Kaito dropped his hand to his side, his words slowly, bit by bit, pieced itself together. "I'm not strong enough... to lose you again."

It took her two years just for him to touch on this topic, even if his words didn't answer a single thing Aoko wanted to know. She couldn't imagine the man, standing before her, to be the all mighty Kaitou Kid who flew into the night and causing thousands of people to scream for him. Aoko stared down at her feet, contemplating what else she could say.

If knowing the truth would hurt her in some way, then what about Kaito? What kind of risk was he taking to be wearing the white suit and cape? She bit her tongue, keeping the words inside her. Asking anymore question would be pushing Kaito off the edge, and Aoko didn't want him to feel any more burden than he already was, even when she was more worried than before.

In the end, things got more complicated than she expected. Their bitter arguments in the past about something that she often forgotten in the middle of the bickering would end up resolved once the fury went away. Time would heal, their silent apology was heard and they would laugh about everything together until the next topic of disagreement came about.

This time, nothing was settled. It was a bigger mess, one that Aoko knew it wasn't her to decide if it could be figured out or not.

Her eyes unconscionably travelled to his trembling hand and she looked up, noticing it wasn't just his arm that was shivering.

"Stay here." Aoko dug through her bag and fished out the keys to unlock her door. "You need to dry yourself or you'll catch a cold."

Aoko dropped her umbrella aside and kicked off her shoes, dashing into her room and ransacking all her drawers to find a towel big enough for Kaito. She ran out to the corridor as fast as she came in, her foot stood bare and cold in the small puddle of water that the rain had splashed in.

He's gone. Again.

"Bakaito." She muttered, her eyes fell to the dry towel in her hand.

.o.

Kaito stared before his computer and brought a hand to his chin, rubbing it continuously, as if it would suddenly bring him light to the new magic trick he had to come up with for his next heist. In the midst of his thoughts, his doorbell rang, interrupting his thinking process as he sighed.

He had been living alone for so long and he had never invited anyone to his house, yet this had been the fourth time the doorbell rung this week. He mindlessly wondered why he even installed one in the first place before he trudged down the stairs to the living room and whipped open the door.

"I'm not interested in any woks, pans or insurance-"

His heart stopped.

Aoko was standing before him, her hand raised to the doorbell, about to ring it the second time before she let it fall to her side. She afforded a smile and Kaito didn't know if it was one of those painful, necessary smiles that was entirely about the outward appearances and nothing to do with inward emotions or otherwise. Then again, he had no rights to choose.

"Hey." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Are you free now?"

"Of course." Kaito quickly said, much to his embarrassment. He cleared his throat and decided to try again. "Yes, I am."

"If you don't mind, do you want to eat the Christmas Eve dinner I've prepared? It's a lot, and I don't think my Dad and I can finish by ourselves."

Was this all a dream because hell, Kaito would do anything to stop himself from waking up. He nodded and she turned towards his gate as he swiftly followed after he put on his shoes.

It took less than thirty seconds for them to reach her house, but once they entered, with Kaito softly mumbling his apology of intruding, Inspector Nakamori was waving a can of beer, complaining what took Aoko so long to get him to their house. She visibly blushed and sent a nasty scowl over at her father, complaining about how he shouldn't drink when they hadn't started on the food.

Aoko wasn't joking when she said she made a lot. The whole table was filled with all sorts of delicacy that Kaito didn't recognize, but they all looked pretty interesting and edible if he had to judge. They settled around the table and began expressing their thanks for the food.

"What's this?" The Inspector scrutinized one of the plates. It seemed it wasn't only Kaito who was confused.

"Beef Bourguignon."

The Inspector stared at it suspiciously while Aoko rolled her eyes.

Since Kaito recognized the word beef, he decided to start on that first. He scooped a portion to his plate and tucked into his first meal of the day.

Baking was one talent while cooking was another. He remembered the meals Aoko whipped up during those high-school days were often a so-so, but without fail, she would ask for his opinion, to which he ungratefully and childishly sent remarks that depressed her a little, though it didn't stop her from making more food to feed his hungry stomach. Kaito was already expecting the familiar, wide-eye gaze she always used to look at him across the table, trying to spot any of his reaction on her own before he commented on the taste.

That expression of hers always made him want to laugh, and he did.

"What's so funny?" She scowled.

"Something's wrong with the meat?" The Inspector suggested.

"The opposite." Kaito picked up his fork and ate the food again. "It's good."

Inspector Nakamori raised an eyebrow and took a couple of scoop to test it himself, whereas Aoko was still scowling at him.

"Then why are you laughing?"

The bubbling feeling in his chest wouldn't go away and his lips curled up into a smile, showing the happiness he couldn't contain. The anger in her eyes subsided, replacing with a look of surprise. After so long, Kaito didn't dare to dream that he would ever be here, sitting in front of Aoko and eating her cooked food like before. He had no idea what was with her change of heart, but he rather enjoy the moment than to wonder about that.

Not knowing how to phrase this silly feelings into words, all he could do was to construct them into a sentence that Kuroba Kaito would usually say.

"Your cooking skills have improved. I'm glad for my stomach tonight."

Before Aoko could retort, the Inspector nodded his head too. "It sure did. It tastes good."

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Still doubtful about my cooking?"

"It's nice to have dinner like this again." Inspector Nakamori suddenly said. "I can't remember when the last time this happened was."

Aoko didn't bat an eyelid. "Probably two years ago."

Either he was too oblivious about the reason behind the sudden silence in the room or that he was miraculously sensitive about the change of atmosphere, the Inspector changed the subject again, though Kaito suspected it was the former.

"So where did you learn these skills?"

"Some of my colleagues and students exchanged tips with each other. I've picked up a few cooking recipes from there."

"Ah, speaking of which, what's that guy's name again?"

Kaito glanced up.

"What guy?" Aoko frowned.

"That guy you said was chasing after you."

She groaned. "He's not chasing after me, Dad. He's just one of my students."

"You said you had a dinner date with him, that's why you cancelled ours."

Kaito was getting lost in the conversation. Guy? Student? Dinner? Date? What?

"We're not dating and he's not chasing after me. It's simply a dinner. I don't remember saying the word date behind it." Aoko hastily stood up and began cutting up the turkey. "Anyway, try this chestnut stuffing I've spent hours making and tell me how it is."

The conversations on the table were jumbled everywhere, and with the help of the television, it ranged from kittens to politics and silence soon became rare, as long as there wasn't a mention of Kaitou Kid, which thankfully didn't happen. After the scrumptious dinner Kaito knew it had been years since he had one, Inspector Nakamori spent most of his time drinking after dessert, while the two of them stayed in the kitchen cleaning the dishes. At first Aoko refused his assistance, but after realizing she only had an hour left before the last train departs, she obliged to his request.

They minded their own tasks, exchanging apologies whenever they bumped into each other accidentally. It wasn't the awkward silence that Kaito dreaded; they were too busy to think of anything to say to each other. Somehow, he was glad about it.

After the dishes were cleaned, Kaito dragged Inspector Nakamori to his bed when the latter was zonked out from his couple of beers. When that was done, Aoko thanked him again and declared she had to leave now or she wouldn't make it home tonight. He considered asking her to stay if she missed the last train, then again, he wasn't in the position to suggest anything for her life.

Ensuring the doors were locked, Aoko kept the keys and they left the front gate together and to the streets. He thought it was time to say goodbye, forsaking the words of wishing they would meet again when instead, she stood on the ground, eyes staring at her shoes like they were made of gold. Kaito stayed put, until her glimmering eyes looked into his.

"Did you feel comfortable tonight?" She asked.

Kaito sighed inwardly. This was everything he had wished for to happen again after the day she moved away. "It's a nice dinner. I appreciate it." He meant his words, and he hoped she understood that.

"I've thought about it for a long time after that night." Aoko pursed her lips. "I can't guarantee that we wouldn't see each other again, and it would be tiring if it's either tense, awkward, confused, or all three at the same time whenever we meet. To make things easier, I've decided to change."

Change?

"I'm not going to pressure you for answers anymore, or do things that make you uncomfortable." She rubbed both side of her arms before she slowly stuck a hand out towards him. "Let's start over, as friends. Nothing more, nothing less."

He stared at her hand, thin fingers, and lines on her palm...

"Hello, my name is Nakamori Aoko." She smiled. "Nice to meet you."

They weren't a couple, not even childhood best friends. Just friends, nothing more, nothing less. Kaito wasn't sure if he wanted to accept this treaty, having to forget and give up all the years they spent together. It's unfair, this wasn't what he wanted. Then again, all those tears and lies wasn't what he wanted either. For Aoko to come to his door and ring the bell for the dinner tonight, it was surprising the food didn't turn that cold when he ate. She really must have invested a lot of time and consideration for this plan before putting them into action, and he decided he shouldn't allow his little selfish thought to ruin it for her.

At least they were friends; there was a status between them.

Kaito reached out for her hand, feeling the warmth as much as he could. He returned her with a smile. "My name is Kuroba Kaito. Nice to meet you too."

They stood there for a couple of seconds and he took the chance to let the memory of their first meeting to blend into their background. He remembered the chatters from the crowd, the clacking of shoes, the sad blue eyes that lit up once he showed her the red rose... And as fine as sand, everything faded along with the wind once Aoko let go of his hand.

"I should hurry now." She glanced down at her phone.

"As a friend." Kaito dared himself to speak. "Can I send you to the train station?"

"Okay."

Aoko filled the silence by talking about her work, mentioning about a new colleague named Kasumi, who made her head grew twice as large whenever they meet. He listened, offering input along the way, such as suggesting fart cushions or fake cockroaches, the usual tricks he used on Hakuba back in the past. She said she would keep them in mind.

He guessed she was about to ask him those typical, polite adults questions, along the lines of "How's your work?" or some sort, but she kept her mouth shut instead. Of course, his work wasn't something he could talk about so casually, and mentioning earlier, she promised not to ask anymore. Still, it wasn't really like everything about him revolved around Kaitou Kid. Those bits about the other part of his life, he was more than willing to share with her.

"Jii-chan occasionally set up shows for me. Most of them are volunteer work for charities."

"Really?" She perked up. "That's really cool."

"You can say so."

A pity, the station was a ten minutes' walk from their neighbourhood and they reached on the cue when their conversation ended. Despite the late timing, there were many people at the station, mostly couples hugging and acting as if they would die if they let go of each other. Well, it was Christmas Eve after all, not like he cared. As for Aoko, he wasn't sure if she was concerned about the people around her. If she did, she certainly didn't show it.

Kaito scratched his nose, pondering if the sentence he wanted to say would overstep his boundaries.

Whatever.

"Will you be okay to walk back alone?"

"I'll be fine. The journey from the station to my home is often crowded." She pat her bag." Besides, I've got a pepper spray."

He raised an eyebrow.

Bong.

It was the chime of the clock tower echoing from a distance away.

Bong

In sync, they turned their heads towards the direction of where the clock tower was.

Bong

Couple began kissing, cheers and excited squeals of Christmas greeting could be heard around them, sparklers started appearing, the bright sparks flying everywhere and lighting up faces of happy kids and family... Strange enough, Kaito was vaguely impressed by everyone's fast reaction to do so many things once the clock struck twelve. Or perhaps the slow one was him when he was too busy being intrigued by something as silly as the bells of a clock tower.

He turned back to Aoko, who was staring at him for a while.

"Merry Christmas!" She beamed.

Her smile didn't bloom only in spring, but showed its strength through fall and survived in the winter, just like chrysanthemums. There were so many kinds, so many symbolization, but it wasn't as rare as a blue rose, or as pretty as the cherry blossoms. That didn't matter, in fact, it was even better. The simplicity of it was what attracted Kaito to love it so much.

Kaito had the brains and talent to get anything he wanted, from little things like jewels to a massive clock tower. But this smile was something he couldn't steal, no matter how priceless it was to him. He once wished she was as happy as she was pretending to be, and he hoped this was one of the moments for her.

"Merry Christmas." He finally said, trying to ignore his sudden irregular heartbeat.

Aoko bade goodbye and turned, walking towards the gantry area to tap her card into the station. She gave a final wave before disappearing into the crowd. Kaito only leave when he made sure he couldn't see her anymore.

I guess I've let these poor babies suffered enough. Here's to a positive end.
And nope, we're still a little far from the ending so... yeah. Anyway, thanks for reading, updates won't be as frequent as I'm doing recently (which I'm surprised at the rate I'm going) but reviews are appreciated :)