Cameron trails along dizzily beside me, almost staggering as she zigzags down the hallway.

Cas marches behind us, stiff with anger, walking a perfectly straight path to negate the crooked one that Cameron is taking.

We make a horrific parade.

We could have stayed in the dungeon while Cas examines Cameron, but I thought it was a bad idea...after what we -specifically her- have just witnessed and went through, it seemed best to get as far away from the room as possible.

Dean insisted on staying behind. Said he needed to clean up the dungeon.

I'm grateful for his intuition. If I have any say in it, Cameron will never see another angel corpse as long as she lives.

Cameron's breaths hitch in and out, unsteadily, and I watch her out of the corner of my eye while she tries so hard to keep her composure.

"Don't be scared. He's probably making it sound worse than it is." I try to convince her, jerking my head in Cas' direction.

Cas opens his mouth to protest that no, it most likely is as horrible as it sounds, but I cut him off with a killer glare. He gets the idea.

"Okay…" she whispers.

She can't keep pretending to be okay.

Bending, I wrap my arms around her legs and waist and lift her, holding her against me. She leans her head on my shoulder and doesn't move again until we're in the kitchen.

I set her down at the kitchen table, trying to make her comfortable. She seems like she's almost in a trance; her eyes are glazed over and her movements are slow and robotic.

Cas is gentle with her, bless him. He explains, albeit vaguely, each spell, each test, before he does them.

She complies, sitting still as he searches out her soul, gives her different potions to drink, and chants incantations over her.

I try to ignore that his expression becomes more grim with every passing moment.

Finally, after standing and staring at her for a long moment, he sighs and shakes his head. Then he pulls me aside, out of the room.

"I know what he did to her." he says sadly.

His words don't even make sense. That's impossible.

"What?" I stutter.

I can't comprehend what Cas has diagnosed. It doesn't make sense. It can't be true.

"You have to tell her." Cas says.

"No, no I don't. She'll live without it." I protest.

Cas tilts his head, looking at me with the pitying puppy gaze that I've come to despise over the years.

"She will be doing things, and breathing, and waking, but can you call it living?" he challenges.

I have no answer for that.

Every step I take towards the kitchen, towards Cameron, is like man's first step on the moon.

Giant.

Impossible.

Yet...happening. Real.

He's right, I have to tell her.

She doesn't look any different.

She should, considering. She just doesn't. She's still Cameron. Gorgeous. Fierce. Small.

"Cameron…"

I can't do it.

I kneel in front of her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Cam...tell me who I am. To you."

She raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know...just think about it. And whatever comes to your head. You're going to have to be honest."

She shakes her head, bewildered. "Sam, what is this about?"

"Just tell me!"

"I...I don't know!"

I scrub at my face with my hands while she stares at me.

Her gaze is cold, calculating. Confused, but not concerned. Dead.

Cas was right. Metatron has removed love.

"Sam?" she says

I can't stand to look at her. I walk out of the room, leaving her with Cas.

My body protests against the running, but I don't stop. The hallways blur into a gray mist as I fly past them, and I charge towards the dungeon like a mad bull. I see crimson.

I tumble into the dungeon, where Dean is unceremoniously stuffing Metatron's body into a Hefty no-odor trash bag.

My brother drops what he's doing, the obvious question about my well-being dancing at his lips; the question he always asks. He takes in my face, my heaving chest. He wants to ask if I'm okay, but he already knows the answer. Besides, he knows what's on my mind.

He switches gears mid-sentence. "Is she okay?" he asks gently.

He wipes blood from his palms onto his jeans as he approaches me.

I shake my head.

"Can we fix it?"

"Yes." I decide. "We'll find a way."